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Tuesday, February 19, 2013
5:30 pm
72 Comments
Tagged: adrienne maloof, andy cohen, brandi glanville, bravo, bravotv, bsoftheday, camille grammer, comedy, episode 2, flipit, full episode, funny, improv, io west, kim richards, kyle richards, lisa vanderpump, parody, prasvlogcap, real housewives of beverly hills, recap, rhobh, rhobhredub, ronnie karam, Season 3, spoof, taylor armstrong, tvgasm, ucb, voice over, watch what crappens, Yolanda Foster
Man, I love when Ad does the opening of the show.
Previously, on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, mmmmmmmmmm,….
Paul stood up for his Frankenstein before finding out that she would be accusing him of child abuse and leaving him for a child drug addict. Poor guy. The editors tried to warn him that she was a double c word, but he couldn’t read the signs.
Failor Armstrong had her first win of the season when she got wasted (again) at Lisa’s tea party and started drama. It was amazing. Bside put this pic together for our Watch What Crappens podcast facebook page and it makes me laugh every time I see it:
And Ad insisted that she never sued Brandi or threatened to sue Brandi or had her lawyer threaten to sue Brandi or call Brandi Sue or watched Peggy Sue Got Married on HBO.
What suit? I don’t even own a suit.
Kim Twitchards has given her staff the day off from dusting pictures so they can get a party together for her to celebrate her new Lisa Bonet nose and to thank them for supporting her during her “sobriety”. I put that in quotes cuz bitch still gets wasted all the time, just not publicly. It’s how I diet, so I’m not judging.
Just make sure I only do shots in the pool closet so no one tries to trick me into going to that Promises place again. For a mall, it sure didn’t have many stores. Or bars. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, I’m gettin a new nose so you won’t even know who you’re foolin this time. Will someone do something about this bowl of eggs on the table? I wanna stir that into something with my hands. Maybe…egg salad. I wonder what goes into that stuff. Probably chicken. Recipes are confusing.
Twitch is serving iced coffee at her party. Fucking sober people. This is why you can’t be friends with them. Congrats on your sobriety but why does that mean I should be forced into that bs? I was only friends with you in the first place because we were always wasted together. Get the f out of here with your iced coffee. I can get that shit at Starbucks and they don’t make me stand around all day listening to stories about Robert Downey Jr trying to smoke their follicles at Elayne Boozler’s house when they were ten.
Kyle shows up with Portia and the Morally Corrupt Faye Reznick in tow. She’s also got Kennedy, who’s scared shitless of Twitch’s broken face. Kyle says “You live in Bev Hills, kid. Get used to it.” Besides, you drove here with Faye. If that doesn’t de-sensitize you to face violence, nothing will.
AAAHHhhHHH!!!
72 Comments
Before reading, glad you feel better Flipit!
And….Andrienne, one of many hypocrites on last night’s show basically admitted that ‘they don’t do that to people’ Do what you Richard Nixon mask? Lie and bash people to make yourself look better? Isn’t that what you did to Paul?
I can’t with this women…
Finally, the proof comes out before the reunion episode.
Did anyone else hear Adrianne say to Faye that she would suggest her friends and family to Kim’s nose doctor. Faye gave her a look, and Ad was like, you don’t even know the half of it…
I heard on Wendy Williams show last week that Fail is out and MCFR is in…barf!
Ad’s facial expression as Brandi handed the papers over for Paul to read, was something similar to how my teenagers look when i scroll through their phones. Scared to death but trying very hard to appear relaxed. That Adrienne lady is so full of it.
I despise people who sit and talk shit about an absent parent, when their little child is present and in their care. Despite this, Kennedy seem to look a lot more happy these days i must say. Her face seemed lit up and smiley.
Great recap, Camille backing up the wrong horse face had me laughing out loud.
Twitch thanking people for being supportive during her sobriety makes it sound like it went on for days.
“Faye pulls out her notebook and crosses her fingers someone’s about to be beheaded”.
Oh.my. That made me laugh. I am sorry. No am more corrupt than TMCFR.
