Recap: Project Runway – Fashion, Bloody Fashion

Recaps

By MrsMiaWallace | Tuesday, September 18, 2012 | 9:05 am | 30 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Project Runway, Recaps

Heidi trots out to welcome the whole gang to the runway. My mother said “That is not her color”. Not sure if she meant the dress wasn’t flattering to her skin tone or her skin tone was not one found in nature.

That is also not her size

The guest judges are Mondo for reasons previously discussed, and for no reason at all, Anya from Season 9. She still has half a head of hair and since I haven’t heard of her gluing anything together lately I’m guessing she has returned to porn.

Even her teeth are attempting to evacuate the wreckage

Runway!

Sonjia- Her high-waisted patterned pants look great. I think they would be tough to pull off on a short woman or a woman with a different figure, but they are divine on that model. The shirt is really amazing too with a panel design in front and draping cowl back. I would at least own the shirt in a heartbeat, and maybe the pants as well.

Elena – Yes, she has her trademark weird shoulders, but the look is fun and fresh and has great deep pockets (I loves pocketses) and the print is funky but not overwhelming. This is Elena done right and even the model looks happy to be wearing this.

Christopher – His insecurity is visible all over his design and for once his little Lorelai Gilmore waif does not do the look any favors. Maybe she only looks good in full gowns that cover her awkward bambi legs? The dress is blah and has a giant bow thing that you would want to pull off but then it would just be a dull strapless mini. From her stilted walk to her grimace, I think maybe someone smacked her around a little before runway to get an edge. Also Chris chose an exposed zipper but it is completely askew and completes the impression of pure mess.

Blorpheus – Well. It’s a pleated, flower-print top and flower effect skirt. It is masterfully tailored and sewed and fits the model perfectly. It’s also ugly and boring at the same time and I have no clue who would ever wear these two halves together or probably even separately. I’d like to see the white hole skirt paired with the black hole blouse. Vortex overload.

Unibrow – The conception design really just comes across as an 80s squiggle design but the look is edgy and cool enough. The model’s haircut is doing a lot for the look as well and I didn’t pay enough attention during the mind-numbing hair and makeup scene to see if Unibrow actually instructed them to cut her hair. If so, she should be pissed, bowl cuts are not as universal as one would think.

Tara – Her dress is flat out beautiful. I don’t even like red and I would own it. The shoulders and back make it unique enough, but the silhouette is classic and the tailoring is beautiful. I don’t know if it’s too commercial to win this challenge, but that lush is talented!

Skunk – his jacket is boxy and terrible. It looks like something sold at an outlet store for being ill-tailored. Also the skirt and boots look very junior high schooler at the mall and the print he designed just seems like ants crawling all over a white jacket from a distance. I think I liked the jacket better before he listened to Tim Gunn and took out the black panel effect.

Dmitry – His separates are amazing. He built a nice wrap skirt and his pattern looks great and edgy but the jacket is the real work of art. I guess this is how a Russian says fuck you when you call him a one way monkey. The jacket panels look like they are floating and line up with the print in an unexpectedly perfect way. This is the kind of creativity this show was made for.

Elena and Unibrow draw the card sending them directly to Go. I would’ve liked to hear what the judges thought of Elena’s, but I am glad that Blorpheus doesn’t get to squelch and slosh off to the holding pen this time. Tara is up first and explains that the Polish flag is red and white and blood is thicker than water so she did a bloody homage to Poland. I guess the word heritage really makes creative people get literal all of a sudden.Kors is shocked to encounteris something he might sell from the tough little recovering addict, but Heidi doesn’t like the shoulders. Mondo thinks it’s good but the styling needs to be “turned up”. How eagerly the judgees becomes the judgers! Anya thinks she’s on a porn shoot and asks Sonjia to “push it more”. Collect your glue gun from the workroom and leave please.

