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Tuesday, December 18, 2012
1:19 am
86 Comments
MC Faye tells us that Brandi is a vile human being and ruins lives. Kyle laughs about the women on the show being a pack of pit bulls, only one eye closing like a broken doll. Then she turns to the cameras and says as earnestly as she can muster: “I LOVE APPLEBEE’S!” so she doesn’t have to pay for their meal.
Kyle’s Andy Cohen face.
For all you Toddlers and Tiaras moms out there who think you have the stupid name market cornered:
WaitressHo has come by to remind us that Lisa’s spinoff is starting in a few weeks. Lisa tells her to gtfo before Brandi shows up, but Scheaynaslesandra wants to “smooth things over” with Brandi after boning her husband and ruining their marriage. Herpes don’t smooth over. They just go into hiding. As you should. Shoo. Lisa says no, as they deserve a full episode for that drama closer to their premiere date.
Yolanda’s at home running up stairs and doing pushups and jumping jacks and leg lifts and butt clenches. She says exceersizes eezlige da foundayn of yoots! Then take a bath in it. You stink.
She tells us that she got a haggard trainer so her husband doesn’t get jealous. She wants to be married to him longer than his other wives were. She didn’t say forever, but she did say 25 years, which is kinda the same thing. That milk’s def starting to smell like yogurt. That’s it? Ok, Yolanda! Thanks for…nothing. Thanks for nothing.
Brandi shows up at Lisa’s freaking out and picking at her face. Not that it can feel much. It’s like punching someone who just got a cavity filled. She’s upset because the day after Ad accused her of being an addict and sleeping til three and ignoring her kids, a story popped up on NotTVgasm about her being an addict and sleeping til three and ignoring her kids. Hm! I wonder who could have planted that! Lisa says it’s gross and hypocritical for Ad to be doing the exact same thing she accused Lisa of last year. True, Ad’s a hypocrite. She says it’s wrong to have orgies with Smurfs and sacrifice babies to satan and does that every weekend herself. According to Brandi.
Lisa says that Ad has no power, and Brandi rolls her eyes and squeals that Ad has a shit ton of money and lawyers to bankrupt her for life. True. Which is why you might not wanna be telling everyone that Adrienne was the whale that ate that trainer at SeaWorld a couple years ago. Brandi knows they’re gonna keep pushing and it’s her nature to fight back by slinging more truth their way. Fine with me! I like Brandi poor. If she weren’t living on the set of Roseanne I don’t know if I’d have the same soft spot in my heart for her.
Dinner party time! You hungry? No? Then here, let me help you out.
The party starts off sweetly, as they all do. We meet the new Friend of the Housewives, Marisa Zanuck. Some of you may know her from being married to a rich ass Hollywood family. I know her from Selling LA! That’s a pretty drama free show, but she almost put a friend who wouldn’t by a house through a plate glass window. I’m gonna like her.
Camille oohs and ahhhs over her dress. She tries to guess the designer. She pauses, waiting for Marisa to finish her sentence. Finally, she does. LOL at already making Camille look stupid. Points. And PS, Dana, THAT’s how to flaunt your money with class, biatch!
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86 Comments
Your recap was WAY more fun than the actual episode, with the added bonus that I didn’t have to sit through Morrie’s totally boring infomerical again and tour that cheesy condo. I can’t believe that anal orifice defended the Maloof Hoof and Fred Flintstone, and totally blamed Brandi for ruining his little event . What a total suppository.
I don’t think Vyle likes the new. sober Twitch much. Twitch seems to have a mind of her own now and it seems to be intent on a little bit of payback and payback’s a bitch. Comparing the morally corrupt Faye Resnick to Mr. Ed was entirely too generous, unless you meant the hind end.
Love your redubs. Can’t wait for the next Watch What Crappens.
Your recaps are my favorite thing about Tuesdays! Hilarious! Kyle is such a freaking bitch. But, I have to say, the Morally Corrupt Faye Resnick is even worse. I really wish Bravo would stop trying to make that bitch happen. We don’t want her on the show! She is awful and brings nothing to the cast. So, stop shoving her down our throats already.
Love you Flipit!! Thank you for calling out that bitch Maurice (yes I am taking my cue from Twitch). I never felt he and Vyle deserved each more than in that moment when he was basically saying it was ok what Paul had just done. Have I mentioned how much I hate Vyle. Oh and Adrienne. I love that Twitch called her sis out on her shit stirring ways. Taylor does seem to be fading out. During the episode I forgot she was on the show. During the dinner, I was like, wow, they are really taking it easy on Taylor this season, where is she.
Kyle goes to dinner with the morally corrupt, ape faced Faye Resnick. She looks like an Al Herschfeld drawing. You know if someone threw a nickel her way she’d open up her legs to catch it. Did I mention HOW much I love you Flipit!!!! And Faye is a piece of shit. I can’t say anything more, you said it best, but I hate her too. Wish she would just crawl under a rug and rot. ERRRR! Awesome recap as usual
Oh and Plath I second and third what you said!
