Recap: Beverly Hills Nannies

Kristin also believes that with a “little bit of coaching”, Lil Drunky can be a good nanny. HAHAHAHAHAH

The gals pick the kids up from school and then have to oversee homework.  Unsurprisingly, Lil Drunky says she doesn’t have “mad homework skills”.  Apart from bending her elbow, what “mad skills” does she have?  Drunky complains to Kristin that the kids are all asking questions and it’s getting a bit overwhelming. 

All I want to do is throw back a couple more shots.

Kristin says she is running back and forth between homework and the kitchen, and goes on to say their meals aren’t PB&J, they’re shrimp scampi.  Not if you make their favorite mashed potatoes with syrup!  Also shrimp scampi is essentially spaghetti with sauteed shrimp, which takes all of 3 minutes.  Drunky asks if she can pull recipes “from online” and Kristin says she does that all the time.  Really?  These people have no cookbooks?  Recipes they like?  Or, oh, cooks?

Kristin goes on to share that a nanny is also a teacher and a PA, and that she has mixed emotions about Lil Drunky being in her stable, because Kristin’s name is on the line.  We’ll see later that despite this statement, keeping a good name is apparently not one of Kristin’s priorities.

The scene ends with Drunky asking where are the directions for making pasta, and one of the kids asking her if she’s ever been a nanny, then going on to pronounce her “awesome but not really awesome”.  I guess that’s kid-speak for “loser”.

Is this thing on?

Over at Bitch House, Marika is showing Justin her huge freezer chest of milk (and just in case you didn’t watch the ep, it’s not milk from a cow.  Well, not from a bovine cow) and telling him he has to organize by date and amount. 

White bitches be crazy.

As a childless spinster, I have a couple of questions:  Isn’t it preferable to give them fresh milk?  If Heifer is home all day (she is), what is the kid drinking?  Wouldn’t freezing and thawing change the taste or texture of the milk?  How long does she plan to feed the kid milk, until he graduates college?  Doesn’t milk, like any dairy product, spoil? 

Yes, sir, I can get gallons from these things!

Justin finds this whole subject disgusting.  Right with ya there, pal.  Heifer calls her breasts “workhorses” and says she is offended Justin is squeamish.  Justin and the entire country, honey.  She goes on to imply that breast size equals output, which I for some reason find untrue.  Cause if that were the case, kids of petite moms would be dying of hunger every day.  And they’re not.  Plenty to go around regardless of size.