Previously on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Kyle’s daughter made us wonder how many hit and run deaths are swept under the rug in BH, …
Don’t worry honey. Gardeners don’t count. The important thing is to learn to walk straight when you’re wasted.
…Adrienne went all Gloria Steinam when Brandi told her to STFU, wondering when it became ok for women to abuse each other with cursing…
Dunno. When did it become ok for women to abuse themselves by implanting melted nerf footballs under their skin and obliterating any natural womanhood they were born with? Warning: this is gonna be a deep ass recap.
…and everyone got wasted at Kim Twitchard’s sobriety party. It may have seemed inappropriate, but it really taught ole Twitch a valuable lesson: Dare eez nusseen uglier dan a drunk vimminz.
Have you guys ever wondered what Adrienne looks like under the layers of blow up doll material? I suspect it might be similar to the dudes holding up this water fountain.
Someone’s egged Kyle’s house! LOL KIM!
An egg a day til I get my house back MAURICE!
Mauri comes home all upset. Apparently they’re getting egged every day. Who would do such a thing? Um, anyone who watches this show and sees your wife acting like a flaming bitch for an hour a week, possibly? You don’t really need Jessica Fletcher on that case.
He makes his brat go outside to survey the damage and squeal OMG over and over. He got her a Benz for her birthday!! apodhg[qdnvalnv[ohggwh8gwhwogh[dssdlnslnvlsnDVliggh8e=hg[wgsgnlKD (<<<the imprint my head makes as it bangs the keyboard.) Sill not sure why people would hate your asses? GOOD LORD! The brat squeals and swears she’s gonna cry. Because she got a car, and because her jayjay is chafing. Girl pull those jorts out of your down there mouth!!
Did you guys know that “Socialism” was the number one searched word on Google this year? Chew on that for a bit.
Kyle knows that her friends will give her shit for spoiling her kid, but Mauri finally has his own real estate co and it makes him super proud to be able to buy his kid a fancy car. You know what would make him prouder? A kid that knew more than three words. O. M. GEEEEE! Sometimes it’s the simple things in life.
Brandi meets her gaygent for lunch and talks about the trip to Oh, Hi! He turns on the tape recorder so this counts as writing. She tells him the tale of a bunch of old hags jealous of a slightly less old hag because she got a book deal. She left out the part where said hags turned on her for telling one of them to fuck off while apologizing for calling one of the other hags a meth head on national TV. It’s all just jealousy, not a reaction to a heathenism in a mini skirt.