Lisa is only 51? We need to add Lisa to the ever growing list of BH liars. Mid 60s if she’s a day old
Of course I have to chime in here. Taylor (although far from perfect), did NOT lose her kid. If you read the RHOBH blogs you will see that the misunderstanding was a combo of sneaky-sneaky editors AND the drama queen/pot stirring/woe is me Vyle. I shall explain…
Kennedy was supposed to dropped off at her grandparents house, but a stop was made at Vyle’s house to pick up Kennedy’s iPad, at which tim Vyle invited Kennedy to with them to the birth of Kim’s new nose (to play with Portia). The ALL dropped the ball and no adult made certain Taylor knew of the change of plan, so naturally she was startled to hear Kennedy was with Vyle!
Vyle admitted on her blog that this is absolutely true and, of course, blames the editors for leaving out the bits about the grandparents…big shocker. Vyle LIVES for tearing others down.
Also, if anyone has read the blogs, my girl Brandi and a few others (iincluding Lisa) are totes on Taylor’s side, defending her that night and saying what a good mom she is. BTW Taylor admits she damn skippy WAS out of it when she made the call. It happens. We’re adults.
Holy FUCK I love Lisa, lol. Telling Ad about her stains was just hysterical! And icky!
Oh, and one last ting: Taylor’s blog also laughs at Kim being Dr. Drew next episode lol! Then on the previews we see Kim acting like she’s, hmmm, fucked up. Crystal Meth?
@thisbuggs4u, copy that, I so did!
WHY didn’t Kyle throw out Adrienne? Just why? I am loving the Bravo editors this season. Maloof must’ve really pissed off Andy!
And why does that white party look like it’s the worst most boring party in LA, like Kyle hires extras and they are trying to film a prom scene for the original 90210? I don’t get it.
MCFR better not get the gig over better Miss 20th Century Fox. I love that little pixie, telling it like it is. That’s what we need.Not another member of the Confederacy from Star Wars. I’d rather have Alison Dubois, KNOW THAT!
Had to add one thing: I preetty much detest that Marissa chick. She NOT a housewife, she lives in a shack (compared to the others – I’d live in her shack), she emasculates her poor sweet husband constantly, AND in her blogs she claims she stays quiet about people and situations she doesn’t know much about…BWAHAHAHAHAHAH. Liar!
I believe EVERYTHING I read.
I was thinking the same thing @Gypsy! The White party looked like shit in comparison to last year. I think that when Kyle moved, she lost the back yard space for her party. Either that or she didn’t us all her space like she did for Portia’s party.
@Amy, I read Taylor’s blog too. Makes sense that she would be confused as to why Kyle has Kennedy…
I will say that She also got an extra point from me for admitting that she was drunk when she was on the phone. But I still don’t like her!
I used to like Paul (but then I used to like Kyle, so what do I know?) but damn if he hasn’t turned into a miserable bitter asshat. The difference between Paul and Ken – two very rich, very successful men – was glaring last night. Did anyone else catch Pauls parting shot to Ken, it was something about Brandi being his mistress, or the third in a threesome something like that? And Ken just laughed it off as oppossed to sending letters or calling Paul a little bitch. Truly, Paul and Adrienne deserved one another.
@Amy- I am not the biggest fan of Taylor either (even though she may be growing on me), but after reading her blog it makes much more sense than her simply losing her child. As much as I loathe some of these women, I truly believe they are decent and loving parents. I also appreciated her admitting to being tipsy. If your not driving, and your child is in good care for the night then why the hell not?!
Thank goodness Paul is beginning to see what a big c you next tuesday Adrienne is. She is a bully, and karma is beginning to catch up to her. I think the only thing I did like about Adrienne this episode was that her German Shepherd made a small cameo, only because I have one myself and I love the breed, not because I like the owner.
Taylor’s head over heels in love with a married (albeit separated) father of three who happens to be a lawyer that worked with Taylor on a lawsuit after Russell’s death. Her drinking and lack of priorities means she gets no pass from me.
Ad is the worst and now that she will be off the show I guess TMCFR will be playing the part of Wicked Witch.
