Cynthia insists that Nene experience the real NY with her because when Cynthia went to NY as a teenager, she was broke and had to do things the broke way. I’m not sure that it’s any different for her today but I guess saying all of this excuses the fact that she’s staying at a hostel and eats $2.00 hot dogs. I’ve noticed that once people get to a certain age, all they do is talk about what’s wrong with them or discuss what they used to be. It’s like, live in the present. Slouch and pout while draped on something but please stop telling me about what happened 25 years ago. Also, Nene is rightfully staying at a fancy schmancy hotel. I don’t watch this show to see broke heifers staying at a Rodeway Inn. If I wanted to see that, I’d look at my vacation slides from last summer. Yes, the projector still works.
Cynthia: The rats I lived with were this big. We also had a hot dog vendor downstairs that had hot dogs the same size!
Nene: And you don’t think that was a weird coincidence?
Back in GA, Kandi is moving to her new house and has to get a move on it because she has someone renting hers. You gotta love how Bravo does this. They always juxtapose the ridiculous antics of one cast member with the smart moves of another. There’s not much to see here except her uncle seems to be as fixated on sex as Kandi when he starts talking about hump straps and some herb called Bo Hog root that’s better than Viagra. Oh, and Kandi doesn’t trust anyone with her Grammy Awards. Her aunt is helping her pack and when she asks if Kandi wants to help wrap something, she replies with “not really but I will.” She’s a girl after my own heart. I’d rather listen to Kim shriek for 17 hours before I get involved with that moving crap. It’s such a drag. Plus, I think she’s paying them. Family or not they better get their old bones moving for that check (which can only be redeemed for Bedroom Kandi products).
Maybe if she stands really still they won’t know she’s there.
Phaedra and Kenya get together for drinks and dessert at a bar. Kenya quickly makes friends at the bar by yelling “barkeep, barkeep!” repeatedly. That’s probably a good way to avoid being slipped a roofie. Who’d want to risk waking up to that the next morning? Since Kenya has a production company they decide to work together on the donkey booty work out DVD. So this is how it all begins…
Kenya: I really want to have a baby and would love to steal your husband while producing your workout DVD.
Phaedra: What was that first part?
Kenya: I said my mentally ill mother abandoned me, I’m dating a weirdo who should be thanking his lucky stars that I’m willing to be seen in public with him, my eggs are shriveling as we speak and all I want to do is produce your workout DVD.
Phaedra: You know what they say. When one door opens, a hole of an equal or greater size fashioned into the shape of a square, containing glass will gently ease it’s way up through it’s mechanical inner workings.
Kenya: No one has ever said that.
The throwaway clip of the night is Kim learning to use a fire extinguisher because there was a small, totally non-suspicious fire at their house. She fails at it as she does life. Next!
“Hey Sweetie, good thing you’re already Black. If you catch on fire it won’t matter. What? If I were Black, I’d set myself on fire everyday. I don’t see color. Let’s set an Obama poster on fire and put that out, love muffin.”
Back in NYC, Nene rides the subway. Poor Nene, it’s probably full of Twitter people. She actually meets a couple of fans.
Nene: Put your damn hands down. I may be tall but I am not a flag pole. Bloop bloop!
Boy fan: I was just hoping you’d choke me like you did Kim a few years ago.