Recap: Love in the Wild: What’s Love Got To Do With It?

This team is in trouble not because they can’t push it out on meaningless tasks but because they don’t mesh as lovers. Or at least that’s the lesson NBC would like us to realize. I’m shocked Chase didn’t bring that lesson to the table from the Marines though; you can’t serve in the trenches as a unit until you pass three featured Cosmo relationship tests after all. Don’t ask, don’t answer mostly a’s.

NBC’s take on a tight unit

Apparently after slamming around the cabin like an angry teenager, Summer chooses to sleep it off and Chase slinks out to agonize to JuggyCock about his failure in letting this celestial being down with his earthly foibles.

Did you say third-wheel?

Juggy McCock use their three days of long and wise relationship experience to laugh at the naiveté of the two super humans. Doesn’t Chase  know that success as a couple is not defined by physical or mental superiority, or even deep emotional compatibility? It only boils down to the ability to really like someone really quickly.

And if all else fails, show some more skin

The next day Cockney sets up a picnic for Juggs because the producers need shots of them somewhere other than in bed together. Juggs is worried about the evening’s twist and so doesn’t dare to let her Michelle come out. Luckily she has a suitcase brimming with synthetic materials for just such an occasion.

Someone misread the magic ratio of 0.7 to mean eyes to eyelashes

Cockney tries pretty hard to be touching and romantic which leads me to believe we are looking at likely winners. This guy just wants to lay in bed all day or take a jog around the island. He does not want to have a fake picnic and seems to have been prodded to play up the romance. Also it’s great TV to see two lovers on a remote beach in a tropical wilderness.

Pay no attention to the town behind them

Juggs demonstrates their love by writing their names in the sand. She might’ve taken a lesson from Vanessa and Jason on how to more permanently imprint their love on this desolate wasteland:

Plant > Sand

Chase has been fretting and wringing his hands all night. He has finally come up with a way to apologize for his genetic inferiority and writes a heartfelt letter to Sumemr asking her to circle “yes, no or maybe”.

There’s no one I’d rather have devour my torso than you, fair lady

Well, its more less differently pathetic than that; he has built a scavenger hunt for Summer. Awwwwww! That will only make her mad! He actually creates (some) rhyming poems and makes it reminiscent of their many, many experiences over the past few days. Like the time they talked in a hammock. Or the other time they talked in the cabin. Who can forget the fateful night they were both in the kitchen!?!?

Roses are red/violets are blue/You have used this sink before/ and I’m terrified

He sold this as “a challenge we can win”. Oh Chase. Summer thought they all were. He carries an umbrella for her and really tries to make this a great bonding moment while she stomps around in a strangely unseasonal ensemble and a begrudging willingness to play along.

A new and devastating boot camp experience

Kenina gets a reward! Man, I feel like the last reward for first place was the cable car up to the mountains and suddenly they’re back. I’m hoping there was a weekly reward but some of them were so lame the couples chose to skip them.

Like this one, back when we still had minorities on the show!