RHOBH Recap: The Tale of Twitch, Fail, and Mystery Coffee Cups

Recaps

By Flipit | Tuesday, February 26, 2013 | 1:45 am | 30 Comments
Posted in: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Recaps

Twitch shows up in time to stop Kyle and Lisa from pretending to cry about Marissa’s father in law, and she’s drizunk. Kyle starts nervously playing with her hair while Twitch proves that she’s not drunk by doing the “I’m Not Drunk, Bitch!” dance she learned from Ally Sheedy.

Kim-Im-Not-Drunk-Dance

She’s waaaasted. It’s sad. That no one will join her. Kidding it’s legit sad. The French seem to want Twitch barfing, so they start a fireworks show. Twitch does this “boom boom shebang” dance for us, and it’s pretty amazing. I love her. I hope that she….learns to be happy or something. If that’s sober, great. If it’s not, I hope she invites me cuz bitch has pills stocked for decades, you know she does.

Screen Shot 2013-02-26 At 1.19.34 Am

Not really sure to feel about this episode. I’m sad by Twitch’s slip up and horrified by Lisa’s sister in law and electrified by the “I’m Not Drunk, Bitch” dance. I’m gonna put some wine in a coffee cup and dust some pictures now. xo

Here’s a very special double ReDub, since I missed last week. Enjoy! 

And…here’s the Oscars episode of BS of the Day!!

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Flipit
About

Currently, Flipit's writing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recaps, which you can find here. You can also find him doing a gossip segment twice a week called BS of the Day and video recaps of Project Runway All Stars, as well as spoof ReDubs of the coming soon trailers at the end of RHOBH!

Ronnie Karam has been with TVgasm since 2006 , which has given him the opportunity to make fun of hundreds of TV's most loved and hated reality whores. His plan in life was to be Julia Roberts but that plan was stolen by, well, Julia Roberts. He'll get you one day, JULIA ROBERTS!! When not making himself giggle for the gasm, Ronnie performs improv and sketch comedy at IO West in Hollywood a couple of times weekly while using the lovely California days to audition for commercial roles such as "ADORABLE MEXICAN UNCLE". Seriously. He would like to thank Jesus, Buddha and Xenu for the blessings they've bestowed. The writers here are the best around, and he's honored to be associated with them. Find video archives at CankleTV.com, or follow on Twitter @flipit

30 Comments

  1. 1
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 5:12 am

    What’s with Kyle’s “style” this season? Each show she has me saying WTF…

  2. 2
    featherhead
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 6:19 am

    Sadly, Warren’s wife is Lisa’s daughter in law. That bitch looks old, although he’s 45 and looks 25. It looks like Twitch jumped the wagon! Yeah, nobody is going to notice you’re drugged out of your mind. And she had balls to confront Failor, worry about yourself first!

  3. 3
    Libithina
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 6:34 am

    Didn’t Ken say he had Warren at 16? And Warren had his son at 19? Or something?

  4. 4
    Holyterror
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 8:32 am

    Was anyone else fatigued with the number of times this episode we had to watch full footage of someone entering and kissing Every. Single. Person. in the room.

    It was like a water torture.

  5. 5
    labowner
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 9:46 am

    Why is this page all in bold?

  6. 6
    Maggs
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 10:02 am

    Warren’s wife looked as old as Lisa. Warren looked like a college kid.

  7. 7
    Mimo
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 10:16 am

    Didn’t Lisa say that there was only a five year difference in their age?

  8. 8
    Malamom
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 10:38 am

    1. Kyle’s clothing is so awful! I can’t believe she has a boutique.
    2. How does Yolanda fly all those hours in those tight pants and not have \lady bits\ problems?
    3. I would love to spend some time in the hot San Tropez sun with hotter Warren! Ooh la la!

  9. 9
    KJN KJN
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 10:53 am

    Warren’s wife looked wayyy older than Lisa. I noticed her elbow in one particular shot. You can lift and pull your face and shoot it up with toxins to look younger, but shriveled, wrinkled up elbows don’t lie. Is this the first time we’ve ever heard about Warren? If he was mentioned before, I missed it.

    Oh, Twitch! You make me so sad. And so does Marissa. Have a least a little respect for the guy that’s “so in love with you”. At this point I totally agree with Flipit. Normally infidelity really pisses me off, but I would laugh like hell if he’s been boinking every broad he’s ever worked with for the last 16 years. Would serve her right.

    Hilarious recap, Flipit. I would love to hear David Foster sing a few bars of “Taylor, SHHHHH”. I smell a hit!

  10. 10
    Sparkle McSnarkle Sparkle McSnarkle
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 11:16 am

    Fabulous recap! More entertaining then the actual show this week.

  11. 11
    emilt714
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 11:20 am

    I totally thought Marisa’s bad news was that her husband dumped her mean a$$ also! Ha! And I was also surprised that YoYo was the only one who didnt change over the flight.. I think Brandi/Kyle had different outfits on.. You go YOYO!

