RHOA Recap: Donkey Wars

Real Housewives of Atlanta

By L Boogie | Wednesday, January 16, 2013 | 8:17 am | 22 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Kenya is back to business because it’s time to get the donkey booty video done. Kenya meets with Apollo and Phaedra so she can check out some of their moves. Kenya is very pround of the fact that they are finally moving forward with creativity that her direction spurned. She tells them what she’s come up with thus far; a $100,000 budget and a distribution deal. How much does it cost to get a room, a few cameras and some big asses in a room? That sounds like every club I’ve ever been to. Actually, that sounds like my Christmas!


Apollo:  I am in shock!
Phaedra: I have to pick my jaw up off the floor!


Kenya: I thought you two said money was no object!


Apollo: Not the money. I’m married to this lady?!
Phaedra: I’m in a perpetual state of shock too. I really lucked out that day I was running laps around the prison.


“We call this move: How to Tackle a Prison Guard and Get Your Man!”

NeNe, who is starring in the most uninteresting storyline ever, is telling Gregg that she needs his help more. He says he’s trying to help but she always complains about how he does stuff.


“I’m here for you money, uhh I mean honey.”

Phaedra’s attorney has had the opportunity to look over the details of Kenya’s business plan and he sees some issues. From what I gathered, add in what I missed, they feel Kenya’s budget is too high and she should not receive a back end from the project. The attorney suddenly fashions himself a producer and feels that they can get by with three cameras, lights and some mats. Wasn’t Phaedra the one asking about booty cameras? Again, she wants it all but doesn’t want to pay for it. That’s a recurring theme on these housewives shows. When Kenya gets there, Phaedra’s attorney hides in a crawlspace and listens intently to everything being said. If this is how they practice law in the south, I can only imagine what doctors do.


“I might have bronchitis. The doctor said to drink this hemlock. If I live, it’s just a cold.”

Phaedra essentially says that Kenya doesn’t deserve a back end at all. She has also talked to Todd, Kandi’s man, and he claims he can do the deal for $25,000. Kenya says that she only produces films in which she has ownership. Somehow Phaedra likens this situation to serving Chef Boyardee to Obama or caviar to Ayden. First of all, there’s a brand new Chef Boyardee commercial out that basically tells you the real dude was the shit and secondly, we know what you’d feed Ayden…Pop Rocks, sweet tea and images of his thong-assed mother that he’ll never be able to get out of his mind or off of the internet. Apollo wants to work with Kenya but has to listen to his wife. Phaedra might claim to be unfamiliar with Kenya’s films, but Apollo definitely saw those straight to DVD movies Kenya produced. They were successful in their own right. If I were her, I wouldn’t work for free or damn near free either. Kenya is not happy and walks out leaving the attorney to free himself of the bird’s nest he disturbed. Phaedra isn’t concerned about ruining her relationship with Kenya since they haven’t known each other that long.


“I’ve already done 6 weeks worth of work and you don’t want to pay me?”

“It’s not that we don’t want to pay you. We REALLY don’t want to pay you.”

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22 Comments

  1. 1
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted January 17, 2013 at 7:30 am

    I didn’t get that Phaedra didn’t want to give Kenya anything. I think that she was negotiating. She low balled her and then they could have found a meeting point. Also if Kenya wanted 100K and Todd said you can do it for 25K then I would have been suspicious of Kenya’s numbers also.

    I do love how Kandi shut Kenya DOWN when she was trying to talk about the deal. She was NOT going to ruin her man’s night with foolish nonsense.

  2. 2
    JJ
    Posted January 17, 2013 at 8:02 am

    I did not think it was a negoitation. “I am giving you nothing” is not usually the starting point in any negoitation I have been involved in. I think Kenya is crazy, but in this I am on her side.

  3. 3
    Mimo
    Posted January 17, 2013 at 8:37 am

    It’s funny – when we all come from different life experiences. I just assumed that Phaedra was “I’ll give you nothing” regarding the 10% on the back side that Kenya wanted. I didn’t even think about the fact that Phaedra didn’t want to pay her anything.