Wait. I heard Taylor is off and Faye is taking her spot…
Guess which lying ass liar skipped the reunion?? Adrienne! Guess she didn’t want to answer any tough questions…
http://radaronline.com/exclusives/2012/07/adrienne-maloof-skips-reunion-show-lisa-vanderpump-snarky-questions/
Re-watch the scene with Paul helping Ad down the stairs. She’s having trouble balancing and appears confused, b*tching at him not to hurry her while she makes no attempt to use the bannister.
She continues to look blank and unsteady as they get into the limo…sitting v. e. r. y carefully on one cheek as if her rhoids are flaring up. Or maybe she’s just falling over. It’s hard to tell.
Paul turns to talk to her and I notice how his profile bears a striking resemblance to the very earliest guys in the ape-to-man evolution. That probably explains the Flintstone reference, but I’d never noticed it until tonight.
I didn’t notice Ad tell Faye she’d recommend Kim’s nose doc. Rather, Ad reminded people ad nauseum (pun intended) that her husband is also in the nose-fakery business and could build them a new (*) nose just like Kim’s.
* \And the emperor led the grand procession, proudly showing off his splendid new clothes to the cheering crowds who pretended not to notice that he was naked.\
@Sarcas….seriously that woman is a half wit coward. She can dish it out but she can’t take it is all that comes to mind.
Now I wonder if MCFR will get a cameo on the finale.
UGH, I am not so disappointed. RHOBH may join the ranks of RHONY IMO. I can’t watch it the cast change simply ruined the show for me.
#sadrubbermaskhorns
Kennedy’s CRATE?!? Wha- wha- whaaaaat? I either missed that when I watched the ep, or I read it wrong. Kennedy sleeps in a CRATE? I’m confused. I mean, I would support Kennedy sleeping in a crate, but my stepdaughter moved with us at 2yrs old, and she transitioned straight from the crib to a “big girl” bed, so what am I missing here? Ok, back to reading…
Tamitha, bless your heart.
I watched the video clip at the tea party ‘Too soom to joke about lawsuits?’ on the Bravo site. You can see Adrienne with her arm on the white chair next to her and then a bit later you can see her big brown stain on the chair. Who does that!?!?!?
Ok, done reading. Phew! That episode was awesomely exhausting.
First off, Taylor’s phone call was almost the same convo I’d sit through with my bff from HS when she was an alchy. She’d call me slurring, telling me the “hilarious” story of her latest bad decision (aka-deeper slip into addiction) and how fucked up her life is, as she giggled here and there, and was clearly expecting me to share in her humor over her new low. I wasn’t amused at all, and felt so uncomfortable each time. She literally did not mention her 7yr old daughter even one time in 7 or so conversations over a 4 or 5 monthperiod. So,Taylor was going to just keep her fingers crossed that whoever had her daughter would keep her, I guess? HOW THE FUCK DO YOU NOT KNOW WHO HAS YOUR KID!?!?!?!? On a sidenote-did anyone else notice that Kennedy’s behavior is notably different than, say…, at her amish b-day circus last season? Till tonight, it always appeared that she is that nightmare child who is an embarrassing combination of asshole/unneccessarily shy at the same time. At Kim’s tonight, she seemed much more independent and mannered. Sure, the change could just be due to a year’s passing, but I have decided it is the result of spending a lot of time in the home of a mom who actually knows what she’s doing.
As a paramedic, I wanted to punch Ad in the throat during the fire scene. She is the epitomy the parent of some pediatric patients, whom makes my job 100 times more difficult by freaking out, because this, in turn, raises the child’s anxiety level considerably. Common sense would tell any parent that you need to stay calm in dangerous situations in order to keep your children calm. Oh, and Ad should look up the diff between a forest fire, and a house fire. I guess she’s never heard the term “Spread like wildfire”? YOU ARE IN NO DANGER, YOU DRAMATIC TOOL!
