Recap: Project Runway – Fashion, Bloody Fashion

Recaps

By MrsMiaWallace | Tuesday, September 18, 2012 | 9:05 am | 30 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Project Runway, Recaps

The challenge is to create a pattern (not a textile afterall, dammit I wanted to see them using looms!) and use it in a fashion that is all somehow connected to their cultural heritage. Great for the people of accents and color but what do us white people have? I’m seventh generation American, do I make a burger and fries pattern?

God shed his grace on thee

So the workroom door opens and its family time! Everyone is squealing and crying and even Dmitry breaks down. Sonjia, Christopher, Tara Reid, Skunk and Elena get their mothers, Unibrow has his storage unit boyfriend, Blorpheus has a sister who he loves but could never design for and Dmitry has his oldest and dearest friend. I guess in Communist Russia you visit family, family does not visit you.

I love her necklace and I’m jealous knowing he has designed for her before

Everyone is looking at old photos and Dmitry has some hostage footage of his dad in Belarus where his family is being held ransom. Apparently his dad is an artist but the real money will be from Grandpa who is a “big artist”. I think that means he paints 30 foot canvases of Pussy Riot.

Skunk is emotional because he loves and depends so much on his family, especially since he was bullied so badly in school. He is just riding that public opinion roller coaster up and up and up these days. I hope there’s one spectacular bitch meltdown in store for us because I’m starting to forget what my problem with him ever was.

I think he was bullied for being Adam Lambert before there was an Adam Lambert. Kids take copyright infringement seriously.

Elena is also touching in her emotional reunion. Her mother is tiny and a good indication that lovely Elena will age well if people around her don’t murder her and toss her body off a bridge first.

I don’t think this tiny white-haired pixie is going to offer much protection

The mums and sisters and boyfriends and pals are helping out and everyone is doing well and seems more relaxed having an advocate in the room. Christopher is struggling a little since he hates working with patterns, but most are on track. Unibrow is just scribbling everywhere and Tara apparently has Polish roots she wants to draw from.  Dmitry wants to use a lot of Belarus colors to appease the kidnappers and Skunk wants to represent the time he hunted down and killed a bird in the backyard as a kid. Blorpheus likes flowers since the Indian religion has many flower symbols, and also Make it a Flower is the only trick he knows.

A fat girl in a black muumuu, I guess she’s been taking fashion advice from her brother

They break from their loved ones to shop and at Mood Blorpheus is his usual self, pooting and polluting the store with his crankypants attitude. Elena is elated and literally skipping around the store. Apparently her normal attitude is sunny and cheerful and having Mom around has rejuvenated her.

I guess it’s dad we can blame for the psychotic rages then

In the room everyone is giddy and we find out that somehow “equestrian” is a root of Skunk’s and ladybugs killed Christopher’s grandmother. Blorpheus says he is going to do something unexpected, so he’s either going to skip pleating this time or go on a diet. Dmitry is going for seperates since he was scolded last time for always creating dresses. He deadpans to us yet another talking head classic.

“Guess what people? I’m making seperates, ooooh”

Since the design has to be printed out on fabric I’m thinking this will be a slightly more leisurely challenge for once. At the end of the first day the team goes home to find dinner being served by their visiting loved one. Tara Reid’s dad came too, thinking this was Intervention. Finally.

The next day they are back in the workroom unwrapping the prints they created. Apparently that is like Christmas for a designer. Christopher keeps the Great Twin Swap going by examining every pattern in the room and explaining how they are inferior. Dmitry has a cowboy hanky, Tara has a luau skirt (I miss Hawaii!), Elena has chaotic scribbles and …. then he is finally verklempt at Unibrow’s homage to humpage.

He really went literal with the concept of “where you came from”

Skunk and Christopher compliment each other as they fuse into one. They are also both struggling with this challenge and hating their own prints and designs. They should focus and tell Sonjia to find a new shade of lipstick.

Or stop giving blowjobs to the pink panther

Tim Gunn comes in to duck-duck-goose everyone’s ego and he really out-Gunns himself by telling Blorpheus his pleated flower splotch abortion dress looks like a bunch of used tampons. LOL! Of course Tim Gunn says “an homage to a menstrual cycle”. Even when he’s crass he is all class.

“So that would make me 14 years old when I became a woman”

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MrsMiaWallace is an east coast girl with a  penchant for travel, libations and great cuisine. She is not known to turn down a mimosa or a martini and finds the transition between the two a good way to mark the passing of time since she can never remember to wear a watch. Her secret love for reality tv and addiction to Bravo have drawn her like a moth to the glittering snark of TVGasm,  where she finds there are others like her... hopefully also nursing Bloody Marys.