Who is Faye Resnick? I mean, really? Isn’t her claim to fame that she slept with OJ Simpson? WOOOOO. Pat yourself on the back, sister.
Love the recap!!! I also like Brandi. I think at times she can be rude, crude and socially unacceptable, but I think that’s what I like most about her. At least she is honest… and not a hypocrite (LOOKING AT YOU Kyle, Ad, Fail….) She owns her faux pas and wears them like a fur vest from Forever 21.
Why is Yolanda on this show? I like her, but if she continues this snooze fest, that may change. Her scene this week definitely could have been that “Just Kidding!!! We aren’t really back from commercial break, but don’t you feel like a jackass because you stopped fast-forwarding?” moment.
Am I the only one that genuinely liked Ad & Fred in seasons past? I thought they were cute and loveable, and I wanted to be their friend. It seems like they had the Camille Grammer makeover, but in reverse. They are truly vile this season. BLEH.
If people think that Brandi is rude then look at how she handled Faye. A rude person would have said STFU Faye. No wait…that doesn’t help my point. She let Faye go on and on and didn’t respond with much and I thought handled herself quite well.
Vyle makes me sick. You don’t let someone belittle your guests. Tell Faye to cool it now (shouts out to New Edition). You’re not going to be on the show, and don’t bash on Brandi because she got on and you didn’t.
@smango, “Just Kidding!!! We aren’t really back from commercial break, but don’t you feel like a jackass because you stopped fast-forwarding?” moment. ” Pisses me off every week!!!!
I know what the secret is: All of the Maloof casinos are built on sacred Indian burial grounds.
QUITE a few ladies got their blogs up this morning including Marisa and that ape Faye!?! She is such a delusional idiot. She says Brandi attacked Ad and Paul at Mauricios party. The commenter’s are crucifying her. LOVE IT!
Holy shit these recaps are the best! And I died when Morally Corrupt Mr. Ed said the Maloof brothers dated her stepdaughters 25 years ago & Brandi was all “Really?” lololol
am i the only one that thinks twitch was a little out of line for spilling the secret maloof beans at kyle and maricio’s party? i get that she thinks that A had a right to know, but (all reality show based BS aside), but it could have waited a day. unless the script said she had to do it then.
After watching Paul attack Brandi and seeing how he reacted to Lisa in the show at Yolandas house, I am coming closer to accepting that he just might be abusive. He sure does have a whole lot of pent up anger. Besides, I never noticed how much like a Platypus he looks.
I do give props to Taylor during this show. Well, other than the times when she was trying to make this all about her. She was the only one who thought Paul was out of line. And stated it to people, not just us in the talking heads.
I’ve decided that the secret can’t be about surrogacy. That just isn’t big enough. I think Ad and Paul are swingers and they asked Brandi to participate and she said no and that’s when they started going after her. Although, when Ad was talking about delivery and Brandi asked “with the twins?” . . . Damn, I’m back to surrogacy again.
How wretched of Kyle not to stop Faye. Not only didn’t she stop the rudeness towards Brandi, but Faye was really rude to the other guest that was supporting Brandi’s decision not to send flowers. Don’t remember who asked, but Faye’s biggest claim to fame was that she was best friends with Nicole Simpson and then wrote a book about her within months of her death and then rode that fame into a really bad Playboy spread. I think. In other words – she profited off her best friends murder.
HOLY F where does that HAG faye get off?!?! And once again kyle stirs the sh*t pot and then feigns sorrow. F her and the horse she rode on. Team Brandi/Lisa ALL THE WAY. Oh and Marisa is cool too for defending Brandi against that beast Faye.
I’ve lost a lot of respect for Paul, Maurice, and Ken now that they are Housewives Eight, Nine, and Ten. I mean, they suck for being a part of this show, but they used to be the normal husbands rolling their eyes in the background. As main characters, they could have at least brought a DIFFERENT kind of crazy. But no, it’s the same old “you called me a name in People, so I came over to get all screamy at your producer-mandated party.” I don’t know what adding three more melodramatic vaginas does for the show. I think Bravo’s already richly covered the “Men can be bitches, too.” theme elsewhere. And everywhere.
I’ve only watched the first 30 seconds…did anyone else hear Ad call Brandi a “drug addick”? Or does her mouth just not move enough to form words correctly?
OH and also I love how kyle/mauri say they have more class and won’t disinvite someone – lest we forget how they go out to FAIL/Rus and tell them they can’t come into their white party when they’re basically @ the front door. Outrageous!
Kyle’s dining room. Not the business.
Me thinks Faye went in on Brandi so no one would comment on the decorating.
A bamboo mirror?
Oh the fug of it all.
nice catch Eliz! They certainly did do that.
Since Faye was so insistent that Brandi send flowers, I figure there’s still time for Brandi to go dig the Loch Ness monster flowering log arrangement out of the trash can at SUR and send it to the Maloof Hoof, with a tasteful card of course.