Blorpheus is up now and I can’t wait! Heidi agrees with me about the Hawaiian (I miss Hawaii!) stewardess resemblance (and this is a reworked version!). Uh oh, my taste level is slipping. She also points out that roses and Hibiscus don’t really go together. Kors and Nina scold him for the repetitive damn pleating and fanning. Anya and Mondo go ahead and parrot previous criticisms and I will ignore them because they’re awful and Blor is awful and the awful parade cancels itself out.

Skunk is enjoying the evisceration a lot. Save that smirk for later schadenfreude.

Dmitry wows Kors who admits that this design hits every concept of any fashion challenge– design, execution, innovation, beauty, perfection, martini, love, stags mating in the forest, etc. Heidi calls it, “crazy good”, and Anya starts sqwuaking like a parrot and who cares what she says. Mondo comes out saying it’s overworked and the print is being hidden and ruining the point of the challenge. Goddamn Mondo, shut the fuck up.

I’m pretty sure this guy just called you over the top!

“You hate my work? That’s high praise indeed”

Nina has one small criticism that Dmitry is not good at styling. I think a gaudy past in ballroom dancing is to blame there but since this isn’t Project Stylathon and I love my icy Belarussian, I don’t C-A-R-E. Mondo jumps in here and obliterates my memory of his brave HIV admission.

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MrsMiaWallace is an east coast girl with a  penchant for travel, libations and great cuisine. She is not known to turn down a mimosa or a martini and finds the transition between the two a good way to mark the passing of time since she can never remember to wear a watch. Her secret love for reality tv and addiction to Bravo have drawn her like a moth to the glittering snark of TVGasm,  where she finds there are others like her... hopefully also nursing Bloody Marys.

30 Comments

  1. 1
    Wasabipeas wasabipeas
    Posted September 18, 2012 at 10:19 am

    Sonjia’s pants were very, very similar to the pants Mondo won this challenge with back in the day. So much so that when I saw them, I wondered if seeing Mondo made her think of this style.
    And its about time Dmitry won something. The judges are blind. He really is far superior to the others on so many levels including intellectually. His comment about Gunnar’s jacket was perfect.
    I keep voting for him for fan favorite if nothing else so Elena won’t win.

  2. 2
    Wills
    Posted September 18, 2012 at 10:39 am

    Blorpheus was so downtrodden and beaten down. I almost felt bad for him…I said “Almost” I would like for Sonjia, Melissa and Dmitry to be the top three.

  3. 3
    Sugarbush Sugarbush
    Posted September 18, 2012 at 11:16 am

    Where do we sign up for the Hot Tub Party with Tim and Dmitry?

  4. 4
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted September 18, 2012 at 12:35 pm

    @MrsMiaWallace Happy birthday! And thanks for making me ROFL so much!

    My Skunk theory is he got distracted making his road to the runway clothes. And didn’t get his reality show character even picked out good. Much less done. So when we 1st saw him he was trying on his bitch muslin.

    But then real people week dumped a golden opportunity on his head. That he was smart enough to grab and run with. So he threw the bitch design out. Since it didn’t fit him good anyway.

    ( Every week the hmmm real people week and Blorph in general have been started making me go gets another m on it BTW)

    It’d surprise me if Mondo’s vision to bring back leg hair as an accessory were to catch on. Even in places where there’s a lot of people that’ve got some to grow out in the 1st place. Most of Asia would end up having to get extensions.

    I’ve also got a theory about when they bring contestants back to be a guess judge. I think they tell them to snot it up. I bet for some of them they even bring in a coach. I know some people felt like Mondo wasn’t as sweet and humble on All Stars as when he got robbed. But when did we ever see either 1 of them talk like that?

  5. 5
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted September 18, 2012 at 12:38 pm

    If I could find the edit button I’d pull the been off of where it says have been started.

  6. 6
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted September 18, 2012 at 1:08 pm

    Nooooooo! Not my little Skunk! I am SO sad. I will now have a moment of silence for the bitchy little twit who turned out to be the gentleboy/man with a heart of gold. Sigh.

