This week, the girls head to Vegas, Kandi shockingly talks about sex and Porsha’s marriage is discussed in comportion to her perturbed husband.
Kenya and Cynthia are now BFFs and exchange lotion lest Kenya be accused of being ashy. Kenya’s joking but you know she probably has a carry on full of petroleum jelly and bacon grease. Kenya tells Cynthia that she was annoyed at dinner because she didn’t want to discuss Walter in front of Phaedra and Porsha. Cynthia obviously knew this but she plays along and acts like she had no clue what was happening. They’re all waiting for Kenya to give them another dose of crazy but it’s not happening because she’s trying to be cancer free!
Cynthia: Wow, you do a great Phaedra imitation except for this one little thing. Yep, no wedding ring.
Kandi can’t wait to get to Vegas and get it in. By that I can only assume she means getting her ass into a Jack in the Box drive thru. The girls are taking a party bus while NeNe flies “first class” after work.
The party bus is clearly a recipe for disaster. Vegas isn’t exactly around the corner and Kenya isn’t on the best terms with everyone. She tries her best though. They play a game in which each lady has to draw a name, imitate that person and the girls have to guess who it is. This shouldn’t be dramatic at all, huh? Phaedra of course pulls Kenya’s name and twirls around repeatedly. Cynthia’s imitation of Kandi consists of asking about food.
“That hurt. You don’t know your flaws until someone points them out to you. I need a ham.”
Either Kordell had her vocal box removed or Porsha thinks that NeNe is a mute because she didn’t even make any sound when imitating her. Porsha manages to find her voice though when the girls discuss the strip club they’re going to later. Porsha says that she doesn’t want to go. They end up tricking her and telling her that Strippers R Us is actually a paint thinner store.
Kenya is basically me on a road trip: playing games and trying to stay entertained. I’m really annoying. The next game is for the women to do a stand up routine. Kandi does one and OMG, it’s all about sex! Who saw that one coming *rimshot*? She tells a story about farting on a guys head during the big O and not letting him up because it felt so good. Good luck Todd.
“Get in my belly! That was supposed to be me in Austin Powers but I ate the original Mini-Me.”
The girls stop for snacks on the road and they temporarily lose the bus. In the meantime, they realize that Porsha is eating a pickle and they really start to suspect that she’s pregnant. On the bus, Phaedra tells her to give a rabbit urine and if it dies, they’ll know she’s pregnant. Kenya is staunchly opposed to the use of rabbits for this purpose. Cute, cuddly rabbits should only be used as sacrifices to the gods of vengeance who will make Walter’s hairline recede at an alarming rate. Phaedra tells her to calm the hell down since the nearest rabbit farm is 1400 miles away. She checked because she’s trying to get pregnant too. I love that Kenya suggests they just go to a dollar store and get a pregnancy test. And I guess Captain Hook can perform the C-section too?!