Brandi handled old Resnick with class since she’s been to the Vanderpump Finishing School for Young Ladies. She didn’t rise to the bait at all. Ding–she won that round.
6.0 Flipit! You stuck the landing once again!
Ok why do we have to watch Vyle getting ready every episode like this is a My Little Pony commercial for kids? Seriously with you brushing your hair already?
Also I think MCFR looks more like Jarjar Binks than Mr. Ed but to each their own
Brandi did a good job handling that wench.I would have Molly Whomped her BCG style.
Finally (for the moment), why is it ok for vyle to say ‘SHIT!’ at the dining room table but B can’t say STFU to Ad?
Hypocrazy must be a disease in LA society these days.
Oh! I LOVED when Camille was about to go all asshole on us in her confessional. Something smells real bad about Ad and it’s not Ken’s fahts. It’s much worse…
I won’t even dignify Vyle or MCFR by reading their blogs. THAT was a Mean Girl set up if I’ve ever seen one. I’m so glad they’re getting shredded.
Seriously Flipit you make my damn day, thank YOU for the laughs & making this trash laughable. Otherwise, I’d have to admit how far women have fallen from grace and I watch gladly each week..
FlipIt
Please don’t take this the wrong way or in a weird way, but I love you. I love your recaps, they are frequently the highlight of my day. Sad I know, but I do love them so.
Smango we agree to disagree. Brandi is a shit-stirring, white-trash hypocrite. I love that she is trying to be proper on screen than goes all Oklahoma on LeAnn in real life. Ooops guess you and Lisa are only friends when the cameras are rolling.
Mimo – I believe that is called hind sight with some special editing.
Hilarious and spot-on recap as usual, Flipit!
@Classy Drunk Yes! A New Edition shout-out! Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky and Mike, if I love the girl, who cares who you like…
That poor Marisa Zanuck – first she innocently asked \What happened?\ when Kyle would not STFU about why Adrienne wasn’t there and then she got \sushed\ by Resnick. At least she was spared the horror of seeing Ken’s scar.
So, let me get this straight…it is not ok for Brandi to out a secret about a so called friend, but it is ok for Kyle to tell Faye? Kyle needs to STFU!
I thought Brandi handled herself well in both situations…walked away
I did notice the bruise she had on her arm..
Yes @Gypsy, Fillet is more Morally Corrupt Jar Jar. He hss the eyes as well as the FACE.
awww shucks KJN…I’m dancing at my desk now.
Regarding the Morally Corrupt Faye – I haven’t seen such a pathetic audition since CoCo took off her shirt in Fame. She may as well have jumped up and down screeching “Pick Me Andy! Me!” Clearly subtly is not her strongsuit.
I admit I used to love Kyle — I blame it on her hair — but now I cannot stand her. I can handle a little hypocrisy in my housewives, but the amount of delusion she is under is insane! It’s not just the long nose she has in common with her niece Paris.
Ok, I am an addict when it comes to all things housewives, so of course I immediately read their blogs as soon as they were published. Kyle goes on and on in hers about how Faye is not her mouthpiece and Faye has her own issues with Brandi because of the Crystal Meth comment…So, why did she seat Brandi directly across from Faye? She said that she wanted a drama-free night with her girlfriends to celebrate her ugly dining room, but she put place cards down so that everyone would know where to sit AND she didn’t cut the conversation off once it got started. But, she wasn’t trying to set Brandi up or anything. Kyle needs to learn how to properly stir shit without being so obvious. Kim at least had her “I’m a ditz in recovery” card to play when called out about telling Adrian and Paul at Maurice’s party.
Ohhhh the bruise on B’s arm!
Totally forgot about that…what are everyone’s theories?
Gyspy I am going to guess Sheriff Ross Mirkarimi grabbed her arm but claims it is a private family matter and we should all mind our own business.
Hey what the fuck Taylor? Where were you when this city was going through a political domestic abuse storm?
I laughed my ass off when not one of the women who came into Kyle’s \dream dining room\ said anything to her about it. Not even a fake \Oh I love how your dream includes cleverly painting over the fugly brick wall, that’s some architectural digest level dream you’ve got Kyle\ It was an oddly unspectacular room considering how much she had gone on and on about it. I did like the chandelier, I would have given her a sincere \ooh\ over it if I had been there.
Faye. Is. Such. A. Bitch. Goodonya Brandi. Girl has come a long way. Love her.
“…ape faced Faye Resnick. She looks like an Al Herschfeld drawing.” I was laughing out loud even before I saw the Herschfeld celebrity pic you chose to use. That is one butt-ugly woman, inside and outside.
And speaking of ugly, Vyle deserves Faye. What kind of sister is so obviously perterbed that her addict sister is trying to turn her life around? It’s like, “How dare Kim upset Vyle’s apple cart by attempting to get well.”
@ labowner–you sound like you might be LeAnn Rimes!
As for Brandi’s bruised arm, not every bruise on a woman is because of domestic abuse. Sometimes it’s just domestic clumsiness. (And I say this as a formerly abused wife…now ex-wife.)