30 Comments

  1. 1
    Wasabipeas wasabipeas
    Posted September 18, 2012 at 10:19 am

    Sonjia’s pants were very, very similar to the pants Mondo won this challenge with back in the day. So much so that when I saw them, I wondered if seeing Mondo made her think of this style.
    And its about time Dmitry won something. The judges are blind. He really is far superior to the others on so many levels including intellectually. His comment about Gunnar’s jacket was perfect.
    I keep voting for him for fan favorite if nothing else so Elena won’t win.

  2. 2
    Wills
    Posted September 18, 2012 at 10:39 am

    Blorpheus was so downtrodden and beaten down. I almost felt bad for him…I said “Almost” I would like for Sonjia, Melissa and Dmitry to be the top three.

  3. 3
    Sugarbush Sugarbush
    Posted September 18, 2012 at 11:16 am

    Where do we sign up for the Hot Tub Party with Tim and Dmitry?

  4. 4
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted September 18, 2012 at 12:35 pm

    @MrsMiaWallace Happy birthday! And thanks for making me ROFL so much!

    My Skunk theory is he got distracted making his road to the runway clothes. And didn’t get his reality show character even picked out good. Much less done. So when we 1st saw him he was trying on his bitch muslin.

    But then real people week dumped a golden opportunity on his head. That he was smart enough to grab and run with. So he threw the bitch design out. Since it didn’t fit him good anyway.

    ( Every week the hmmm real people week and Blorph in general have been started making me go gets another m on it BTW)

    It’d surprise me if Mondo’s vision to bring back leg hair as an accessory were to catch on. Even in places where there’s a lot of people that’ve got some to grow out in the 1st place. Most of Asia would end up having to get extensions.

    I’ve also got a theory about when they bring contestants back to be a guess judge. I think they tell them to snot it up. I bet for some of them they even bring in a coach. I know some people felt like Mondo wasn’t as sweet and humble on All Stars as when he got robbed. But when did we ever see either 1 of them talk like that?

  5. 5
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted September 18, 2012 at 12:38 pm

    If I could find the edit button I’d pull the been off of where it says have been started.

  6. 6
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted September 18, 2012 at 1:08 pm

    Nooooooo! Not my little Skunk! I am SO sad. I will now have a moment of silence for the bitchy little twit who turned out to be the gentleboy/man with a heart of gold. Sigh.

    Dmitry is awesome. And finally a win!

    While Elena was skipping happily through Mood I looked out my window and discovered Florida had frozen over.

  7. 7
    blueberryPancake
    Posted September 18, 2012 at 2:04 pm

    @kthx Right on ….i think the kind skunk was the real one and the angry skunk was his “i am on a reality show i’d better bitch it up” thought process. bummed to see him go

    Dimitry is amazing …he is such an ass in an adorable way.

    I would take Melissa or Dimitry or Sanji for the win at this point….too soon to call it tho

  8. 8
    Riley
    Posted September 18, 2012 at 2:10 pm

    “I’d like to see the white hole skirt paired with the black hole blouse. Vortex overload.”

    Don’t give him any ideas!!

    I’m sad to see Skunk go. I would have liked to see Blorph go home for that one way monkey mess, but I understand why they sent Skunk home. I am looking forward to seeing Blorph try to do something different next week, though.

    Oh Dmitry…every time he’s on my TV I can’t help but smile. Glad he finally won something. I would buy his outfit.

    Elena looked so pretty with her bangs pulled back and her pink lipstick off!

    I liked Mondo in his original season and thought he should have won instead of Wretchen, but he seemed kind of full of himself this episode. And his shorts were an insult to everyone with eyes. Anya was awful – she has no right to judge anyone’s sewing skills!

  9. 9
    juddfan
    Posted September 18, 2012 at 2:31 pm

    I think it was really the week for blorph to go . . . flowers are not fashion, and he just doesn’t get it! That was a cartoon, not a pattern. I did feel slightly bad for him, only since I don’t think he can absorb anything but praise.

    Luscious, I’m glad you mentioned ironing, but any washing period (whoops, I used period) would be disaster on those stupid pleats! Good luck to him . . .

    I read Laura Bennets’ blog over one of the older episodes, and she makes it plain that you will always have to work with others, or for others, it is never just you . . . so all the ones that can’t work in teams will never make it.

    I think Christopher is the new bitch. He bugged me this episode, but then, I swear, when designers do well, the producers make them throw a challenge so it doesn’t look like they are a front runner, maybe I’m wrong, but how many different shows have you seen someone strong suddenly fail . . .

    I no longer like Mondo, but I still love some of his fashion. Ego’s are so ugly . . . and tho I don’t hate Anya as much as some of you, I did think her telling tara she could have pushed more was so stupid!!!

