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Not gonna lie, Gasmii, I thought of this title weeks ago and have been waiting to use it.
Also, apparently another former cast member- Joey from Hollywood- has died (shoutout to Derek Hazelton for providing the link in the comments of the last recap). I didn’t watch that season but I know he was in and out of rehab, and he was only 29. If my count is right, he’s only the third cast member to die, right? Frankie “too punk rock for this” from the original San Diego season, and of course Pedro, are the other two that I know of.
Previously: Drunken Trey is hyper-controlling and it’s hideously uncomfortable to watch. But at least RomCom/Lifetime finally asked him to decide whether or not they’re together? Girl… power? Ginger told his GBH not to come visit, but was murky with Mo’Rum about his motivations. Trey knocked up his GBH, but they’re purposely vague about it.
Currently: It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s…
So, turns out Grandpa Trey is one of those douches who yells at sleeping people to wake them up, like a less charming version of Pauly D. Yes, that’s right, a LESS charming version of Pauly D. Ginger manages to show more restraint than I would have by not knocking him the fuck out.
It’s time for one of the faux-educational scenes of the season, as Filippo (no clue if that spelling is right, because he is the one person in the history of reality television that does not get name-tagged) has arrived to show them “historical landmarks” on their island. Mo’Rum and Latoya have primped for the occasion, just in case he’s hot.
Mo’Rum notices his expensive watch (he’s a Rolex distributor), because she’s one of those girls, and decides to be flirtatious. Poor Ginger (in more ways than one).
According to Filippo, they’re living on a former leper colony. HA! Here’s hoping most reality show cast members end up on one sometime in the near future. After a brief pause so Grandpa Trey and Swift can remove some thorns from Latoya’s rear end, he shows them a building he’s hoping to restore and invites them for dinner at his mansion. He drops them off back at home, where they have retained precisely one fact: Filippo is a billionaire, and Mo’Rum and Latoya are very excited.
While Grandpa and RomCom fight over her blue “yummy juice” concoction (complete with him “joking” about getting rid of her), Latoya points out to Swift and Captain Needy that what he’s doing is wrong. The Captain ventures that if the first girl was so great, he wouldn’t have feelings for someone else, and Latoya agrees. She also points out that even though they say they’ve talked about it, nothing has changed. It seems to me that whether or not Grandpa has actual “feelings” for RomCom is very much up for debate.