RHOA Recap: Booty Brawl

22 Comments

1. 1
   Pari
   Posted January 24, 2013 at 6:27 am

   I’m soooo on Phaedra’s side! Kenya is a biter (and she knew exactly what that meant) and she’s shady. I don’t understand how NeNe and Cynthia could rationally be on Kenya’s side about it. She is taking her idea and just changing it to a different animal.

   I’ll admit Kenya has the better overall body, but Phaedra’s butt looks so much better. Kenya’s looks like she went to a transsexual in Florida and got concrete put into it. But other than her ass she’s hot.

2. 2
   Classy Drunk
   Posted January 24, 2013 at 6:50 am

   ok…Donkey has been the terminology for big ole butt for at least 20 years here in the south. The girls have openly used the term for at least 3 seasons and now when Kenya comes in and says “stallion booty” everyone is all yeah I’d rather have a stallion booty. There was even a song in recent years called “she gotta donk” which is again short for donkey.

   A couple of things about that…like Phaedra said, a stallion is a male. Also when men says “she’s built like a stallion” they are normally talking about thighs and legs.

   Kenya knows she was wrong for stealing the idea and she could have easily done a full body workout and things would have been ok. I don’t hear She by Sharee crying about the donkey booty workout even though Sharee was going to do a workout video herself. Those are two different markets but to both focus on the booty…now those are the same thing.

   And is the sex toy industry really that specialized?!?!!?

   I thought I was the only one who was going to notice that Kandi was cheating on her stylist. But it seemed staged because he only flat ironed her hair. No wash, tighten, blowout just a press and it didn’t look much different from when she came in. You absolutely can NOT cheat on your stylist. It’s just not done.

   I almost started to like NeNe again and she blew it just that quick at the fashion show.

   FYI Boogie…Apollo is like 5’7 maybe.

3. 3
   eyediosmio
   Posted January 24, 2013 at 7:02 am

   Okay, is it just me or when you hear “Stallion” do you think of a gigantic horse penis? Just me? Okay then.

   Because a Stallion is MALE, so why WHY would I want to work out to a “Stallion” video? I mean, donkey booty is out for me, but isn’t the great phrase “Badonkadonk” came from? Right?

   Whatever, Kenya is pathological.

4. 4
   NotWithoutMyTV
   Posted January 24, 2013 at 9:02 am

   Parents who name their kids things like “Bri’Asia” should realize that they are giving future employers reason to prequalify their child. And I’m not talking just race–if I were hiring, and a candidate’s was sporting a name like Bri’Asia, I could automatically assume “asshole”. Because in all likelihood, the candidate’s parents were assholes to think the name was a good idea, and the kid was probably raised to be an asshole, and by adulthood, they’d either be totally grooving on the idea of being named Bri’Asia and getting all kinds of undeserved attention for it (and being an asshole as a result), or they’d be bitter about their stupid name and their stupid parents (and being an asshole as a result.)

   I also don’t get the “donkey” and “stallion” booty thing. When Phaedra first started it, I figured it was just more of her nonsensical bullshit. Now, not only have I come to really despise the word “booty”, we have these two stupid adjectives to go along with it. Are these real descriptors in actual use in some urban demographics, or just some dumb shit Bravo is trying to make happen?

   We aren’t Eskimos, who need 26 different words for snow. They’re assess. And a chick’s either got a big, fat ass, or she doesn’t. I say we let the airlines be judges, and not get into a whole “fat” vs. “phat”, or “morbid obesity” vs. “badonkadonk”, cultural thing. If Southwest airlines wants you to buy a seat for you and another one for your ass, then cut back on the frozen Snickers bars, hoss. You’re not desirable, you’re obese.

5. 5
   NotWithoutMyTV
   Posted January 24, 2013 at 9:09 am

   And yes, I really am this white. My parents were total honkies. I am painfully and hopelessly caucasian. I am the poster child for Melatonin Deficiency.