    Really happy to see Heidi serve it to Blorph . . . go grrrl!

  10. 10
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted September 18, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    Oh, and Mrs.Mia, I TOTES forgot to compliment you on the multiple skewerings of that talentless, self righteous, egomaniacal hack that is Anya.

    Thank you!

  11. 11
    timgunnssister timgunnssister
    Posted September 18, 2012 at 3:37 pm

    Elena’s Mom isn’t a munchkin – she was sitting on a chair. And I’m fairly certain Blorph’s sister is pregnant. With quadruplets.

    When Dmitry made that ‘separates – oooooh!’ statement with jazz hands I fell in love all over again.

    Time for Blorph to go home.

  12. 12
    Mummy Butterfly
    Posted September 18, 2012 at 4:02 pm

    I hate having former contestants as judges.

    Now – I shall make one exception – PR may bring back Dimtry every season and give him a pretty chair next to Nina’s and Heidi’s. I don’t care if he wins or not, to hear him “judge” everyone else is the highlight of my week.

    Besides, if he has already given us lines like “one way monkey” (a now common phrase at my house), how much more could he give us? I adore him. :)

  13. 13
    Adra
    Posted September 18, 2012 at 6:09 pm

    Mrs. Mia,

    Brilliant recap!!!! Every word and picture perfectly recap the episode. Very perceptive, funny and insightful all at the same time.

    I too am in love with Dimitry. If he is sent home I will be devasted.

    As for those that have commented….insightful comments as well. I agree that Gunner is the “good” one.

    Lastly, Anya…I nearly fell off the couch when I heard her ridiculous comments. Really, I don’t know how the people being judged didn’t just roll their eyes and tell her to STFU.

  14. 14
    Valleygirl
    Posted September 18, 2012 at 8:43 pm

    Aw I like Gunnar from the beginning. The beginning! My poor bby. :(

    On a happier note, go Dmitry! It’s about time.

  15. 15
    itchy itchy
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 1:13 am

    On the “this is my bathing suit” photo, the lines of Kors’ orange makeup mask are clearly visible. Hee! I think he’s been punking us all along.

    Blorpheus must have been insufferable in design school. This latest flower pleat reminded me of my eye-in-mouth avatar. And if they don’t cut him this week, I’m going to bring that avatar back.

    You’ve been warned.

  16. 16
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 1:19 am

    I was sorry to see Gunnar go too. But I don’t think he’s all that sad about it.

    He’s a 22 yr boy that learned to sew from his grandmama. Not even 100% sure yet if he wants to do clothes. And he just did Fashion Week!

    Not to mention went on a reality show and reflected good on his home training. You can look at his mom and tell she’s so proud she’s about to bust a gusset.

    He told an interview a while back he wasn’t sure what he wanted to do yet. But he did want to be 22. Which he hasn’t had much time to do. Getting ready for Project Runway. I can’t remember the exact quote. Just that it was more sensible than anything I said when I was 22!

    Since he left he’s been back in his little village. Doing hair. And using his Facebook to fill up all his slots.

  17. 17
    Jason
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 5:46 am

    Tim Gunn’s advice is basically rubbish. He’s just there to up the big gay quotient, not that it needs much upping.

    Oh, and Chris should have gone home. His clothes are heinous and he’s a wretched little whiny thing. One of these days fat, Indian-Guyanian “pakoda” Ven should sit on his face and cut the cheese.

  18. 18
    timgunnssister timgunnssister
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 7:47 am

    Tell us how you really feel, Jason.

    Oh, and don’t bad mouth my brother.

  19. 19
    Christy
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 7:49 am

    Love these recaps – you had big shoes to fill, but are doing great!

    Re: Christopher’s family – did anyone else think it got a weird edit? We really didn’t see them much, but every time we heard his mom open her mouth she sounded like she was critiquing him or making snide comments. I got the vibe that he wasn’t overly happy that she was there and perhaps she’s not the most supportive mom ever. I think it threw him off this challenge.

    Regardless – Dmitry is the best ever! I’m so glad the judges finally liked one of his amazing outfits. He should have already won so many times. “One way monkey” is a common phrase in my house now, too.

  20. 20
    NotaNJHousewife
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 9:09 am

    These judges seemed almost to deliberately withhold praise from Dimitri up to now. There were a couple of times when the win was between him and another designer, but they never even gave him so much as a “we loved your design too” as they sent him off stage. He’s so cute too, him and his nose. And I liked the shot of Elena smiling when he walked into the room after the win.

