Bad episode. Bad! You promised me a couple’s meltdown and a drag queen showdown, and what did I get? A hot tranny mess in a 10-year-old club and some bitchy dude in a dress complaining about a night s/he clearly can’t remember properly.
Previously: Lea didn’t crawl far enough up Lisa’s bottom the three times they’ve met, so Lisa thinks Lea’s the devil. Romain and Joanna discussed marriage, but it’s clear to everyone but her that that ship has sailed. Adriana avoided her own impending nuptials in favor of stirring the pot between Ana and Karent. I gotta say, I didn’t think I’d enjoy Miami, but the naked shitstirring these educated and accomplished women engage in is phenomenal. Consider me hooked, Bravs.
This episode blew, though. Onto the recap. Romain and Joanna are playing around in bed, or rather, Joanna is tryin’ to get some and Romain is trying to work. She gets on top of him and bugs him until she realizes he’s way more interested in his Blackberry than a supermodel. She stalks off in one of those weird lingerie swimsuits to find Marta, not giving a thought to the fact that her man is clearly getting a piece on the side if he’d turn down her unassailably gorgeous ass.
She’s stunning. Even I can’t snark that away from her.
Joanna interviews that the couple is going through a rough time, but they love each other so they’re both committed to working it out. At least she is. Marta’s in the bathroom and brings up Lisa’s logical and appropriate suggestion that Marta move out. Joanna’s all, “You’re MY sister not HER sister!” but Marta’s miserable and thinks it’s for the best. Joanna can’t get her head out of her own ass to see this situation as anything other than a poor reflection on herself, regardless of the fact that Marta keeps saying it has to do with Romain. Joanna interviews that her sister and her fiancé have been butting heads worse than usual lately, but that Romain’s just stressed. DUH. So get your sister out of his living room so he can have some damn space. You can have playdates at Lisa’s house. Or maybe getting rid of Marta means getting rid of the only thing standing in the way of Romain and Joanna sorting out their relationship. Houseguests make for pretty good distractions.
Onto Karent, she heads into work to Skype with her boyfriend, whom she describes as a Latin soap star AND an actor, because never the twain shall meet. He’s also a dumbass – I know this because right after saying he’s muy cansada, he asks Karent what happened after he left the party. Let that be a lesson to us all: don’t Skype jelagged! You’ll end up in a situation that’ll make you want to extract your own teeth.