Commercial. Still Day 3, and they’re in a rainstorm. For the millionth time, we hear that Kody is exhausted and “trying to make it so I can ride with every single wife”. Ride with or just ride?
Despite their lateness and the fact that it’s a completely low-rent and uninteresting place, Meri has arranged a stop at Truckhenge. It’s a place run by Ron Lessman. Apparently the city came to his place, found all the trucks he had on his property, and told him he couldn’t have them on the ground. So he “picked them up” (demonstrated accompanied by him flipping the bird) and put the trucks on one end. Kody says he loves “farmer style hoarding. It’s the best, man”. On the couch, Christine says she didn’t like Truckhenge, and Kody calls her a princess.
Later, at the Pony Express RV Park (grandiose much?), Kody learns the hotel is 12 miles away. Another win for Meri! He storms over to Meri and tells her he’s “not leaving early tomorrow”. Or any day, Kody. Meri responds he doesn’t have to bark at her. There’s an adult meeting and Kody again reiterates that he needs sleep. So why doesn’t he, oh, sleep? Christine says he’s the only one complaining. Then Kody calls everyone together to pray, presumably before he decks Meri and/or Christine.
Apparently the Spirit of Jackie Gleason speaks to Kody, too.
Commercial. Day 4. And no, they’re not in Nauvoo. They’re in Mark Twain’s hometown, Hannibal, Missouri.
You can get a “Twainiac” membership to his house/museum. For reals.
The family goes to the Twain house and meets with Henry Sweets, the curator. Kody says Twain talks about having gone through Utah. Sweets then reads from Twain’s account of that trip: “Mormon women, these poor, ungainly and pathetically homely creatures. The man who marries one of them has done a deed of Christian charity, and the man who marries 60 of them has done a deed of open-hearted generosity so sublime” that he should be worshipped. Meri and Mariah find that amusing, while Robyn is fuming. On the couch, the kids observe “everyone was ugly back then”. Bighearted Kody says he’s not offended, and then badmouths Twain.
I’ve got an idea for a new book: “A Nevada Douchebag in 4 Women’s Pants”.
Finally! Maybe Day 4, maybe Day 5, maybe Day 20 – they’re in Nauvoo. They check into the Hyrum Smith homestead. Christine and Robyn are excited to be there, while Kody proclaims that the “spirit of Joseph Smith speaks to me”.
That’s just a microphone behind his painting, Kody.
The family meets with Joseph Johnston, who offers Nauvoo tours. As I mentioned in the minicap, this popular site is completely deserted while the Browns are there. It’s like a ghost town. Also, they don’t seem to go into any places. The Nauvoo website lists a number of historical buildings, but the Browns just seem to have their tour outside a couple of buildings. Later in the episode, we hear that they were denied admission to the museum for being pligs. I wonder if that was the case with all the other buildings?
Hey, Browns: Here’s the Celestial Room in the Nauvoo Temple. Which you of course didn’t see.