Kyle starts crying and Lisa tells her to stfu and put her husband’s commission where her mouth is next time there’s a fight. Speaking of Ad, let’s go see what she’s up to!

Nothing? Ok, let’s go to Yolanda’s instead. Brandi comes over to watch Yoli’s kid ride a horse. Yoli talks about how good she is at competing, how strong her teeth are, and how good she is at barebacking. It’s hard to know whether she means the daughter or the horse. She doesn’t seem to differentiate between the animals much at all.
Poor Yoli only has enough to buy her kid one horse instead of three, like all the other brats in the ‘bu! I’m sure the misogynist you married is gonna be thrilled when he sees you making him out to be a pauper on TV. And are you seriously complaining about how poor you are to Brandi? LOL! Yoli says she likes B “cuz chee tayl eet lige eet ees!”, but if B told it like it was consistently, you’d be thrown butt first into a pile of horse shit for complaining right now.
Lisa is having a tea party and inviting Ad so that shit can be “worked out”, but Yoli’s not going. She’s drawn a lemon tree in France and needs to fly out there to make sure it’s growing. She tells B not to worry, though, cuz Ad is just a bully with the face of a Gummy Bear that was left out in the sun and in the scheme of things she’s a nobody. Well, not to jump on Ad’s side, but she’s not a nobody. She’s the daughter of someone who worked really hard to give her pathetic no talent ass a lot of money and power. And she can probably afford more than one horse, ya descamisado bitch!
More gorgeous shots of Lisa’s home. God I need to do something with my life. Two of her hot SUR bartenders are working the tea party, and she says welcome to Cougar Town. The one with actual punchlines. Someone’s purse will be emptied tonight, and suspect number one will be:

Brandi and her nipples are the first three to arrive. Lisa tells Ken not to bother doing the helicopter on his lazy wiener cuz Brandi is a foot taller than he is. “You’re all the same size lying down, baby!” HAHAH!!! Love it.
Lisa tells Brandi to be quiet and be nice because last time she opened her mouth it cost her twenty grand. Hehe. Brandi promises. Failor arrives with a bag large enough to steal silver. Fail brings Lisa a vibrator. Girl there’s still a Goodwill sticker on that. Lisa shoos them away while instructing Rosio not to give Kim Twitchards alcohol. Only pills, Ro!
Marissa arrives with kisses, but she kinda blows Fail off, which I love. Lisa introduces the bartenders and says they’re security in case Fail acts like she did at the last tea party. There’s a reason Lisa wins every episode.
If you like it, spread it!:
56 Comments
Hilarious Flip!! I hate to admit too, but I fell a little in love with Taylor this episode. LOVE her drunk! Flipit did you see her on WWHL?! I fell asleep half way, but she was LIT! And I just read her Bravo blog, guess she and Camille are not friends….. Still hate Vyle and Adrienne with a passion. LOVE that you have the recaps up so fast.
Love how Twitch can’t lie for shit. She told Lisa “she was on her way to Lisa’ s house” when she got hit in the face. So the puppy was in the car with her? If Kyle believes Twitch is sober – I have a bridge to sell her.
I love, love, love Lisa and Ken’s new house -it is gorgeous!
Taylor was like a dog with a bone, Adriane is a lied, and CAMILLE IS AN ASSHOLE!!!
I also may have high-fived Taylor. (Can’t wait for next week) Adrienne is such a liar, you can see it in her melted eyes. We’ve read all about this bullshit, we know she’s lying. Love how Lisa shut the whole thing down when Brandi left.
Holy crapola! Any shred of remorse I had for Ad went out the door.. She was actin’ the FOOL at the party.. and when she told Faye “chick w/ a d*ck” Resnick “what a lovely person she was” – I literally LOLed to myself… Brandi handled herself SO WELL- god I love her!!!!!!!!!
Why did Lisa take Twitch’s phone call IN THE BATHROOM?
This episode was so painful to watch, mainly because I agreed with Kyle. Lisa doesn’t need anyone defending her, she acquits herself beautifully and maintains an air of superiority in any argument she has been in. Kyle is right; if Lisa responds to her critics, why do she need her to pile on? I don’t understand Lisa’s pathological need to direct conversations the way she wants them to go (by demanding Kyle use specific verbiage to assuage her feelings), to have the friendships be on her terms (which is why Brandi is under her wing, until she fucks up, like that gay Houseguest from the previous season), and Kyle is right to say that Lisa will hold a grudge with her until she gets her way. Look at the way she fires Frank on VR and shuts him down at every turn and you realize that Kyle is spot-on with her characterization of Lisa.
