After that, we see Ari and Barry, the fiance, bringing Amber to a cake tasting for the “second interview”, and then rating her on personality, friendliness, capability, discipline and cuteness (Ari’s criterion) right in front of her and the PA, Nataljia. They give Amber the job.
Commercial. Didn’t we just have a commercial 2 minutes ago? Really, ABC Family? What else happened during our break? Independence Day or, as some Canadians I follow on Twitter call it, “World America Day”. Works for me! I call it “Watch Twilight Zone Marathon on Syfy Day”. ‘Cause it isn’t a holiday in America without some kind of TV marathon. Americans: We like watching marathons, not too keen about running them.
We’re back to the Margolis house where Kristin tells us that BH kids don’t like just mac and cheese, they want gourmet dinners. The kids say they like mashed potatoes with syrup on them. Yep, that’s super gourmet. Better call Wolfgang Puck to get his recipe.
Commercial. What the hell?
We return to the nannies at Jack and Jill’s (it’s a restaurant) to have lunch. Amber says she got the job with Ari for $35/hour. Chump #2. The other 2 gals share they’re puzzled/upset that Ari never called them. She thinks anyone who works for her is dirt, that’s why she didn’t call. Amber goes on to say that Emma, Ari’s kid, has a speech problem. Kristin sniffs to us that it shouldn’t be public knowledge. She also says again that she wants to start a nanny referral service.
As the gals leave, Kristin corners Amanda and Shayla and tells them Amber got the job because she’s a brunette, is less attractive to men (oddly, Kristin is brunette too), and that Amber was hired only so Ari wouldn’t feel any competition. Ari’s a witch, but she’s not an idiot. Shayla couldn’t travel, that ruled her out. Amanda didn’t have the – love of animals? – something that Ari wanted. Hair color had nothing to do with it. And Amber is attractive in a 60′s throwback kind of way. Oh, and she’s the only one who said she had done drugs in the past when Ari asked. So she’s honest. A bit stupid, but honest.
Now we’re at Kristin’s apartment. She wants to invite everyone she intends to be in the referral service to a party. We finally meet Lil Drunky, who’s known Kristin all her life. Oh right, Lil Drunky is the one friend we all have, who we kind of like and who amuses us, but whom we mostly pity and constantly “lend” money to and listen to their innumerable plans to turn their life around, plans that never quite work out. . .
Ise Krs – Krrrrrz – Krish – her – besh frie- bestest – for life! Hic.
Maggie drinks “pretty much every day”. Which is code for “continuously”. Those of you who were with me recapping Eden’s World will be familiar with this type! Kristin is considering having Lil Drunky in her service, and cautions her to not drink, even if the employers offer. Lil Drunky claims she’s professional and doesn’t “have” to drink every day. No, you don’t. You want to drink every day. And do.
Commercial – are you freaking kidding me? This show should be called “48 minutes of commercials with some other stuff intermittently interspersed”. That’s kinda long for the TV Guide though, so I guess BH Nannies sounded better.
We return to the party. Pretty much everyone shows up, some folks we’ve met, and some we haven’t: Amanda, Kristina, Shaun, Justin, Scott, Shayla, Lucy. Shayla is extremely critical of the other girls being “sloppy drunk”. Fair to say of Lil Drunky, but I didn’t see anyone else falling about. Meanwhile, Scott tells us Lil Drunky needs a “sponsor” to basically tell her when not to drink. Honey, as someone who’s been in recovery a long time, I know sponsors. Telling you when and when not to drink is absolutely not a sponsor’s job. So stop throwing around 12-step terms cause you sound like an ass.
Not interested in sponsoring you. Just FYI.