RHOA Recap: I Have a Nightmare

Recaps

By L Boogie | Wednesday, November 21, 2012 | 9:00 am | 17 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Real Housewives of Atlanta, Recaps

Cynthia insists that Nene experience the real NY with her because when Cynthia went to NY as a teenager, she was broke and had to do things the broke way. I’m not sure that it’s any different for her today but I guess saying all of this excuses the fact that she’s staying at a hostel and eats $2.00 hot dogs. I’ve noticed that once people get to a certain age, all they do is talk about what’s wrong with them or discuss what they used to be. It’s like, live in the present. Slouch and pout while draped on something but please stop telling me about what happened 25 years ago. Also, Nene is rightfully staying at a fancy schmancy hotel. I don’t watch this show to see broke heifers staying at a Rodeway Inn. If I wanted to see that, I’d look at my vacation slides from last summer. Yes, the projector still works.

Cynthia: The rats I lived with were this big. We also had a hot dog vendor downstairs that had hot dogs the same size!
Nene: And you don’t think that was a weird coincidence?

Back in GA, Kandi is moving to her new house and has to get a move on it because she has someone renting hers. You gotta love how Bravo does this. They always juxtapose the ridiculous antics of one cast member with the smart moves of another. There’s not much to see here except her uncle seems to be as fixated on sex as Kandi when he starts talking about hump straps and some herb called Bo Hog root that’s better than Viagra. Oh, and Kandi doesn’t trust anyone with her Grammy Awards. Her aunt is helping her pack and when she asks if Kandi wants to help wrap something, she replies with “not really but I will.” She’s a girl after my own heart. I’d rather listen to Kim shriek for 17 hours before I get involved with that moving crap. It’s such a drag. Plus, I think she’s paying them. Family or not they better get their old bones moving for that check (which can only be redeemed for Bedroom Kandi products).

Maybe if she stands really still they won’t know she’s there.

Phaedra and Kenya get together for drinks and dessert at a bar. Kenya quickly makes friends at the bar by yelling “barkeep, barkeep!” repeatedly. That’s probably a good way to avoid being slipped a roofie. Who’d want to risk waking up to that the next morning? Since Kenya has a production company they decide to work together on the donkey booty work out DVD. So this is how it all begins…

 Kenya: I really want to have a baby and would love to steal your husband while producing your workout DVD.
Phaedra: What was that first part?
Kenya: I said my mentally ill mother abandoned me, I’m dating a weirdo who should be thanking his lucky stars that I’m willing to be seen in public with him, my eggs are shriveling as we speak and all I want to do is produce your workout DVD. 
Phaedra: You know what they say. When one door opens, a hole of an equal or greater size fashioned into the shape of a square, containing glass will gently ease it’s way up through it’s mechanical inner workings.
Kenya: No one has ever said that.

The throwaway clip of the night is Kim learning to use a fire extinguisher because there was a small, totally non-suspicious fire at their house. She fails at it as she does life. Next!

“Hey Sweetie, good thing you’re already Black. If you catch on fire it won’t matter. What? If I were Black, I’d set myself on fire everyday. I don’t see color. Let’s set an Obama poster on fire and put that out, love muffin.”

Back in NYC, Nene rides the subway. Poor Nene, it’s probably full of Twitter people. She actually meets a couple of fans.

Nene: Put your damn hands down. I may be tall but I am not a flag pole. Bloop bloop!
Boy fan: I was just hoping you’d choke me like you did Kim a few years ago. 

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17 Comments

  1. 1
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted November 21, 2012 at 9:34 am

    UGH I am so behind on this show, shame on me! I will catch up and get back in the game!

  2. 2
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted November 21, 2012 at 10:02 am

    Nene loved every minute of Gregg doting on her. She loves attention. Wench.

    Why does Phadrea insist on wearing ill fitted push up bras? Her breast look ridiculous each week.

    Ok 40K in plants…for the WEDDING?!!!? Kimberly you have to tone it down. I wonder how much of a budget Bravo gave her versus what she put up herself. I mean she could probably write it off as a tax deduction but that’s how the rich keep their money.

    While I don’t like Kenya she was in the right for being miffed about Porsche not remembering her title. She worked hard for it and would like to be addressed properly. Porsche has been on the radio quite a bit down her lately. Ugh she is awful. She truly is a spoiled brat. I can’t wait to see what happens when the girls start fighting.

    The season is starting off slow, but so did NY and that turned out fantastic. I hope it’s the same for Atlanta.

    LBoogie most people don’t really want to be on the housewives. Probably the reason why you wouldn’t see the celebrities at the charity event, but you will see them out and about around the city. :) Hosea feed the hungry is a HUGE charity here in Atlanta and many celebrities are apart of it and donate quite well to it.

  3. 3
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted November 21, 2012 at 11:00 am

    Those deductions make the all the difference, they can keep you flush In Plinko chips or make your man fall off the mountain! $1.00

    Porche and her Husband will be broker than broke if he keeps giving her cash and not putting that money ins a tax sheltered product. Get your money right ladies!

  4. 4
    missV
    Posted November 21, 2012 at 11:09 am

    Porche is shockingly dumb and she made me take Kenya’s side in the fact that Porche should have been better prepared for the event on her speaking points. Standing outside and bashing the host though? Trash.

    Nene has been calm so far this season and even though she’s less entertaining, it’s cool to see one of these women use this trashy show as a platform for a real career.

  5. 5
    missV
    Posted November 21, 2012 at 11:12 am

    by less entertaining I mean if you find the constant screaming matches with Kim entertaining…

  6. 6
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted November 21, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    Plinkoooooo!

