This week, it’s time for Walt to meet Kenya’s family. Her cousin Che is a chef and they meet at her restaurant along with another cousin Kenya’s aunt and Uncle Mark.
“Hi, I’m Che.”
“She got a big ass and I know you like that.”
Walter tells the family that he is the MLK of tow truck drivers. He was the first minority, hate that word, to get a towing contract in Dekalb county. Kenya definitely knows what she’s doing. That sounds like a setup for a Black version of Dynasty, Duck Dynasty. That really is good though. A Black man in the south with all those trucks and hooks. He’s lucky he ended up driving that thing. Her aunt asks how they met and Walter says it was at a Celebrity bowling tournament. Her cousin Che says Kenya was admiring the balls. Yikes! Was this some undercover hating, mild teasing or the family trying to hold a preliminary intervention for Walter? Kenya says that they’re here to meet Walter, not to roast her. If I were Kenya, I’d rethink that. It looks like she’s slathered in enough oil for her to be served at Thanksgiving.
Kenya’s version slightly differs. He saw her, ran around town looking for her, begged friends for a chance to meet her, he read her 1993 Jet magazine article and practiced his runway wave and walk combo until the day she deigned to speak to him. The entire country and Kenya’s aunt believe Walt’s version. Then they want to know how long he took to court her. Not to get into the age thing but at this point, is that really important? I highly doubt that Kenya’s sheets are going to look like a Rorschach when they fling them out of the window after their honeymoon night. Right now, they just need to make sure he’s not a killer. Actually, she might be a little flexible with that hobby. Walter wants to ease into the marriage thing because he’s been divorced and although Kenya wants to rush, he wants to take it slow. The family applauds his old-fashioned methods of stringing her along so he can get as much out of this as possible, until he can upgrade to a Basketball Wives cast member, and decide that he’s good enough for them.
It’s birthday time! You know what that means….
…Dwight is dressed like a lamp.
The only housewife present is Kandi. Phaedra rolls into the party on a train, which is odd, because the party is in an aquarium. Kandi already knows that you don’t question Phaedra’s antics. You just enjoy the show.
Apollo reminiscing…bars do that to him.
Phaedra downgraded to two cakes this year. I bet it’s because the 12 cakes seemed great until she had to pack all of it up and serve it as breakfast for the next three weeks. Meanwhile, Kim calls and says that she can not come to the party because of the moving situation and how she has to watch her blood pressure. My thought, stop collecting crap you don’t need so you have less stress and then stop yelling and cursing. If I had half the money Kim did, I would be so grateful that I didn’t have to pack my own crap that I’d be at every damn party, funeral and parade in Georgia. At that point, Kandi and Phaedra are kind of rolling their eyes because they expect this from her all of the time. Nene has been claiming that Kim was fired but I don’t see why Bravo would work with her again if she was. However, I totally see why she’d have to leave this show as she almost never films with anyone anymore. I’d be annoyed if I was being paid less for more work while she sat on her entitled behind and raked in more cash. I wonder how the money all worked out this season. Anyway, they also watch a dolphin show and everyone looks like they want to fall asleep or be killed by the dolphin.
Dwight’s got a very impressionable fan.
Kim’s house is still getting packed up and Sweetie finally realizes that if she doesn’t get the workers off the premises by 4PM, Kim might seriously call INS on everybody. Sweetie calmly asks this of them and they comply. Finally, Kim has the free time she deserves!
“Sweetie! What are you doing? You think I’m gonna wipe my own ass?”
“Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly far, far away from here.”