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Wednesday, November 7, 2012
10:00 am
35 Comments
Good day dear readers. We’re back for Season 5 of RHOA. We’ve lost Sheree but we’ve gained a psychotic former Miss USA, Kenya Moore. No Real Housewives season opener would be complete without listening for new tag lines at the beginning.
Nene: I have arrived and the spotlight is on me honey. That’s not a spotlight. It’s your gleaming halo of yellow hair.
Kim: I asked, believed and received. Asked for a rich man who believed when she said she was on birth control & she’ll be receiving 20 years of football $$.
Kandi: I may be small, but my empire keeps on growing. Empire in many languages also means butt.
Phaedra: I’m a southern belle; brains, booty and all business. You’re an attorney. Stop it!
Kenya: I won Miss USA, not Miss Congeniality. Duh…that was Sandra Bullock.
Cynthia: Beauty fades but class is forever. We know you have lots of class because you don’t need money to buy it. My friends.
Things open up with Nene, reportedly the highest paid housewife of them all. She’s divorced from Gregg but he still comes around, picks up the mail and follows behind her in case any loose change falls out of her purse. As you may recall from two seasons or so ago, Gregg spent $300,000 of his own money to make her into what she is. Unfortunately for Gregg he said this on a radio show, Nene and the whole world heard it, and now he’s living in the Dodge Charger that Nene bought for Bryce last year. Nene wants to go to L.A, since she’s a big time star who’ll be shooting a new sitcom. Gregg immediately asks when they’re leaving and Nene never really replies because she’s a big time star who’ll be shooting a new sitcom. She leaves him with a little hope though and an order:
“I need you to get your sexy back.”
“That’s gonna be kinda hard with you dressing up like Hulk Hogan.”
Next up is Kandi. We learned last year that Kandi had met and moved in with Todd who works or worked for Bravo. They met on the trip to South Africa, have already purchased a house together and are talking kids. Kandi drops a precious little tidbit that they both like the name Kash for a baby boy. We all know who ended up naming their baby Kash. She steals songs and baby names! Anyway, Kandi’s still stuffing her face, which I feel is commendable since no other housewife seems as comfortable chowing down on camera, and reliving all of the wonderful moments they’ve shared.
Kandi demonstrating the skill that got Todd to commit to her.
So last year I pretty much hated Kim. I’m not even sure that I remember why but I just couldn’t deal with her. It might have been her materialism, pimping men (or women) and denying it or fake cancer story from Season 1 but I’ve entered this season judgement free. I’ve been listening to self help tapes. Yes I said tapes. I haven’t yet accepted that I deserve to own a Sony Discman with Mega Bass.
Kim, the lovely little housewife she is, is opening birthday presents for KJ. First, Kroy’s parents send a stuffed animal or two which I believe were Kroy’s. The bonus of having a younger husband: the toys are still in style. I’m almost positive I saw a stuffed Dark Knight doll in that box. Last Christmas, I got a hood ornament from my great-grandfather’s Buick, my elementary school uniform and old monogrammed towels that I’d gotten when I was nine. Seriously. The funny thing is, I loved all of it! I’m too damn old to be looking for gifts from people. Anygift, Kim remarks that the $25.00 to KJ from her parents is okay because it’s what her parents can afford. Maybe my priorities are skewed, but isn’t $25.00 pretty decent for a kid who can’t even say twenty five dollars.
The infamous house issue is finally addressed. Remember how Kim was so insistent that her house be decorated before she moved into it? Well, it seems she forgot to drop that check in the mail for Kenya, the decorator/landlord. Also, she and Kroy leased the house and planned to buy it contingent upon an appraisal that had yet to be done. Here I go again with my skewed priorities. Shouldn’t that have been done before decorating, moving in and declaring in front of the country that she was not being evicted from her home? Long story short, the house isn’t worth buying, they plan to move but the landlord will not extend the lease. I think. Kim’s a squatter. She’s literally just going to stay in the house until they are legally evicted. As a landlord, I want to bludgeon her. As a recapper, I want to bludgeon her while typing about it.
“Kim, we can worry about being evicted later! I need to figure out how to open this here can. Do I use my teef?”