    Dmitry is awesome. And finally a win!

    While Elena was skipping happily through Mood I looked out my window and discovered Florida had frozen over.

  7. 7
    blueberryPancake
    Posted September 18, 2012 at 2:04 pm

    @kthx Right on ….i think the kind skunk was the real one and the angry skunk was his “i am on a reality show i’d better bitch it up” thought process. bummed to see him go

    Dimitry is amazing …he is such an ass in an adorable way.

    I would take Melissa or Dimitry or Sanji for the win at this point….too soon to call it tho

  8. 8
    Riley
    Posted September 18, 2012 at 2:10 pm

    “I’d like to see the white hole skirt paired with the black hole blouse. Vortex overload.”

    Don’t give him any ideas!!

    I’m sad to see Skunk go. I would have liked to see Blorph go home for that one way monkey mess, but I understand why they sent Skunk home. I am looking forward to seeing Blorph try to do something different next week, though.

    Oh Dmitry…every time he’s on my TV I can’t help but smile. Glad he finally won something. I would buy his outfit.

    Elena looked so pretty with her bangs pulled back and her pink lipstick off!

    I liked Mondo in his original season and thought he should have won instead of Wretchen, but he seemed kind of full of himself this episode. And his shorts were an insult to everyone with eyes. Anya was awful – she has no right to judge anyone’s sewing skills!

  9. 9
    juddfan
    Posted September 18, 2012 at 2:31 pm

    I think it was really the week for blorph to go . . . flowers are not fashion, and he just doesn’t get it! That was a cartoon, not a pattern. I did feel slightly bad for him, only since I don’t think he can absorb anything but praise.

    Luscious, I’m glad you mentioned ironing, but any washing period (whoops, I used period) would be disaster on those stupid pleats! Good luck to him . . .

    I read Laura Bennets’ blog over one of the older episodes, and she makes it plain that you will always have to work with others, or for others, it is never just you . . . so all the ones that can’t work in teams will never make it.

    I think Christopher is the new bitch. He bugged me this episode, but then, I swear, when designers do well, the producers make them throw a challenge so it doesn’t look like they are a front runner, maybe I’m wrong, but how many different shows have you seen someone strong suddenly fail . . .

    I no longer like Mondo, but I still love some of his fashion. Ego’s are so ugly . . . and tho I don’t hate Anya as much as some of you, I did think her telling tara she could have pushed more was so stupid!!!

    Really happy to see Heidi serve it to Blorph . . . go grrrl!

  10. 10
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted September 18, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    Oh, and Mrs.Mia, I TOTES forgot to compliment you on the multiple skewerings of that talentless, self righteous, egomaniacal hack that is Anya.

    Thank you!

  11. 11
    timgunnssister timgunnssister
    Posted September 18, 2012 at 3:37 pm

    Elena’s Mom isn’t a munchkin – she was sitting on a chair. And I’m fairly certain Blorph’s sister is pregnant. With quadruplets.

    When Dmitry made that ‘separates – oooooh!’ statement with jazz hands I fell in love all over again.

    Time for Blorph to go home.

  12. 12
    Mummy Butterfly
    Posted September 18, 2012 at 4:02 pm

    I hate having former contestants as judges.

    Now – I shall make one exception – PR may bring back Dimtry every season and give him a pretty chair next to Nina’s and Heidi’s. I don’t care if he wins or not, to hear him “judge” everyone else is the highlight of my week.

    Besides, if he has already given us lines like “one way monkey” (a now common phrase at my house), how much more could he give us? I adore him. :)

  13. 13
    Adra
    Posted September 18, 2012 at 6:09 pm

    Mrs. Mia,

    Brilliant recap!!!! Every word and picture perfectly recap the episode. Very perceptive, funny and insightful all at the same time.

    I too am in love with Dimitry. If he is sent home I will be devasted.

