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Atlanta knows how to drag out a storyline but this time I think we get some serious payoff at the end. Phaedra is moving forward with her donkey booty workout. Well, she’s not actually “moving.” She’s kind of standing there, bent over in front of Apollo. Mind you, Phaedra is probably one of those people who genetically has that booty but will con women into thinking that they can get one too. By the way, thank you for your educational comments on the origins of the term donkey booty. I believe we concluded that the term originated from pig Latin. Also, we learned that people with ridiculous names aren’t necessarily assholes but most likely have asshole parents.
The episode opens with Kenya and Phaedra contrasting like Drago and Rocky in that movie. I can’t think of the name right now. Kenya is actually working out with her trainer. Her trainer does not think that Phaedra is in shape. Phaedra proves us all wrong by…posing in workout clothes at a photo shoot. She shows up and apologizes for being tardy. I thought the acceptable term was developmentally disabled? They strapped her into her outfit like a Christmas tree to a roof. Look, I think that Phaedra is in decent shape but I have also been befuddled by the thought of her doing a workout video. Since it was solely about the butt, I let that slide for a while.
I’m Team Kenya just for Phaedra blocking that view of Apollo’s chest. She and Apollo pose for pictures and as usual, they’re sex obsessed to the point of being unprofessional. She even says in her talking head that it’s family friendly since it’s a husband and wife DVD. Is it just me? She’s bending over, he’s semi-humping her…it’s just a bad look for an attorney and her houseboy.
Cynthia meets with Cy, a pageant pro, and discusses expanding her agency’s offerings. She says only 10% of her girls have model potential. The rest are just Model Ts. That’s my once a season historical reference. Cynthia is going to start her own pageants for the sole purpose of robbing her hapless clients. At least she admits to one thing; she can’t form a sentence and declines being the emcee. Remember “hair is everything” and her stint as a commentator last season? I still have nightmares about that. I’m sorry, not nightmares, huge laughs! Anyway, Cy says that the entry fee is anywhere from $75-$1200. Cy says that it’s too steep for what Cynthia’s doing (read: Black people) so he says to keep it around $200. It’s also $10 per picture submitted, $50 to be entered into the talent portion etc…I don’t watch pageant shows and I know they’re pricey but to hear it talked about like this is creepy. I feel like they’re gonna take the money and the day of the pageant the girls are going to show up to the abandoned Bailey Agency of Wooden Planks and Nails. This is more of a hustle than NeNe’s Twisted Hearts Foundation. We all know that that $1000/head luncheon got NeNe two of her new noses.