Recap: Sister Wives: For Time and Eternity

Sister Wives

By PennyDreadful | Tuesday, December 25, 2012 | 8:15 pm | 10 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, Sister Wives

Before the tour, there’s great comment on Joseph’s long and shiny hair.  Is Kody jealous, the wives wonder?  The level of discourse on this show is so elevated, isn’t it?

Commercial.  Theology major Robyn explains because their religion (well, not “religion”:  “unauthorized heretical offshoot”) holds on to Joseph Smith’s teachings as originally revealed, “sometimes people talk about the early teachings in a vague way, which is discouraging because we want to explain why we do what we do to our kids”.  So on with the polygamy references then.  Kody comes right out and tells Joseph “you don’t have to whitewash polygamy”.  All righty, although I’m not aware polygamy can be whitewashed.

Joseph then brings them what looks like a driveway intersecting with a road.  He says that one day Hyrum Smith was out walking and ran into Brigham Young.  Smith said he knew that his brother was telling Young things he wasn’t telling Hyrum, and asks Young to tell him the secret teachings.  Young obliges by explaining polygamy.  Hyrum then goes to his brother and urges him to write down the revelation.  It’s here, if you’re interested.  And it’s a doozy.   In brief:  Smith and other Mormon men get “sealed” to as many wives as they want, Smith’s wife is specifically told she has to put up with it, and adultery pretty much ceases to exist. 

Gentlemen!  I have a great new “revelation” about how we can get all the ass we want and our wives can’t say a word!

Now the adults and Joseph are sitting at a picnic table.  That was a short tour!  Kody asks Joseph if people ask about polygamy.  In Nauvoo?  That’s just crazy talk.  Joseph says it’s the first thing they ask, how many wives did Joseph Smith have?  Apparently 33.  Kody’s response is to observe it must be a challenge with that large a family.  Joseph goes on to say that 12 of those women were already married when Smith married them.  Kody asks if they were just “sealed”, and Joseph makes it clear, no they were full wives to Smith and their original husbands.  Robyn says “brother husbands!”  On the couch, Kody says “historians” disagree on whether they were fully Smith’s wives or it was “symbolic to give a blessing in the next life”. Let’s ask Smith’s wife, Emma:

Thought so.

Janelle then says that her testimony does not hinge on Smith’s actions.  “He’s not Jesus.  He’s a guy”.  This is nonsensical.  Her testimony is of polygamy, which directly hinges on and stems from Smith’s actions.  You can’t have it both ways, Janelle!

Commercial.

We return to the location of the Nauvoo Expositor, which was a paper in Smith’s time.  The paper printed that Smith and the Mormons were polygamists and then, according to Joseph, “was destroyed”.  Yeah, on the orders (and likely with participation) of Joseph Smith. 

Joseph goes on to say that a 22-year-old man standing across the street watching the destruction was William Adams.  This is Meri’s great-great-great grandfather.  Descended from a guy who watched wanton lawlessness without trying to stop it?  I’d be proud too!

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Named for lurid serialized stories (so like today's reality TV) that sold for a penny a copy in Victorian Britain, former National Spelling Bee finalist and multiple Science Fair award winner PennyDreadful has been writing for TVGasm since 2011, and cites MST3K as inspiration.

Follow PennyDreadful on Twitter at @kcvinweho.

 

10 Comments

  1. 1
    sal
    Posted December 26, 2012 at 2:03 pm

    Thank you for writing this during the holidays. I appreciated it and enjoyed reading it.

  2. 2
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted December 26, 2012 at 2:57 pm

    @PennyDreadful Your recaps always make me ROFL. Even when the show’s depressing. But they’re also a safe place for people that just watched an episode of this show to come get a reality check. That we don’t need to adjust our monitor. Because they really did say/wear/do that.

    This wk it was a 1500 mile road trip with 2 RVs worth of kids. Not to mention the dysfunctional swives and a bonus sister in law.

    The only good way to plan that is to plan to do something else. Like stay home and make a life size Joseph Smith Death Scene diorama out of construction paper.

    When Bozo said that about a lot of factors slowing them down I couldn’t help but think yeah – 9000 people. Plus your whiny ass.

