RHOA Recap: Hollywood Shuffle


“Kordell said if I drink he’s going to throw me off a bridge backwards.”

“Oooh, chile. Everybody knows that a shippy showd on a dippy doo is laka maka!” 

The talk turns to the workout DVD. Kenya says hers will be out in December and Phaedra declines to mention the actual title of hers as she does not want it stolen. Too little, too late attorney! Should have thought about all of that before episode 7. Then they discuss Walter and Kenya. She reveals that they broke up and Kandi, between troughs, shares that Walter went to Kordell’s party. Kenya is unfortunately taking the bait. Cynthia in her new found role as semi-shitty person furthers the discussion and says that Peter is still in contact with him and he will be attending an event. On the one hand Cynthia was warning Kenya but she also seemed eager to see a possible shit storm take place. Kenya is fed up and storms off because she can’t fight! She has to stay cancer free! It doesn’t stop her from getting amped up when NeNe finds her skinning a busboy in the bathroom.

NeNe: Kenya just come upstairs.
Kenya: And I am telling you…
NeNe: You’re not going?
Kenya: There’s no way I can ever go!
NeNe: What if I tear down the mountains? Yell scream and shout?
Kenya: You can say what you want. I’m not walking out!

Porsha: Is that bitch really recreating Dreamgirls?
Kandi: I could use a little sweet.
Cynthia: Which one is playing Jamie Foxx? 

 That’s all I got people. What’d you think? If I were NeNe, I would have been mad too. Two and a half hours is just ridiculously late. Phaedra claimed that it was because she arrived late but NeNe said on WWHL that she was still at the house when Phaedra got there. Next week, Porsha makes her full ascent to Anna Mae territory when she explains her marriage. Love you for reading and commenting!

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9 Comments

  1. 1
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted March 5, 2013 at 8:55 pm

    @LBoogs, I saw this contest on Kandi’s twitter, so enter and have a great time:
    http://instagram.com/p/WgJFJThJA_/

    I have to say that I hope Kenya takes stock of how horrible she is when people would rather invite her fake ex boyfriend to dinner parties than her.

    I also hope Porscha takes some sort of remedial class to learn how a Keurig K-Cup machine works.

    And, Nene, always trying to show off how rich she is! Why would she have the dinner party on the day that the “girls” arrive in Hollywood? Why would she have a dinner party at 9pm, if their flight came in at 6pm? Would Nene have banned them from her property had their flight been delayed? I couldn’t take her on WWHL throwing shade, but I did love how her and Cynthia coined the new term: Suzy(?), which meant shit-stirrer.

  2. 2
    2muchbravo
    Posted March 5, 2013 at 11:21 pm

    I only just put my first K-Cup thingy in the other day and I wasn’t sure which end went up. I have two college degrees. So, cut Little P some slack.

    I think Nene was absolutely right about her dinner party. She hired caterers and bought dinnerware to have a nice dinner for her friends. The friends who didn’t care enough to even so much as call to tell her they weren’t going to make it anywhere close to 9 PM. Fuck BPT that’s just plain rude. If they were really there for Nene they would have made a fucking effort to be there on time. They were all wearing the same clothes from the plane. It’s not like they were all spending time showering and changing. And, their laughing just made it worse. My opinion of Kandi changed. I was shocked at how blase’ she was about the whole thing. I would have been furious. Nene was actually very much in control. She could have zapped out at them like she used to with Kim. My conclusion was that they just didn’t give a shit enough to try to be on time.

    You don’t know how many days they had in LA. There may not have been any other night to hold the dinner.

  3. 3
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted March 6, 2013 at 5:49 am

    I”m with Derek. 9 pm the day the girls arrive?!?!!? Flying from east coast to west coast is already hard enough then I have to make it to a 9 pm dinner. That doesn’t give the girls any time to really freshen up and recover from an almost 5 hour flight.

    The girls should have let Nene know that they were as late as they were because she did put the time and effort into the dinner. I also would not have let them in as the dinner was over.

    The men seemed to have bonded in Anguilla so they will probably attend each others events. I.e. Kordell’s birthday party. Was Porsha’s snide remark necessary…no…but did I enjoy it. YES! :)

  4. 4
    NatPatBen
    Posted March 6, 2013 at 6:35 am

    @LBoogie, you had me CRACKING UP on the bus this morning when I read that Kandy hadn’t eaten in 12.. minutes. I thought I was about to read 12 hours.