I don’t even know what to say about Phaedra. I like her and her one liners but I saw this twice and can barely remember what she did this episode. I know she met with a vet about expanding her business to include pet funerals but it seemed that she failed to make a connection with the doctor/lover of animals.
“These are lovely doors. Are they made out of elephant tusks? I brought home a pair after we went to South Africa last year. I threw them out. They clashed with my snakeskin toothbrush and bald eagle alarm clock. So what’s the best way to make money off of fools who have pets?”
Cynthia reminds me of Carole from RHONYC in the sense that she’s probably the most normal but also the most likely to pull off a weird situation. Leon, her daughter’s father, comes traipsing down the steps of her home that she lives in with her current husband. Wha?? At first I thought I saw it wrong but then I realized that this is hotter than I could have ever imagined. Leon in the same house as Cynthia?! She probably begs Peter to work late at those “pool parties” at Bar One. By the way, this group might be a little boring but they are so gorgeous it doesn’t matter. The big issue in Cynthia’s household is that she wants Noelle to be homeschooled because it’s what she prefers and Leon does not. They go back and forth until Noelle walks in and confirms that she…drumroll please….wants to go to school!
Cynthia: Noelle loves being homeschooled.
Noelle: But mom, I spend all my time teaching your models how to sign contracts without reading them.
Kandi has invited Kim over to see her new house and wow. Kim immediately comments that only one side of Kandi’s gate opens. First of all, she has a gate that she OWNS and all of the property. Sweetie comments that it’s ghetto. Oh, I forgot to mention that Sweetie is back. She’s not wearing that frosted pink lipstick anymore though as Courtney Stodden has purchased every tube known to man. Kim then comments that surely Kandi is redoing the house and it was a foreclosure.
As they start the tour, Kim says that Sweetie warned her about the neighborhood. Few things are as insulting as putting down one’s house and neighborhood. It happens to me all of the time and Teresa Giudice didn’t help by proclaiming that she’s from “Paterson, bitch!” Most of us just got power restored from the hurricane and a woman at work said to me that there better be power in downtown Paterson or else people will be rioting and looting. Not only was power out in some of those areas, there was none of that behavior whatsoever. It’s just obnoxious. I have a special appreciation for Kandi keeping it together but I also think she’s making Peter look right (when he called her a pushover in relation to Kim).
Kim also said she locked her doors. Was she scared someone was going to reach into the car and give her birth control? Give her rent money? Return Sweetie to her rightful owner? Who knows…she goes on to question Kandi’s choice of paint then tells her what color her banister should be etc…. Hate it! Let the girl be happy, decorate at her pace and in her own way and congratulate her. How hard is it to just ooh and aah at your friend’s new house? Then again, Kim is pregnant and we know from Phaedra’s first season that it can make amusing people insufferable. Kim looks down on Kandi’s indoor pool but says it’s okay because Kandi is Black and doesn’t need to tan. I’m done. It was so awkward and unnecessary to say that. Kim has claimed several times that she doesn’t see color but then makes remarks like that. It’s the classic Ricki Lake defense. I don’t see color! My best friend is Black! Some of my best shoe shiners are Black!
Kim: Don’t look now but I think two Black women are kidnapping a fat, White woman.
Sweetie: That’s a mirror Kim.
Kim: That’s an ugly mirror. Kandi must’ve gotten it free with the foreclosure.
Kandi: Kim, this is the guest room you can stay in when you visit. It’s the only room big enough to accommodate your head.
Kenya, just like me Kenya. Anyone remember that doll and song? It was out in the 90′s and I got one for Christmas. She had curly hair that you could make straight with magic lotion. Well this Kenya is not just like me. Instead of her hair changing, it seems her mental stability does. I loved this woman from the time I was a little girl. I remember her winning Miss USA and I always wanted to be like her. She was one of the most beautiful women I’d ever seen. And then she came on RHOA. If anything, my self-esteem has received a significant boost. A beautiful woman is 41, batshit crazy and still single? I’ve still got over a decade before I give up entirely and marry the first pudgy, rich man that comes my way. Okay pudgy, poor man. Okay, man. Okay, anyone who’ll take me to my class reunion so I don’t look like a complete loser.