    I know people have been talking about Meri being bitchier this season. But I’ve started wondering if it could be a good sign. That’s she’s finally getting tuned up to bail. Because of stuff like his little crack about how she should have a baby so she’d get to stay in the hotel.

    If he says stuff like that on tv we don’t want to know what comes out of his mouth when the camera’s off.

    On the positive side it looks like next week they might shave his wig off.

  3. 3
    Chicken Lips
    Posted December 26, 2012 at 9:54 pm

    I’m at my parents for the holidays and my family watched this episode with me. My dad wanted to know why they were denied admission to the museum because who cares if they are polygamists? I pointed out that 1) Mormons are real touchy about polygamy and 2) it was probably more about keeping the “Hey camera, look at me! I’m a polyg!” circus out of the museum. Dad also wanted to know how they were able to afford renting two RVs, stay in hotels and take this huge trip – I told him all about the quality sterling silver jewelry they sell online, and I almost got through it with a straight face!

    Now, when they were talking about Robin’s whatever, I at first thought she said John Sullivan Fullmer because most times you can’t understand half of what she is saying because her lips are permanently affixed to Kody’s ass. But then she was all, “That’s who Soloman is named after!”, so then I was wondering if she said John “Soloman” Fullmer. And by the way, shut up Robin.

  4. 4
    jp
    Posted December 27, 2012 at 9:05 am

    PennyDreadful you are quite studied up on the details in this one! I liked it. Especially the photos of their ancestors that actually look alot like them!

    Kody HAD to have been PMSing for acting like that on a trip! Or like a little kid that needs a nap but refuses to take on, not sure.

    @kthxbai ah about the “you should have a baby” thing to Meri… I couldnt believe I heard that come out of his mouth!

  5. 5
    sheesh sheesh
    Posted December 27, 2012 at 9:43 am

    @jp…I can believe it came out his mouth.
    He’s not called “Kodoofus” for nothing.

  6. 6
    Hops
    Posted December 27, 2012 at 11:42 am

    Love the recap.

  7. 7
    sweetblondie
    Posted December 27, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    I’m loving Christine more and more every episode. She really seems to be gaining some self-esteem and calling Kody out more and more…LOVED the giggle regarding their tour guides hair and that this might be a problem for Kody! :)

    She’s a growing a pair and it looks good on her IMO!

  8. 8
    realitytvjunkie
    Posted December 28, 2012 at 12:25 pm

    This was an interesting episode. I was most impressed at how well those kids were behaved while they were getting the lectures from tour guide Jesus. My kids would have been like “BORING!” and would have been 50 shades of crazy.

    Looking at the previews for the next episode…OMG…MERI…her and this house budget is ON MY NERVES. I’m sorry, the other wives should be PISSED. She has one kid who will be out of the house soon. Mariah is I’m sure headed right back to UT as soon as she is able to hunker down with a hubby and some sw’s. If I have to hear about her and her STUPID WET BAR one more time I may scream. What frustrates me is if they would just say “well, as a family we often have kids all over the houses” then I can see everyone needing equal space. But they’ve never said that. She shouldn’t get the same budget. Period. And if she thinks so, she’s an asshole.

  9. 9
    sal
    Posted December 29, 2012 at 10:51 am

    I have not watched all of the seasons, but my understanding of polygamy is life together (sharing houses, and etc.), and not life apart. I feel the four houses make them neighbors, not sister wives.

  10. 10
    Kimmi Paul
    Posted December 29, 2012 at 5:04 pm

    I’ve said before here that the only reason that there is no longer polygamy in the Mormon church is the federal government told them Utah will never be let into the union if that was still part of their doctrine. Lo and behold the elders had a revelation about no more polygamy and the following year Utah was made a state. So truth be told the Browns are practicing the religion as it was meant to be.

    That being said, @Sal is right. They are not truly Sister Wives at this point but a bunch of baby mamas. If you cannot have all your wives under one roof without bloodshed then you aren’t living by the tenets of your faith. But personally I think they’ve been making the shit up as they go along for a couple of years now. You cannot expect your kids to follow your faith when you don’t.

    Oh and Kody….you are truly an ass. They are too nice to you. If you were my husband I would have told you to kiss my ass a looooong time ago.

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