RHOA Recap: Donkey Wars

Real Housewives of Atlanta

By L Boogie | Wednesday, January 16, 2013 | 8:17 am | 22 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Last week, Kenya broke up with Walter and that’s all I can remember. And thanks for all of the education on Pepsi, sweet tea and Coke. I happen to like sweet tea but I have a hard time seeing it used within the toddler population. I’m not judging, well I am, but I can accept it. I’m all for culture. Oh and Kenya’s slicked up look is sooooo the result of being an ashy kid. I’ve known people like her who overcompensate for one thing and end up looking even more ridiculous.

Speaking of culture, NeNe is moving on up in Hollywood. Things are so sophisticated that she has an app on her phone that makes Cynthia sound like a 60 year old man. Yep, no matter how much money you make, cell phone reception can universally suck. Join my club NeNe. Kenya was nice enough to ingratiate herself to NeNe (so she can get a second season) and gave her some furniture and statues. This is the third move we have witnessed this season. Kim had a team of men who were yelled at, Kandi had two elderly relatives who good naturedly helped and NeNe and Gregg have a team of men who basically refuse to drive, lift or touch anything. Gregg wants to rent people to work like they did when he was a boy but that Civil War kinda ruined that. NeNe says that she lives near celebrities such as Larry Flynt and Mel Gibson. I’m sure Mel will prepare a parade in her honor. Parade, rally, cross burning…whatevs. She also isn’t going to buy or sell anything until she’s sure that she’ll be working long term in L.A. Her real estate agent Dee keeps trying to convince her that Glee and New Normal are the M*A*S*H of this generation but NeNe is wisely waiting to see what happens.

Riley is making a birthday cake for Todd since she won’t be at his party. This is also the one year anniversary of the day Kandi met and kissed him. I’m still a little thrown off by them moving so quickly within a year. I heard they just  got engaged, although I thought I heard that months ago, so I hope it works out for them. Riley asks if she can move into the guest house when she’s older but Kandi says no since she wants to keep her level headed. Also, Kim will probably be living there once she blows through Kroy’s money.


“If my new line of edible panties tastes as good as this cake batter, I’ll be buying the whole block.”

Aunt Lori and Che stop by to see Kenya at her new house. They complain the whole way that she might as well live in L.A. because her house is so far. Then they walk in and are over-the-top shocked that she’s cooking. Is it possible that her own family doesn’t even like her? They ask about Walter and Kenya breaks the news. The more interesting news, in my opinion, is that he tried to talk to Che a few years ago and she feels he’s a weirdo who is probably gay and wears a toupee. If this was a real relationship, would Che have waited until now to reveal this? This goes back to my theory that they really don’t like her. There’s no way that could’ve been part of the Kenya-approved script.


“You people scare me.”
  
“We’re just looking out for you!”


“It would help if you looked a little less like Big Bird.”


“What?!”


“Susan Powter.”


“What?!”


“Dennis Rodman.”


“Well, I never!”


“Use a comb? Yeah, I could’ve guessed that.”

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22 Comments

  1. 1
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted January 17, 2013 at 7:30 am

    I didn’t get that Phaedra didn’t want to give Kenya anything. I think that she was negotiating. She low balled her and then they could have found a meeting point. Also if Kenya wanted 100K and Todd said you can do it for 25K then I would have been suspicious of Kenya’s numbers also.

    I do love how Kandi shut Kenya DOWN when she was trying to talk about the deal. She was NOT going to ruin her man’s night with foolish nonsense.

  2. 2
    JJ
    Posted January 17, 2013 at 8:02 am

    I did not think it was a negoitation. “I am giving you nothing” is not usually the starting point in any negoitation I have been involved in. I think Kenya is crazy, but in this I am on her side.

  3. 3
    Mimo
    Posted January 17, 2013 at 8:37 am

    It’s funny – when we all come from different life experiences. I just assumed that Phaedra was “I’ll give you nothing” regarding the 10% on the back side that Kenya wanted. I didn’t even think about the fact that Phaedra didn’t want to pay her anything.