Kenya meets for lunch with Miss Lawrence whom she’s supposedly known for 12 years. She had some mystery ex in Texas but that didn’t work out and now she’s with some rich Georgian man. She’s been proposed to six times but never went through with it. Now her uterus is ready. We also find out that she hates to lose, likes to win (see, this is the type of crazy shit she says and does) she hates cold, loves hot, hates up, likes down and has a butt that rivals all of her castmates. I don’t get it. My butt isn’t flat but it is NOT on the level of these girls. Is it true? Is it the ham sammiches they eat? That’s what I was told a few years ago. I actually tried it. I am now a vegetarian. Interesting fact: her mother denies ever having had her so her aunt raised her. That. Explains. A lot. We know from previews that she’s a little psycho so here’s hoping everyone who films with her has informed their next of kin.
Incidentally, this is the same photo used on the two ladies’ missing poster.
Nene meets with Ryan Murphy, creator of Glee, New Normal, American Horror Story etc…I may have gotten some of his credits wrong but it doesn’t matter. All that matters is Nene, her Birkin bag, Celebrity Apprentice and Tyler Perry. She crams all of those name drops into 24 seconds. They even call her buddy Tyler but it turns out he’s been forewarned by the RHOA producers and disconnected that line. I sincerely hope that Nene doesn’t truly think that any of these Hollywood people are really her friends. She’s enjoying the ride but needs to stay grounded. Then again, Hollywood loves sassy, Black women so she may work until she’s as old as Zsa Zsa whose number has coincidentally been disconnected as well. By the way, I loved that she and Ryan laughed off Tyler’s number being changed.
Ryan: What are the chances of Kim letting us use Tardy for The Party on Glee?
Nene: Slim to none honey. Kim is a low down monkey with a wig on.
Ryan: Great, let’s totes bash her. She thought Kings of Leon had it bad.
At the Cynthia Bailey School of Agency Modeling and Hair Care Inc, there is a casting call for the Jet Beauty of the Week. In case you’re not aware, it’s a weekly magazine that always features a swimsuit clad woman with interests. I kinda wanted to be one but also knew that all of this couldn’t be contained by paper. By all of this, I am clearly referring to stretch marks. Kenya is one of the judges at the casting call and is very over the top. It’s like she’s auditioning for ANTM which in her mind she probably is. She says that one of the models is a man, asks one why they even showed up and berates one for showing her coochie crack and ass crack. Everyone gets agitated with her rude behavior and one of Cynthia’s employees tries to explain why they need to be gentle with these girls. I’m 99.9% sure that the reason is they need the girls to see a glimmer of hope in their modeling careers so they can keep throwing money and coochie crack at the Bailey Agency School & Deli. To her credit, Kenya asks him a couple of questions first.
“Who are you and why are you talking to me?”
O-to the-MG! He doesn’t take well to that and of course throws out the line regarding who the hell she actually is. I must say, I was a big pageant watcher as a kid so I know of her but it is quite possible that kids under the age of 25 might not know her. She calls him a bitch and then calls for her security because as she tells us during her one on one, people are crazy. Is “people” crazy people code for “I am”. Her security physically moves Carlton, who shockingly did not do the Carlton dance as I’m sure it’s not unusual for him to be shoved by anyone. Cynthia intervenes while Carlton scribbles furiously in his notepad.
“You’re the bitch, bitch! Now what do you want for lunch? I’m going to Arby’s.
Cynthia brings some calm to the situation because everyone, including the other judges, are very annoyed with Kenya. There’s nothing like a pretty person with a nasty personality. It’s like an ice cream cone falling on a floor. You wanna lick it but you can see everything it picked up and you’re too grossed out to go for it. Cynthia lays down some ground rules. They have to give constructive criticism, be supportive of the models and sign co-judge contracts that guarantee they’ll be BJs forever (Best Judges). That’s right Cynthia! Take charge! Show them who’s boss! Wait, what was that? Oh, the auditions are over. Cynthia intervened just in time to look inadequate. The more things change…
Once all the models return to the room, Kenya jumps out of her seat to congratulate all of the girls for making it this far. Immediately afterwards, Cynthia jumps out of her seat and says just about the same thing but prefaces it with her name and the fact that she is the owner of the agency and she’s the one who’s important.