@chacha, you are right! I have had bruises on the back of my upper arms. They were given to my by my lovely coach purse because I had way to many grocery bags in my hand on my purse slipped and there was not a damn thing I could do about it….
I can admit that I have woken up with a black eye once. Not sure where I got it from. then a week later MR Z and I were in bed. I was watching something stupid on tv. probably a HW show, and next thing I know I am taking an elbow to the head!! Yeah I know where that black eye came from
Yes he was sleeping, so I can’t fault him for that. I did not notice the black eye, and neither did anyone else I worked with. Until I looked down, and they saw it when I blinked. There was alot of speculation, but My husband knows if he were to put his hands on me, He would be a goner. Course. I would beat the shit out of him first!!
I am sorry that you had to go through that ChaCha!
Ugh, Faye and Kyle deserve each other..Wait how old exactly is Faye. She said she has been friends with Ad and Paul for 25 years…they have not been married that long, and Ad’s brothers dated Faye’s daughters??! Sheesh, she has not aged well. At. ALL!
Ken has a pretty awesome Battle Scar!! I am was not up and walking around that soon after surgery. All I had done to my hip was a bone graph, not a replacement…
Yeah, I still kind of feel bad for Brandi. Sure she made some unacceptable comments with the party first started, and Lisa said something to her about it. But she handled herself much better during dinner, and knew exactly when to leave. And seriously, Faye, if you want to know why she and Ad aren’t friends anymore, go talk to your other bestie you cow!
Also, if MR Z and I were ever at a party and some fraggle rock looking asshole was in a woman’s face, while she was sitting in a chair, mind you. I can tell you this, MR Z would have put a stop to it right then and there. Totally unacceptable. Oh, and Maurice(o) can go fuck himself!!
Brandi ought to call Vickie for some INSURANCE stat!
Kyle cannot stand the fact that she’s lost control of Kim’s formerly distilled mind/body. Slowly, but surely, memories are coming back to Kim and she is being awesome letting Vyle have it. I wanted to reach into the tv and high five her when she gave her Kyle started it speech. Love that she ditched her for the Vegas trip too.
Ugh- Faye. You’ve all said it so beautifully above. Who trained who? I supposed Kyle is a Faye in training since MCFR’s kids are old enough to have dated the Maloof boys or something. WTH was that?
Love you Flipit. These recaps make it a holiday every Tuesday.
Thank you Flipit for another great recap! I have hated Kyle from the start and Mo is really showing what a prick he is so they are the perfect couple. Ken really made me laugh yanking Lisa’s chain, you can really see the love they share. While the Morally Corrupt Faye Resnik was tossing daggers I was hoping to hear the new girl Marissa yell STFU FAYE! That would have been an awesome way to introduce herself to the audience! I have a special phrase that I reserve for a select few and it perfectly fits Kyle, Adrienne and Faye….GAPING FESTERING C*NTS! Feel free to use my special phrase as needed
Can’t wait for WWC!
Goddammit it’s thirty-something comments in already – ugh! You guys are on your TOES.
Before I finish reading the recap I must say one thing:
“Does this mean I have to like her now?” >>>> Yes, Flipit, it does, and you DO a teeny tiny little bit somewhere deeply buried and under lock and key in your subconscious no matter what you say [evilgrinninghappyhorns].
Shit. I can’t finish watching the show and therefore reading the rest of the recap until tomorrow. Thanks for having it up so quickly, as usual, Flip!
P.S. Mauricio is a prick.
Cha-cha I would kill myself before I would ever touch a man that slept with skank-ho Brandi.
I wasn’t necessarily going the DA route with Brandi…I was thinking more like….ROUGH SEX.
(Sorry about your sitch ChaCha, I’ve been there too…not fun.)
@Flipit Thanks for my new vocabulary word of himbo! And for making me ROFL so much. I really needed to after getting so mad watching ScumShahs.
It was great getting some asshole Camille soundbytes back.
@smango I like Brandi too. I’m not a big enough snob to care if her childhood wasn’t as rich as the 1 Twitch bought Vyle. And for somebody that’s supposed to be so skanky Brandi’s the only 1 that acts like she ever read so much as a 1 page handout about having any principles. Well Lisa’s probably got some. But she was raised to keep different ways.
@Mimo Me too. I’d just about gotten convinced Ad was lying about Paul. But now he’s got me back to wondering.
@NotWithoutMyTV I don’t lump Ken in there with scummy Paul and Mo. All he does is silent faht and carry Giggy around. Dressed up in the same color clothes. Because Lisa thinks it’s cute. That’s just the kind of stuff secure men do when they’re in love.
Thank u gasmi, I always feel such vindication when I read the comments. Wouldn’t it be great to all be in a big room watching it together! It could be like \Rocky Horror\ We could all yell COCK when Brandi is on or throw silly putty at the tv when ad or Faye show up. It must really kill Faye that she’s not on the show, Brandi is, and Adrian is the one whoever put her there. I’m sure adrian is all \I should have gotten Faye on the show\
I do like Brandi, I think she is trying to become a better person, and I give her credit for that. I could care less how much she curses. She’s funny. And she is a lot better of a person than the majority of the other \ladies\ but I used to like Kyle and ad so what the he’ll do I know!
