It’s time for the trip and they all meet at the airport. Peter is super excited to meet Kordell. I’m pretty sure he brought a corsage. And chloroform. Kandi shows up and starts murmuring something about Todd between her clenched teeth. I really don’t understand what the hell she just said. It was something about cancelling and not wanting to get cussed out by everyone. I think it means Todd declined the offer. Everyone else shows up, Kenya does not acknowledge Porsha and Todd surprises Kandi. He must really love her in order to subject himself to this. As someone behind the scenes, surely he knows how this stuff is edited. He’s taking a risk but it’s worth it for love, a new house, access to several cars and the chance to rub a Grammy. By Grammy, I am of course referring to Joyce.
They get to Anguilla and Kenya is permitted to drive the boat. We’re not even allowed to bring homemade food to my job for liability reasons. How is this legal? I’m surprised they didn’t end up crashing through the first chapel Kenya could sniff out on the island. I do recall hearing about an Anguillan Justice of the Peace being held for ransom around that time. The boat ride looked fun but scary. I didn’t see any life jackets on any of them and a psycho was at the wheel. I can see the headlines now: Cast of RHOA Missing in Anguilla

“My psychic told me that would happen.”
The boat ride got so rough that Cynthia’s boob came out but it was blurred. She finally did something interesting and it was censored. When they get to land, they get into a bus and mention that they’ve fought hard not to be in the back of it. Within 30 seconds, they pass a diamond store and our Civil Rights princess mentions that they should go to the mall and “ball out”. If this isn’t the dream, I don’t want to know what is.
Kenya says that Walter needs to go there and he issues one of the best excuses I’ve ever heard. They’re blood diamonds. I wish I was there. I would’ve slow clapped the hell out of that. Kenya starts asking a bunch of questions about the ring and the size and when is he going to get it and Phaedra interviews that the Good Book says a man finds a wife. Walter takes it in stride and wonders how his life has come to this. He just wanted to be a background extra and somehow ended up being cast as Kenya’s boyfriend. For real though. He tried to date Kandi but ended up with Kenya. It reminds me of how Slade from RHOC dated Jo, then moved onto Laurie and lastly Gretchen. The “old” people are in the Escalade and are yapping about something but whenever Gregg starts talking I just want to curl up in his ample bosom and go to sleep. He looks like he smells like moth balls.
Once they arrive at the hotel, they’re given a tour of the master suites. Supposedly, they will all have master suites and are taken on a tour of Nene’s first. I thought it was interesting that Nene in particular was singled out by the staff. Today I read a little tidbit about how they went above and beyond to accommodate her. Her master suite is complete with a hot tub and outdoor showers. When they go to Kenya’s suite, they realize that it’s a junior suite. She starts saying to the men that she doesn’t have a tub, the room isn’t big enough and she’s going to another hotel. One of the hotel guys gives one of those looks to the camera that every person who’s ever met her has given at some point in time. It’s a cross between, ‘I hope she doesn’t kill me’ and ‘I’m excited to see where this goes’ and ‘I wish I’d worn my cup’. Their response: it’s a pleasure having you here. What won’t be a pleasure is them cleaning up the oil slick she’s going to leave on the pillow.
So that’s how she blots her t-zone…
Apollo and Phaedra have a deep discussion involving her honeypot. She refuses to get into the hot tub unless it’s bleached. Apollo feels that she’s overreacting and I don’t know why. I’m sure he had the same requirement before the experimented with her back door. They call Dr. Lew to settle the argument and the doctor agrees with Phaedra. Phaedra says she has no time for bacterial vaginosis. I wasn’t aware that it was taking reservations.
If you like it, spread it!:
17 Comments
What is it with all the blue eyeshadow this season? Are they sharing one makeup artist in ATL?
@L Boogie Thanks to you I now know ROFLing really can make you pull a face muscle. I thought it was just an old wives tale till I got to
WWJVSAD?
This episode has Kandi’s best.hair.ever! It swaps out yrs off of her face and puts back pretty. In her peacock blue confession scenes. And in the kitchen with Mama Joyce.
Where she also had a top on that’s her exact perfect shade of of bright yellow. That doesn’t do much for a lot of people. But on Kandi it falls in love with her undertones and asks them to marry it. She needs to give that stylist whatever they want to come live in her house.
But instead to go on the trip she let somebody stick a mess of bad mom retro curls on her head. That they probably told her looked beachy.
Copy/Paste. I posted under the wrong episode.
