Recap: Love in the Wild: What’s Love Got To Do With It?

 They were so intent on the quicksand they missed the overhead vines and have to now basically redo the pit. Doh! Summer and Chase are now on the scene!

I smell strategy

Besides trickling a little blood into her bathwater, nothing excites Summer more than seeing her competitors in line sight. Chase wants desperately to prove his worth and comes up with a variation of the old “throw your coat over a mud puddle for your lady”. Summer comes up with a variation of the old “use a weaker man as a convenient doormat until your prince comes along”. Like any great strategy it plays to everyone’s strength and looks hilarious.

“Hgnnngghhhhh”

Again I am reminded that these little tasks are supposed to serve as verb-like similes for what each relationship would be like. Although I applaud the strategy, or frankly, someone using any strategy in this, Juggy McCock is still in the lead. At least everyone is now covered in mud! I would honestly like this show to be revamped to: a) incorporate shots into the challenges and b)  have every challenge take place in the quicksand/mud pit. It is the funniest concept they’ve had since telling Jenny McCarthy people would want to see her on TV.

“Hey, people loved me in the 80s”

They are now wading through more dubious water that I feel has to have antagonistic animals! Speaking of, they find a cave and it. is. filled. with. SCORPIONS!

You finally beat the snake pit NBC, congrats

Wtf? Can you take the stingers off those suckers? They have to enter the cave and decode a message that is covered in the little buggers and Kenina discover at a terrible time that Ken is illiterate.

It’s like an Andy Griffith episode where we discover the bully has been hiding a secret all along!

Yanina steps up and although English is not her first language she immediately figures out the message. Ken is being uncharacteristically demure at her strong leadership. I guess Jesse leaving took a lot of the fire out of him.

… and possibly a mouthful of something else

Juggy McCock show up and are not happy with creepy crawlies, but no one is freaking out. These fear challenges seems more like minor annoyances to the contestants. Juggy McCock again wins us over with Ben’s enchantingly foreign, running inner dialogue:

Oh and boobs

Now that is a winning combination. Watch her and listen to him. Just don’t mix it up or you will think Gavin Rossdale has suffered a head injury. Speaking of great strategies, Cockney actually deploys A Tactic and rubs mud on the word grid to slow down the next team, way to go!

First time he’s had to do his own rubbing since Juggs joined the team

Chase is so driven, more by burning desire to please Summer than true competitiveness, that he tosses their decoder down without even brushing off the scorpions first. Maybe he thought this was a Trap the Scorpions and Piss Them Off event.

So eager he’s failing!

So again, no one gives two hot damns about the supposedly deadly critters everywhere. In fact they give so few damns that no one is even bothered to pretend to be scared.  Also all the scorpions have weird red balls on their tails that make me think there has been some modification or nature reason they aren’t at all dangerous. Maybe the producer stationed outside the cave let them know that for the price of a nip slip per team. Juggs, of course, slipped two because she has a fan base to maintain.

“I also do private appearances”