6. 6
   kdognatl
   Posted January 24, 2013 at 9:22 am

   On team Phaedra, can not stand Kenya. Don’t find her entertaining in the least. @NWMTV you whole thing on Bri’Asia, hilarious! And L Boog the line about her name on the SAT, I almost fell out of my chair

   @Classy, was just telling some girlfriends at dinner that Nene was trying to make me like her again, but I just couldn’t trust her. And totally agree with what you said, she proved she hasn’t earned my like from this past episode, blog and endorsement of so called ms. fabulous. And L Boogie, you know Peter is auditioning to be a housewife…..

7. 7
   Classy Drunk
   Posted January 24, 2013 at 9:39 am

   “Are these real descriptors in actual use in some urban demographics, or just some dumb shit Bravo is trying to make happen?”

   Donkey is as real as it comes. Stallion is too but it isn’t used as much. Phaedra probably uses it more than most people, but Phaedra comments on asses more than most people. There’s also an onion booty. That’s a booty so nice it will make you cry.

   You’re Melatonin Deficiency doesn’t allow for you to respect a nice Donkey booty

8. 8
   Ssarrrrah
   Posted January 24, 2013 at 12:32 pm

   To me, donkey booty is related to badonkadonk (what \junk in the trunk\ does when you hit a bump while driving your car) — not so much the animal, although ass is another word for donkey. That’s probably a coincidence. Who knows the etymology? (Laugh)

9. 9
   Aunt Dorsey
   Posted January 24, 2013 at 12:34 pm

   L Boogie thank you for the lovely reminiscence about the Scream Machine and your ‘hair delivery’. Cracked me up. Nothing like feeling the wind blowing through your hair. I also hated, hated, hated Kandi’s Woody Woodpecker ‘do.

   Having been face to face many times with both horses and donkey asses, I wish to possess neither. But I do think ol’ Keyna is a major horses ass. Twirl.

10. 10
    Classy Drunk
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 12:38 pm

    You twirl on Aunt Dorsey…twirl on.

11. 11
    kthxbai
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 1:04 pm

    LOL Between donkey booty and Bronner Brothers I think this episode dumped a mess of white folks in the culture shock tank.

    I already put this on Facebook. But people don’t try to get in the Bronner Brothers hair show for the prize $. It’s to get a resume bullet. For people that want to get jobs doing African hair and editorial hair at places like NY Fashion Week. And for movie studios.

    @eyediosmio I don’t know if it came from badonkadonk. Or the other way round. But I’ve heard people say donkey booty for >9000 yrs. Specially in the USA south.

    I heard these older ladies talking about Kenya in the grocery store. Calling her Kenya Shake and Bake. And laughing so hard they near about fell over.

    They were reminiscing about some girl they went to school with. Back in pre weave times. When anybody with hair Africa’d kissed hard enough to leave lipstick would use hot combs heated up on the stove. And grease. Anyway, their school friend used to put so much on that when she went by they’d all laugh and go “It’s not fried, it’s Shake and Bake.”

    From a commercial for chicken seasoning they had back then.

    And there’s always been arguments about who’s got it the worst. Between Africa hair girls and NDN hair girls. That won’t curl for shit. Even for prom. And you have to soak it in horse conditioner for like a half hour. Or it feels just like horse mane fur. (That’s the flavor I ended up with)

12. 12
    Catherine
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 6:47 pm

    Watch the Chris rock documentary ‘good hair’ for insight on the bronners hair show… Derek j is featured prominently! It’s actually really interesting. But the way it’s portrayed in the movie it IS the ny fashion week of hair!

13. 13
    kthxbai
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 10:10 pm

    @Catherine I saw that! It came out a couple of yrs ago but it was recent enough that I totally recognized Derek J from RHOA!

    BTW for anybody that doesn’t know, the title is a play on words. Since of course all the artists want to do “good” hairstyles for the show. But it’s also an old timey expression that means African hair that’s not so attitudinous that it takes a long time to fix. But over time it also got picked up to mean NDN hair that doesn’t have to be soaked in horse conditioner for as long a time, or that might even hold a little wave long enough to get your picture made.

14. 14
    kthxbai
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 10:14 pm

    Oh and here’s the Bronner Brothers website.
    http://www.bronnerbros.com

    The company and the hair show both started up back 1947.