  12. 12
    WaffleBoy
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 12:02 pm

    Taylor has a nanny? How does someone who loses a purse in a lawsuit have the money for a nanny? Or is nanny Taylor’s code word for Social Services?

  13. 13
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 12:06 pm

    Note Taylor said the purses she had to give up in the settlement were fake. It was supposed to be a sad moment but I laughed.

  14. 14
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 12:29 pm

    @Flipit…this has nothing to do with the recap but I went to youtube to listen to a song named “Hello” by TI featuring Cee Lo Green. Well low and behold your project runway all stars recap came up in my suggestions. The other 20 suggestions were TI songs. I just wanted to let you know that you’ve really made it when you in related searches with TI….:)

  15. 15
    labowner
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 4:14 pm

    Do we know who the old fool was who Brandi was dating for his money?

  16. 16
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 6:27 pm

    @Flipit can do whatever he like…..

    Ok best part about this show was the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle line. That cartoons.

    Thanks for making this snoozefest funny.

    “They look like diamonds falling from the sky!” (way to be passive aggressive Kyle. Just man up like Theresa and ask for them already. Stop trying to make fetch happen!

  17. 17
    Miss Molly
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 7:18 pm

    Kim’s “I like turtles” reminded me of meme from a few years back.
    Both Kim & the Zombie kid are equally inane.

  18. 18
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 11:18 pm

    @Flipit ROFMAO I can’t wait for WWC this week. I have received a prophecy that you’ll all be channeling a lot of Twitch.

  19. 19
    featherhead
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 6:14 am

    Okay guys, I had to share! Twitch’s blog is up and I copied a little something from it -
    “What you didn’t see is the morning after our first day, I called a doctor to come check on me. It turns out I had brought the wrong medication with me on the trip!! I had been taking it since I left L.A. Throughout the entire stay in Paris, I just didn’t look or feel right. I wasn’t my spunky self and my personality just wasn’t me. It wasn’t until I returned home that I was aware of this. ”

    All I can say is bwhahahahahaha!

  20. 20
    ohralphie
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 6:30 am

    Poor Twitch….people mix up Claritin and crystal meth all the time. It could have happened to anyone.
    Maurice and Kyle have zero chemistry. None. Nada. Zippo. I have never once kissed my dh by puckering my lips and making smack smack smack sounds. Much less on a balcony in Paris overlooking the Eiffel tower. I wonder if Kyle practiced that sesssy move by kissing her pillow the night before?

  21. 21
    featherhead
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 6:38 am

    Why would you continue to take the same “wrong” medication after seeing the doctor on the first morning. At least try to make your lies believable!

  22. 22
    dizzygirl
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 9:45 am

    @ohralphie….HAHAHA claritin and crystal meth mix up… I so want to see Twitch and Failor get wasted all over BH together….that is my wish..

  23. 23
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 5:19 pm

    You know this episode blows when there’s only (now) 23 comments.

    PS- I love the bold type.

  24. 24
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 5:42 pm

    @labowner…in his 50′s.

  25. 25
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 7:26 pm

    My heart bleeds for Her Beigeness without “Mah lave” and her lemons. Not really. I actually find I’m craving a little color after a while and wondering why the waitresses at SUR can afford better color jobs than the filthy rich bitches / bleached blondes on RHOBH? Like the Maloof Hoof and Her Beigeness and Camille? Can someone please tell me why their hair all looks like absolute shit? And yet a bleached blonde like StassInfection looks okay? Anyone?

  26. 26
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 7:31 pm

    Twitch’s hair should have gone up with the fireworks too!

  27. 27
    labowner
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 9:23 am

    Thanks Gypsy.

  28. 28
    KJN KJN
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 9:37 am

    I have to agree about the hair. Even tho I kinda hate to say something nice about Vyle, her hair is a very pretty color. Lisa’s hair color suits her well, too. I think it’s a bit lighter than earlier seasons (but not too light) and it makes her look a little younger.

  29. 29
    NatPatBen
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 8:47 pm

    “They all tease her about possibly dating him, but she says she’s too young for him and he’s too old for her.”

    I thought she said that she’s too old for him and he’s too old for her.

    I love those little moments with Lisa and Ken. They make me smile and are more in line with why I started watching Real Housewives initially: for glimpses into the lives of very wealthy.

  30. 30
    reality
    Posted March 1, 2013 at 8:05 am

    Best recap ever!!!! Seriously, there should be a hall of fame (Lost is what originally got me here and those were awesome too).

    They spent the first three shows flipping out about Brandi (who I love, screw-ups and all) just joking about everyone in Beverly Hills having slept together, turning it into Brandi slept with everyone, which was all just wrong, and nobody really blinks about the reality of her threesome life.

    Kyle’s outfit on the balcony party looked like she just left a renaissance festival.

    I loved Holy Yoli’s travel attire much over the other ladies.

    How much money are these folks worth? Anyone do the math yet?

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