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- and Rubin asks about a headshot. Shparkle says they have one but not with them. He then asks about a resume. They don’t have one of those either. Andrew shares that Heather did a great job forgetting those two crucial items. Later, Heather shares it was Andrew’s job. Great team you have there, Shparkle Babee.
Rubin shares that a lack of headshot and resume is a red flag that Eden and her team don’t know the industry. He goes on to say that arriving at an audition with an entourage is unusual and a “little scary”.
Meanwhile, Shparkle is asking Heather why she forgot the headshot and resume, and Heather literally doesn’t answer.
In another room, Rubin asks Eden if she’s studied acting. She says yes, she was a poodle once. So you “performed” once, you haven’t studied acting. And I’m not sure barking qualifies as a line. Rubin then has Eden run (non-barking) lines. Once Eden hears her cue, it takes her a really long time to say her line in response, even when Rubin tells her to not let any time lapse before she speaks.
Eden’s line readings can best be described as – hey, let’s let Rubin tell us:
Back at the audition, Rubin says goodbye to Eden, and she autographs her book for him. Shparkle Babee, who listened in at the audition room with the rest of her team, says Eden “nailed” the audition. Oh right, just like she “nailed” a recording contract back in ep 1. And she “nailed” modeling last week. And she’ll “nail” soft porn in a few years.
Off we go to Hudson, where Zoey is going to get her makeup and hair done. Cutabitch says to be a winner you need to be – all together now, T&T viewers – the TOTAL PACKAGE. She then proceeds to make Zoey’s hair look like a-s. This woman appears to be completely incapable of doing an updo! Just stunningly bad.
Heather takes beauty shots of Zoey. At one point, Heather asks Zoey to open her eyes more, and we cut to CamilleLite’s bulging eyes. HAHAHAH
It’s the day of the pageant, and Eden is welcoming people. OK, this definitely has to be a pageant run by the E-Team. Is it even a legit pageant? I wonder. Not many entrants that we see (same as in prior weeks). I have to say, the color of dresses Zoey has (we see 2) are stunning with her complexion and coloring. She does look beautiful, except for the Mary Tyler Moore Show hair Cutabitch stuck her with. CamilleLite is, as always, polite but very nervous.
Now Zoey is up on the stage. The dress is too long and has too much fabric in the skirt portion.
She’s OK onstage, not super polished though. Later, Zoey tells CamilleLite she hates her hair. CamilleLite says someone told her Zoey liked looking like Mrs. Obama. Zoey retorts that she never said that. Also, Michelle Obama doesn’t wear her hair that way. Because she doesn’t have some third-rate talentless hack Fransolonely jacking up her hair, unlike hapless Zoey.
We see some other kids up on the stage and we hear Shparkle Babee yelling – again, all together now: SPARKLE BABY!
Now we see Zoey in an odd sort of Polynesian(?) outfit, dancing. She does pretty well. If I were her, I’d concentrate on the dancing, not the pageants.
DuhduhDUH – Andrew is on the phone with Summer Crockett Moore, the producer of the off-Broadway play for which Eden auditioned, telling Andrew they’re going to pass on Eden. Andrew does not look surprised, because he’s the only one on the E-Team who even approaches living in reality.