  4. 4
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted January 17, 2013 at 8:54 am

    L Boogie THANK YEWWWWWWWWWW for including the WWHL pic. My stars! I sang, I danced I laughed over that performance and her hair (WTH?)

    Just awesome!

    Anyway, can Kenya get any more obnoxious? I think her family was making a point that Kenya was acting “out of her character” by cooking and appearing to be a homebody. You know that woman only dines out, please!

    Here’s my thing on the negotiations. Phaedra doesn’t like Kenya hitting on Apollo so she LOW BALLED Kenya as payback. Kenya is easy to get fired up and Phaedra being an atty know this and used it to her advantage. She liked that Kenya did the upfront work and secured a distribution deal but, I can’t believe that Phaedra, as concerned with money as she is (for all the reason LB listed in the cap) didn’t do a little research and found out that 100k is outrageous for a first time fitness video.

    100k with whatever cut they agreed on could have suited Phaedra just fine except when cross checking with Todd who is also in the industry and I would say more credible, could do it for 25k. This isn’t a DreamWorks production.

    Phaedra maybe redickulous but she does not suffer fools.

    Good for Kandi too, I wouldn’t have even invited Kenya but I don’t like her so…

  5. 5
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted January 17, 2013 at 10:01 am

    @Mimo that’s where I was with it…Phaedra is a businesswoman and knows she has to pay the girl, but what she is not going to do is pay 100K for something that costs 25K and then on top of that give you money on the back end.

    @gypsy, Kenya wouldn’t be invited to anything for the simple fact that she hits on people’s husbands that are in my circle.

  6. 6
    gapeach@home
    Posted January 17, 2013 at 6:09 pm

    Remember, Phaedra represents folks in the entertainment industry. The whole story line is phony, put out there for our amusement. Phaedra didn’t need anything from Kenya.

  7. 7
    Pari
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 5:49 am

    Did anyone find it weird that Cynthia just canceled the casting call? And how did she cancel it so quickly where all of the people that were going to show up to audition knew not to come, but she didn’t have time to tell Kenya or Phaedra?? AND if she didn’t know the specifics of what she was supposed to be casting for (which she cited as her reason) why didn’t she ask Phaedra or Kenya or somebody instead of waiting until the last day and canceling last minute? I wouldn’t do business with any of these crazy women!

  8. 8
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 7:51 am

    Funny, I always thought it was just some informal agreement that they would potentially work together. If Phaedra went to her lawyer to draw up papers, then I’m sure she also had some sort of background check done on Kenya to verify her credentials. If Kenya’s credentials are straight to DVD, as they are alleged to be, why would Phaedra settle without weighing options? I think Kenya got her hopes up because we all know she needs the money and was pissed when Phaedra backed out, even though there was no contract.

    As far as WWHL, Kenya is just hysterical and, coupled with MJ, it was off the hook. I think nothing beats those background dancers and MJ/Andy twirling drunkenly and offbeat as the song was going on. I have to be honest and admit I downloaded it, but I’ve bought Kim’s singles, Kandi’s CD, Miss Lawrence’s single, but I feel like Kenya really could use my $0.99.

  9. 9
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 8:18 am

    LOL @Derek…Kenya could!

    @Classy, that’s what I’m saying…girl has HOMEWRECKER written all over her. And she reeks of desperation. No thank yewwwwwwww!

  10. 10
    LAC LAC
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 9:59 am

    LBoogie, I loves ya! Very funny recap. And thank you for adding Kenya’s pic from WWHL (or as I like to call it What The Fuck Are You Wearing and Why Aren’t You in Therapy Now?” )

    Nene – yes, you have arrived… do something please, other than have Greg slooooowly get things done for you.

    Porsha – is there any footage of someone else opening doors for this child? I don’t think she can actually do it on her own.

    Kandi – Good for her to nix that Crisco Kenya shit at Todd’s party.

    Cynthia – As much as I am loathe to give StupidModel (work!) credit, I do get her annoyance about her business being tweeted as a casting center without her knowledge or without some compensation. That was not a cool move by Phaedra.