“Congratulations. Now that we’ve coached you, you owe the Cynthia Bailey Agency School of Spirit Fingers ten hundred dollars.”
The stage is set for a Cynthia/Kenya showdown. Phaedra and Nene cozy up and Kandi’s annoyed. Kenya finds out her man tried to date Kandi and you see a flicker of her crazy eyes.
This is the kind of episode that people will probably say is boring but it’s setting everything up for the future. Kim will be exiting, I think, and that’s when Porsha will appear. Some seem to think Nene will do the same but she seems to be in a lot of the previews. And I can not wait for all of the husband flirting misadventures that will take place this season! So what did you think? Was Kim out of line with the Kandi comments? Is Kenya too much already? Will Leon read this and stop by my house for some in person homeschooling?
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35 Comments
You have mad recapping skills and I love it! LOL at the tag lines!
You’re so kind, thank you!
Loved the re-cap.. great job….
Can’t stand Kim still, like she is in competetion with Kandi about the house, too bad she doesn’t realize she is homeless and Kandi aint…
100K to move ? Thats what I owe left on my mortgage for creeps sake…
Loved how you mentioned the baby name/song stealing reference.. I said the same thing whilst sipping my Grigio
Kim actually makes me cringe every time she hits the screen. My only explaination for her relationship with Kroy is that she is doing one of the following: 1) holding someone hostage; 2) blackmailing him; or 3) continually feeding him a date rape drug.
Thanks Pyper! Kim was so obnoxious about the house. Definite jealousy although I’m trying to be nice and chalk it up to her pregnancy. How could I forget to mention the $100,000 move?! I used to think Kim was possibly smart about her money but now I think she’s just smart about moving on to the next man or woman who can fund her lifestyle.
I was hoping for this recap! Imagine getting Kandi’s line of sex toys confused with Phaedra’s stun gun….HOLLA!!!
OMG – just spit out my drink at \not unusual to be shoved by anyone\ LOL!! awesome. And god I wish he did the Carlton…..
I too had a Kenya doll.
Kenya thinks she is a lot more than what she is. Truly famous people don’t go on reality shows. You want to know why? Cuz they are too busy working and being famous. If you have time for a reality show it means you probably arent working.
Kim does leave the show. The streets say it’s because she was pregnant and didn’t want to be around the girls fighting.
So so glad someone is recapping this mess! So glad ShebySheree is history with her trifling butt. I like the kinder gentler Nene that’s not so catty. Kim needs to go, and quite frankly, if they don’t find more for Phaedra to do, she may be next! I am going to love hating Kenya. What a trifling psycho b*tch!
Loved your recap, but the first paragraph especially cracked me up!
At the last reunion Kim told a convoluted story about her money/house situation. The wives in the sketchiest money situations always have elaborate stories about leases gone wrong that are impossible to follow. I couldn’t stop laughing when Kandi sensibly guessed 5,000 for Kim’s moving fees. With $100,000 I could pay off my student loans, put a down payment on a house, AND take an exotic vacation. Gross.
God, I really really want to like Kim. I was watching the old eps of Seasons yesteryear and she was a plastic wig wearing, gold digging, chain smoking wanna be country/R&B singer with huge tits. Then she met Kroy, got preggos and married. I saw how cute she was with baby KJ and I thought “hmm she has changed!”
Then, this season is is as awful as ever (so far). UGH
Kandi’s house was cool but a little werid. The indoor hot tub and pool was very “grotto” like. I am going to miss her other house, the ranch-style she bought at age 19.
Kenya……biiiiiiitch, with bad acne. I do agree with her about the coochie crack, but damn lady, dont be an obnoxious diva. Sad thing is, obviously acting that way has worked for her all this time…so shame on anyone who has had contact with her for the past 20 yrs., lol.
Nene…totally over her. I dont care about her show or her LA life. ehhh.
