Guess what y’all? Lil Kim’s house is haunted. Wondering why we never heard about this before? If you are, you don’t know Kim very well. She would piss on your leg and tell you it’s Dom Perignon. Then she’d make Sweetie mop it up with her new Piggy Minaj hair but that’s neither here nor there. What is here and there is Kim’s stuff and she needs some movers to pack it up so she can get out of the mansion and stop getting blasted on Twitter. Regarding the haunting, Kim was on Ghost Hunters a couple of years ago. If her rented house was haunted, she could have just had them film there. Kim says that weird things have been happening since they’ve lived there i.e. doors opening and closing. It’s probably just the ghost of Kim’s mom trying to use the bathroom.
Kim is handling this situation the way she handles everything. 1) Sexually harass Kroy to ensure that he doesn’t forget who’s running the show 2) Demand that Sweetie does everything because she is the first woman in the world to get pregnant 3) Record everything for Baby’s Memory Book.
“This finger, up your ass, tonight!”
I really think that’s how she’d landed Kroy. Kim is okay looking but I still can’t understand what made him fall for her. Some suspect that she was a bona fide escort and that’s how she’s managed to continue to fall onto wealthy schlongs over the years. A few seasons ago she did admit to being open to anal, every pun intended, and having a high freak number. I bet she shocked Kroy’s corn right out of his husk. Kim wants to get the sheriff to walk through the house with them to videotape everything. Once the furniture is out, it’s a little too late to audition for MTV Cribs.
Kandi is moving like a normal person which consists of getting a bunch of family to help in exchange for camera time. Mama Joyce wants a wing in the Kandi-koated castle but Kandi’s hesitant since she’s in a new relationship. Kandi fills her mom in on Kim’s moving woes. I love how everyone’s reaction is “I thought she was closing on it!” Then she tells her mother about Kim’s comments about the neighborhood and Mama Joyce is not happy. She gives her the Ridickulous face. Kandi starts justifying the fact that the homes are worth $1 million etc…but Joyce says she doesn’t need to explain herself to ignorant people. Kandi just laughs it off. What is Kandi’s deal? Seriously. First, Kim stole the song money and Kandi brushed it off to maintain the friendship. Last year, she was furious at Kendra for the Black baby comment but kind of shrugged of Kim’s role in it. Then she blamed Kim’s comments on the neighborhood on Sweetie even after seeing the episode. I swear, the most successful women are so strange in their personal lives.
“By the way, this isn’t actually my stuff. I’m packing and storing Kim’s stuff while she goes to some auction. Something about needing more help around the house.”
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If you rate her by swears per minute of screentime (SPMS), Kim Z. is the most vulgar human being alive (actually edging out Juicy Joe on RHONJ by two ‘fucks’ and a ‘shit’.)
I’m gonna start saying “I’m sleepy” like Ayden when I want to get out of stuff.
This season Sweetie seems more professional, which is nice to see. However, I’m expecting it to be short-lived. I do like Kim, but her vulgar language around her daughters is appalling. I’m a bit unclear about the townhouse. Big Poppa footed the bill for that, but why does she still have it if she’s done with Big Poppa? He’s still paying her bills? I don’t know about any of you, but exes are exes. After any of MY relationships ended, I’d throw out anything that the ex gave me. And with the price of gold these days, I’ve cleaned up by selling the jewelry that one ex gave me. Kim, take note. Do the same and clean house with the crap Big Poppa gave you. LIQUIDATE, girl! You’ll get a few car payments out of it, at the very least! Maybe even a wig!
Kim’s comments about Kandi’s neighborhood were terribly racist. Kandi is no ghetto girl. You had to lock the doors? What the hell kind of car do you have that doesn’t have automatically locking doors anyway? Damn girl, my Corolla does that. And you have one of them F.A.N.C.Y. cars? Or is your car a rental, just like your dream home?
Phaedra. What the hell is up with Phaedra? First season I was floored when she said her baby looked Chinese, and looked like an alien. Somehow the alien comment came from one of the other girl’s mouths. WHAT? Dwight keeps planning these \boughetto\ par-tays. Good grief. And now her donkey booty is making phone calls. Supposedly. Which \friend\ of NeNe’s would have gotten the donkey booty call? Maybe the same person who was texting Jacqueline on RHONJ ? Fishy.
Okay even though I think Kenya is a psyco hot buttered missed, I agree with her about being pissed off with Miss. Porsha getting her title wrong. This was suppose to be a charity event for Feed the Hungry and it looked like a cheap a** wedding reception!. Also, people from Feed the Hungry make her stop representing the charity…..she is giving it a bad face and a dumb one at that!
GREAT recap! Your version of the convo between Phaedra and Cynthia was 10 times better than the real one. I did find it funny how Phaedra totally dodged the confrontation though.
Kim is ridiculous, and I wish she would go away forever never to return. Who in the world watched her spinoff and led Andy to sign her up for another one?
Porsha, bless her heart, is a few sandwiches short of a picnic.
I love the Dolphin Show. It does start out kinda corny but the ending is amazing!
