Back at Casa Del Nightmarios, Kim is still cursing profusely at everyone. I’m no prude but isn’t it just annoying to hear all of that. These people are being paid to make your life a little easier so take it easy, moron! She discovers that the movers have started labeling her basement boxes “basement mix” which throws her into yet another tantrum.
Kim: Basement mix! How am I supposed to find anything?
Movers: Honestly ma’am, we weren’t sure if it was legal to mark this box “two leftover daughters from some other guys.”
Sweetie takes Kim aside and literally has to tell her that she can not curse at these people. Kim feels that if she is paying them $10,000 to do this task, she should be able to say f*** you to all involved. Sweetie tries to give her a lesson in etiquette 47 years too late and advises that these men, much like terrorists, will grow two heads to replace the one she cuts down. Then, they will memorize her address, kidnap Sweetie for ransom and then be sorely disappointed when Kim refuses to pay anything to get her back. Kim turns on the sympathy and says that like, for real sweetie, weird stuff has been happening in the house since they’ve lived there. I mean, really strange stuff i.e. credit checks, appraisals, AMEX bills. She was literally just saying this was her dream home two weeks ago and now it’s haunted. Just cut it out Kim. And cut Sweetie’s bangs while you’re at it.
Phaedra takes Ayden for his first haircut at a barbershop. I am not a sucker for kids at all but this little boy is so unbelievably cute. You can tell Apollo absolutely loves being a father too. They just melt my heart when they’re all on the screen. It also gives me hope that I might still get married and have kids if she can do it. I’ll have to wait in front of my local jail but luckily there’s one in walking distance from my house and it’s right across from a taco spot. Life is looking better already. Ayden is a little scared to go inside.
“No mommy! I don’t want to start working yet!”
Ayden always gets what he wants and Apollo takes his place at yet another job.
To date, he is a master barber who specializes in asset recovery whilst personal training corpses.
Apollo is the hardest working husband I think I’ve ever seen. And the cutest. In order to make Ayden more comfortable with the process, Apollo starts his haircut and Phaedra takes off Ayden’s shirt. I have two brothers and I do not recall them ever taking off their clothes to get their hair cut. Ayden is all man though. He says those three words all ATL parents want to hear: “I love fish.” Apollo, Phaedra and the barber discuss the $20,000 birthday party Phaedra is throwing for him. The guys think it’s silly and he won’t remember but Phaedra thinks he’s a prince and should be treated as such. I think they’re all full of crap and know that she needs some kind of storyline to be on this show and a gaudy kid’s party is the way to do it.
Porsha is in the kitchen cooking and looking less horse-y this week. Yay for baseball caps! She’s making sausage and eggs for her husband and based on his “Heeeyyyy” when he walked into the door, he likes the sausage part a whole lot. They’re discussing a wedding they’re attending that night and he asks if any of her friends will be there. She says that Kenya definitely won’t be there. Kordell asks if she’s Miss USA. He got it right! Told you he likes that sausage. When she dismisses it, he actually corrects her and says that they’re two different things. I sense that he knows his wife is an airhead and is trying to teach her.
Porsha claims that Kenya’s attitude is what made her flub the title, Kordell confirms that she apologized to Kenya because he has manners. Porsha says she apologized twice and it was just a fraudulent slip. OMG! Okay, so the bimbo act is not an act. I predict that Porsha will put out a cookbook showing women how to make sausage and eggs, but never during “time of month” and her entire Williams family will be brought onto the show next season to take her down.
Kordell thinks that Kenya’s perceived attitude may have had nothing to do with her or the event. Damn, he’s good. Wrong, but good at deflecting attention. Much like he did to those supposed rumors about his, ahem, preference. Porsha feels that Kenya is an older lady who may have low self-esteem. Oh, here we go. I can’t stand when women pull the “old” card. Men do it too but women pull it more often and at younger ages. Porsha seems like a girl who went to the club when she was 23 and made fun of all of the 30 year olds who were out there too. Now that she’s in her 30′s, she’s picking on the one’s in their 40′s. By the way, Kordell and Kenya are about the same age. As much as Porsha is trying to throw out the “it was so long ago…no one even remembers” line, let the record show that Porsha invited her! She even asked Kenya to wear the crown and sashay which says that she’s very much aware of Kenya and what she’s accomplished. Kenya does it too though so I suppose all’s fair in old hags and war.
Porsha says that she and Kenya will never be friends and Kordell wisely espouses that “one bad apple can’t make the pot go like that.” Love it. They are so going to give Phaedra’s Phaedra-isms a run for her money and general donkey behavior. Oh, and Porsha announces that she’s burned the biscuits. I think that’s the term they use when she’s thought too hard.