Cynthia….she is more beautiful as ever. I wonder how her marriage will pan out this year, Pedro is awful.
How bout crazy Kenya trying to get in Apollo’s drawers???? I need to see Phaedra whup dat azz!
At the last reunion Kim said she’d CLOSED on buying the \house of her dreams.\ This was in response to Nene tweeting that Kim was a \renter.\ So Kim lies (so as not to seem like a renter) only to be filmed months later getting evicted by her landlord (which you only have if you’re a renter.) I can’t stand a liar..
L Boogie, I’m so glad you’re back!! Hilarious recap. Looking forward to a season of crazy!
(Oh, regarding Phaedra, I heard whispers of a rocky relationship storyline with Apollo, a la Nene and Greg.)
I almost didn’t recognize Miss Lawrence on this episode in her “man costume” but I thought he looked great.
Did anyone see the “Hairstylists of Atlanta” clip show with Lawrence and Derek J? It was priceless – like a real version of Men on Film. I loved their extra commentary on who was or wasn’t doing whose hair during each clip. Bravo needs to give these two their own show or give them permanent seats on WWHL. I enjoyed them more than actually watching this show.
I found something about Kenya disturbing, which I’m sure will keep me tuning in….
@miasweetie…. Men on film!!! Yes , you nailed it.! i loved that special… I was cracking up the whole time. How much longer till they get their own show??
I had a Kenya doll too! Memories…
Loved this recap! This season looks like it’s going to be really good. The thing that really caught my eye was the insinuation of something going on with Apollo and Kenya. I’m interested to see what happened with that.
Kim needs to go away and never come back. Cascade does look kinda bad at first, but geez woman, keep it to yourself! She’s so rude and obnoxious. I hate that her show pulled in as many viewers as it did. Like, who watched that crap?
Also, I hate that I have to watch a commercial to comment.
L Boogie, the NeNe-Hulk comment is hilarious!
Cynthia’s agency is so pedestrian! Those wannabe models (my god the girl with the black toof!) will be suckered out of money for \professional pictures\, \runway classes\ and \charm school\. Cynthia is still very attractive and definitely has better skin than \I’m Miss USA Kenya\ Kenya felt it was beneath her to judge such a horror show and she wasn’t going to keep quiet (and I think expected others to agree with her, smh). If you have nothing nice to say…
Loved Kandi’s house and how she bought it (she told Kim it would cost more for her to build that house and why would she do that? Kandi will never be broke or kicked out of a house with that type of thinking, unlike Kim).
NeNe seemed pretty humble meeting Ryan Murphy for lunch. She thanked him again, etc. I still can’t get over her choppers, her cosmetic dentist should be outed so no one else uses him.
“Greg is livining in the Dodge Charger Nene bought for Brysen last year…”
CRYING LAUGHING
Still reading, excellent recap, and thank you for it!
typo: living, Excuse: cracking up too hard…
\The bonus of having a younger husband: the toys are still in style\
OMG, I laughed so hard, tears were coming out of my eyes. I intensily dislike Kim for being such a user and as a result I disliked Kroy too, but that simple phrase remind me that Kroy is only 26 and then I feel sorry for him, how in the world did he get himself into this mess, He has his whole life to regret it. My son is 25 and just got engaged to the sweetest girl but the wedding would be in Spring of 2014. If he would had showed up with someone like Kim (Kroy was 24 when they met), and got pregnant a month later , I would be beyond myself , completely devastated. I fell bad for Kroy’s parents. I will try to remember this as I watch poor Kroy and those two babies that have to deal with Kim on daily basis.
L Boog HILARIOUS recap!! Loved it! I knew from the previews I was not going to be able to stand Kenya and she was every bit the b%tch I thought she would be. Can not stand Kim, I wish Kandi would have said something to her. Not necessarily curse her out, but check her ass to her face. And ehhh Sweetie. Who is she to comment on anything? Where does she live, in Kim’s basement probably. Can’t wait till she is off the show.
So looking forward to this season and your recaps!
I can’t wait for Kenya to bring the crazy and for Kim to leave the building.