And, as far as the Tea Party, you would think that Brandi would respect Bernie for \telling the truth\ and \telling it like it is\ since that’s her supposed M.O. It seems to me that Brandi is all for \telling the truth\ as long as she’s the one telling it. So what if Ad’s chef gave his opinion about her stupid ass? Maybe from Bernie’s opinion, he was \telling the truth\ also.
Taylor’s shit-stirring at the Tea Party, and her glee with doing it, was some of the best that we’ve seen since RHOA’s Sheree and \Black Baby Gate.\
Bernie is Adrienne’s puppet. And I’m not saying that just because he blocked me on facebook.
Here is the problem with Kyle’s argument. She feels she doesn’t need to speak for Lisa because Lisa is capable of defending herself, but then why does she feel the need to speak for Adreienne? Lisa is just pointing out where Kyle’s loyalties lie, she doesn’t really need Kyle as backup.
@sarcasatire, I definitely agree that may be the case, but why can’t Lisa just simply say “I know your loyalties lie with Ad,” because she’s always been a straight-shooter and no-holds barred. From Kyle’s perspective, and taking Lisa at face value, Lisa makes no sense. I don’t like Lisa being so passive-aggressive because it’s not really the Lisa we’ve come to know over the past two and a half seasons and she’s not that way with anyone else in this, or the VR, cast.
@Derek: Perhaps Lisa is a bit gun-shy about calling Kyle out, even if she’s right. I mean, look what happened to Camille the first season! LOL.. Back then she was seen as tangling with the Queen Bee. now that we all know what Kyle is capable of, she has fallen out of favor, but back then, the editors favored her and so Camille got the bitch edit. Lisa is probably making sure she doesn’t get that, too. She has a bit more control on VR but on RhoBH, anything can happen. ahem, Adrienne.
I agree with Derek in this case. I even told my husband while we were watching: I agree with Lisa every time… except for now. She made no sense in the argument with Kyle.
Derek, couldn’t agree with you more.
I have to agree with Fail, and I kind of loved her last night. But, she really does have a point. Rarely on these shows do we have the exact same set of circumstances, which shows exactly who the hypocrits are. Let’s review:
1. Last year, Camille blurted out that Russell beat Taylor – a fact that Russell, and Taylor at the time, wanted to keep secret.
2. Russell (not his lawyer) sent directly to Camille (not her lawyer) an e-mail saying that if she didn’t stop saying that he beat Taylor, he would take legal action.
3. Oh, the humanity!! Camille, Adrienne, Kyle and, to some exent Lisa, condemned the behavior, and essentially said the two were not welcome, becasue “friends don’t sue friends.”
4. This year, Brandi says something about Adrienne that Adrienne wanted to keep secret.
5. Adrienne’ s lawyer sent Brandi’s lawyer a letter saying that if Brandi didn’t shut up, they would take legal action – AFTER, Adrienne actually threatened a “big, fat lawsuit” at Mauricio’s event.
6. Who are the hypocrits? Only Lisa is treating Adrienne’s action that same as Russell’s. Camille and Kyle, and Adrienne, are okay with it.
Not only are they okay with it, Camille is going out of her way to defend Adrienne. It’s really amazing how they can talk around the issue, without acknowledging it is the same.
And, I am not Fail’s biggest fan (although, I am starting to like her more), but I don’t blame her for being an angry drunk. There is no difference in the situations here (legal action threatened over secrets), and, if she is to be believed, what happened last year put her in physical danger.
I really wish this stupid Adrienne/Brandi shit was over. This show is sooo effing boring now!
Here is the thing though…It is not a fucking secret Adrienne! You told Life & Style (or one of the other less trashy rag mags) the whole story about why you used a surrogate. Then you say that you never said that you were suing Brandi, hello you said it on camera with a big ass grin on your face ” she is going to get slapped with a big fat lawsuit”. We all know Bernie talks shit about everyone. He did it about Lisa at your stupid shoe party! Do you not realize that you have a camera on you, and they do pick up the shit you say, you stupid cow!
I also did actually like Taylor this episode….shocking, I know!
What exactly happened to Camille? She’s been so reasonable for the last couple seasons and all of this one up until last week’s bizarre SUR assertion. Maybe the reasonableness was why she was downgraded and she’s making a play to be restored to full cast member.
Kyle has to know that bringing Faye to anything is an internationally recognized declaration of a breakdown in diplomatic relations and a health risk that could get you quarantined.
I find myself actually wishing this was Taylor’s last episode. Some people are actually enjoying her antics and praising her, which helps me enjoy the comments more. Excellent!
