RHOA Recap: Success Breeds Contempt

Recaps

By L Boogie | Wednesday, November 14, 2012 | 6:00 am | 11 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Real Housewives of Atlanta, Recaps

This week on RHOA, Nene is celebrated, Walter is berated and Kandi’s house gets a little decorated.

Nene and Brentt are talking about moving to L.A. on their way to the L.A. Pride parade. 48% of the country’s collective head is exploding while they prepare their petitions to secede from the Union. Nene shares some little known facts about gays. It turns out that they invented everything! Nail polish, weaves, clouds, global warming, marriage. I watch this for entertainment, the history lesson was a bonus. Brentt actually seems open to the idea of moving to L.A. and then they start the parade.  Nene  starts crying at one point because she’s arrived. I swear, deep down under that sometimes harsh exterior is a 14 year old mini terrorist who still just wants to be accepted and loved. Gregg even shows up at the end of the parade and looks better. I think “get your sexy back” was Nene code for “have a lifestyle lift”.

Kandi and Phaedra meet with Kenya for lunch. Phaedra immediately inspects Kenya’s booty to make sure that it meets the height requirements for their friendship. She passes with flying colors! And cellulite. Kenya retells the entire showdown at the casting call and it’s pretty accurate except for when she said Cynthia didn’t say anything. In her defense, Cynthia responded, it was just lame.

Kandi telepathically telling Phaedra to hide the knives. 

Kim is at home cooking, cleaning and taking care of her kids. OMG< , I couldn't even keep a straight finger while typing that. She's playing with KJ on the counter while Sweetie tries to appear useful so Kim doesn't look completely stupid for rehiring her. Kim hands KJ off to Pencha, the nanny, as soon as he starts to cry. We get more house info. The mansion was for sale at 3.25 million but is worth only 2.1 mill. I could've sworn Kim kept saying the house was 70,000 square feet but I'm pretty sure it's 17,000. 70,000 would be like a small city right? I think her lips are getting in the way of enunciation. Anyway, Kim can't live in her townhouse again or anything less than 17,000 sq feet because KJ doesn't have a basketball court to run on (nor the ability to run). and there's no swimming pool to accidentally drown Sweetie in in case she discovers that Kim's wig heads are actually the hollowed out remains of former BFF/assistants. 

Kim: I just got the appraisal back. A baby with lip injections is worth at least half a million more than one without.
KJ: Who’s this lady holding me? 

 Kenya’s aunt visits her and brings flowers. Kenya thanks her for the “Walmart special”. My mouth dropped open and then I laughed. Considering the aunt didn’t body slam her, they must have that type of rapport. They start talking about Kenya’s life and the fact that Kenya wants to fill house with little ones to match with the little voices. As they walk around the new yet to be decorated house, Kenya also says that she wants pictures of herself throughout it. Her aunt says it’s narcissistic and that fits with Kenya’s personality. Okay, yeah. They’re more Roseanne and Darlene than Claire and Sondra. They talk about Walter, Kenya’s boyfriend, and her aunt thinks something must be wrong with him because they haven’t met. Kenya just doesn’t want her to scare the guy away like the time she scared away Kenya’s ex at a birthday party. 

Kenya: We clinked glasses at my birthday party and he never came back.
Aunt: Thats because you made all the waitresses bend over backwards. Literally. You kept checking them for coochie crack! 

Phaedra, Cynthia and Nene get together to work out at the gym. You can say what you want about the real housewives but they know how to work a formula. The bully is always forced to start filming with someone they had problems with the last season or two. They work out for 47 seconds and then sit down to go over their lines. Cynthia wants to have a party celebrating Nene’s success but Nene decides that it should be all about successful women in general. Kim can even come! Not many women can successfully guarantee child support through their 60s. 

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11 Comments

  1. 1
    LAC LAC
    Posted November 14, 2012 at 12:27 pm

    Great recap! Love your screenshots of Kenya Crisco (sorry, but that child is greasy) Walter, run your chubby butt out of there. That is not sane and there is no ending for you other than one where you are dangling over a ledge with her getting ready to stomp on your fingers.