I don’t know what it is but, I like Cynthia a bit more so far. I think it’s her long weave and her BULGING emphatic eyes in her talking heads.
Yay!
THIS is Big Poppa???? I’m disappointed.
http://www.realitytea.com/2012/11/08/mugshot-kim-zolciaks-former-sugar-daddy-big-poppa-arrested/
I loved Kenya and looked up to her too as a little girl, a bit of my childhood died when I watched this episode. But, the adult me loves that she seems to be completely psycho, she’s going to make great television!
Funny recap…
laffed out loud at the different names for Cynthia’s business. MORE PLEASE. Hated Kenya, to me she was trying too hard to be relevant to soon (ie talking to much smack to get some buzz). I’ve read several articles about how according to her, she’s the best one on the show cuz she brings the most drama. UGH!
On another note, LB, you are really pretty. Has anyone told you that you look like Garcelle Beauvais?
@23 Oh snap! Guess Kim is just a money grubbing hooker! Watch out Kroy! Though, it looks like she really does love him.
I thought it was strange that Sweetie was back all of the sudden. They bad mouthed her last season on Kim’s show. And, what happened to her friend and the assistant who ended up as the maid of honor? She seems to interchange ‘friends’ quite easily.
I actually liked Sweetie this episode, trying to get Kim to focus on actually moving and lay out a plan to get things done. Sweetie was better dressed this episode than she has been in the past, so that was a plus.
Ryan Murphy wants to be a sassy black woman, so his kiki with Nene about the sitcom seemed par for the course to me.
L-Boogie, I agree about the Bailey Agency names. Keep them coming. By the way, did anyone else notice how bulged Cyn’s eyes got when Noelle said she actually wanted to go to school? Cyn seems likable enough, but has no sense of what’s going on around her, which makes her the perfect foil for the crazy that surrounds her.
Does Marlo make any appearances this season? I miss Sheree’s sarcasm.
@Derek…Cynthia bulged eyes are one of my fave things about her persona, hilarious to me for some reason.
Oh FUCK Marlo….
This show needs more Leon. I still don’t get how Cyn traded the lovely Leon for Old Man Fuck-Up. And I applaud Leon for being involved in Noelle’s life and insisting she go to school.
Laughing my ass off at Kim walking around Kandi’s house criticizing everything. She’s getting evicted from her “not a rental’ house, which is totally a rental, and Kandi just paid for hers in CASH (or should I say Kash, haha?). Kandi has real money and is smart as hell. She will never be hurting. Kim will break Kroy and move on to some other Big Poppa (gag) type pig when the money is gone. What the hell was he thinking when he married her?
Kenya is totally batshit. I thought I had read somewhere that Phaedra and Apollo were getting divorced? They were together after the premiere on WWHL, so I wonder if it was just rumors caused by whatever looks like is going to happen this season with Kendra? Hmmm…
The caption with Kroy and the can is hilarious. I could totally see him using his “teef”, lol. Can’t wait for the whole recap!
Thanks so much for reading and commenting guys! After all these years, I’m still a lurker so I feel like I know all of you from reading comments on other recaps and the water cooler during my off season. I have limited access to wifi but I wanted to talk back to you guys so here goes:
JJ – LOL, I think it’s number 3. Two kids in a little over two years? Yikes!
Caligal – Leon is crazy hot!
realitytvjunkie – Haha! I was hoping that line would make sense. Thanks!
Pari & classy drunk – Is it just me or did the Kenya doll’s hair never quite go back to being as curly once you straightened it? Also, what was in that magic lotion?!
Neecy – Phaedra usually gets a slow start. Give that donkey booty a chance, lol!
