Camille’s coming on the trip! Unfortunately, the producers made DD ride in a crate tied to the top of the SUV. Cam talks about Frasier getting a tat on his wiener, and then laughs that her boyfriend tattooed her full Italian name plus the grocery list and baseball scores on his peepee. One thing a woman with IBS doesn’t need? To loosen any of her muscles down there.
We’re still at the photoshoot talking about how pretty Brandi is. Lisa jokes that it’s why the other women don’t like her, and Brandi laughs that only the pretty ones do. See? She knows how to make friends! She sees one of her own pics and gets upset that there’s a wrinkle on her thumb. No mention of the cavernous womb entrance shot, though.
Ad’s car of ladies arrive, promising each other that there will be no drama. Then fucking leave, heifers! This ain’t that kind of a show. Why isn’t Failor falling down and making an ass out of herself yet, btw? I demand consistency!!
They take a tour of the giant, gorgeous home they’ll be staying at. Camille oohs and ahhs and hopes aloud that after finally educating herself when she finally gets a job that doesn’t include spreading her legs for dirty rags becomes a productive member of society that doesn’t rely on rich homely men to survivethat when she gets her settlement, she’ll be able to buy a place like this. They’re all horrified when they find out they will have to share rooms.
What are you worried about? Afraid your bunkmate won’t have a suitcase large enough to make you feel comfortable?
Lisa and Brandi are in their own car talking shit. Brandi is afraid that she’s gonna get beat up on the trip, and Lisa is excited to meet the sober Kim Twitchards. These two are rubbing off on each other.
Lisa asks how Brandi would have done things differently with Eddie if she could turn back time. She says that she would have left him right when he started cheating, cuz putting it off for so long meant a decrease in his acting status. Shoulda left when he was making all that “Invasion” money, girl!!
Over at the Oh,Hi place, Adrienne is scheming to get a better room than Lisa because Lisa got the best room during last season’s ski trip. Ugh she’s so gross. If her pettiness isn’t bad enough, she launches into a super offensive Asian lady impression. Disgusting.
She’s wearing a giant crucifix, though, so I guess she’s a good person. Yolanda arrives from DC. I don’t know if you guys heard, but her huzbant ees FAMOOS!! She teases the ladies for getting so gussied up for Ojai, which is a town she drew as a casual oasis. Stop messing with Yoli’s drawings, people! Get on some sweats!