15. 15
    Tmurda
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 11:36 pm

    @NWMTV- Holy shit, I’m DYING over your above rant about people with certain names being pre-disposed to asshole-ness. Fucking hysterical….and sooooooooo true. True story- My bff from college is a second grade teacher at an inner-city elementary school, and she called me during her lunch break on the first day of school last August to tell me that when she called roll that morning, learning her new students’ names for the first time, she came to “La-ia”. She called out “um…La……eeah?” A little black girl in the very back of the class immediately stood up, put her hand on her hip, and aggressively said “It’s LA DASH IA, OKAAAAY!?!”. Case and point.

16. 16
    kthxbai
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 11:42 pm

    @Tmurda I bet they made the “DASH” silent on purpose so their little girl wouldn’t suffer in her life from negative Kardashian implications.

17. 17
    LAC
    Posted January 25, 2013 at 9:06 am

    LBoogie – gracias on the recap! Yeah, I am with you on the Apollo thang. Don’t talk, just do…me.

    Donkeys, and Stallions, and dummies, oh, my!

    Kenya – you know where a video called “Stallion booty” is going to sell? Try places like “The Ramrod”, “The Hole”, “Club Wet, Wet, Wet”…on gay night…which will be every night at those places. Because a stallion booty is not what you think it is, you crazy heiffa. But it is fun to watch another episode of Kenya Crisco cray cray. Swirl!

    @NWMTV: I don’t know about names indicating whether someone is an asshole. I know a person named Kadisha, and she is a doll. And appreciating a nice ass is not outside the realm of the melanin challenged. Although, since Nigella Lawson is considered plus size, I could be wrong.

18. 18
    Melesia
    Posted January 25, 2013 at 11:16 am

    Okay even Kenya realized that stallion booty was dumb, did you notice halfway through the episode she changed it stallion workout!

    and even through Phaedra might get sued for calling that chick bi polar I thought she hit it right on the money. You know we were all thinking it!

19. 19
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted January 25, 2013 at 7:50 pm

    It was kind of skipped over, but in Anguilla when Kenya Koochie Krack was fake boohooing on the bed, Walter did ask her, ‘Kenya, did you take your meds?’

    I did really like that Hamster Booty though. That boy was built!

20. 20
    thisbuggs4u
    Posted January 25, 2013 at 8:18 pm

    @Tmurda-My gf is a 5th grade teacher in NYC, in one of the boroughs, I can’t remember which one, but over Christmas we were talking about those crazy names that people come up with now…one of her students names is Female. Pronounced Fa-Mamalee…She saw it on the birth certificate application and thought it was pretty….so that is how she got the name…

    @Aunt Dorsey-I missed that part when Walter asked Kenya that…

    I thought Miss Lawrence was BFF’s with Sheree…

21. 21
    Tmurda
    Posted January 25, 2013 at 10:21 pm

    @thisbuggs4u-Jesus…..I don’t even have any words for that one. Another thing ive noticed about people with redic names is that they get mad when others mispronounce them! I’m well aware of how annoying it is to go through life having your name misspronounced constantly because my name is Tamitha, and instead of just reading it exactly how it’s spelled (just like Tabitha, but with an “M”), they either say it like Tuh-mee-thu or Ta-man-thu (which ive never understood)….HOWEVER I realized early on that it’s something i’ll just have to get used to, and I either politely correct them, or let them pronounce it wrong cause I don’t feel like there’s any point if its someone ill never see them again or won’t be around them much, but I NEVER get rude about it. And mine, IMO, isn’t difficult to pronounce. But it seems like the more difficult/confusing the name, the more irrate the jackass gets when its mispronounced! They should go off on their parents for being morons, not me cause I said it wrong. ASSHOLES!!

22. 22
    Robin
    Posted January 25, 2013 at 10:28 pm

    I am surprised the person that named her, or your teacher friend hadn’t heard of the old insulting joke about the dumb spanish speaking woman who named her child the exact same thing because she didn’t know how to fill the form out properly.