RHOA Recap: I Have a Nightmare

Recaps

By L Boogie | Wednesday, November 21, 2012 | 9:00 am | 17 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Real Housewives of Atlanta, Recaps

I definitely call shenanigans on this next part. Cynthia insists on eating a rat dog from one of those dirty water trucks. First of all, do people really ask for a New York hot dog when they get a hot dog in NY? Like is that a style of hot dog or was Cynthia taking the script super literally? And, since when do women work at these carts?!

 Cynthia: I’d like one New York hot dog with New York mustard, New York ketchup and New York relish.
Nene: Am I the only seeing this? You know this is Kate from the editing department, right?

It’s time for the charity event! I am impressed; two events in two weeks and none of them had to be planned for half the season! Porsha has made this event for women only but her husband manages to sneak in because I think it’s also her birthday. He presents her with a Chanel bag at a charity event. Seriously. Who in their right mind does this type of thing? Ugh!! I can understand surprising her with a bouquet of flowers as the hostess of the event who is also celebrating a birthday but when your charity helps the homeless and hungry, presenting an ostentatious gift like that is just tacky. He also donated $200,000 to the charity. I hope he did well for himself and managed his NFL money well but it’s got to be easy to write checks like that when your wife is collecting and depositing it…right back into your own account (or using it as a write off).

Anyway, Kenya arrives at the event with one guest and has invited Miss Lawrence even though he is a man and therefore, not welcome. Porsha either didn’t catch that detail or was too wrapped up in her own mind to care so she just proceeded with the event. I’ve been to many charity events and although I’m sure this is edited heavily, she was a terrible hostess, speaker and presenter. First of all, she should have had notes on exactly what she wanted to say and the correct title of anyone she felt needed acknowledgment. I learned a long time ago that you address people properly or you do not address anyone at all in order to not offend them and/or look like an idiot. We all know that Kenya is two New York hot dogs short of a staged scene, but Porsha should have done a simple Google search and gotten Kenya’s title correct.


“We have Miss America – I’m sorry what was it? Mrs. Doubtfire? Huh? Miss Jane Pittman? Oh, Miss USA Ninety ninety something.”

Kenya: It was Miss USA, Corvette.
Woman in Back: *Sniff* They never let me sit at the adult table.  

“Isn’t this how beauty queens wave? Haha!”


Kenya: Wow, I haven’t heard that joke in at least two hours.
Woman in Back: Seriously guys. I promise I won’t eat all the crab dip.


“ I’m not all fun and games though; I got this tattoo for justice.” 

So, I think I like Kenya. I see her value. She’s crazy, unpredictable and knows how to read people too. She did walk in with a chip on her shoulder but Porsha may have oversold her event just a bit. Although I’m sure there were very respectable women there, a huge event in Atlanta gives the impression that a lot of instantly recognizable people will be there. I spent a Labor Day weekend in Atlanta and met a crap load of celebrities and athletes. Not seeing celebrities at an event in Atlanta is like seeing poor models on NY subways eating $2.00 hot dogs. Despite what Cynthia espouses, it doesn’t happen. Models don’t eat. They just kept telling her they did so Cynthia and her donkey booty would have to move to Atlanta.

I call shenanigans on this scene too because Kenya looks more put together for her interview/confessional segments than she did for this event. She had to know that it was going to be a little dry what with her lazy ponytail and feet trying to escape her shoes. Did y’all catch that? Anyway, Kenya goes outside because she is freezing and Porsha just keeps ignoring Kenya’s pleas for warmth. I mean, it’s probably due to her not having a heart to pump blood through her veins, but a gracious hostess could have made an effort to make her guest comfortable. While outside, Kenya calls Lawrence and says that she is leaving because the event is wack and Porsha said her title incorrectly. Lawrence tells her to wait because he is on his way.

“Lord, please forgive Kenya for what she is about to do. Amen and don’t let the lightning hit me.” 

Kenya: I’m so glad you’re here Lawrence. She said that I-
Lawrence: First things first honey, who did your hair? 

Lawrence plays his role that he perfected during the Sheree years which is to dutifully agree with whatever his lady friends say. Porsha pops out once to check on Kenya.

“I just came to let you know that that girl who’s been sitting behind you all night is eating your crab dip.”

After Porsha gets word from the producers, presumably, that Kenya is talking about her and the event outside, Porsha goes out again.