As far as her and LeAnn, I would go ballistic if someone called my children theirs. I have a friend going through that, and it makes MY blood boil!
@flipit also loved that you used decamesado:)
Ugh, sorry bout all the typos, I’m rusty
Flipit–Love, love, LOVE your recaps!
Oy Vey Resnik’s audition gets a thumbs-down. Send her back into her black, murky lair, BRAVO…or just spray her with \RAID\. Either way. Your call.
Why does Kyle keep dressing like she’s Edie Gormé in 1968? With that hair, you could at least go Cher…
Delicious watching Kim \BLAH!\ Kyle, á la NeNe Leakes. XD
Kyle’s Dining Room by MCFR? As an interior designer, she makes a great…well…nothing. So, like, where did she get her training, anyway? The Learning Annex?
PS: Something doesn’t smell right about Mauricio’s Big Real Estate Success. If he’s so great, why is he living in a dated rancher with painted over brick in the dining room and friggin’ having Designs By Faye do it instead of a designer with chops like Martyn Lawrence Bullard or some such. I dunno. Their lifestyle doesn’t smell right to me for people who are claiming they’re doing so fabulously.
holy jesus i am reading all these comments to avoid work and LAUGHING MY ASS OFF. love you guys. thanks for commenting and reading.
Flipit: We’re glad you like us! Now, get back to work–we feed on your nitrous oxide-filled recaps…sort of like humor zombies.
P.S.: The best thing about this episode (besides Brandi & Kimmy) is that we got to find out that Mmmmauricio is not merely a douchebag, but a prick as well. In other words, he’s just the same as every other realtor I’ve ever met.
@Kimschickensalad – Something seemed off to me as well about the \I’m made Forbes\ blah blah blah list, but live in this ranch in what seems to be a nice, but definitely not a Ad or Lisa type neighborhood. I get not blowing all your money on your house, especially since the Richards sisters seem to have like 20 kids. Paying for bail costs alot people, ask Kathy.
Anyone read the blogs on Bravo? If so, anyone notice that Kyle’s blog states Maurice is selling at the Residence at the Ritz Carlton, but the backdrop for the party (and even the door decal) states JW Marriot? Just wondering if his business had to move or if the hotel switched name?
@KimsChickenSalad regarding Mauri & Vyle’s home…don’t be fooled, those homes cost quite a but of money. Not sure what neighborhood she’s in but, when I lived in LA near Cheviot Hills most of the houses looked straight out of The Brady Bunch era and cost $8-11+million dollars. Heck, I worked in Santa Monica and an 1/8th of an acre land with a 1500sq foot house cost $2million and most people at that time (’06) were buying land just to demo the home and rebuild.
The Pacific Palisades were also surprisingly disappointing but I know there were also expensive.
Not to burst your bubble but, I am sure many of the commenters that live there still can attest that a lot of Hollywood is smoke and mirrors. I currently live in Boston and I’d take Newbury Street over Rodeo any day (with the small exception of the end of Rodeo where the high end couture houses are)
Celebrities of all levels live all over LA. For instance the ‘Candyman’ lived down the hall from me when I was out there. ZLIST! It’s hard to tell when you are waching it on TV.
Also, as of last year their net worth was estimated at $25mil. up for $6m on the first season. Being in finance I can tell you that is realtively little money to the elite in LA. BELIEVE me. Some people you would never expect to have money have serious cash. Others, relatively no money.
Sorry for the rant, I’m running on Dunkin this morning.
Oh Flipit, would love to watch the shows with you. Love the idea of all of us in a room throwing playdoh at Adrienne etc and maybe we could all brush our hair when Kyle comes on.
Lisa and Ken truly seem blessed with eachother and am so happy for that. Loved her commercials with Sheeeeenat promoting her show and basically saying GTFO, which is the proper way to talk during the day, because at a dinner party it would be STFU.
I’m always amazed at the servers standing at the door holding the drinks on a tray. that is so ridiculous.
More random thoughts, wasn’t Lisa the only one to bring a hostess gift?
I like Kyle’s house, that’s my style. Just cause something costs more doesn’t make it better. If the alternative is some big ole house with stone lions out front, would choose Kyle’s anyday.
Like the crack in Camille’s armor. forgot about her asshole nickname : )
If I could have lunch with any of the BH housewives, it would be Kim (what do you do for a living day to day?), Lisa (how did you guys get so successful with your restaurants?), Brandi (I love you and think you truly love Lisa and she you, funny from how it all started).
Who would you have lunch with and what would you ask?