  4. 4
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted January 17, 2013 at 8:54 am

    L Boogie THANK YEWWWWWWWWWW for including the WWHL pic. My stars! I sang, I danced I laughed over that performance and her hair (WTH?)

    Just awesome!

    Anyway, can Kenya get any more obnoxious? I think her family was making a point that Kenya was acting “out of her character” by cooking and appearing to be a homebody. You know that woman only dines out, please!

    Here’s my thing on the negotiations. Phaedra doesn’t like Kenya hitting on Apollo so she LOW BALLED Kenya as payback. Kenya is easy to get fired up and Phaedra being an atty know this and used it to her advantage. She liked that Kenya did the upfront work and secured a distribution deal but, I can’t believe that Phaedra, as concerned with money as she is (for all the reason LB listed in the cap) didn’t do a little research and found out that 100k is outrageous for a first time fitness video.

    100k with whatever cut they agreed on could have suited Phaedra just fine except when cross checking with Todd who is also in the industry and I would say more credible, could do it for 25k. This isn’t a DreamWorks production.

    Phaedra maybe redickulous but she does not suffer fools.

    Good for Kandi too, I wouldn’t have even invited Kenya but I don’t like her so…

  5. 5
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted January 17, 2013 at 10:01 am

    @Mimo that’s where I was with it…Phaedra is a businesswoman and knows she has to pay the girl, but what she is not going to do is pay 100K for something that costs 25K and then on top of that give you money on the back end.

    @gypsy, Kenya wouldn’t be invited to anything for the simple fact that she hits on people’s husbands that are in my circle.

  6. 6
    gapeach@home
    Posted January 17, 2013 at 6:09 pm

    Remember, Phaedra represents folks in the entertainment industry. The whole story line is phony, put out there for our amusement. Phaedra didn’t need anything from Kenya.

  7. 7
    Pari
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 5:49 am

    Did anyone find it weird that Cynthia just canceled the casting call? And how did she cancel it so quickly where all of the people that were going to show up to audition knew not to come, but she didn’t have time to tell Kenya or Phaedra?? AND if she didn’t know the specifics of what she was supposed to be casting for (which she cited as her reason) why didn’t she ask Phaedra or Kenya or somebody instead of waiting until the last day and canceling last minute? I wouldn’t do business with any of these crazy women!

  8. 8
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 7:51 am

    Funny, I always thought it was just some informal agreement that they would potentially work together. If Phaedra went to her lawyer to draw up papers, then I’m sure she also had some sort of background check done on Kenya to verify her credentials. If Kenya’s credentials are straight to DVD, as they are alleged to be, why would Phaedra settle without weighing options? I think Kenya got her hopes up because we all know she needs the money and was pissed when Phaedra backed out, even though there was no contract.

    As far as WWHL, Kenya is just hysterical and, coupled with MJ, it was off the hook. I think nothing beats those background dancers and MJ/Andy twirling drunkenly and offbeat as the song was going on. I have to be honest and admit I downloaded it, but I’ve bought Kim’s singles, Kandi’s CD, Miss Lawrence’s single, but I feel like Kenya really could use my $0.99.

  9. 9
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 8:18 am

    LOL @Derek…Kenya could!

    @Classy, that’s what I’m saying…girl has HOMEWRECKER written all over her. And she reeks of desperation. No thank yewwwwwwww!

  10. 10
    LAC LAC
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 9:59 am

    LBoogie, I loves ya! Very funny recap. And thank you for adding Kenya’s pic from WWHL (or as I like to call it What The Fuck Are You Wearing and Why Aren’t You in Therapy Now?” )

    Nene – yes, you have arrived… do something please, other than have Greg slooooowly get things done for you.

    Porsha – is there any footage of someone else opening doors for this child? I don’t think she can actually do it on her own.

    Kandi – Good for her to nix that Crisco Kenya shit at Todd’s party.

    Cynthia – As much as I am loathe to give StupidModel (work!) credit, I do get her annoyance about her business being tweeted as a casting center without her knowledge or without some compensation. That was not a cool move by Phaedra.

