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Last week on RHOA, Nene had a parade, Kenya and Cynthia feuded and the others moved their booties or houses. We also had no idea who Porsha was; I miss those days.
Nene and Gregg get pedicures together. Gregg is so desperate to get back together with Nene that it’s actually unattractive and annoying at this point. Nene is full of life, energy and teeth and Gregg is just…full. He keeps reciting poems to Nene that may have worked on his sweetheart after WW II but that just doesn’t work on today’s woman. Nene is embarrassed, or so she says, and wishes Gregg would stop with the adoration.She wants him to keep Brentt while she goes away for work and he begs for a key to her house and heart. Yuck. He even gives her a key to his house which she doesn’t want. Nene’s Loubotins alone would fill the entire backseat of the Charger. Lawrence, who’s getting even more screen time this season, drops by since his hair salon is just 17 miles up the street.
Apollo and Phaedra are celebrating his certificate in personal training and nutrition. It’s so great that he’s doing everything Phaedra’s ever dreamed of this week. It’s rare to see an attorney who practices law on the side. Usually the degree you pay the most for takes precedence but not Mrs. Parks. She’s a people burying, pet funeralizing, donkey butt creating jack of all trades. Apollo is going to assist in this venture because Phaedra gave him and his penis a place to live straight out of jail and they discuss all things donkey booty related. Phaedra wants a workout that’s not too hard because Apollo can be like Arnold Schwarznegger on bath salts. Points to Phaedra for keeping up on the drugs that will bring her new clients. FYI, she doesn’t like zombies on bath salts. One bit her right before she graduated from law school. Black women don’t like to sweat their hair out. In Phaedra’s terms, it goes into various stages of afroism. It’s like Taoism but with collard greens. Did anyone catch her sliding her finger down the crack of her butt while discussing this? Sustained!
Kim, Kroy and Sweetie are discussing their eminent move. Kim is pissed that she put $40,000 of flowers into the house for her wedding and wants to dig all of them up before she moves. I understand that marriage is a thrice in a lifetime experience for Kim, but that’s her own fault. Who puts that much money into a rented home? And unless you can roll it, smoke it or sell it, who pays that much for plants?