Okay….WTF is wrong with that Kenya guy? Desperate, too much testosterone, and inappropriate. If skanky Walter proposes to her, he’s just as bi-polar as she is. I’m betting the bus that she has a penis under that dress. Oh so unattractive and totally yuk.
Amusing though. I’ve never witnessed a woman desperately chase a man before let alone announce to the world that she isn’t ‘ovulating’ over dinner.
Jesus I thought I was watching a Jerry Springer “Hedonism” Special that he used to do years ago!
Kenya got too drunk and forgot Walter was her pretend boyfriend, then she tried dry-humping all the men. Whoopsie!
Ehhh, dont really have too much to say about this episode……except I really like Kandi and her man. But what’s up with her being all shy and lame, meanwhile rockin’ the Kegal Balls at an antique store last ep? WTF
Here’s a link to Walter’s radio interview basically saying the current relationship wasn’t real.
Here’s Part II of the interview:
Sorry, this is Part two.
Don’t care if I didn’t hear another thing about Kim and Kroy. I think Nene said it best. Don’t let the door hitcha…
I agree with kthxbai. Kandi is looking good this season. Her hair looks nice and she’s been dressed fairly nicely too. I hated that short pink do with the flip in the front.
Um, Phaedra, I know you were making a statement with that net dress but NOT A GOOD LOOK GIRLFRIEND! You need a body like Brandi G (of RHoBH) to pull that off. I don’t blame her. I’m surprised she held her tongue. I would have made a couple of sharp passive aggressive comments to the bitch if she flirted that overtly with my man.
Well, Derek, your video explains why Walter didn’t seem to upset that Kenya was throwing herself at every man on the island. She’s a pathetic mess.
Oh, and I found this on Phaedra’s twitter. She and Apollo actually have an exercise video that’s currently on sale, just in time for the holiday season.
http://www.phinebody.com/
Manufactured Drama? Does Bravo do it any other way???
I loves your recaps! Thank you!
Kim: bye bitch! Nene and Cynthia put it best. Move on.org…
Nene – don’t need to see you and Greg getting it on. I cannot drink nearly enough wine during the show for that. I love how a few gallons of tropical drinks, and she is suddenly back to loud, fun vulgar Nene. Now if Kandi can just sell her a DEALDO…
Cynthia: boob pops out…married to a boob…and we’re done. But that little catty shade thrown at Kenya Crisco was amusing.
Porsha: well, at least she waited until the plane landed and all the other vehicles stopped before stepping out. That is an accomplishment.
Kandi – looking good in her confessionals and she and her man are cute. However, she is going to need subtitles soon if she does not stop talking through her teeth.
Phaedra – Girl, you can give an swift uppercut to some two toned weaved out bitch and still be a lady. It is a better reaction than the yeast net you wore to make a point. And remind Apollo that unless he wants Pastor Mama walking her full weight on his back, he needs to cool it with Kenya Crisco.
Kenya – how this bitch is surprised by the reaction she is getting is beyond me. She is ShitBySheree, Chateau Sheree, wall sized portrait of Sheree delusional. So not making Walter jealous. Making him think another sequel to “Open Water” – only this time, we are rooting for the sharks and the man is on the beach waving bye bye. See, that is why heiffas like her are constantly wondering why they have so few female friends – it is not that they are all jealous of you, it is because you do shit like that!
I’M HAPPY FOR KIM!!! She should leave the show and continue making babies to, not only lock onto Kroys paychecks, but to hire another nanny to raise the new kid so she can continue to shop, nap, piss and moan. Hopefully she will find a new set of lips in her travels……at least a set that look real……to replace the constantly slimy labia’s she currently has on her face.
My only question is – why would they rearrange their schedules to accommodate Kim, the least reliable person on the show?
Thanks for reading everyone! And thanks for the extra dirt…kthxbai, I learned something new! You probably had a mild case of Phaedra face-itis. I actually liked Phaedra and Apollo’s commercial. I almost ordered it as I’m an exercise whore. I’m always joining a gym, buying useless equipment and purchasing Crossfit Groupons that I never redeem. I seriously love your comments and read them instead of working, auditioning and creating actual human relationships. Next one will be done soon!
I’m just now catching up on the gals. Phaedra with the hot tub…ON POINT! I laughed so hard. I’m guessing if the next baby is a girl, Apollo will NOT be in charge…or Dr. Lew will school him. I mean, Phaedra can’t be that nasty without knowing how to take care of her stuff.
@L Boogie can you fix it where we can make comments on the recap for this week’s episode?
Kthxbai, idk if I angered the technology gods or what. I can’t do aything on my end (that I’m aware of). I just sent flipit an email. :’(