@Gypsy– Yes, I am aware of real estae prices in L.A. I live in SF Bay Area where crummy ranch fixers go for similar prices & our son works in Santa Monica…Small world, isn’t it
Anyway, I just thought for all the we’re fabulously wealthy chatter and especially because Mauricio works in the Estate of Real & those guys love their ostentatious lifestyle in order to put up those smoke & mirrors you mention, that they would have a more McMansion-y place, like in Brentwood or somewhere. But as you say, maybe they are into saving money. They’re obviously into prostituting themselves for money, as is obvious from their behavior on RHW…I also read a comment that said they live in that house because they want their clients to feel superior to them so they won’t be jealous. That seems credible, given the inflated egos in L.A.
Or perhaps that house brings Kyle back to her Brady Bunch era roots and she finds that conforting…Hmmmm
I think I would have lunch with those I didn’t like… Kyle (how do you live life knowing what a terrible human being you are to your sister and others, and do you think you are smarter than 99% of those that watch your show and see you as the manipulative bitch you are?), Taylor (for the love of god, please get your face fixed, it scares me. Why are you on the show? Shouldn’t you be helping your daughter cope with her fathers suicide?), Ad (We’re on to you… now where did you dump the body of Ad from Season 1?)
Can’t wait for next week’s episode! I hope we get to follow Kim on her “Escape to Relapse Mountain” adventure…I can see her now in the back of the shot, madly mixing chicken salad and Vicodin, as her son quietly slips out the back door…Really, though, I like the new Sober Kim much better. She’s less depressing to watch and she’s much better at giving back crap to Vyle, so I actually hope she makes it past her Vegas “Roadblock”. Think of how empowered she’ll feel if she does!
KimsCS I believe Kyle claimed that is the house she has always wanted and when it was up for sale – they bought it. I personally prefer a craftsman.
Someone mentioned the lack of Taylor – I believe they had to keep Taylor (contract/guilt about Russell) – but are slowly removing her so when she doesn’t come back next year she won’t be missed. Sorry Amy.
As an insightful person once said a couple episdoes ago, \Everyone’s laughing and having fun. Thankfully, asshole Kyle is here to ruin that. She brings up the fucking f word and Brandi tries to explain that she said sorry for the f, but she meant the shut up part. Ad doesn’t get it, Brandi won’t give up. Now it’s horrible and tense. And finally Kyle can smile for real.\ Holy Shit! That was Flipit!
However, I hardly think Morris is the sharpest tool in the shed. As Vulture said:
Mauricio, who is a good-looking guy but does not seem like a rocket scientist, muttered about how his “event” was meant to be “uneventful” and probably wouldn’t call a woman a bitch. Thanks for that, dude.
Ha!
@Gypsy, @Insanehousewife–
Gypsy–Who is Candyman? The only Candyman I know of was the late great Sammy Davis, Jr.
Also, I don’t mean to degrade the Ranch House. I think they can be quite beautiful. I just thought it was an odd choice for them…Their net worth going up that much in one year seems possibly attributable to Mauricio being a product placement for his own biz and it looks like it may have worked for him. Perhaps that’s why they signed up,( which was during the mortgage crisis, when Maurico was probably not doing as well).
Lunch-wise, I would invite Lisa, Ken, Brandi, Camille, Andy Cohen, and the Electronic Cigarette Creature (for comic relief). I don’t know how much I’d ask, but I would love to hear their conversation with each other when cameras are not up. And I would want to have it at Sur, because it’s less stuffy. I would arrange for a centerpiece that would be a mini re-creation (but in pinks & purples & white, in deference to Lisa) of the passive-aggressive FU bizzarro flower arrangement from Adrienne, Queen of the Maloofs, perhaps with a signature Cinderella coach pulling it from one end and Paullo-the-chimp romping on top in his scrubs, waving his scalpel & Botox syringe…
labowner–Yes, I remember that scene of Kyle telling how she drove by her future home and lusted after it. I take everything they say on that show with a grain of salt so who knows? As I said, she may well be living out her Brady Bunch era childhood fantasy with that house, or at least she wants very badly for us to think so. Another theory is perhaps by touting that style of house, she hopes to popularize it so that Mauricio has an easier time unloading them? Fun to speculate why. I guess if Mid-Century Modern is enjoying the renaissance it is, then perhaps ranchers are next. They are the ubiquitous California architectural style, after all. Sorry to get off on this tangent, yours was \Duncan Donuts\ & mine was a double latte…Bzzzzzt!!!
Marriott is the parent company for The Ritz…
Great recap, Flipit!! I’m so late to the party but I love how Camille (and the psychic) are vindicated at last. Everything they said about Kyle and Faye the first season is revealing itself. Too bad it was edited out earlier. Not to say that camille isn’t an asshole…but she is less of an asshole that Vyle. Sure, her 3500 sq ft apartment seemed small, but only because she knew her presence was unwelcome. Even a palace would seem small if your husband was icing you out so he could move his mistress in.