    I was was not liking Anya until she disagreed with Mondo about Dimitri’s design. As for Mondo- most of his clothes were loud, which I liked, but I don’t think he was able to appreciate the subtlety of Dimitri’s use of pattern.

    Was the print on Heidi’s dress supposed to be hair? Like chest hair? It was disturbing.

  21. 21
    itchy itchy
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 9:40 am

    Mondo’s whole schtick was mismatching patterns in order to make clown costumes no one in their right mind would ever wear. Even he wouldn’t wear his crappy clothes anymore — and that’s saying something.

  22. 22
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 9:52 am

    @NotaNJHousewife No it was supposed to give us false hopes that she’d just come from the Honey Bubu set. Rolling in oxide mud as a guest star.

  23. 23
    juddfan
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 12:44 pm

    I was wondering about the pattern on Heidi’s dress as well . . . it did look like fur, or tree bark!

    Jason, and timgunssister, HAHAHAHHAAAA!!!

  24. 24
    TalldrinkofH2O
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 6:05 pm

    I HATE how you can only vote for Fan Favorite if you have a Twitter account. I REFUSE to open a Twitter account to do that.
    So, Elena is only the fan favorite amongst those who have a Twitter account, not amongst all viewers in general.

  25. 25
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 2:20 am

    Heidi’s side-eye at Ven combined with her little whistle was my everything. It’s good to know that beneath those butt ugly clothes, she’s still the fierce bitch she’s always been.

    I’m actually sad that Gunnar went home, and kind of can’t believe that I wanted to burn him in a fire at the beginning of the season.

    And I’m so happy that Dmitry finally finally won something. Maybe the judges will start recognizing his brilliance now.

    I wonder if Ven can actually make anything besides his pleats though. If you think about it, any time he has diverged from that technique, the outcome has been total shit. He made that amish skirt and then that period disaster thing.
    This week’s episode should be hilarious. He’ll probably make something boring lol.

  26. 26
    Enrique's Mole
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 10:52 am

    @Jason – blasphemer!!!

  27. 27
    Ssarrrrah
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 3:12 pm

    I *think* the ugly lipstick on most of the female contestants this season is a L’Oreal thing. The only one who seems like she might choose those ugly colors is… Well, none of them. My guess is that since most women don’t wear bright lipstick anymore, L’Oreal is trying out a marketing ploy to bring it back with weekly one-hour lipstick commercials. I think they gave each contestant two colors: bright red and bubblegum pink. The women, except Alicia, are wearing the free lipstick on camera. The men gave it to their moms or friends. Fabio ate his.

    Go Dimitry.

  28. 28
    Ssarrrrah
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    I *think* the ugly lipstick on the female contestants this season is a L’Oreal thing. The only one who seems like she might choose those ugly colors is… well, I was going to say Elena, but no, none of them. Notice how they choose a dark or nude “lip” on their models. “Lip” LOL! Anyway, if they see vamp or nude as chic for the competition, why would they WEAR the clown colors???

    My guess is that since most women out in TV land don’t wear bright lipstick anymore, L’Oreal is trying out a marketing ploy to bring it back in style with weekly 1.5 hour lipstick commercials disguised as a reality fashion design contest. It looks like they gave each contestant two colors: bright red and bubblegum pink. The women, except Alicia, are wearing the free lipstick on camera. The men gave it to their moms or friends. Fabio probably ate his.

    Go Dimitry. He is irresistible. I didn’t see it at first, but it crept up on me and now I’m smitten.

  29. 29
    Ssarrrrah
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 3:20 pm

    I *think* the ugly lipstick on the female contestants this season is a L’Oreal thing. The only one who seems like she might choose those ugly colors is… well, I was going to say Elena, but no, none of them. Notice how they choose a dark or nude “lip” on their models. “Lip” LOL! Anyway, if they see vamp or nude as chic for the competition, why would they WEAR the clown colors???

    My guess is that since most women out in TV land don’t wear bright lipstick anymore, L’Oreal is trying out a marketing ploy to bring it back in style with weekly 1.5 hour lipstick commercials disguised as a reality fashion design contest. It looks like they gave each contestant two colors: bright red and bubblegum pink. The women, except Alicia, are wearing the free lipstick on camera. The men gave it to their moms or friends. Fabio probably ate his.

    Go Dimitry. He is irresistible. I didn’t see it at first, but it crept up on me and now I’m smitten.

  30. 30
    kloewent
    Posted September 21, 2012 at 1:26 am

    Maybe they should make Hedi wear the winning outfit everyday, it would have to be an improvement on her current wardrobe!!! I know MC is orange, but even he must see she is dressed hidiously, and Nina must be busting a gut laughing at her horrible clothes. Who the hell is dressing the poor thing???

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