Justin says this is crazy, and Jenny says she’s not even going to comment.
I’d like to break that chair over your head.
Commercial. Already this ep feels hours long, and we haven’t even gotten through all the moms!
Back from commercial, we learn that Tricia loves Lucy, Marshall gave Lindsay the go-ahead to hire Justin, and then we get to Scott and Cindy. Ross asks if Scott ever fantasized about Cindy. He says no, and really means “yeah 20 years ago but when I saw her all old and disgusting that killed my sex drive”. Ross brings up photos of Cindy and Scott leaving a sex shop, and she says she’s designing a sex toy for women. Hate to break it to you, Cindy, but dildos and vibrators are old news. Like you. Apparently they also went to Vegas. Scott says nothing’s ever happened, Cindy strongly implies that it did. People look like they’re going to hurl. I totally disbelieve her. This whole smarmy cougar schtick is just pathetic, Cindy. Grow. Up.
Also, what’s that outfit, a defrocked nun?
Oh, this is the first time we’ve seen Cindy clothed, isn’t it? So she does own something that’s not a robe or negligee! Who knew.
We’re back, but we’re not, to hear Lucy say that she knows she talks a lot, but she watches CNN. And there go the rest of CNN’s ratings.
CNN’s where they sell that sparkly jewelry, right?
Just the nannies again, and Ross asks who’s hotter, the man nannies or that swimmer guy Ryan somebody. Amanda says she likes Scott because she likes a guy with an accent. As I mentioned a ways back, you live in LA. Every guy has an accent, senora! Ross asks if Scott is “into” Amanda and he says she’s beautiful, a/k/a “not on your life”.
Finally we get to the real catfight. Ross brings up Kristin’s comments that Ari picked Amber because she was not good-looking. Incredibly, Kristin says she didn’t think Amber was going to find out. Right, because anything you say on national TV is a super secret. Effing idiot. Kristin goes on to say “everybody else thinks that”. Justin immediately says “I’ve never said that to anybody. I don’t feel that way. Watch your words”. LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! Then Kristin says she didn’t intend to include the whole nanny group in the term “everybody”. So it’s just the people in your head, then?
Professional Victim Amber then asks Kristin “what are you accomplishing by saying these hurtful mean things to me on camera and off camera. You’re supposed to be a leader”. Kristin says she teaches her kids to stand up for themselves and – this was not heard by the folks on the show – to “not allow riff raff in their life”. I remind Kristin she chose Amber and sheplaced Amber.
She’s a victim, all right. Of fashion.
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