Although it’s not her last episode, I do hope it’s her last season (as many gossip sites have speculated). As long as Lisa, Brandi, Kyle, and Kim (love/love/hate/trainwreck) remain, I’m happy. Some new blood could be fun.
By the way, why the HELL didn’t Lisa throw a fit when TMCFR showed up? Kyle should have known better than to invite her. Didn’t Lisa say she even told Kyle “no”? Lisa has more self restraint than I do lol.
I can’t believe that Kyle or Adrienne brought Faye. I wasn’t able to tell, did Lisa give her Kim’s present?
Of course Lisa knew that TMCFR would be showing up. There was only one place setting unattended, which would have been Kim’s place. Someone that sets a table as elegantly over the top as Lisa, does not miscount the number of guests expected. I suspect the producers asked Lisa to have another tea party, informed her of the guest list and the topic of discussion. Not nearly as organic as the gorgeously clustered roses on her table would lead you to believe.
Any point Kyle made with Lisa got blown out of the water when she brought Faye.
And yes I said that gruffly because I hate the fact that I was on Taylor’s side. DAMMIT. DAMMIT TO HELL.
“Maybe the reasonableness was why she was downgraded and she’s making a play to be restored to full cast member.”
She has been downgraded because Kelsey won’t let her film with the children. Same issue with Brandi.
Aw, c’mon, @TWhit, it’s was just one time. Forgive yourself! The moment of weakness happened to lots of you Taylor-Haters this week
It was nice!
Failor wins all the Tea Parties!
Some how, some way that woman makes it all about her.
Lisa’s lucky Fail didn’t start doing flips in the back yard or she’s need some INSURANCE!
God, do I love Lisa’s house. Bitch.
Oh and Flipit, do tell me you managed to crossover a ‘The Help’ reference in with Failor in your recap. Cuz that is pure brilliance!
I want to see Holy Yoly and Brandi go all Raw is War on zee vimins!
Oh and where is my robe?
& Why was Leeeza’s commode black and why do all people with phone next to the toilet have the old school ones with the cords and push buttons? Is it sold as a special bathroom/phone bundle?
Who was the man sitting with Ken at the table during the tea party? Who was the guy that walked up to the table (camera was on Brandi and Taylor at the time)?
Everybody is saying that Lisa’s argument with Kyle didn’t make sense. Hell, when we are operating from an emotional place, most of us will admit our points in an argument didnt make a bit of dayum sense.
We all know that Lisa can handle her own in any argument. It’s not that she NEEDS Kyle for squat. It’s just that sometimes you like knowing that your friends are ride and die. And they will have your back no matter what! When Lisa sees Kyle doing that for Adrienne, I think she is a teensy bit jealous, because she doesn’t do it for her.
You missed recapping the best part — the nekkid (tastefully done of course) pics of lisa in her husband’s closet. the mixed messages in that sentence astound….
Right, Gypsy?! Why can’t rich people be modern like the rest of us and use a cordless phone in the bathroom? I may be poor, but this Vtech has never steered me wrong!
“Why did Lisa take Twitch’s phone call IN THE BATHROOM?”
Perhaps she was anticipating pissing herself with laughter after hearing another one of Kim’s excuses for not showing up at an event.
@Sarcas…I can’t even speak I am still laughing at that ish. Listen, my Virgin Mobile works in every bathroom I’m in. OK, that is gross BUT you get my drift no? Besides I’m just checking my makeup.
It makes me think of cribs when Kimora was still married to Russel and they had that one of 5 golden Versace (said Versaycee) toilets and, low and behold old school phone! WTH?
Same thing in Vegas at Caesar’s palace. What does a rich person need to do now a days to get a ginormous Buddah, a moat ( a fucking MOAT, did you all see that?) and a cordless next to the commode??? Heck!
OK and I know this is for next week but I’m going in since I’ve been MIA for a few…Did anyone else catch the clip of next week when Kim and Kyle are on the phone with Failor and she’s all like, “OH YOU have Kennedy!” Shit just got real when Twitch is in charge of a toddler. (Hide yo pills. Hide yo toddlers.)
Ummm, you left your toddler to go on a G6? Seems like Failor can get herself a plane but no more plane for Kennedy. #fuckedup
I guess the real question is, would you rather have a lemon grove or a moat?
I vote, #moat.
Another great recap Flipit! You make me laugh so hard and thank you for finding a pic of Ad the horse face that I could stand to look at! I was wondering….why does Adrienne love and support and put up with Bernie the cook….when she doesn’t even eat? Does he make her sugar filled goodies to binge on then hold her hair while she empty’s her stomach?
