Welcome to The Challenge, Gasmii! It’s gone super old school, being Battle of the Seasons and all, while also bringing in a whole buttload of new people. Those of you who are still watching Real World just to see who ends up here, your past several seasons have finally been rewarded! Anyway, this episode was delightfully weird. This season has so much potential.
As they march in, Dustin promises to stand up for what he believes in. Jasmine is determined to be cool, calm, and collected- let’s not get ahead of ourselves here, feel free to spaz out and break some shit. Frank still has no filter, Nany is ready to be conniving, and so on and so forth. Wes (one of the only cast members – if not THE only cast member- on this season who has worn out his welcome) declares that no one here is even in his league.
20,000 leagues under the sea of ego and bullshit? Give them some time, they’ll get there.
Our old buddy Teej welcomes them to Bodrum, Turkey. Then he has to introduce himself and tell them he’s a BMX rider! This is how you know it’s Amateur Hour on this here Challenge, when even TJ needs an introduction. He informs them that they will be competing in a Battle of the Seasons to determine whose trash-talking is most justified. Everyone looks varying degrees of uncomfortable.
Team Austin: Wes, Lacey, Danny, and Melinda. I guess Johanna has moved on to bigger and better things, once and for… now, at least. Lacey is excited to be back with her Real World family, although I don’t know why because she seems like a nice, normal human being. Melinda is still going with the theory that Wes is a political mastermind, and reminds us (as Teej already has a few times) that Danny is her ex-husband, and that Lacey has never done this before.
Team Back to New Orleans: Jemmye, Knight, McKenzie (THAT’S Starfish’s real name?!) and…
Teck Money?! What are you doing here, and where’s the rest of Hawaii?!
Oh, never mind, it’s just Preston. Hey, Preston! McKenzie hopes her roommates can get along, but Knight and Preston are already getting snippy.
Team Cancun: Jasmine, CJ, Jonna, and Derek. Full disclosure: I did not watch a single minute of this season. However, I have seen all four of them in previous Challenges. Derek lasted about five minutes, CJ about ten, but the J twins had a pretty impressive run on Rivals. Apparently they’ve buried the hatchet since then, and this team has no drama to speak of at the moment.
Team Back to San Diego: Ashley, Zach, Sam, and Frank. Apparently Zach has made up with Frank since their season, but Ashley ripped his heart out, put it in a blender, and served it to him for breakfast.
Well, there’s probably a lot of protein in that, so that’s good.