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Previously on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Yolanda’s shitty grasp on English/melty model mind led her to tell everyone that Brandi claimed to ride every half staffed peen in the BH, …
I know dees ees lie. Che has no ride my peen.
…Kathy Hilton opened up the Paris Second Hand Scabies Ridden Prom Dress Store for Kim Twitch Richard’s kid to get her first prom dress and her first case of the itchies, …
If ya like it I’ll sew the crotch back in for ya.
…and Lisa left a party early to avoid the scary face/personality/soul of Adrienne Maloof.
So I accused her of eating baby legs and beating her maid. What’s the big deal?
It’s prom night, which means Kim is flitting around her daughter, doting over her because she’s “missed some time recently.” That’s one way to put it. “Snorted time” doesn’t make as much sense grammatically. Little Kim chose the dress Paris wore when she was mourning the passing of her virginity, and I’m jealous that Kimberly can fit into a twelve year old’s dress.
Twitch is in tip top shape today. By that, I mean she’s wearing a dog collar and slurring about hors devours and Fanta for a party that she didn’t tell anyone she was throwing while playing with chicken salad.
Kim didn’t get a normal childhood, because she was in famous kid school. Her prom was sharing a line with Darla off Spanky’s bare ass before throwing up in Shirley Temple’s shoe and passing out face down on the Facts of Life set.
That bitch is wack.
I don’t know who told Twitch that normal kids ate lots of chicken salad before prom, but God bless her, she’s still stirring away. The camera just stays on her, stirring and mumbling. LOL.
When the boy comes over to pick up her kid, Twitch can’t understand why her offer of chicken salad is making everyone so uncomfortable. I think it might be your boobie hanging out.
The kid is out, and Twitch is stuck alone with a giant bowl of the saddest chicken salad on the planet. I have my fingers crossed that she calls Spanky.
Yolanda is having a cocktail party for the girls. Normally she has super famous people like Barbra Streisand or Kenny G over. I know Barbra just threw the remote at the TV after hearing her name in the same sentence as Kenny G. Yolanda lives in Malibu, so even though her scene is boring as Bible school, I’m excited. Malibu parties are a RHOBH tradition. Camille’s Bu party was where we met Alison KNOW THAT! DuBois, and Brandi’s Bu party was where Failor Armstrong had her violent drunken meltdown (well, one of them). I have high hopes for this night, Yolanda, don’t fuck it up!