@SquareHead…she’s sleeping with him!
You have to have a wall phone in the bathroom so if you get drunk and accidently drop it in the commode you can’t accidently flush it because it is attatched to the wall. You just wake up the next morning and tell someone to replace the wall phone. Easy peazy.
Why does Faye keep showing up on my TV screen? She’s like the worst, most God-awful case of herpes ever.
Just teasin.
It has something to do with housing code. You must have a GFI (ground fault interrupter) or two, or three, depending on how big the room in any room that has steady water source/moisture. Kitchen bathroom, laundry room, etc. The device trips when it comes into contact with water, moisture.
The problem with cordless phones in a bathroom is the transformer that plugs into the wall to charge a cordless phone trips the GFI and the cordless doesn’t charge. Now, I know you are going to say, my charger is in the living room and nowhere near a water source. To that I answer, do you really thing these bitches are going to go downstairs of their 2400.00000 SQ Ft home to get lemons? Oh I mean to retrieve the cordless from the charger?
So they just give up and put a low voltage phone in their bathroom and slum it.
The More You Know****
Thank you Robin.
Screw Lisa’s house – I’d move into her closet.
Wow Robin…that was like watching Bill Nye the science guy
Adrienne took the \You are such a fucking liar\ title away from Camille.
Adrienne is lying like crazy. I hope Brandi can show the letter to everyone, but something tells me she won’t be allowed to.
Kyle says she and Brandi are “in a better place now” and brings Faye to Lisa’s tea party? Her intentions are so obvious.
I read an excerpt from Brandi’s book. Say what you want about her but, that’s gonna be a great trashy read.
#teambrandi
Ooh, the book! I had forgotten all about it after I searched a store the other day and finally looked up the release date, realizing it wasn’t out yet.
I’m wondering if having the hard copy of her book is the way to go (assuming it’s even put out in digital form). That’s almost always my preference…it’s TANGIBLE, and like, better (and I actually keep all my books for rereading later)! But damn it’s so easy to download one.
The excerpt was in a magazine.
http://www.amazon.com/Drinking-Tweeting-Other-Brandi-Blunders/dp/1476707626/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1360814442&sr=1-1&keywords=brandi+glanville+book
TC, Robin
How long do you think it will be before Lisa receives a cyst and deceased from Kim’s dog for telling the other women on camera that he hit her? Any ideas for the title of the book Kim will write after her dog hangs himself with his leash? I’m thinking some kind of pun using the words heal/heel…
@Gypsy: Lucky! I would have loved to have had a preview before now lol.
Oh, and thanks, Robin! Does anyone happen to know if there is a photo section or something similar in the book, and if so does that translate to the e book? There’s no way I’d miss a THING in something Brandi put together, for reals.
@Amy, From my experience if there are photos in the book, there are photo’s in the ebook.
That said, it really depends on what ereader you are using in regards to the quality of the pics. I have a Touch, love it. But the pics leave much to be desired.
Don’t forget to visit the forum for free ebooks!
Take care, Robin
Ooh, that’s good to know. I’ve never acquired an ebook taken from a print book with photos. I actually have an iPod Touch (older version) and an Android tablet and phone…so Kindle and Google Play? I wonder which would be better. Probably the tablet just cuz it’s bigger. Hmmm.
Oh and dammit I forgot to say I’ve really never been on the forums. I will have to check them out and see if I can discover the ebooks! Thank you
You’re Welcome.
Having a much smaller home, I still have three(!) cordless phones and chargers spread out around my house; one downstairs and two upstairs. That way, I don’t have to go far to drop a phone on it’s charger as it’s all on the same phone system. I may be poor, but I like my rich girl conveniences!
COCK!!
I’LL SUE YOU, BITCH!
I DID NOT USE MONKEY STEM CELLS, a GORILLA OVULE, AND A WONK-EYED SURROGATE TO CONCEIVE MY BABY!!
@flipit are you ok?
I am also concerned Flipit…or did you pass out because there was a black person at the Kyle’s white people party?!?!?!?!
I’m alive!! And sick as a damn dog. I am making my way through the craziness now. It should be up in three or so hours. Love to you guys! Thanks for caring!
Get Well Soon my fellow El Pasonian…is that a thing?!?!?! Well if it isn’t you know what I mean.
OMG feel better, so glad you’re alive…we were worried!
I have laughed my head right at this site. The best RH blog in cyber space. Thank you Flipit. all tge way from Liverpool UK