Kim may have to give up her home, which a commenter pointed up may very well be 70,000 sq.feet, for her dump of a townhouse. It’s the one she brought with her one woman performance of The Vagina Monologues. That hellhole is only 5,000 sq. feet! She’s 14 times more likely to bump into one of her horrific offspring in a house that size. The silliest part of it all is that her townhouse has been vacant all this time. It doesn’t matter how much they make, that place should have been rented out during this time.
Sweetie takes notes on all of the things they would do if they actually worked. Kim continues to whine and make really, really scary faces. Kroy is still looking as constipated as ever. I don’t know if it’s the cameras or Black people but he always seems a little stiff unless he’s at home with the kids. Sweetie called Kim a white chocolate bitch or something along those lines and Kim and Kroy exchanged some weird glances with Kim cutting a comment short. I’m sure that they don’t see color and love everyone but I also kinda feel like they have un-politically correct conversations between their sheets. Their white, crispy sheets. Oh and ten bucks says Sweetie is pregnant with Kroy’s white chocolate baby on their spin-off.
Kim: We can never have a conversation without this creature interfering.
Kroy: I told you a dog and two babies was too much.
Kim: I’m talking about Sweetie.
Porsha Williams-Stewart finally makes it onto the screen and she’s in the opening credits. She introduces herself as being from the Williams family. Congratulations. You now join the ranks of 18 million other Black people. Unless she’s related to Vanessa, Wendy, Serena or Venus it’s not ringing an immediate bell. Turns out she’s the granddaughter of Hosea Williams, MLK’s right hand man. Porsha ending up on this show, was not the dream. Quick bio: she’s a princess, met her man at 27 and was married by 30 as per her wishes, hasn’t had to wash a dish or sweep the floor since she’s been with him and hangs out with her friends all day. So she’s basically one of Cinderella’s busted stepsisters. Awesome.
Porsha has lunch with Kenya and asks her to be a special guest at their annual charity event. It’s a huge event in Atlanta held by her charity which provides food etc…to people who are struggling in the midst of this thing that we’re in. You know that thing where people stay home all day because even though they want to work, they can’t find a job. Oh yeah, a recession. Porsha had trouble remembering that pesky little term and continues to serve as a wonderful figure head for this charity. By the way, I could have sworn she said her grandfather died in 1998 but everywhere I looked said 2000. I could be wrong. Anyway, Kenya is happy to lend her name to the event. Porsha mentions that Phaedra, Kandi and Nene are sponsors but basically just show up, take pictures and leave but don’t like to get their hands dirty. The conversation should have transitioned gracefully into other areas but instead Porsha asks if Kenya is married. Then she asks if she has kids, wants kids, ever been married and her opinion on the escalating violence in the Middle East. Just kidding. She doesn’t know how to say Middle East.
Did I mention that Porsha is straight dumb? I try not to judge people in real life but since this is reality TV I can safely say that I don’t like her. Sometimes, the bimbo thing works but she’s 31 and acts 16. She says that she wants to have kids before 35, she has a Chinese calendar that guarantees she’ll have a boy and a girl, compares Kenya’s aging reproductive organs to those of her 43 year old aunt (who has a fertility doctor Kenya may want to meet; it involves Asian Easter methods) and asks her to wear her crown and “satchel” to the charity event.
Porsha: So, like, why do we park in the driveway and drive on the parkway? Life is deep.
“You’re as dumb as I am crazy.”
“Why didn’t Martin Luther King ever wear his crown? If I was a king, I’d wear one. I’m only a princess so I wear Chanel glasses instead.”
“Are you related to Cynthia?”
Nene is in NY getting ready for events related to her new show and Cynthia who’s in town doing some “modeling” hangs out with her. I’ve no doubt that Cynthia is working but I want to see what it is. Why wouldn’t they tape her shoot for the show? I sense a staged conspiracy that only Porsha can senselessly question.