Brandi stays calm, says that she regrets what she said and didn’t want a confrontation at his event. Mauri ignores her and continues browbeating her, so her friend who talks like Bane from Batman says that Brandi didn’t start it. But she did by spreading falsities! B squeals that she said nothing false, and Mauri gives her his “Toots, you have a vagina please be quiet” look. Guess what Failor’s doing right now.
She sees Mauri talking and stumbles over to hear him saying he understands where Paul was coming from. “I don’t think you would call a woman a bitch.” Mauri, without pause, disagrees with that statement. Wow. What a pig. Failor is shocked by that one. Surely, Kyle will understand that getting intimidating and publicly berating and cursing a woman out is wrong, right?
Kyle, who is upset that Brandi made Adrienne and Paul make this party about her, starts the fake tears and comes over to the group to make the party about Kyle. Failor says that this whole drama happened because people like to air others’ dirty laundry on TV, like CAMILLE DID WHEN SHE TOLD EVERYONE FAIL WAS TELLING EVERYONE THAT RUSSELL BEAT HER! Jesus Joseph and Mary Poppins, FAIL! Kyle and I say at the same time “This isn’t about you, Taylor. Moving on.” Yes. It’s about KYLEWAAAAAhhhhhh.
Camille is mortified that Fail is trying to bring up closed chapters and reminds us again that her saying out loud what Fail was planting all over town is totally different than Brandi outing a secret that Ad wasn’t saying all over town. I don’t know if I agree with her or not, but when she furiously turns her eyes away from the camera to stop herself from saying more, I cheer that the old bitch Camille is back, if only for a second.
She says it to Fail’s face and asks her to stop trying to turn this drama around to focus on herself. “It’s not the same thing. KNOW THAT!” OH YES SHE DID! Bwahahahahahah!! I officially love Camille again. I don’t know if I was schizophrenic before this show or if this show has made me schizophrenic. Either way, it’s a fun ride. COCK!
Fail just keeps mumbling about seeeecreeeets! and it’s hilarious because she’s so the new Kim. Does this mean I have to like her now? I WON’T DO IT. Kyle tells Brandi that she knows Paul was offensive, but it was justified because he was reacting to malicious gossip. Brandi says it was absolutely not gossip and that no one has any idea what Paul and Ad have done to her.
Camille asks what they did do and why it’s so secret. Kyle asks too, but Brandi’s scared to say anything now and keeps her yap shut. Looong pause. Bane wants a drink. Brandi says this is where they excuse themselves, and Kyle nods, happy that this little descamisado is finally learning some etiquette. Failor notices a bruise on Brandi’s arm on her way out. Uh oh. I sense an awkward hot tub scene in their future.
Hey girl let’s hang.
Jeeze. All that before the first commercial break! Let’s take a minute to feel some relief. Julia Roberts is working. Sure, it’s in a commercial for some lame ass French perfume that probably smells like patchouli oil, but still. She got the rent paid and didn’t even have to say any lines. She’ll be in a commercial but she’s way above speaking in one dammit!
Please don’t say a thing with Failor’s mouth.