Recap: Love in the Wild: What’s Love Got To Do With It?

And we’re already at Jenny McCarthy, standing around like a rubber statue and explaining today’s challenge. She’s light on bad jokes and tortured facial expressions today but she does throw out a sly dig at Jim Carrey. Too bad he was the funniest thing that will ever come out of her mouth. Oh and the challenge is GPS’s instead of maps and something something and watch out because the ceremony has a nasty surprise. Losing team gets decapitated!

“LOL, Not an issue”

First up they have to find a bag full of coordinates and a GPS tracker to guide them to two inner tubes, a pump and of course, a map. So much for technology. Rand McNally must be the biggest sponsor this show has. Summer feels this is excellent news because a MARINE will surely know how to use a GPS tracker better than anyone. 

He’s not even very good at being aware of the camera’s location

Kenina pulls out an early lead and are working well as a team for once. Cockney shows his usual befuddlement during a task and marvels at the complicated technology. Fagin must have never let him use the iPhones he picked up. Juggy actually works as the level head in the group and I am reminded of his guinea hen drop-kick pantomime. It was shortly after he threw his guinea-catching net over the fence for Ginger to retrieve. He’s an angry cock!

Or just a tosser

Summer follows Chase one step behind as he bumbles around with the GPS. This in no way makes him nervous. His Marine training fails and he guides them the wrong way for long enough to secure a spot in last place. Summer’s losing her long, hard edge by the minute.

This apology is not the human sacrifice she is going to require

The tubes are pumped and then used to float down the river. Kenina is slogging through swamps and plunging freely into a gnarly muddy stream supposedly in the middle of a third world wilderness so I’m rooting for the piranhas to get first place. Followed closely by the leeches.

Oh, I think I see a big leech

Kenina is running strong in first place and is instructed to look for “vines with leather scrolls attached”.  Sounds harmless! Looks pointless!

What could be more simple?

The two go crashing ahead and Yanina immediately drops down two feet into quicksand! This is now my favorite challenge of the series.  I seriously think they might kill someone on this one! Ken valiantly watches her struggle and finally clambers in himself. Well it took a few seconds but if I can’t make fun of Ken then I quit. Yanina is hilarious as always and demonstrates the time-honored “use your face as a scoop” tactic.

And your ass as a decoy

She is an agile little monkey! Ken flounders around like a big dumb flounder. He is grateful for her because they are moving on and she hasn’t turned on her bossy bitchy side once this challenge! They don’t really think about the scroll they need to retrieve until they hit the other side so Ken grabs the closest one. Tall guys are useful!

Until you have to drag their corpses out of a mud pit

Now its the most bouyant pair’s turn. Cockney curses charmingly through the challenge while Juggs loses her newly acquired GPS skills and heads off in a funny direction.

“In 0 meters, turn right”

Its possible she blew out a tire and is now off balance. Cockney gives her a hand and calls her a donut! Is that affectionate?

Insert joke about losing freshness after a day, holes and/an inch of glaze, reader’s choice!