Revolution Episode Recap: Welcome to Soul Train with Don Cornelius

When we last hung out with these knuckleheads:
-This show jumped the shark
-Dr. Mom died.
-Danny was being scheduled for a little forced dentistry.
-”Nate” is a stalker.
-Miles is shackled to Charlie for the foreseeable future.
-Rachel likes to doodle.
-Ben and Grace were both “algebra teachers.” (I always suspected MY Algebra teacher was out for World Domination too… although I think he wound up in jail for being a perv.)

This week opens at Noblesville Militia Fight Club.

Bob had bitch tits

Although we can’t talk about it…because that’s the FIRST rule of Fight Club, duh. 

It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.

Neville is practicing kicking ass, and decided to use Danny as a punching bag. While Danny stands there, blank look on his face, doing nothing- so same look as always- Neville belts him twice. Danny, finally, hits him back- getting a couple of good shots in- but Neville puts his lights out.

I’m gonna need you to go ahead and pack up your desk…

Flashback to afternoon of BO- Neville is in his boss’s office getting his kiester handed to him. Neville, it seems, has, kind heartedly, allowed an insurance claim that he should not have… and gets sh*t-canned.

Back to the NOW and the gang of misfits, Dr Mom has been buried.

They bured Dr. Mom right next to The Fonz on his waterskis

Charlie and Aaron are upset. Miles wants to move on, but Nora is like- relax, dude- Charlie needs to say goodbye. Miles argues that “Moping around won’t help and it won’t get Danny back- it’s just a body in the ground.” Yeah, good point, but give Charlie a sec to say goodbye to a woman that was like a mother to her. Miles, apparently, was raised by wolves… or maybe my mother in law, may she rest in peace.

The gang walks through the same freaking woods they walk through on every episode and they hear a train whistle. Charlie has no idea what the sound is- and why would she? (Which brings up a good point- steam trains don’t rely on electricity. How come it took 15 years for these jackholes to figure it out?) Miles says “You have gotta be kidding. This could be bad. Real bad.”

Cut to train-side, Neville is yelling at one of the workers telling him to get the train moving, pronto.

The action shifts to Philadelphia, PA, and Monroe is, again, speaking to Rachel, “Good news. Your son is boarding a train and will be here soon.”

Why are you bringing THAT idiot here?