Real World Recap: Swift’s Anatomy

Recaps

By VirginiaApple | Tuesday, July 24, 2012 | 9:29 am | 21 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Real World, Recaps

Swift is officially good and drunk as he slurs his words and has Ginger help him toward the boat.  Ginger leaves him on the ground to go make sure the boat is ready and Marie comes over to sit with him.  When he sees Latoya coming, he makes it a huge point to thank her for sitting with him.  Latoya attempts to ask how he is and explain that she didn’t know how bad it was, but it’s a lost cause and Swift just continues to yell and blame her.  Evidently the greatest offense is that she waited an entire hour to “own up to it.”

Remember when we were talking about how Swift had almost zero screentime?  I don’t know about you guys, but after this episode I’m set for a little while.

The highlight is probably him screaming about how Ginger and Marie were there for him “from the GET!”  As if they’re his childhood best friends who helped him through great ordeals.  And Latoya, that asshole, waited a whole hour after being screamed at to properly assess the situation. 

Latoya decides to join them in an attempt to prove her concern, and Marie says they can continue this conversation on the boat.  Ginger doesn’t even throw Swift over his shoulder and instead just cradles him like a baby to get him to the boat.  Swift spends the entire boat ride continuing to blame Latoya repeatedly, as if the entire thing is her fault.

And then he tries to walk up an incline on shore and promptly falls on his ass.  He’s still bitching at Latoya and insists that Ginger be the one to help him up.  Latoya decides to wait on the dock while Marie and Ginger take Swift to the doctor, since clearly her coming with them did nothing whatsoever to convince Swift that she wasn’t actually trying to personally stab him in the foot.

After a long, painful walk to the doctor, Swift even tries to blame Latoya when the doctor asks what happened.  He slurs something about “not naming names” before Ginger interrupts with the only actually relevant information: Swift fell on some sea urchins.  The best part is Swift trying to sound coherent and intelligent as he explains to the doctor that before any tests or medications are given, the doctor should know that he’s been drinking.


In case the medical professional on a tropical island was confused about what a drunk person looks like.

The doctor says someone needs to be sober enough to remember what he tells them.  Marie insists she will, but Ginger seems the soberest so I trust that he’s got things under control.

Doc explains that the urchins aren’t poisonous, and it’s just calcium carbonate, which will be absorbed into Swift’s body as he walks.  As Marie points out, he literally has to walk it out.  The doctor offers some pain medication but specifies that it cannot be mixed with alcohol.  Swift tells us that he’s learned his lesson, which is that sea urchins are not to be trifled with.  “And when all else fails, blame it on Latoya,” he fails to add.

“This is what I get for not getting into an American medical school.”

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21 Comments

  1. 1
    Laurenb52
    Posted July 24, 2012 at 11:55 am

    From browsing both Latoya and Swift’s twitter timelines the fight is STILL going on. He also did an after show ustream where he said Latoya wasn’t pretty and was a loud mouth while he sat between the legs of various girls sitting behind him (seems he’s trying to push that player image). My initial annoyance with this guy has matured into dislike but we’ll see how the rest of the season goes

  2. 2
    beachgal
    Posted July 24, 2012 at 1:13 pm

    I love this season. They are so much fun. I liked Vegas as well. But I can’t even remember the location of the last season. They were a bore.

  3. 3
    JudgyWudgy
    Posted July 24, 2012 at 1:13 pm

    Come on, no one notices Marie slip effortlessly from adamantly blaming RomCom to insisting she saw and remembers Captain Needy being the culprit? NO ONE? They’re making this way too easy for her.

  4. 4
    Moli Moli
    Posted July 24, 2012 at 4:25 pm

    squeals@the shoutout! Thank you@JudgyWudgy, she point blank blamed RomCom and no one remembered. Marie says ‘oh yea we know it was you…we even encouraged you’, the hell???? The foot thing only got confusing when Swift blamed LaToya, I sat here looking at the screen saying out loud “how is this her fault’? I have never seen a more irrational person than Swift, LaToya took all of the blame that she had NO business taking.
    Thankfully we were only limited to 2 and a half(baby talking Swift) moments of every spinster in Americas’ genre of film. She is so exhausting how could anyone be in a relationship with this girl? Mooshymooshy talk to an iguana(ew)… it was understandable with that little lizard(ew) she found the first day.

    I like Ginger and Marie(she’s a crafty one) they are cute together. When Captian Needy isn’t being…needy he’s an OK guy, did you catch him asking Swift what kind of drugs he was prescribed? I hope Swift lied when he said it was only over the counter meds ONLY to give him a redeeming moment this episode.

  5. 5
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted July 24, 2012 at 7:35 pm

    I just caught up, I can barely pay attention. I really wish they were on the bigger island. TY as always VA!