    I understood Kandi’s response at Nene’s. She felt like they were late, that was wrong, so they should accept it (and a to-go plate) and move on.

  5. 5
    Mimo
    Posted March 6, 2013 at 9:22 am

    Do the cameramen purposely take the most unflattering shots of the women he can? Because I got to tell ya – if my legs and ass were as big as Phaedra’s and Kandi’s looked on the last telecast – I certainly wouldn’t be wearing print pants with a crop top. And to be honest, I thought I was bigger than them until I saw those shots. I can’t imagine that Phaedra actually thinks that anyone would buy a workout video by her if A weren’t in it.

  6. 6
    Posted March 6, 2013 at 10:25 am

    2muchbravo: “The friends who didn’t care enough to even so much as call to tell her they weren’t going to make it anywhere close to 9 PM. Fuck BPT that’s just plain rude. If they were really there for Nene they would have made a fucking effort to be there on time.”

    Yeah, because the battleship U.S.S. NeNe always pulls into port right on time….

    DerekHazelton: “Why would she have the dinner party on the day that the “girls” arrive in Hollywood? Why would she have a dinner party at 9pm, if their flight came in at 6pm?”

    I’m sure it was one of those ka-razee coinky-dinks that happen on the Housewives shows all the time. Had nothing at all to do with a word that starts with P and rhymes with “scroducers”.

    ClassyDrunk: “The men seemed to have bonded in Anguilla so they will probably attend each others events.”

    Also probably part of the pan-franchise plan to make all the men into Housewives with slightly deeper voices. It will be interesting to see if the Atlanta men slide into their new roles as shrill, hysterical cunts as quickly and as completely as did the Beverly Hills men.

    Mimo: “Do the cameramen purposely take the most unflattering shots of the women he can?”

    These women don’t possess flattering angles. Bravo doesn’t pay the production crews enough for them to go all Industrial Lights and Magic to make NeNe or Kandi or Phaedra look less like hip-hopotamuses.

  7. 7
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted March 7, 2013 at 6:09 am

    I am beginning to think the rumors about Phaedra and Apollo having marriage issues is true. I have seen him gallivanting around town and it seems some young woman (a different one each time) is with him.

  8. 8
    LAC LAC
    Posted March 7, 2013 at 12:08 pm

    L Boogie, you kill me with those Phaedraisms – sometimes I have to go back to understand what she said the first time.

    Nene – I am sorry, but I am with her. I get that some of these heiffas were running behind, but I think there is such a thing as more than one mothafuckin’ car to get some of your asses to an event. Get Stupid Model, Kray Kray, and Kandi Coated Ribs in one car heading out. When Phaedra is ready, she can make sure that Porsha get her heels on the right foot and take the next car. That way, the lateness is not as serious. This ain’t a club. I get a half hour, but not almost midnight. As the Queen of Hollywood said “Exit to the left” . Look, Nene is as trife as they get at times, but this was way stupid and none of the Bravo blogs address really why they were that late.

    Kandi – damn, girl. Burn those pants you wore and back away from the food. And when you get pregnant and eat for two, one of those ain’t Orson Wells. Her attitude got on my nerves.

    Porsha – I know that some of the newer coffee makers are not easy, but damn! Creamer and coffee are two different things. And I am not in the mood for Alexis Blackllino. Normally, dumb ones do not bother me as much, but I think she is one of those dumb bitches that likes to say nasty things to other women because she is pretty.

    Kenya – That five seconds you were in “Waiting to Exhale” was the best five seconds evah! :) And gurl, “Haitian Nights” is a tour de force! I wanted to comment on the movie’s official site, but I needed to buy the domain name first.

    Phaedra – sho’ enough, you can tell when a woman is expecting – her mint julep is a-bubblin’ like mush on a summah day. I just want her to get a fan and a hoop skirt already.

    Cynthia – taking one for the team – WTF does that mean? Just get your ass there on time. Just pretend it is one of your pageants and,….oh, never mind…

  9. 9
    Neecy
    Posted March 8, 2013 at 7:05 pm

    Ok. What dinner party in LA that starts at 9:00 pm is over, cleaned up, and all the drunks gone home by midnite? Why didn’t we see any shots of Nene’s party? Bravo cameras would have been all over Ne-Ne’s party if she had one. We didn’t see one hors d’oerve (?), one purple drank, one party guest, not one shot of the fabulous food — nothing.

    I don’t believe she had a party. I think it was producer-made drama.

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