It makes me giggle to watch a couple go through a random “bonding period” while they share mutual hate for a person. It was slightly less annoying when Vicki and Don (OC) went through theirs over Tamra and Simon. Ad and paul aren’t as fun to watch as a couple who actually have a reason to hate the hate-ee, but they have never appeared to get along so well! I love it when my fiance and I hate the same person and spend hours talking shit about them. Good times.
The self-tanner stain thing was maybe my fave scene of this entire season so far. Lisa is a bitch, but so awesome for calling Ad on it, and the fact that Ad blew it off instead of acknowledging it and apologizing to Kyle and M and offering to have it cleaned or replaced REALLY shows her character. And, i’d like to know what kind of self-tanner she uses that comes off with a baby wipe!! Bahahaha! A baby wipe will get chocolate ice cream off of my step-daughter’s mouth, but self-tanner on white material?…Oy vey
I love Brandi, but she clearly wasn’t having fun at the KKK Annual Family Picnic..-er-..I mean…kyle’s white party, and said she felt anxious, so why didn’t she just leave? Oh yeah!…Cause she had a contractual obligation to participate in the “sit-down” bravo pre-plans ahead of every single social gathering in the HWs franchise history. JUST ONCE can one of these bitches refuse another’s suggestion of “clearing the air” “right now”? A serious discussion off to the side, in the middle of an event someone else planned and paid for, after having spent the last two hours drinking alcohol and getting worked up by talking about the conflict with your entire social circle seems like the worst fucking idea in history, to me. This tactic has never ended in a peaceful resolve in like 45 seasons, 34 cities, and 990,567 episodes of housewives history, but maybe THIS time will be different! DUMB BITCHES! Or scripted tv…All of the above
Lisa was trying to say “There are always three sides to every story, one person’s, the other person’s, then the truth” but her language barrier butchered it. It’s a played out quote, anyway, so you’re good, Leese
Awesome recap!
@sarcasticire-LMAO!! I was still 80% asleep when I read that, and was maybe hoping I was dreaming, and it wasn’t a joke. That’s my story, and i’m sticking to it.
Isn’t interpretation fun? I thought Adrianne and Paul were saying there’s always three sides to a story and that Lisa said In this case there’s only one. That’s why I always need to watch these shows oh, 50 or 60 times.
@amyoops-just read what yu found out about the truth of why tay didnt know K was with kyle. Makes perfect sense now, and that is some stellar editing, I must admit. Sneaky bastards!
Paul is screwing a 27 year old model. He is winning.
Ad isn’t going to the reunion cause she doesn’t want to hear Snark from Lisa?? What a cow! I really can’t stand her. I am not sure how much more of this show I can take. I def won’t be back if MCFR is on next season.
So Does Ad spray tan, or is that bronzer lotion stuff? I am pasty white, and don’t tan at all….so I am not sure…
@nirvana – Lisa does NOT look like she’s in her sixties! How old are you???
Ken was about to give Paul an asskicking Pawpaw style!
Love it!
Did Kim really ask for an explaination from Taylor why Taylor was absent from the new nose reveal?Oh these Beverly Hills bitches are rich.
Hey @sheesh!! How you been? Yes, you saw that! Kim was asking 20 questions to Taylor. Like she has any room to talk! I thought it was laughable that Taylor told Kim it was a friend she had dated yrs ago when it was actually her Lawyer…She is just as bad as the rest of those Liar liarsons…
@buggs…been doing ok.
I will dish more, but I gotta dash off to my second job (ugh).
Nettie wrote on “Gypsy Girl” recap and we are supposed to ask her questions!
So I did
The conversation with Kim and Kyle and Taylor is very suspect and staged. The phone changes from white, to steel then back to white. It was edited to make Taylor look like a ad mom. I’m glad Taylor is able to clarify on her blog.
Is Lisa positive that the rown stains on the sofa is really bronzer??
Tamitha, crating is now the approved method of training and controlling your childern. You can feed them and if you are drinking a bit too much, they can’t run away to the neighbors or call the police.
@tvsnarkling, I saw that too with the phones!