Pillania – How could I forget the 100K moving bill? I LOL’d when Kandi said she was paying $59/hr.
anniedawg25 – I always had an aversion to Kim. When I really think about it, I only like her when she’s friends with Nene. The two of them really were fun together. Apart, I think Kim’s life has been a sideshow (Big Poppa, singing career, temporary lesbianism) BUT she tries to get everyone to take it seriously instead of just embracing her hot mess-ness. I wonder if Kenya’s skin is her insides/attitudes affecting her outsides.
nativepeach – I don’t think any other RH has had an outright flirtation like Kenya and Apollo seem to being headed towards. Can’t wait!
sarcasatire – Yes! Kim made that big proclamation and then comes on and not only admits the eviction but essentially planned it. Ugh!
miasweetie – Has Miss Lawrence always had that little scar on his cheek between his lip and nose? I feel like I heard a story about some kind of diet where they stick a straw through your face or a weird surgery. OMG, I never actually said or typed that. It sounds so dumb out loud.
Das Fraulein – Poor Nene changes her face every time someone says something about her. The teeth are huge but the more I see her, the more they just blend in with the whole picture.
Joslyn – Glad I could make you feel a spectrum of emotions
.
Kdognatl – We definitely need a visit to Sweetie’s house. Maybe she’s one of those immigrant (no offense) kids whose parents are wealthy professors/doctors/engineers who live in a mansion and she’s the Americanized slacker kid and therefore entitled to be a snob (in her mind).
Gypsy – Cynthia is looking great this season. It appears she had her hair professionally done. I wonder if she’ll continue throughout the season now that she has more RH money. I refuse to get my hair done by a stylist b/c I’m too cheap!
trkaelin – That’s all folks but he was richer than rich. I didn’t check the link but his kids were on MTV Cribs and their house was crazy!
atlgirl – I keep thinking about how much I LOVED Kenya…I met Miss America 1993 and remember being fascinated with her and all those pageant girls of the 90s. My childhod has officially died and been buried under a pile of British Knights and L.A. Gears.
newsroomfan – Yowza! Please tell me you are, or know of, a single man between 29 and 36 who enjoys long walks and trashy TV. I’ve never been told that but you can keep on doing it!
2muchbravo – Idk why the switch back to Sweetie. Maybe Kim wanted her children to learn the scent of (in)subordination and re-hired her. It seems like a lot of Kim’s real friends are kept off of this show. Then again, I guess the same could be said for most of them.
Derek Hazelton – I literally broke up with someone because in my words he acted like a “sassy, Black woman.” To this day, I use the same phrase when his name is mentioned. And I just love the word ‘kiki’.
KJN – I thought size didn’t matter? Lol, this is it. I was shocked at how short this was but I honestly didn’t have much to add to it. I suspect that will change as the crazy is fully spread amongst the cast.
D’oh! My bad! I didn’t think it was a mini-cap because it’s short, but because I’m used to a mini before the whole, if that makes sense, lol.
I also called Kenya, Kendra sooo… maybe I didn’t have enough coffee yet?
@L Boogie, the new recap cuts off on the second page – I didn’t know where to post this
Thx featherhead, checking into it now.
Love it, L Boogie:
Already the hateration train is pumped up and ready to go with these bitches:
NeNe – This above it all, nose in the air princess “rich bitch” stuff is already tiring. You get a moment or two of human and that’s all. It will be fun watching her refereeing the battle of the idiots later this season.
Kim: You are a trampy vajajay in a wig. No number of kids or wedding rings will change that. You and that Butterfly McQueen assistant of yours can stomp around Kandi’s home and make all the nasty comments you want, but we can see the mattress tied to your back. When is this heiffa leaving?
Kenya – Holy Moly… delusional did not leave town with Sheree. Is this bitch serious? She has a bodyguard? For what ? Nobody is gonna grab her. She so greasy looking, Crisco must want her as a spokesman. Jermaine Jackson called and the phone slipped out of his hand before he told her to stop. Yeah, there is no baby making penis going in that crazy claptrap without insurance. When someone makes Cynthia look sympathetic, then you know that is not good.
Kandi – Play on, girl. Cute man, nice home. Looking foward to dildos, music, and telling some blond ‘ho where to go. You can do it!
Cynthia – Two things wrong here – you still have that agency and Leon is walking around in your house with his shirt on. But I have to give you credit – Kenya would have been pulling her head out of her booty crack if she kept running that mouth of hers much longer.
Phaedra – still funny, still got Apollo running around with tight shirts. Oh, Lord…animal funerals. ‘Nuff said…