Lisa and Ken get to Saint Tropez to meet the son and his Maloof. She’s really upped her game and tried to not look like some old American whore. She’s gone for old French whore instead. Cute!
There’s a lot of talk about age and waddlebation, and I can’t take it. FF. Later, the two couples meet up with Ken’s grandson, who’s only a few years younger than his son. And then we learn why Ken had to move so far from France in the first place.
It’s never too late to start Seminary School
Twitch arrives at the airport and can’t wait to get on the plane and hump a seat. She says it’s crazy to be traveling sober and she even has a passport! Cut to clip of her drunk on the phone in season one going on about losing her ID. Cut back to the pain she tried to block with boxes of wine:
I just don’t see this ending well.
Kyle and Twitch sit at their gate reminiscing about the good times, when Twitch was a fall down drunk. She used to hide wine in coffee cups, she used to hide coffee in wine bottles. Sometimes she’d keep bread in the knife drawer and knives in the bread box. She had to stop doing that when she almost stabbed a maid with a loaf of whole wheat cuz the poor woman refused to continue dusting picture frames day after day. Sweet story, guys. So…what time’s your flight?
Marissa calls Kyle and something’s happened. Unfortunately, it’s not that she just found out her sap of a man has been boning secretaries for years. That would be amazing. Her father in law passed away!! SCORE!! Finally she’ll get some dollars and move out of Kim’s old house.
The girls are all just happy she didn’t get the news when she was with them, cuz they don’t want to have to hold someone up one of the first trips Twitch is sober.