@tvsnarkling- Oooh, I see. Thanks for the clarification. The only experience i’ve had with children is my soon-to-be stepdaughter, who is the most stunning, hilarious, smart, fun toddler on earth, so i’m still clueless about the parenting guidelines for other kinds of kids. I wasn’t even aware that there is a seperate set of rules and protocols for ugly/obnoxious kids. What do they eat? Worms? *giggle*
Oh TAMITHA!
Editing has been sloppy on Bravo lately with the staged scenes. On VR when Lisa confronts Scheayaksjdhfldhgnna about not working Mohammed’s party she has two different sets of earrings on in the bathroom.
Kim has a serious case of Sober Sally Thumping her 12 steps on everyone she thinks has a problem. Should be fun to watch especially is she relapses in Paris after she lectures Fail for being a lush.
Rumor has it Ad and Taylor are out, and Dayna Devon (former Extra host) and Rod Stewart’s wife, Penny are the front-runners to join the show. I’d rather Marissa become a new full cast member.
@thisbuggs4u and @tvsnarkeling: I really am glad they clarified it…too bad Bravo was totes cool with the shitty mom edit (although I guess that’s why we watch Bravo – to see some dramaz).
@SarahRita: Damn skippy why the hell not lol
@Tamitha: Gypsy is quite right. The editing is ATRICIOUSLY sloppy/effed up nowadays.
I also heard Taylor and Ad would not be around next season, however I haven’t heard TMCFR might be a replacement! Noooo! Well, she is fun to hate on, so…maybe?
Anyone know if Yo is staying? She didn’t bring much to the show other than pushing Flipit to say she “draws” every place she goes thereby making me giggle.
Lisa does look like she’s in her sixties with LOTS of plastic surgery, I’m actually concerned because if Adrienne leaves the show, she is now the most plastic…no! I hope she’s done for a long time…
Miss Nirvana is 57. I can understand if you are young in you 20s or 30s Lisa might look 50 to you. For me or someone in that age bracket knows how we look like. not saying it to be mean, just stating the obvious. She is very attractive but also has way too much filler and it looks doughy..
I don’t think Lisa has worked out a day in her life either. Or only when Cedric was around?
@Tamitha, I was wondering… how were we so lucky that yo found us? You seem like an avid viewer but unless I have had blinders on for the pas 7 years I have not seen you around and if that is the case I apologize.
I must introduce myself…I am Gypsy, welcome to the Gasm, dear. Please, tell us more.
Lisa looks much tighter in the body this season and ill shamelessly admit I’m a sucker for her pink tailored shirts. That said, I don’t find her or Ken very likable, nor do I find Brandi cute and real. Too many mistake her big unfiltered mouth for honesty . i do realize I’m in the minority .
@Gypsy, tell us more?
Is that possible?
Bernie’s tweet had me ROLLING. I effing love misplaced quotation marks. I need to know what he really means by “Number 2 Pencil” and “Binder Paper”!!!
YOUR USING “VANDERPUMPS” OLD SPEECH.
FIND A “NUMBER 2 PENCIL” AND” BINDER PAPER” AND WRITE YOUR OWN.
@Gypsy-I’m actually Tmurda’s evil twin. Haha. I did some recapping for flip a little while back, so Ive been around here and there, but something weird happened with ,my computer…or my email…or my keyboard….I actually dont know wtf happened but I ended up having to change my username and stuff. So, I have been here with my fellow snark-tastic gams-ers all along! xoxo!
OH! Well that makes sense!
Flipit hope you are feeling better. Thanks for the awesome recap.
Did someone take away Beetlejuice’s computer?
@lab
Probably the men in white coats. In return I’m sure she got a lovely jacket!
The Maloof Hoof is a piece of work and her husband Fred Flintstone–hoowhee, the gifts that keep on giving. Chef Bernie’s tweet is a magnum opus. Ain’t he edumacated. What collitch did he get his degree in buffoonery at?
“My Kid is Hanging Out With Who”?
For #50
That new line is so fetch.
SARCASTICERE! QUIT trying to make fetch happen. It isn’t. Going. To happen.
LOL
Is “sarcasticere” sarcasatire’s alter ego like Sasha Fierce is to Beyonce?