“Who cares what year you won Miss Tic Pizza? This is the 20th century. Show a little bra for goodness sake!”

“First of all I don’t eat crab dip! You would know that if you checked my wikipedia page. Secondly, this is how Miss USA waves. Bye, Toyota!”

Kenya lets Porsha know that she should have gotten her title right. Porsha throws out the “old” card and basically says that it was so long ago no one remembers. Then Porsha tells Kenya that she needs to leave although Kenya was already outside and on her way. In Porsha’s defense, I wouldn’t take kindly to someone bad mouthing my event but without this, there’s no show. Porsha thinks Kenya is classless, Kenya thinks Porsha constantly identifies herself as “the wife of…the granddaughter of…and I think Porsha resembles a tranny duck and should never wear her hair like that again.

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17 Comments

  1. 1
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted November 21, 2012 at 9:34 am

    UGH I am so behind on this show, shame on me! I will catch up and get back in the game!

  2. 2
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted November 21, 2012 at 10:02 am

    Nene loved every minute of Gregg doting on her. She loves attention. Wench.

    Why does Phadrea insist on wearing ill fitted push up bras? Her breast look ridiculous each week.

    Ok 40K in plants…for the WEDDING?!!!? Kimberly you have to tone it down. I wonder how much of a budget Bravo gave her versus what she put up herself. I mean she could probably write it off as a tax deduction but that’s how the rich keep their money.

    While I don’t like Kenya she was in the right for being miffed about Porsche not remembering her title. She worked hard for it and would like to be addressed properly. Porsche has been on the radio quite a bit down her lately. Ugh she is awful. She truly is a spoiled brat. I can’t wait to see what happens when the girls start fighting.

    The season is starting off slow, but so did NY and that turned out fantastic. I hope it’s the same for Atlanta.

    LBoogie most people don’t really want to be on the housewives. Probably the reason why you wouldn’t see the celebrities at the charity event, but you will see them out and about around the city. :) Hosea feed the hungry is a HUGE charity here in Atlanta and many celebrities are apart of it and donate quite well to it.

  3. 3
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted November 21, 2012 at 11:00 am

    Those deductions make the all the difference, they can keep you flush In Plinko chips or make your man fall off the mountain! $1.00

    Porche and her Husband will be broker than broke if he keeps giving her cash and not putting that money ins a tax sheltered product. Get your money right ladies!

  4. 4
    missV
    Posted November 21, 2012 at 11:09 am

    Porche is shockingly dumb and she made me take Kenya’s side in the fact that Porche should have been better prepared for the event on her speaking points. Standing outside and bashing the host though? Trash.

    Nene has been calm so far this season and even though she’s less entertaining, it’s cool to see one of these women use this trashy show as a platform for a real career.

  5. 5
    missV
    Posted November 21, 2012 at 11:12 am

    by less entertaining I mean if you find the constant screaming matches with Kim entertaining…

  6. 6
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted November 21, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    Plinkoooooo!

  7. 7
    HoneyBunny3
    Posted November 22, 2012 at 1:04 am

    I think Kenya is turning out to be my favorite this season, besides Kandi. She is definitely somewhat crazy, but actually has some accomplishments to her name, unlike the Kim or Sheree, and she is genuinely entertaining. Kim is irritating the hell out of me w/ her highfalutin BS and her out of control ego. Just because she married some unknown football player now she is too good for everyone? Not one house in Atlanta is good enough for Kim? She is going to be eating major crow one day when the money is gone and reality TV producers lose an interest in her.

  8. 8
    atlgirl
    Posted November 22, 2012 at 9:23 am

    I think you have Kim and Kroy pegged exactly right. I think they have a lot of non-PC pillow talk after the cameras are gone. Kroy never seems really comfortable when he’s around Sweetie. Plus, it’s a red flag to me whenever a person goes on and on about how they don’t see color, it’s just not possible. Kim and Kroy are practically off the show now anyway, they never film with anyone else but Sweetie, who isn’t a housewife, and occasionally Kandi.

    I can’t believe Porsha almost made me agree with Kenya! Don’t get me wrong, Kenya was very rude, but from what I saw, that event was poorly organized. You couldn’t tell from the size of that event, but that charity is the most well-known here in Atlanta and I was expecting to see a lot more. I don’t think she is actually in charge of anything, maybe her aunt or whoever else handles the real fundraising and they just let her throw a party or hand out food occasionally to keep her occupied.

