Recap: Beverly Hills Nannies

Commercial.  And now, a montage of the Many Faces of Lil Drunky’s Best Friend (no, not booze.  The other one):

Ish gon leen reeeel close an you props me up, mkay?

Nows your turn to poke mys eyes out. Hic.

I’se not gettin fresh.  Jes want your boooooz.

It’s the wedding day, Amber is getting her hair done, and says Kristin has left her a voicemail saying she has food poisoning, and won’t be going to Ari’s house.  What a transparent lie!  If there was food poisoning at that party, everyone would be ill.  And they’re clearly not.  Amber calls Ari and tells her she’s sorry, but this is the first Ari has heard of Kristin being a no-show.  She’s angry.  Or as angry as Botox lets you get.

I’m white-hot with anger.

Meanwhile, Amber is in her car and calling Kristin, who finally answers.  She tells Amber that she’s “not going to have you make me feel bad for that”.  Amber shoots back that Kristin should not have “gone out and gotten sh-tface wasted” the night before she had to nanny.  Kristin says she’s not wasted and shares she went to a doctor (so?) and Amber can go f herself.  What about your valued name and reputation, Kristin?  Once this gets out – and airs on national TV – there won’t be a reputable family having anything to do with you or your “agency”.  Amber goes on to say that Kristin is unprofessional, irresponsible, tacky and that she would never have done this to Kristin, no matter how ill Amber was she would have shown up.  Kristin says it’s not an effing hangover, and Amber responds that’s “bullcrap”, hurtful, irresponsible, and Kristin’s “lack of professionalism is appalling”.  Kristin tries to say something else, and Amber hangs up on her.

NOT drunk.  Whyse everbody alwayz pickin on me?

We go to the wedding, where we see the 2-layer cake looking very much like 2 layers just stuck on top of each other.  Barry calls Amber to give her a dose of total passive-aggressiveness, by telling her they wouldn’t hold it against her in “any way, shape or form” if she goes to the interview, and they “understand”.  Amber says she’s torn.  I wouldn’t be.  Minaj isn’t paying your rent.  Ari is.  Case closed!

Food poisoning my effing ass.

We end on that cliffhanger.  Will Amber do the right thing?  Will the wedding be saved or ruined? Does Justin pull the plug on Heifer’s milk freezer?  Stop back next week and find out!

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