*does single ladies hand and neck movements*
@Classy: Why, yes. Yes, it is. *harlem shakes*
“YOU’RE WEARING SWEATPANTS YOU CAN’T SIT WITH US!”
Threads the needle and dusts off shoulders then struts out.
Isn’t it ironic that Camille is the one with IBS, but the Maloof Hoof is the one leaving the brown skid marks where ever she goes?
ohmigod, Danny Devito, I love your work!
SNOT ROCKET a la Sarcastaire..
OK, let’s make this final stretch of the season interesting.
I’ll open the floor to suggestions. Do we want to guess on cast member’s outcomes? Like Kim relapsing? Or, so we want to venture a guess Brandi gets a spinoff (my personal guess).
The floor is open and since @Flipit provides the spot on laughs week after week don’t we owe it to him to create our own sparkle for him to enjoy a la when we were guessing what Adrienne’s deep dark secret was?
I personally think she was dolphin raped ( see BGC Season 9) But you feel me, right?
Anyone?
I’d like to, Gypsy, but I’m busy. I gotta lose 3 pounds.
3? Shit, I don’t blame you. Ok you get a pass.
You can help me lose these three pounds, Gypsy. Just give me those awesome protein bars you brought back from Africa! Either that, or I’ll be wearing sweat pants!
Taylor is so annoying with the “friends suing friends” mantra because, HELLO, Adrienne and Brandi ARE NOT FRIENDS! Therefore, while it’s a similar situation, it’s not the same.
Derek, but weren’t they friends until the reunion and Brandi didn’t want to participate in the railroading of Lisa?
I think I remember Brandi being brought on the show as Adrienne’s friend?
I’m pretty sure you are correct that Brandi was brought on as “a friend of…”, in this case, Adrienne.
Oh, and I? am one stomach flu away from my goal weight!
Hey, my niece lost 10 pounds with her stomach flu!!
I forgot to make a prediction! Okay, here goes…
My prediction for Kyle and Kim is that they team up with Josh Brolin to make the action packed sequel to “The Car”, ” Son of the Car”. Kim, however, will be fired after she forgets what film she is making and keeps trying to Escape (or Return) to Witch Mountain.
Adrienne’s deep dark secret is that she is actually one of the carved stone lions on her estate that came to life. Like Kira in Xanadu, she became human to be Paul’s muse. He takes inspiration from her lioness-like features every time he performs a surgery.
Taylor will be fired and forced to finally go home. When she returns to Oklahoma, someone will call her Shana, causing her to “go Oklahoma on their ass” and, in the process, landing her’s in jail, where it belongs anyway.
Yoli will draw a door in which to exit the show from and will become a full-time lemon farmer until she can finally afford to buy her daughter another horse BECAUSE THAT CHEAP BASTARD DAVID FOSTER WON’T… Sorry. It just really upsets me to see a child so deprived of even the most basic necessities in life. Oh, the humanity!
Brandi will become a best-selling author and will make millions touring the country doing a joint book tour/pole dancing seminar. I agree with Gypsy that she will get her own spinoff. It will be called “Shut the F@#! Up While I’m Telling The Truth”, or STFUWITTT for short.
Lisa will wear pink and remain fabulous. Come on!
10 pounds! Dayum! I usually lose 4, tops. And it allll comes back once I can eat again, lol.
Ten pounds?! Alright..y’all are gonna have me eating some week old Taco Bell. Or drinking a pot of hot dog water after it’s sat on the stove overnight. Or maybe I should leave 3 containers of yogurt on the dashboard on a sunny day. Yum! I’m just tryna be thin, y’all.
Besides, Camille makes IBS look good. Who needs bowel control when they can affored high end rubber sheets?
How does Kennedy still have an LV purse? Didn’t the bastard creditors want her bags too?
Am I the only one that noticed that Ad’s legs are two different colors in the limo scene with Fred Flinstone, I mean Paul?
@smarlo-She probably rubbed her self tanner off on Paul. I just remembered his comment to Kyle when they arrived about not liking to wear white because of getting it dirty.