Personally, I’m not sure I believe Kyle and Mauricio are worth $25 million. They strike me as the type to put on airs, so if they had that much money, they would have a house worth $15 million, at least. I’d bet the $25 million is a total of their assets, including the value of Mauricio’s company since he struck out on his own last season. (Before, he worked for the Hiltons and so his assets were only his personal..he had no business to speak of). I’d wager they are still worth $6 million on paper and their home in the $3-4 million mark. Nothing to sneeze at of course, but their previous home was much better. Only thing, it was in Bel Air and not Beverly Hills. Kyle wanted to be in Beverly Hills so badly, she took the cheapest home on the market. At least she was smart in that respect. Failor would’ve rented a fancier home and pretended she owned the place.
Faye is doing the most! What right does she have to chastise someone she doesn’t even know? And it shows Vyle’s character that she allowed it. Where was Failor jumping up to scream \Enough!\ while trembling and eating her hair? She had PTSD when Twitch called her out on stirring the Camille/Kyle plot 1st season, but when drama doesn’t involve her, she just looks bewildered should the camera pan past her weathered face. If I were casting extras in Contagion 2.0, I’d called Taylor.
Candyman, girl!! From the movie. You know..say his name three times and he appears? And kills you. Beetlejuice, he’s not.
@sarcasatire, you said about Faye’s attacks: “And it shows Vyle’s character that she allowed it. ” I think it’s more than that, as in Vyle planned it and wanted it. Over on the Bravo blogs, it looks like Faye is taking more heat than even the Real Medium™, Allison “Know That!” DuBois. She has a few supporters, but those are probably Kyle, Adrienne, and Faye sock puppets.
“I’m so late to the party but I love how Camille (and the psychic) are vindicated at last. Everything they said about Kyle and Faye the first season is revealing itself.”
Editing can make anyone look good, bad or vindicated.
From a recent Camille interview:
“I love Kyle. How much fun is she? I always tell people she’s a riot! She is one of the funniest people I’ve met. She’s a regular girl. She’s a girly girl.”
I think the bulk of Kyle and Mo’s wealth came from the goddam house they stole from Kim.
If Mo is one of the top ten real estate agents in the country, his commissions should be in at least the ten million per year range, so I wonder why he is worth “only” $25 million. And, yeah, give Kim back her house.
The numbers Mo threw out there were for a past year, before the recession started hitting the high-end real estate market. I cannot find the link (stupid computer nazi has everything at work blocked, except the ‘Gasm), but google it. I’m almost positive that same number will come up for 2010 or a earlier year.
And my code thingy is “just use your foot”, a reference to Maloof’s Hoof?
He said his new agency did 0.75 billion this past year, so as the owner, he should get a portion of every penny of that. I still say he should be worth more than $25 million. Off-shore accounts, maybe?
Cranky – expenses, salaries, taxes and there are start-up costs for a business. He obviously has his brokers license so he does get a cut of every sale unless the agent has their brokers license as well.
Unless you are their financial manager or accountant none of us have any clue how much money they do or don’t have.
@labowner, as the owner, he gets a cut of every sale of the licensed brokers who work for him. I am not claiming to know the details of his finances, but I am saying that given the stated amount of his sales and that he is one of the country’s top brokers, then $25 million is on the low end of what I would expect his net worth to be. And I know that his net worth is under no obligation to conform to what I expect of it.
What I do know for an absolute FACT is that he stole Kim’s house. Okay, maybe I don’t really know that, but I feel that he did it, or maybe I just want to believe it, or maybe I’m just running scenarios, or maybe . . .
By the way – what ever happened to Kim’s house?
Moral of the story: everyone is rich on paper. How much is liquid?
I value this Peanuts Christmas tumbler that I’m drinking from at a quarter million dollars because Snoopy is in pristine condition despite how many times I’ve scrubbed him with an SOS. So if anyone asks how much I’m worth..I smugly respond, \a quarter of a million, easy.\ Because this glass is pretty much the only thing I own.
@Sarcas, yes that Candyman! Don’t you know I was afraid of a bee infestation the entire time I lived in La because of that man.
TBH he was very very nice but, I was always scared to say more than hello to him for fear that he would open his mouth and the bees would come for me.
@lab & @cranky re: Mo’s start up…RE agents also get a 1099 instead of a 1040 like most of the working world and, taxed like hell.
$750M @1% if that is still more than $25M for sure I am going off of celebritynetworth.com…which is actually now reporting a downgrade to $20m.
Remember, if they are invested in the marketat all their net worth will fluctuate with the value of the assets they hold in the market. It’s not always about cashmoneyhoes. Like @Classy said everyone looks richer on paper.
Hell, I have a Charlie Brown cup Classy. I got it valued at ONE MILLION DOLLARS! That shit ain’t cheap.
Sigh, I’m not saying his annual income should be $25 million, but that after years as a top agent, that it would not be unreasonable for him to have more than that accumulated by now.
Harrumph. If I ever get into the position of requiring the services of a Forbe’s Top Ten Agent™, then he damn well better be worth more than a piddling $25 million or he will not be worth my time. I’m gonna have standards, damnit. Know that!