    As for those that have commented….insightful comments as well. I agree that Gunner is the “good” one.

    Lastly, Anya…I nearly fell off the couch when I heard her ridiculous comments. Really, I don’t know how the people being judged didn’t just roll their eyes and tell her to STFU.

  14. 14
    Valleygirl
    Posted September 18, 2012 at 8:43 pm

    Aw I like Gunnar from the beginning. The beginning! My poor bby. :(

    On a happier note, go Dmitry! It’s about time.

  15. 15
    itchy itchy
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 1:13 am

    On the “this is my bathing suit” photo, the lines of Kors’ orange makeup mask are clearly visible. Hee! I think he’s been punking us all along.

    Blorpheus must have been insufferable in design school. This latest flower pleat reminded me of my eye-in-mouth avatar. And if they don’t cut him this week, I’m going to bring that avatar back.

    You’ve been warned.

  16. 16
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 1:19 am

    I was sorry to see Gunnar go too. But I don’t think he’s all that sad about it.

    He’s a 22 yr boy that learned to sew from his grandmama. Not even 100% sure yet if he wants to do clothes. And he just did Fashion Week!

    Not to mention went on a reality show and reflected good on his home training. You can look at his mom and tell she’s so proud she’s about to bust a gusset.

    He told an interview a while back he wasn’t sure what he wanted to do yet. But he did want to be 22. Which he hasn’t had much time to do. Getting ready for Project Runway. I can’t remember the exact quote. Just that it was more sensible than anything I said when I was 22!

    Since he left he’s been back in his little village. Doing hair. And using his Facebook to fill up all his slots.

  17. 17
    Jason
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 5:46 am

    Tim Gunn’s advice is basically rubbish. He’s just there to up the big gay quotient, not that it needs much upping.

    Oh, and Chris should have gone home. His clothes are heinous and he’s a wretched little whiny thing. One of these days fat, Indian-Guyanian “pakoda” Ven should sit on his face and cut the cheese.

  18. 18
    timgunnssister timgunnssister
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 7:47 am

    Tell us how you really feel, Jason.

    Oh, and don’t bad mouth my brother.

  19. 19
    Christy
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 7:49 am

    Love these recaps – you had big shoes to fill, but are doing great!

    Re: Christopher’s family – did anyone else think it got a weird edit? We really didn’t see them much, but every time we heard his mom open her mouth she sounded like she was critiquing him or making snide comments. I got the vibe that he wasn’t overly happy that she was there and perhaps she’s not the most supportive mom ever. I think it threw him off this challenge.

    Regardless – Dmitry is the best ever! I’m so glad the judges finally liked one of his amazing outfits. He should have already won so many times. “One way monkey” is a common phrase in my house now, too.

  20. 20
    NotaNJHousewife
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 9:09 am

    These judges seemed almost to deliberately withhold praise from Dimitri up to now. There were a couple of times when the win was between him and another designer, but they never even gave him so much as a “we loved your design too” as they sent him off stage. He’s so cute too, him and his nose. And I liked the shot of Elena smiling when he walked into the room after the win.

    I was was not liking Anya until she disagreed with Mondo about Dimitri’s design. As for Mondo- most of his clothes were loud, which I liked, but I don’t think he was able to appreciate the subtlety of Dimitri’s use of pattern.

    Was the print on Heidi’s dress supposed to be hair? Like chest hair? It was disturbing.

  21. 21
    itchy itchy
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 9:40 am

    Mondo’s whole schtick was mismatching patterns in order to make clown costumes no one in their right mind would ever wear. Even he wouldn’t wear his crappy clothes anymore — and that’s saying something.

  22. 22
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 9:52 am

    @NotaNJHousewife No it was supposed to give us false hopes that she’d just come from the Honey Bubu set. Rolling in oxide mud as a guest star.

  23. 23
    juddfan
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 12:44 pm

    I was wondering about the pattern on Heidi’s dress as well . . . it did look like fur, or tree bark!