    Kim – Jesus, is there anything you have to do other than eating and bellowing for Sweetie that you don’t bitch about?

    I share Kandi’s reaction to Queen Nene bestowing her “good will” to the others – who she fooling?

  2. 2
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted November 14, 2012 at 12:47 pm

    YEAH!!! I had my birthday party a few weeks ago at Bottle Bar.

    Kenya is cray!!! I mean like I think I would walk the other way if I saw her cray. She got so out of sorts over nothing. At least he was honest and she didn’t find out from someone else.

    NeNe while I get you had a wardrobe malfunction you can’t expect your guest to wait on you for an hour. Especially one that you are trying to present an olive branch too.

    Cynthia, please have several seats. Don’t try and have a backbone now.

  3. 3
    aliens.rock
    Posted November 14, 2012 at 1:41 pm

    I loved the “classy” bithday dinner for Kim. Kroy couldn’t even use a glass for his Dr. Pepper?! Why bother with fancy china, if you are going to drink from the can…That reminded me of the scene, when Kroy’s parents came over to visit Kim for the first time, and she “served” take away food on papre plates. I guess they didn’t deserve Versace china…I used to feel bad for Kroy, because he seemed like a decent fellow. Not any more… He saw what he was getting himself into (scary and cavernous vagina), and he went with it.

  4. 4
    LAC LAC
    Posted November 14, 2012 at 1:44 pm

    Classy!! LOL – “Cynthia, please have several seats” Amen…

  5. 5
    newsroomFan
    Posted November 14, 2012 at 3:03 pm

    LOL @ who’s the lady holding me? Love that she handed over the baby when he started crying. Kim never disappoints — except at being a human being.

  6. 6
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted November 14, 2012 at 4:29 pm

    Cynthia must have gotten the memo to become a bigger bitch because two years surrounding her floundering relationship with Uncle Ben is quite enough. I do enjoy her when she’s “reading” Kenya, and not “reading” a book (oh Nene, we get the pun).

  7. 7
    yummy
    Posted November 14, 2012 at 6:30 pm

    @ Classy Drunk – “Please have several seats” made me lol and is now my new favorite phrase

  8. 8
    Lexy
    Posted November 15, 2012 at 6:27 am

    Great recap.
    No wonder all the ladies of RHOA were mad at Kim. Not only did she get paid more than some like Kandi or Phaedra, the dumb biatch didn’t even work for her money and just wanted to be filmed in her house with her slave Sweety. She arrived super late so she was there for not very long before she decided to leave while the others have to endure hours upon hours of filming.
    Is it just me or her pregnancies add the extra excuse she needs for her laziness? No wonder she wants to be popping babies left and right. I worked until the very last week of my pregnancy but Kim acts like she is the only woman ever to get pregnant and that she can’t do anything. She doesn’t work, she doesn’t have a business, all she has to do is take care of the house but she has a housekeeper, a nany and Sweety to boot, what does Kim do with her whole day?

  9. 9
    LastCall
    Posted November 15, 2012 at 6:36 pm

    IIRC all six floors of the White House adds up to about 55,000 square feet, so, yeah, Kim & Kroy’s place is prolly a little smaller than 70,000 sqf.

  10. 10
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 5:04 pm

    QUESTION GASMII: I actually already asked this once before but don’t quite recall the answer…

    D.C. (the C stands for canceled), Miami, and BH I’ve never missed an episode. I watched the first season of NY and very sucessfully joined in again this past season, what with all the newbies. BUT…

    I have nver, ever, not once seen an episode of RHOA until now. I know Nene from Celebrity Apprentice, but that’s it. Oh, and I watched the reruns of the THREE part reunion from last season. Wow…am I in over my head here? Not knowing back story? I can identify them all by now, but that’s it.

    What say you all?? Thanks!

  11. 11
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted November 17, 2012 at 5:23 pm

    Well, even though I never got an answer to my question [bigdroopysadhorns], I must say I really enjoy your writing, Ms. Boogie :-) I choked on my popcorn (no…really…a kernel got sucked into my trachea) when I read the “…I believe the children are the future” line. Of course, now that effing song is stuck in my head.

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