    Phaedra v. Kenya: I was torn too. However, Kenya’s claims about her expertise and success seem to be only self references and given what this is – a booty exercise video with some big butts and Apollo (shirtless, please) why would this be 100,000? And then money on the back end? That just seems wrong. But having the lawyer hiding in vents while this is going on is strange.

    Of course, all this went out of the window when “gone with wind” twirler Kenya became a songstress on What The Fuck Live. I got some lyrics for her to add: “You say that you will need to throw sand on me to hold on? / I say I’m fabulous. / You say that I am referencing a movie about a time when I would be in the fields picking cotton?/ I say, okay, maybe, but if there was a remake, it would star me/ ’cause I’m fabulous!”

    cray, cray!!

  11. 11
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 10:37 am

    @LAC, WTF Live is such an apt name! Love it. WTF Live is only good when you like his guests, and sucks when you don’t (which is often the case with me). But MJ/Kenya and their middle aged womanhood bond had me hooked from Minute 1.

    I have to agree about Cynthia. She seems to be more on the ball this season and not so passive, which is a good look for her. I wonder if any of the Atlanta Bad Girls will make a trip to the Bailey Agency so we can get some reality crossover gold.

  12. 12
    L Boogie
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 11:45 am

    @classy, jj, mimo I thought this was a weird negotiation. Asking for ten and being told “nothing” was extreme. Of course, we get the edited version so maybe there was more detail. 100k was clearly OD. I Googled the cost of producing a workout dvd and everything I saw was between 16k and 20k. I still think Phaedra should have named a price instead of saying money was no object. Kenya probably ordered a fleet of actual donkeys!

    @gypsy, my pleasure, I think. I don’t always watch WWHL, but I happened to switch to it just in the nick of time.

    @gapeach, Yup. Phaedra had to have a reason to hang with Kenya. Kenya thought it was really gonna happen but Phaedra knew it was just another storyline.

    @Pari, I think Phaedra tweeted the casting that morning so it was truly last minute. I could be wrong. Cancelling probably consisted of her assistant furiously answering all 12 phone calls and putting a post it on the door.

    @Derek, it was informal but you know Kenya’s crazy and so does Phaedra. Once the train takes off, there’s no stopping it. I was shocked (!) that Kenya entered the HW songwriter’s guild. Do they have a talent portion for Miss USA? I wonder if it was twirls and husband poaching.

    @LAC, LOL at throw sand on me to hold on! That’s seriously messed up…

    Only took me 27 minutes to type this out on my phone, ha! Hope it’s legible.

  13. 13
    LAC LAC
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 12:00 pm

    Derek, honey, please let it be the klassy one with the stripper heels, yelling “Let’s get it cracka-lackin’ in the ATL!” She is the face of La Bailey Agency! Even better, a cross casting with “Big Rich Atlanta” I watched the half hour preview and yowsa – that is a train wreck tranny hot mess. Poor Atlanta…

  14. 14
    LAC LAC
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 12:04 pm

    L Boogie – I know, but as Job Bluth says… “C’mon!” :)

  15. 15
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 12:13 pm

    Dang…I didn’t even realize that we had RHOA, Big Rich Atlanta, and BGC Atlanta on all at the same damn time….

  16. 16
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 1:04 pm

    Husband poaching and it looks like Thunder poaching on next weeks epi when CK starts her own booty video.

  17. 17
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 1:05 pm

    @thunder poaching…are you trying to make that a thing Gypsy?!?!?! :)

  18. 18
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 1:10 pm

    It’s not already?

  19. 19
    sheesh sheesh
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 1:12 pm

    Thunder poaching!
    Yayayayayay! That made my day!

  20. 20
    LAC LAC
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 1:30 pm

    Cock!

  21. 21
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 1:33 pm

    Happiness & Joy!

  22. 22
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted January 19, 2013 at 1:25 pm

    I’m offended you guys allowed me to watch Kenya’s song…you guys are NOT my friend

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