Recap: Love in the Wild – The Finale!

They get dressed for the challenge and make a pit stop by the Couple’s Cactus. As it turns out Kenina also carved their names into cactus leaves, which is obviously the ultimate test of compatibility. Based on all the fallen names already hacked into this poor plant I’m guessing the Dominican Republic doesn’t have the “Take only photos, leave only footprints” motto.

Um, who is Eduardo?

The teams show up in the ubiquitous Challenge Field and Jenny is bright eyed and bushy tailed with a fresh bleaching. Her hair is also a lot whiter.

“It stings, but Eduardo loves it”

The big final challenge is some extravaganza of all the same kind of crap they’ve been doing and it is also overnight. The grand prize is slightly better defined as a trip with five-star hotel accommodations and spending money to the most romantic destinations in the world- Venice, Sydney, NYC, London, Tokyo, Buenes Aires, Rio and Paris. Jenny does word it carefully though to convince me that the trip is certainly not all those places. I’m guessing they have open-ended tickets and a finite time frame with vouchers for a certain hotel chain in each city. I do find it interesting that they do not pimp out the name of the hotel… what is going on with this show? Is there even a prize? It seems like an excellent ploy by NBC to spend less and make it seem like they’re getting an amazing trip.

Love in the Airport

Yanina interviews to say that this is important because a couple needs to travel together before they can get married. I think that is not the only milestone they should finish before tying the knot. One I would suggest is to know each other for more than two weeks. Cockney interviews that his ambition with Juggs is a trip to the store to pick up milk and bread. So an international vacation would be cool.

“I’ve got a 50/50 chance??”

Jenny says the first challenge is all about communication. I guess that’s NBC’s way of ensuring the best couple takes the prize. They need to choose immediately who is better at following and who is better at giving directions.

Instead, Cocky McJuggs discuss why Juggs hasn’t achieved orgasm

Not surprisingly control-issue Ken and hard-head Cock both decide to be givers. A truck pulls up and the guys are told to jump in the bed while the ladies need to stay put until they hear instructions. Then in a real surprise move, Jenny actually moves! Her legs work! She jumps in the cab the whole premise of the show is revealed. She is either kidnapping love slaves or starting up a new cartel.

Lamest cartel ever