Revenge Recap: Felonious Sapphic Blondes

Revenge

By Foggywood | Wednesday, November 14, 2012 | 3:58 pm | 3 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, Revenge


This came up on Youtube for “Felonious Sapphic Blondes”.  Seems about right.

 REVENGE works best when it keeps it simple.  The Graysons ruined Amanda Clarke’s life and she is going to ruin their lives. Unfortunately it takes more story to round out multiple seasons of an hour long drama than one woman fighting one family.  Thus we are introduced to the Stowaways, Padma, Emily’s bikini waxer – you get the idea.  

 While “Penance” still quickly featured skeevy Kenny and introduced his revenge seeking brother Nate (full disclosure – Michael Trucco and I went to college together – Go Broncos!) for the most part the show stuck to the basics.  REVENGE is a dish best served simple.
 
Leaving on a Jet Plane
 
Kara is sad. Her Initiative-related husband is dead, her Grayson-sponsored accommodations are uncomfortable, and her medication is, well, missing. Needless to say, her head ain’t right and she has booked a flight out of town. Victoria volunteers to pay because – HA! – of course she does.
However Kara doesn’t get away that cleanly because first she needs to break out the crazy and let her chemically imbalanced flag fly one last time! And just when the crew figured out how to light her face so she looked pretty – now that’s a shame.
Mason, in a seeming act of kindness after seeing her suicide scars, tells Kara that David did not in fact betray her (although he did through his affair with Vic, right?) and that the Graysons framed him and were responsible for his death. Emily, listening on her remote feed knows this is not a good revelation and after Kara misses her flight, she knows that Kara has returned to Grayson Manor – for REVENGE!  Like mother, like daughter! 
Kara stealthly captures Conrad and then Victoria through the course of the investor’s meeting because it is as good a time as any, right? BTW – who’s brilliant idea was it to give Kara the codes for the alarm system?  Maybe the maid saw an opportunity to escape?
Hey Kara, there’s an open bar downstairs!
 
Kara gets both Vic and Conrad on their knees and is about to shoot them in fairly brutal execution style when Aiden comes in to save them. Kara is promptly knocked out with the chloroform meant for Miss Initiative, taken away and delivered to Emily, given her meds, and shuffled out of town. Meh. Kinda anticlimactic, huh? She will be back at some point, but the whole story ended up being kind of a wash. Seems like JJL’s 6 episodes were up and she was out of there. Oh well. Lose your meds and return with a better plan, Kara!
 
Daniel’s Power Play
 
So our little Daniel is growing up, hmm? Amazing what a little backbone and initiative (ha, see what I did there?) will do for a character, hmm? Some of these other guys ought to do the same, hmm? (Jack, perhaps?) Anyway, Daniel and Aiden have been planning this coup to oust Conrad and it will all happen at the aforementioned investor’s meeting happening at Grayson Manor. Warning! Warning! Grayson event! Grayson event! Be sure to make sure your health insurance hasn’t lapsed and that the family plot has room!
 
“Thank you all for being brave enough to step foot in this house of horrors.”
 
But amazingly no ambulances or even police were called, although a double execution was just barely avoided. Rather Conrad was figuratively drawn and quartered by his darling boy, Daniel. He and Aiden secured the canceled check from Nolan proving NolCorp received an investment from Grayson via David Clarke (more on that later) which doubles the value of the Grayson empire – something Conrad knew nothing about. Miss Initiative 2012 seemed particularly pleased by Conrad’s overthrow.  Jeez, Conrad – what did you do to her?  She really enjoys seeing you squirm.
 
Where is he?  Lemme at him!  Lemme at him!
 
The question is what will little Danny Boy and his new pal Aiden do with the power? How will this affect the Grayson Family dynamic? Will Victoria end up on the chosen side of the divide? And what punishment will Ashley receive for betraying Conrad. Oooo, he’s gonna be mad!  Wonder if Ashley has a green card or if that’s part of the plan for landing Daniel?  Deportment?
 
Noble Nolan
 
He will risk it all for the woman he loves…wait who are we talking about?
 
Nolan is having a rough time of it. His company is being audited (still? we think?), his girlfriend kinda sorta betrayed his trust, his platonic girlfriend/sister/BFF seems to have replaced him with some tall handsome dude, and now the Grayson empire is claiming a stake in NolCorp. Waaa, waaaa. Bum. Mer.
Yet somehow Nolan came through this episode like a trooper. He had some amazing lines (“This one time – at Revenge camp” Hee.), looked dashing, and proved his loyalty to the Clarkes (both Em and David) by risking his company when he handed over the investment check given to him by David Clarke.
Not sure if Nolan was hoping the investment money would never be discovered or was trying to hide the fact David gave him the money, but in any case he was admirably upfront about it without any drama.
Padma showed up at the end when she cut herself on the glass from Nolan’s framed investment check. She bled (weird, right?), she claimed to still be interested even if Nolan lost it all, and was pretty cute overall. We still have to wait and see how she will be forced to prove herself to Nolan because he will definitely have something up his sleeve. But for now she can stay.
 
The Stowaways
 
Only in the commercial, you guys – sorry!
 