  6. 6
    carol
    Posted July 24, 2012 at 10:43 pm

    Did anyone else get the impression that Latoya’s mom was making the situation worse than it really was. There was something in her tone that was off. Also, Latoya and Swift were both acting like little kids with huge egos. It was Swift’s fault but Latoya was acting like it was actually her fault but she didn’t want to own up to it. If Latoya hadn’t walked away and just helped Swift it would have been over in 5 minutes.

    Swift is a tiny man. Standing next to Ginger he looked like a 6 year old.

    A great ending to this episode would have been if the roommates had gone out for dinner and they had ordered sea urchin.

  7. 7
    jerseyj
    Posted July 25, 2012 at 6:08 am

    1) I am firmly team LaToya…she didn’t do anything wrong! She didn’t start the prank, she didn’t make Swift jump in the water on the sea urchins, she even went to the doctor with him and offered to pay for it! The only mistake she made was trying to reason with a drunk person…that never ends well! She should have waited until after he slept it off.

    2) So glad to have an almost RomCom free episode!

  8. 8
    considerthis
    Posted July 25, 2012 at 7:30 am

    Deep question
    How does an Iguana end up on an island? Was it born there? OR Did Farrah purchase it at the St. Thomas Petsmart and then after Sophia painted it with nail polish decide it was too much for her and just carelessly release it??

  9. 9
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted July 25, 2012 at 7:51 am

    I think they can swing @considerthis.

    http://www.vinow.com/articles/031709/iguanas.php

  10. 10
    considerthis
    Posted July 25, 2012 at 8:11 am

    Thx Gypsy – good 2 know :)

  11. 11
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted July 25, 2012 at 8:49 am

    I mean swim! Oh lord my typos! *facepalm*

  12. 12
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted July 25, 2012 at 9:20 am

    Thankfully you corrected your self b/c I was going to be very concerned if iguanas were swinging around.

  13. 13
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted July 25, 2012 at 9:38 am

    Or, if they themselves were swingers.

    Holy shit, I can be a hot typo mess, LMAO

  14. 14
    captain save-uh-ho
    Posted July 25, 2012 at 9:51 am

    Personally, I prefer swinging Iguanas!

  15. 15
    plockeness monster plockeness monster
    Posted July 25, 2012 at 4:10 pm

    This episode fucking sucked. Thank you for making the recap sooooo much better than the actual show, VA. There’s usually one or two a season, and this is only the third episode!!!

  16. 16
    plockeness monster plockeness monster
    Posted July 25, 2012 at 4:31 pm

    If my foot was hurting, I would let any of my roommates pee on it. I would let the boat guy pee on it. Anything to stop the pain. I agree, too much Swift this episode. It was probably because he was drunk but still…awful.

    I don’t like RomCom.

    Team LaToya, I guess. But I’m biased because she’s my fav

    I’m ready for a Captain melt down!!!!

  17. 17
    captain save-uh-ho
    Posted July 25, 2012 at 8:04 pm

    The location SUCKS. I think this cast would have so much more potential in a big city. The kids have a “curfew” for production reasons and had to be back before the party even begins in Island Time. Not sure the logistics were really thought out that well.
    At least in Vegas- despite the curfew, the kids got to stay out later as long as they were in the casino that was in there hotel…so basically they could hang out all night.
    Also, way easier to bring potential hookups home when all you have to do is take the elevator up to the room.
    This location is stifling them. Totally sucks balls.
    I did think it was highlarious when Marie convinced Captain that he was the one who pulled the prank.

  18. 18
    VunterSlaush VunterSlaush
    Posted July 25, 2012 at 8:32 pm

    @ Captain

    I think ‘the Swinging Iguana’ would also make a great name for a bar.

  19. 19
    captain save-uh-ho
    Posted July 25, 2012 at 9:14 pm

    @VunterSlaush… I would definitely hang out at that bar. I wonder what sort of specialty drink The Swinging Iguana would have…

  20. 20
    jennnifer newlond
    Posted August 26, 2012 at 4:10 pm

    Marie is the biggest bitch. She treats ginger and the whole House like shit. And no wonder ginger is so sctewed up. She messes with his head and basiclly tells him he is not a man about anythin and in her words thats ” not a good look”. Whats not a goodlook is her she looks about 50 with all that drinking she is rude and feeds off other peoples problems and if I was New Jersey I would be embaressed to be from the same place. She was born without sesitivity and compassion gene and its sad how she treats other people espesially ginger. The only genes she was born with is the ME ME ME gene. So Sad!

  21. 21
    JudgyWudgy
    Posted August 26, 2012 at 5:01 pm

    She’s from Staten Island.

    I’m super confused by people who choose to hate Marie when they have the option of Trey and/or Laura. Yeah, her personality is an acquired taste but I by far find her to be the lesser of all evils.

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