This picture has nothing to do with anything, but Kyle is on my shit list at the moment so I will post it anyway because it shows her back fat spilling out of her top.
The girls arrive, and Kyle takes them into the dining room. No one compliments it or oohs or ahhhs, even with HGTV reveal music playing, Hilarious. There is one giant empty seat. I guess Yolanda, Twitch and Ad were supposed to share it?
Kyle announces that Twitch went to Vegas for her son’s 21st bday! They usually all go as a family when their kids turn 21, but this time Kim told Kyle they weren’t going after all and then rented a party bus without telling Kyle. LOL. Kyle is offended at the slight, but to be fair, Twitch probably just didn’t want Maurice stealing the bus. Can we have our freaking appetizers before we have to swallow more of your victim BS please?
Ad is missing because Brandi’s a horrible person and Holy Yoly is missing cuz she’s at Donna Summer’s funeral, probably because Brandi killed Donna Summer. Brandi puts her tail between her legs as everyone awwws that poor widdle Adrienne’s feewings are hurteded. How iiiiis shheeeee? She’s super hurt and angry you guys! Also there are a lot of candles on the table and I didn’t want her nose melting off when she’s so sue crazy.
Marisa asked why Ad is so sad and Kyle makes a big show of not wanting to talk about it. Brandi says calmly that she doesn’t get along with Adrienne and they got in a fight, and instead of leaving it there she snarks about Ad’s non existent book deal. Kyle argues that Ad does, in fact have a book deal and Brandi says only if she bought one after the book deal conversation in Oh,Hi! Ha. You know she’s right and that book is gonna be published by foolaM Publications.
Faye, who has been giving ice horsey faced daggers this whole time, tells Brandi that was a rude, uncalled for comment. Brandi, still calm, says that she’s not gonna get into it with Faye because she doesn’t even know her. Faye snarls “at ALL, really.” Wow, Faye, what a dig. I suppose the only people who are good enough to know you are way classier or have vintage cooze mags laying around the house.
Kyle argues more and Brandi says her point is that Ad had to announce her book deal right after Brandi instead of just letting her keep the extremely awkward moment to herself. Kyle chides her. This is Housewives, where there are two parties a week. Eventually Ad is gonna have to show up to one and Brandi’s ruined the future, basically. Faye, like she’s talking to a four year old who pooped herself, asks why Brandi won’t say what this big horrible thing Ad did to her is? “Don’t you want people to know?” Ugh. Sure, Faye. Ask her to tell you so you can criticize her for telling you.
Brandi says it started before the reunion, when Ad called her to prepare her for the attack on Lisa. Faye moans “that’s just a blanket statement!” UGH. SERIOUSLY? Don’t take the bait, Brandi! Faye’s just trying to incite violence in hopes of a Playboy Golden Girls spread and another book deal when someone gets murdered.
Brandi, being attacked from all sides now, squeals that she is sorry about saying what she did, but Adrienne has been poking at her for a long time. Faye, still in mommy no likey poopies voice, asks if B apologized. B says hell no, and Faye says that she doesn’t believe she’s truly sorry. Lisa tries to stand up for Brandi, but Kyle sticks her finger in her face and says that just because Lisa hates Ad…Lisa argues with that and Kyle keeps talking over her. I can’t believe Lisa doesn’t deck Kyle. She stays calm and lets Kyle keep on. If Lisa’s learned one thing on this show, it’s that when this episode airs, the whole country will be telling the stupid twat what an ass she is on Twitter. And she’s right.
Faye keeps suggesting an apology, and then everyone is saying at the same time that Brandi should apologize. Brandi tells Faye to mind her bees, and Faye says that it’s everyone’s business because Faye’s super tight with the Maloofs. Honey, getting hired to paint a bathroom or two doesn’t make you friends, k? Brandi tells us Ad has no real girlfriends. “Put ten girls in a room that genuinely like Adrienne. Good luck.” HA.
Brandi again calmly asks Faye to leave her alone and not get in her business, but Faye won’t stop. Marisa pipes up “I agree with Brandi!” YES. Way to go, new girl. Faye shuts her up and continues her tirade as Camille flashes back to Faye fighting for Kyle against Cam back in season one. Yeah that did suck, right? So why are you so silent now? She’s still traumatized by S1 backlash. Girl, you’ve got the whole audience on your side now! Take the skank down!