It really is interesting what a diff three seasons makes. I originally thought Ad was above all the nonsense, and that Kyle was cool, just fed up with dealing with Kim. And here we are…
Kyle, stop trying to make Faye happen; it’s not going to happy! And homegirl legit said on TV, \I’m so happy that Kim is sober, BUT…\ No but! You just love you some victim roll. I also gagged when she was saying how tall she is(n’t) and used her best rehearsed \I’m so tiny, I could fit in your pocket\ voice.
Who would guess that MAURICE would be this year’s Dana?! Talking about how much he makes. I couldn’t care less how much $ they have, cause they ain’t paying my bills, but Kyle been playing the \we’re not Beverly Hills rich\ card since the gates.
I high fived my tv when they told Taylor that its not season 2 again!
Team Kim all the way! Esp since she isn’t trying to watch what she says about Kyle anymore.
Love how B handled herself, but she should have known these broads would turn on her as soon as they could. I agree that I don’t think the bombshell was the surrogate… Would make sense as far as Ad’s \defamation/character assassination\ claim. Like the swingers idea, but that doesn’t have to do with the kids…. Hmmmmm…..
Lola maybe one or more of her pregnancies happened because of the swinger life-style.
Isn’t one of Kyle’s daughter named Farrah?
@Lola – yesssssssssss! The platypus got someone pregnant during one of their swings and then they used her as a surrogate. That works!
Thank you for the Candyman 411.
Very creepy! Not someone I would like to run into in the elevator late at night, for sure!
I went to read more comments on the Morally Corrupt Faye Resnick’s blog at the Bravo site, and it’s gone. If it’s not a site glitch, then she must have asked them to take it down.
I keep thinking maybe Ads secret doesn’t really have anything to do with the kids? Paul was able to forgive Brandi. I know he’s an ass but I think if it was really about the kids he wouldn’t forgive her so easily. I think Ads saying it’s about the kids for sympathy and to shut people up. I think it’s something to do with drugs. I’m not sure what but I keep thinking how she responded at the party with a comment along the lines of “who is she to talk, she full of drugs herself…” Or something similiar to that.
Camille’s blog today “Not knowing what was going on I asked Brandi. She just looked over at Kyle. Then Kyle explained it to me. I felt so bad for Adrienne. Such a private matter that could effect Adrienne’s family. Certain family matters should always remain private within the family.” Once again they only mention Ad’s family and not Paul and Ad….I really don’t think it is the surrogate thing…it has to be she has a penis. I am convinced of it!
Dizzy, right about Kyle telling…..lets see, she told Camille and she told Faye…um hello ya dumb bitch. What ever “it” is, “it” is not something you should be sharing….Gawd I can’t stand Kyle.
I also saw that Faye’s blog has been taken off Bravo.
Ad says that she is still going through her divorce proceeding and is under a gag order and can’t talk about the matter…People are telling Ad that she is such a class act, and that they don’t want her and paul to split up. They just can’t. They admire her for how she handled the situation with Brandi…
@Clare S…I thought the same exact thing! Then the radaronline article the next day as if she was expecting Brandi to strike first. I think she has a history of druf abuse. Why would Twitch be so reactive and feel SO compelled to tell them what was said? Cause she can acutely relate? Know what’s it’s like to be called out by Brandi (a la the Meth thing?) With all those surgeries and recovery and *likely* pain pills I can see how a possible addiction/rehab is a possibility. Seems to make more and more sense.
@Kims…No problem…like I said he was a nice guy but that movie is seared into my brain. Gah, I hate bugs and I just think about all of those bees!
I think I am liking the drugs scenario. That seems like a bombshell that people would be up in arms about.
And maybe Paul writes her scripts so she can keep popping the pain pills.
Damn drufs!
*drugs. Sorry!
Maybe Brandi said that Ad used a surrogate b/c she is addicted to pain meds/drugs and could not get clean long enough to get pregnant or not screw up the kids.. or she has a penis. One or the other.
It’s pretty clear by now that Adrienne carried 2 pillows to full term before stealing 2 newborns from the maternity ward and then having sufficient surgery to be able to thwart being implicated by eyewitnesses or security footage.
Hotdogbitesman wins the thread!
The only reason I disagree with the drugs scenario is why would they bleep Brandi calling Adrienne a drug addict but not bleep Adrienne calling Brandi a drug addict? I mean, that would be seriously unfair. Hopefully, Bravo has more integrity than that, although they could just be aware of the fact that Ad can drain them with legal battles while Brandi can’t do much but take it to Twitter. #poorgirlproblems
I’m pretty sure Ad’s lawyers threatened Bravo during filming and they agreed to not air it. But you do NOT threaten Miss Andy! He made to show the entire exchange, including everyone’s reactions, and only bleeped out the statement. He also made sure to include the aftermath, including Paul and Ad’s over-the-top reaction just to make sure she was exposed and humilated while still keeping the terms of her lawyer’s amendment. Even better, the mystery is leading to speculation which is juicier than had they just left Brandi’s in. It’s given the show new legs.. Miss Andy is un genio!