Swift wants to move it, but Ginger thinks it’s safe hiding in RomCom’s kayak. Moments later, Marie is dumping the fish back into the water and Swift jumps in to try to save it. Marie yells to Latoya to help shove the fish out to sea and it’s pure chaos.
Please note that Swift is saying this while Latoya is nowhere near him. This will be important later.
Anyway, in the chaos, Swift is trying to get out of the water while Latoya is trying to knock the fish back in. Swift proceeds to yell at her for knocking him and his fucked up foot back into the water, and Latoya is pissed that he’s trying to blame her when he shouldn’t have jumped into that particular part of the water without protective shoes to begin with. (At this point I was distracted thinking about the extensive safety lectures the roomies must have gotten when they moved in, and how impressive it is that some of them seemed to pay some sort of attention.)
So, Swift is in a lot of pain and can barely make it out of the water. Ginger has to throw Swift over his shoulder and carry him back up to the house. Why is Swift in so much pain?
Because the dumbass stepped on THIS. HOLY SHIT.
Swift and Ginger are discussing his injury when Marie comes over to apologize. Swift is still blaming Latoya for (from what we saw) taking more than 10 seconds to realize what was going on in the chaos of everyone screaming. That… bitch? Marie tries to defend Latoya, but Swift claims he just wants her to own up to it. Whatever it is.
Marie, being Marie, suggests the all-natural remedy of rum. They offer to pull whatever’s stuck in his foot out once he passes out. Cue montage of drinking, interrupted when RomCom tears herself away from Trey long enough to ask “Swifty” what happened in her baby voice. He tries to give her credit for the prank, but she immediately insists that it wasn’t her. Marie is still playing her innocent game, so this leads to Latoya getting blamed.
Latoya, meanwhile, is recounting the events for her mother, who advises her to walk away from the situation since neither party is going to back down.
The other roomies have called Lee the boat captain over to examine the situation. He recommends peeing on Swifts foot. All of the other roomies are more than willing to do the urinating, but Swift is unwilling to be on the receiving end.
But Swift! How often in life do you have such a golden opportunity to re-enact a Friends episode?
Get it? Golden opportunity? Lee ends up recommending a trip to the doctor, prompting Marie to declare “It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Then it’s even funnier.” Ginger attempt to take charge, which is adorable, getting Swift his stuff and asking where his wallet is. Swift says he didn’t bring his insurance card, but insists that they’ll be able to look it up at the doctor’s office. So… he’s not bringing his wallet with him to the doctor at all. Ginger offers to carry Swift, but that makes him feel like too much of a bitch even though he respects the offer.