    Phaedra v. Kenya: I was torn too. However, Kenya’s claims about her expertise and success seem to be only self references and given what this is – a booty exercise video with some big butts and Apollo (shirtless, please) why would this be 100,000? And then money on the back end? That just seems wrong. But having the lawyer hiding in vents while this is going on is strange.

    Of course, all this went out of the window when “gone with wind” twirler Kenya became a songstress on What The Fuck Live. I got some lyrics for her to add: “You say that you will need to throw sand on me to hold on? / I say I’m fabulous. / You say that I am referencing a movie about a time when I would be in the fields picking cotton?/ I say, okay, maybe, but if there was a remake, it would star me/ ’cause I’m fabulous!”

    cray, cray!!

  11. 11
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 10:37 am

    @LAC, WTF Live is such an apt name! Love it. WTF Live is only good when you like his guests, and sucks when you don’t (which is often the case with me). But MJ/Kenya and their middle aged womanhood bond had me hooked from Minute 1.

    I have to agree about Cynthia. She seems to be more on the ball this season and not so passive, which is a good look for her. I wonder if any of the Atlanta Bad Girls will make a trip to the Bailey Agency so we can get some reality crossover gold.

  12. 12
    L Boogie
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 11:45 am

    @classy, jj, mimo I thought this was a weird negotiation. Asking for ten and being told “nothing” was extreme. Of course, we get the edited version so maybe there was more detail. 100k was clearly OD. I Googled the cost of producing a workout dvd and everything I saw was between 16k and 20k. I still think Phaedra should have named a price instead of saying money was no object. Kenya probably ordered a fleet of actual donkeys!

    @gypsy, my pleasure, I think. I don’t always watch WWHL, but I happened to switch to it just in the nick of time.

    @gapeach, Yup. Phaedra had to have a reason to hang with Kenya. Kenya thought it was really gonna happen but Phaedra knew it was just another storyline.

    @Pari, I think Phaedra tweeted the casting that morning so it was truly last minute. I could be wrong. Cancelling probably consisted of her assistant furiously answering all 12 phone calls and putting a post it on the door.

    @Derek, it was informal but you know Kenya’s crazy and so does Phaedra. Once the train takes off, there’s no stopping it. I was shocked (!) that Kenya entered the HW songwriter’s guild. Do they have a talent portion for Miss USA? I wonder if it was twirls and husband poaching.

    @LAC, LOL at throw sand on me to hold on! That’s seriously messed up…

    Only took me 27 minutes to type this out on my phone, ha! Hope it’s legible.

  13. 13
    LAC LAC
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 12:00 pm

    Derek, honey, please let it be the klassy one with the stripper heels, yelling “Let’s get it cracka-lackin’ in the ATL!” She is the face of La Bailey Agency! Even better, a cross casting with “Big Rich Atlanta” I watched the half hour preview and yowsa – that is a train wreck tranny hot mess. Poor Atlanta…

  14. 14
    LAC LAC
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 12:04 pm

    L Boogie – I know, but as Job Bluth says… “C’mon!” :)

  15. 15
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 12:13 pm

    Dang…I didn’t even realize that we had RHOA, Big Rich Atlanta, and BGC Atlanta on all at the same damn time….

  16. 16
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 1:04 pm

    Husband poaching and it looks like Thunder poaching on next weeks epi when CK starts her own booty video.

  17. 17
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 1:05 pm

    @thunder poaching…are you trying to make that a thing Gypsy?!?!?! :)

  18. 18
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 1:10 pm

    It’s not already?

  19. 19
    sheesh sheesh
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 1:12 pm

    Thunder poaching!
    Yayayayayay! That made my day!

  20. 20
    LAC LAC
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 1:30 pm

    Cock!

  21. 21
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 1:33 pm

    Happiness & Joy!

  22. 22
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted January 19, 2013 at 1:25 pm

    I’m offended you guys allowed me to watch Kenya’s song…you guys are NOT my friend

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