Dolphins and Dwight…OMG. Seriously, looking at Dwight, if I didnt know better I would have thought Ayden’s party was at “Maddame Tussaud”s Wax Museum”. EEK!!
Porsha’s man is cuuuuute. But not as cute as my favorite ex-con Appollo. He was lookin’ good with those clippers!
Aye aye aye, what the hell is with Kroy? Dude, you are about to move into the condo bought for your wife by the married dude she was banging for years. WHY? Is he that desperate for a place, that broke, or that dumb? Kim has his balls in a jar somewhere, I’m sure. Probably in that “basement mix” box.
And I said it once before, but I will say it again: Nene needs to stop buying her wigs from the “Village of the Damned” collection, seriously.
Dolphin rape is a serious thing. Glad everyone stayed out of the water!
Porche, damn girl. Burn the biscuits again? I wonder if she has NOT burned them.
On WWHL Kenya claimed her hair is real. It IS gorgeous but I am not convinced it’s all hers.
Any thoughts Gasmii? If it’s fake maybe we can hook her up with Ad from RHOBH! I’m starting a collection.
Kandi’s not like that because she’s rich. It’s because of home training. And being Southern. But not the trashy kind. It’s hard to explain. Because in the movies anybody from there that acts polite is an old timey stuck up white racist being fake.
In real life though there’s a lot of regular people that keep some old ways. But just about politeness. So they can still sell sex toys. Plus Kandi’s talented and made her own $. She doesn’t have jackshit to prove about jackshit. Much less about a ho that’s won the Guiness World Record for being trashy. That in her heart she feels sorry for.
That’s how Porsha should’ve turned out. Her family’s head’s got to be exploding right now. Because she really was born a civil rights royalty Princess. My guess is they could tell from the start she’s dumb as a box of hair. And were hoping if they kept her in fancy enough schools that’d help. But all that happened was she didn’t get her home training. And ended up on a reality show. At least they’d got her name off of hosea.org the last time I looked.
L Boogie – my hat is off to you! Three times you watched this thing? Bless you and great recap!
Kim: The shut the fuck up button can not be hit harder with this trashy bitch. I cannot wait until she waddles off to pollute the Bravo airwaves at another time period that I will not be watching. Jesus, you heiffa, there are five year olds on juice box highs who are more mature than you. You are giving birth to a baby, not the son of God. The whining, spoiled 16 year old act is as tired as your vagina. Just leave already…
Kenya – oh, crazy Crisco Kenya. I am waiting for her to come out in a bridal veil and bikini for the next date with Walter. I mean, she has been so subtle about marriage and children
, maybe this will make it clear to him where she wants things to go. I love how her family seems to be aware of her crisco craziness.
Porsha – did she borrow the hamster that runs Alex Bellino’s brain? And yeah, I heard about the hubby too. Hope she knows that chanel bag is a shared gift, oooookay? (loved that caption of her lying down on in the rock climbing area)
Kandi – good dodge with mom wanting to move in. Damn, how are you going to have Kandi coated nights with your man if momma Joyce is around trying on wigs?
Nene – yeah, you fly above all the haters… after making sure that you pass some “recorded butt voicemail” to poor Cynthia to give her something to do while she looks for a short bus to take her Bailey school students on field trips to the “real” New York.
Phaedra – what is an Atlanta season without a cray cray party for widdle boo (OMG, he is edible cute…like his daddy!) Nice to see that Dwight managed to find his way out of a bat cave to help out.
L Boogie, I agree with you about the future written on her face. And based on Reverend momma, she will have room to write the rest of it on her ass. I much preferred your interpretation of that conversation with Cynthia. The passive aggressive Cynthia vs Scarlett O’Weavy was so freaking lame.
Next week – bye ‘ho!
@L Boogie you and @LAC both make me laugh so hard I can’t even type straight.
And I really don’t think it’s a medication issue this time.
I can’t wait for Porsha to say that some people are hungry not only on Thanksgiving, but all 265 (!) days in the year. Her grasp on social issues (recession) and below Kindergarten level of calendar knowledge is shattering. Only in our society stupidity is admired and encouraged on reality TV….
First time to post…As a white women I can say without reservation that Kim is white trash. If Santa Clause ever wanted to give me something for Christmas it would be that i never had to see her on tv EVER- not smacking food, showing off her boobs or bossing around sweetie. And in the name of all that is wholly do not let her get her own show. Please let her live out the remaining days of her life in complete obscurity. Please? Please?
There needs to be a drinking game where Kim says \Stressed\ or \freaked out\. It’s every other word and I’ve YET to see her do anything to move. You can’t do that with her F or S words because you would be falling down drunk after the first 10 minutes of her talking.
She just waddles around cussing at everyone but hasn’t lifted one finger except to eat something. Good grief, she’s already popped out 3 kids and you’d think doing anything would kill her with this one.
Okay….WTF is wrong with that Kenya guy? Desperate, too much testosterone, and inappropriate. If skanky Walter proposes to her, he’s just as bi-polar as she is. I’m betting the bus that she has a penis under that dress. Oh so unattractive and totally yuk.