As previously mentioned, we were light on the Stowaways this week! No Declan whatsoever! Heard Eric will be back on Gossip Girl before the end of the season (with Jenny – OMG!) so perhaps he was filming on the Upper East Side. Perhaps Charlotte went with – she would actually fit right in.
We had a quick scene with Kenny, his brother, and Jack. Brother Nate promised Jack that Kenny would be making him a lot of money. Obviously there will be more to this story but the takeaway here is that Jack looked very excited at the prospect of making some dough – especially after Amanda told him about her dream wedding featuring a dress by Narciso Rodriguez (who hilariously just introduced a specialty line at Kohl’s – Target’s rival. Give the gift of Revenge! HAHAHAHA!). Poor (literally and otherwise) Jack.
There is a hint of the future when Amanda later changes her wedding plan by saying she just wants a simple wedding with a few friends on the boat named after her. Will the boat go down during their wedding? Oh God – more tragedy for Jack coming right up!
Amanda was charmingly feisty this week. She put out the call for her dream wedding and dream dress (modeled after Carolyn Bessette’s which…Yikes! We all know how that turned out – right?) and proved that you do not mess with a girl from the wrong side of the tracks and her newfound happiness. As promised she took the Mason situation into her own hands and was about to do the old bitch in when Ems stopped her from fire pokering him to death. (That’s 3 averted murders this week) Loved it.
As they say – she’ll cut a bitch – or poke a bitch as the case may be.
 
Oh no, you di’int! 
 
Mason Tread Ne’er Do Well
 
Mason, Mason, Mason. You should have stuck with the Conrad/Victoria story rather than expanding into Clarke territory. “Felonious sapphic blondes” is an amazing title for, well, anything but you were never going to get away with pointing the finger at either of the Amandas.
Mason thought he had it figured out when he came up with the idea that Em and Amanda were lovers in juvie. HAHAHAHA! Loved Ems’ response to that accusation – as though she was about to burst out laughing. The laughing stopped though when Amanda nearly poked Mason for his meddling (and bringing up Amanda’s previous murder of the private eye Frank – how rude!) and Ems was forced to admit she in fact is the real Amanda.
Sorry Mason – you didn’t stand a chance
 
At the end of the hour Mason had his story, just not how he might have wanted it. He confessed to the murder of Gordon “Whitey” Murphy and the framing of Conrad “Lizard Man” Grayson in exchange for the right to eventually release the tell all book of Amanda “Emily Schizo Thorne” Clarke. So he’ll have a best seller in 10 – 15?  Got all that? Good.
So another amusing key character is shuffled off and will surely return at a later date to cause trouble. Have fun in prison, Mason!
 
Victoria and Conrad – These Two Really Do Deserve Eachother
 
This should be their Christmas card
 
Simply, the power shifted this week and these two had to go with the flow of the current. Conrad was ousted by his son, Victoria chose to align with her son, they both were blindfolded and nearly shot, another party had a bizarro bummer finale. These two need a vacation from the Hamptons.  
 
Emily – Caught in Her Own Game?
 
Emily is not in control of her own game any longer. Yes, she is still able to shuffle the deck in such a way that she is dealt a winning hand, but there is more than one deck being played. Thankfully she played it smart by keeping her game simple and concise this week.
She dispensed of Mason and Mama, kept Daniel at arms length (there is something happening there in the future, don’t you think.  He gives her that puppy look every scene together), kept Amanda in line, and was given a HUGE gift by her true main man Nolan. OH! And she finally put down her guard long enough to get all smoochy and “nudge nudge wink wink” with Aiden. Let’s face it – the girl needed a little, um, release.
Finally, jeez! 
 
So that sums up the week in Penance.  What did you guys think?  What were your favorite moments?  Were you happy to see less of the Stowaways?  Less of Padma?  Less of the various complications?  Will the Amanda go down on Jack and Amanda’s wedding day?  Will Kara pop up anytime soon?  Have you ever caught “Felonious Sapphic Blondes” on Cinemax?  
 
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Foggywood
About

Jonathan Mallen grew up in San Francisco, went to college at Santa Clara University, and has spent the bulk of his youth living and dying in LA.  

Don't worry, mostly living.  

He has worked as an actor, teacher, limo driver, waiter, personal assistant, office assistant,  script reader, retail associate, stylist...the list goes on and on.

He is very happy to add BLOGGER to his illustrious resume.

3 Comments

  1. 1
    thisbuggs4u
    Posted November 14, 2012 at 5:15 pm

    Emily Van Camp and the Actor that plays Dainel were/are dating, so I can see where the puppy dog looks are coming from. Not sure how to turn off those feelings…But Yeah I can see them getting back together on the show. :) I still think that Ashley is in on the Grayson scheme some how.

    Loved Nolan, and his \ this one time at Revenge Camp\ LOL’d at that….

    What the hell was with the Target Commercials? Were they in last week too? Cause I watched the episode on demand from last week, but watched live this week. make sense?

  2. 2
    April
    Posted November 15, 2012 at 6:04 am

    I also predict Ems and Daniel getting back together.

  3. 3
    ellemenop
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 10:00 pm

    those commercials were so freakin’ annoying. i see how they kind-of forced the audience to keep watching them at each break rather than walk away or changing the channel (so, forced to watch the commercial every time) but … ugh.

    i think charlotte is too nice to fit in with the gossip girl crowd. and too naive.

    i, too, want to know just how krazy kara obtained the security codes! is she a lot shiftier than we think?

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