  7. 7
    HoneyBunny3
    Posted November 22, 2012 at 1:04 am

    I think Kenya is turning out to be my favorite this season, besides Kandi. She is definitely somewhat crazy, but actually has some accomplishments to her name, unlike the Kim or Sheree, and she is genuinely entertaining. Kim is irritating the hell out of me w/ her highfalutin BS and her out of control ego. Just because she married some unknown football player now she is too good for everyone? Not one house in Atlanta is good enough for Kim? She is going to be eating major crow one day when the money is gone and reality TV producers lose an interest in her.

  8. 8
    atlgirl
    Posted November 22, 2012 at 9:23 am

    I think you have Kim and Kroy pegged exactly right. I think they have a lot of non-PC pillow talk after the cameras are gone. Kroy never seems really comfortable when he’s around Sweetie. Plus, it’s a red flag to me whenever a person goes on and on about how they don’t see color, it’s just not possible. Kim and Kroy are practically off the show now anyway, they never film with anyone else but Sweetie, who isn’t a housewife, and occasionally Kandi.

    I can’t believe Porsha almost made me agree with Kenya! Don’t get me wrong, Kenya was very rude, but from what I saw, that event was poorly organized. You couldn’t tell from the size of that event, but that charity is the most well-known here in Atlanta and I was expecting to see a lot more. I don’t think she is actually in charge of anything, maybe her aunt or whoever else handles the real fundraising and they just let her throw a party or hand out food occasionally to keep her occupied.

  9. 9
    atlgirl
    Posted November 22, 2012 at 9:33 am

    http://4hosea.org/page/our-staff-board

  10. 10
    realhousewivesfan
    Posted November 22, 2012 at 12:18 pm

    I love the additions of Porcha and Kenya, like i knew i would! those 2 add so much to this show. without them it would be the same stale crap from previous seasons! i actually feel Entertained now that Cynthia is getting less screen time, that bitch needs to get stepping, NOT Kim but i’m accepting the change with this season and Atlanta is the only “black-people show” hate to say it like that, that i watch. No basketball wives, LA, Detroit whatever. I am dyeing to start the Kenya/Apollo/Phaedra workout video!!

  11. 11
    shellshell
    Posted November 23, 2012 at 12:57 pm

    The Housewives franchise has gotten so predictable in the formula but ATL is still fun. Porsche (sp?) is frustrating because I think she’s pretty dumb but not THAT dumb. Love that Kenya, mouthy bitch that she is. She really is taking the shine from some of the original cast members (Cynthia).

  12. 12
    NotWithoutMyTV NotWithoutMyTV
    Posted November 26, 2012 at 5:17 am

    i did start the nu Kendra/Appollo/Phaedra workout video and i did dye!

  13. 13
    Jason
    Posted November 26, 2012 at 8:07 am

    MLK died so that Porsha could be a spoiled, barely literate, rich bimbo who makes Paris Hilton look like a philosophy professor from Harvard.

    That’s equality for you.

  14. 14
    LAC LAC
    Posted November 26, 2012 at 8:23 am

    Thank you for the recap. I have to get up and walk away from this mess often, as I fear the stupid ‘ho gamma rays will get me. :)

    Nene – yep, the Greg foot kissing is gag inducing, but she is lovin’ it, secretly. People crawling after her behind is an aphodiasic for Mizz Nene… It was painful watching her staggering around in those loubotins down those subway stairs. Good ole Guide Cynthia – I can just hear her now – “Now, Nene, we are going to walk down this alleyway and see if we can see a New York bum or get a New York mugging! This is keeping it real in Manhattan!” Idiot…

    Kim – shhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaddddddduuuuuup already! I am so fucking tired of listening to that heiffa shuffle around, whining about the house or having to make any decisions harder than what to stuff in her mouth. I never met anyone who makes simple tasks, like opening a door, look like she is splitting the atom. When is this bitch checking out already?

    Phaedra – I think I covered this with you earlier, boo. Apollo, shirt off when he is at home. Yeah, whatever happened to her law practice? You do not earn those horns and tail by being an absentee attorney – I know. :)

    Kandi – keep on keeping on. While Kim is trying to fit her self portraits and Versace china back into the house her vajayjay built, you are doing it right.

    Kenya – cray cray continues. It must be a tribute to how loathsome I find Porsha that I was on Crisco Kenya’s side this episode.

    Porsha – I would love to put her stupid ass in a wayback machine, so that she could get an eyeful as to what her grandfather’s work was actually about. Also, I loathe women of that age group that think being Princess Bougie is cute.

  15. 15
    Selena
    Posted November 26, 2012 at 9:31 am

    Greg’s feet were disgusting. No more filming people getting pedicures please. Yuck!

  16. 16
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted November 26, 2012 at 9:58 am

    Cosign on no more pedicure close ups. Same to BCG if Oxygen can hear me! Bleech!

  17. 17
    Susanl
    Posted November 27, 2012 at 9:12 am

    Kim really needs to shut up. I would say I can’t believe Kroy puts up with that filthy mouth in front of his kids but he’s just plain stupid because he married her. Once he’s out of money, she will be out of there but still collecting his child support the way she does those other two kids.

    Porche (sic) is stupid. I can’t wait for someone to point out that her grandfather was also a drunk that not only ran into another car drunk but also hit a pedestrian while DRUNK too! He had a horrible record while serving on the Atlanta City Council. He rarely showed up. He had some good points but he was no saint! Didn’t she say that this particular event was \about the children\? And you don’t invite someone and not correctly introduce them. Kenya is coocoo but had a right to be upset.

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