  9. 9
    atlgirl
    Posted November 22, 2012 at 9:33 am

    http://4hosea.org/page/our-staff-board

  10. 10
    realhousewivesfan
    Posted November 22, 2012 at 12:18 pm

    I love the additions of Porcha and Kenya, like i knew i would! those 2 add so much to this show. without them it would be the same stale crap from previous seasons! i actually feel Entertained now that Cynthia is getting less screen time, that bitch needs to get stepping, NOT Kim but i’m accepting the change with this season and Atlanta is the only “black-people show” hate to say it like that, that i watch. No basketball wives, LA, Detroit whatever. I am dyeing to start the Kenya/Apollo/Phaedra workout video!!

  11. 11
    shellshell
    Posted November 23, 2012 at 12:57 pm

    The Housewives franchise has gotten so predictable in the formula but ATL is still fun. Porsche (sp?) is frustrating because I think she’s pretty dumb but not THAT dumb. Love that Kenya, mouthy bitch that she is. She really is taking the shine from some of the original cast members (Cynthia).

  12. 12
    NotWithoutMyTV NotWithoutMyTV
    Posted November 26, 2012 at 5:17 am

    i did start the nu Kendra/Appollo/Phaedra workout video and i did dye!

  13. 13
    Jason
    Posted November 26, 2012 at 8:07 am

    MLK died so that Porsha could be a spoiled, barely literate, rich bimbo who makes Paris Hilton look like a philosophy professor from Harvard.

    That’s equality for you.

  14. 14
    LAC LAC
    Posted November 26, 2012 at 8:23 am

    Thank you for the recap. I have to get up and walk away from this mess often, as I fear the stupid ‘ho gamma rays will get me. :)

    Nene – yep, the Greg foot kissing is gag inducing, but she is lovin’ it, secretly. People crawling after her behind is an aphodiasic for Mizz Nene… It was painful watching her staggering around in those loubotins down those subway stairs. Good ole Guide Cynthia – I can just hear her now – “Now, Nene, we are going to walk down this alleyway and see if we can see a New York bum or get a New York mugging! This is keeping it real in Manhattan!” Idiot…

    Kim – shhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaddddddduuuuuup already! I am so fucking tired of listening to that heiffa shuffle around, whining about the house or having to make any decisions harder than what to stuff in her mouth. I never met anyone who makes simple tasks, like opening a door, look like she is splitting the atom. When is this bitch checking out already?

    Phaedra – I think I covered this with you earlier, boo. Apollo, shirt off when he is at home. Yeah, whatever happened to her law practice? You do not earn those horns and tail by being an absentee attorney – I know. :)

    Kandi – keep on keeping on. While Kim is trying to fit her self portraits and Versace china back into the house her vajayjay built, you are doing it right.

    Kenya – cray cray continues. It must be a tribute to how loathsome I find Porsha that I was on Crisco Kenya’s side this episode.

    Porsha – I would love to put her stupid ass in a wayback machine, so that she could get an eyeful as to what her grandfather’s work was actually about. Also, I loathe women of that age group that think being Princess Bougie is cute.

  15. 15
    Selena
    Posted November 26, 2012 at 9:31 am

    Greg’s feet were disgusting. No more filming people getting pedicures please. Yuck!

  16. 16
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted November 26, 2012 at 9:58 am

    Cosign on no more pedicure close ups. Same to BCG if Oxygen can hear me! Bleech!

  17. 17
    Susanl
    Posted November 27, 2012 at 9:12 am

    Kim really needs to shut up. I would say I can’t believe Kroy puts up with that filthy mouth in front of his kids but he’s just plain stupid because he married her. Once he’s out of money, she will be out of there but still collecting his child support the way she does those other two kids.

    Porche (sic) is stupid. I can’t wait for someone to point out that her grandfather was also a drunk that not only ran into another car drunk but also hit a pedestrian while DRUNK too! He had a horrible record while serving on the Atlanta City Council. He rarely showed up. He had some good points but he was no saint! Didn’t she say that this particular event was \about the children\? And you don’t invite someone and not correctly introduce them. Kenya is coocoo but had a right to be upset.

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