    Jason, and timgunssister, HAHAHAHHAAAA!!!

  24. 24
    TalldrinkofH2O
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 6:05 pm

    I HATE how you can only vote for Fan Favorite if you have a Twitter account. I REFUSE to open a Twitter account to do that.
    So, Elena is only the fan favorite amongst those who have a Twitter account, not amongst all viewers in general.

  25. 25
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 2:20 am

    Heidi’s side-eye at Ven combined with her little whistle was my everything. It’s good to know that beneath those butt ugly clothes, she’s still the fierce bitch she’s always been.

    I’m actually sad that Gunnar went home, and kind of can’t believe that I wanted to burn him in a fire at the beginning of the season.

    And I’m so happy that Dmitry finally finally won something. Maybe the judges will start recognizing his brilliance now.

    I wonder if Ven can actually make anything besides his pleats though. If you think about it, any time he has diverged from that technique, the outcome has been total shit. He made that amish skirt and then that period disaster thing.
    This week’s episode should be hilarious. He’ll probably make something boring lol.

  26. 26
    Enrique's Mole
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 10:52 am

    @Jason – blasphemer!!!

  27. 27
    Ssarrrrah
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 3:12 pm

    I *think* the ugly lipstick on most of the female contestants this season is a L’Oreal thing. The only one who seems like she might choose those ugly colors is… Well, none of them. My guess is that since most women don’t wear bright lipstick anymore, L’Oreal is trying out a marketing ploy to bring it back with weekly one-hour lipstick commercials. I think they gave each contestant two colors: bright red and bubblegum pink. The women, except Alicia, are wearing the free lipstick on camera. The men gave it to their moms or friends. Fabio ate his.

    Go Dimitry.

  28. 28
    Ssarrrrah
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    I *think* the ugly lipstick on the female contestants this season is a L’Oreal thing. The only one who seems like she might choose those ugly colors is… well, I was going to say Elena, but no, none of them. Notice how they choose a dark or nude “lip” on their models. “Lip” LOL! Anyway, if they see vamp or nude as chic for the competition, why would they WEAR the clown colors???

    My guess is that since most women out in TV land don’t wear bright lipstick anymore, L’Oreal is trying out a marketing ploy to bring it back in style with weekly 1.5 hour lipstick commercials disguised as a reality fashion design contest. It looks like they gave each contestant two colors: bright red and bubblegum pink. The women, except Alicia, are wearing the free lipstick on camera. The men gave it to their moms or friends. Fabio probably ate his.

    Go Dimitry. He is irresistible. I didn’t see it at first, but it crept up on me and now I’m smitten.

  29. 29
    Ssarrrrah
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 3:20 pm

    I *think* the ugly lipstick on the female contestants this season is a L’Oreal thing. The only one who seems like she might choose those ugly colors is… well, I was going to say Elena, but no, none of them. Notice how they choose a dark or nude “lip” on their models. “Lip” LOL! Anyway, if they see vamp or nude as chic for the competition, why would they WEAR the clown colors???

    My guess is that since most women out in TV land don’t wear bright lipstick anymore, L’Oreal is trying out a marketing ploy to bring it back in style with weekly 1.5 hour lipstick commercials disguised as a reality fashion design contest. It looks like they gave each contestant two colors: bright red and bubblegum pink. The women, except Alicia, are wearing the free lipstick on camera. The men gave it to their moms or friends. Fabio probably ate his.

    Go Dimitry. He is irresistible. I didn’t see it at first, but it crept up on me and now I’m smitten.

  30. 30
    kloewent
    Posted September 21, 2012 at 1:26 am

    Maybe they should make Hedi wear the winning outfit everyday, it would have to be an improvement on her current wardrobe!!! I know MC is orange, but even he must see she is dressed hidiously, and Nina must be busting a gut laughing at her horrible clothes. Who the hell is dressing the poor thing???

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