Brooks asks Alexis where Jimmy the Chin is and she says he’s not coming because he hates everyone and wouldn’t enjoy himself. Just then, who should be sneaking through the front door of the Dubrow Palace on Billionaire’s Row? It’s Jimmy the Chin! Dressed like a total freak! He’s in what looks like a suit vest with some crazy red print on it and he comes up behind Alexis and asks if he can get her a drink. When she realizes who’s talking, she shrieks like she just won a beauty pageant. Relax, Alexis, it’s your freaking husband. You know? You just left him 20 minutes ago? She screeches at Heather that Heather knew the whole time Jim was coming. Right! As if Heather had taken time out from planning her Grand Heather Celebration to concoct a scheme surprising Alexis with her own husband. Oh Alexis. Heather tells Jim she’s glad he could make it and Alexis keeps jumping up and down squealing how happy she is.
“Yes, Alexis, this whole thing about me changing my name was just a cover so that I could surprise you with your own husband! Surprise!”
Terry spots Jim across the yard and starts talking trash, saying “Jim Bellino grew a pair and showed up!” But when Jim approaches he hugs him and tells him he’s glad he came.
Vicki is standing around with Kara and Briana fuming about Tamra and Gretchen being friends. They’re a few feet away and Tamra is kissing Gretchen on the mouth to freshen her lipstick. Vicki screams, “Tamra, really?!” She comes up with a plan to go smear some brownish lipstick on Tamra’s nose – because she’s a brown noser, get it? She orders Tamra to close her eyes, but Tamra knows exactly what Vicki is up to and refuses. Too bad for your awesome plan, Vicki.
Terry is still loving on Jim Bellino and he asks if they’re good, to which Jim responds that they’ll talk next week. Alexis chimes in and says it will be awkward unless they talk right now. Jim stares her down and says, “Really? Are you wearing the pants?” Wow. That’s not disrespectful at all. There was a nice way to say TO HIS WIFE that he’d rather talk later. But he goes to a table with Terry after all and wants to know why Terry said that Alexis is the phoniest person he’s ever met.
“Hang on. Is that a breast implant in your chin?”
You know, this whole phony comment has gotten so overused and blown out of proportion. I know this because we’ve seen 987 flashbacks of it. What happened is that Terry and Heather were at dinner with Gretchen and Slade and Heather said exactly this: “I’m trying to figure out Alexis and my thing with her is that she’s very…” and while she pauses to find the right word, Terry goes, “Phony.” And Heather goes, “That’s not what I was going to say!” And now it has turned into the insult of the century, as though Terry went out of his way to point out to numerous people on numerous occasions that Alexis is the phoniest person he’s ever met. Tamra’s to blame because that is how she framed it to Alexis and she wasn’t even there when he said it! I think Heather was right when she said that Terry was just parroting what he’d heard other people say about Alexis because it’s really not like he’d spent any time with her. It’s SO STUPID. At any rate, he’s trying to explain to Jim that Alexis comes off as inauthentic and Jim goes, “You’re talking about my wife?” Yes, Jim. You know the one who doesn’t wear the pants? Heather approaches and tries to get in on the conversation, saying that she and Alexis had a nice heart-to-heart in Costa Rica. Remember the intervention? Just then Tamra (inappropriately) pulls up a chair and Jim snaps, “I’m not doing this!” and storms out of the party. He doesn’t even talk to Alexis, wave to her, call to her, let her know he’s leaving – nothing. Just storms out and gets in his car. Alexis panics and runs after him. Jim is ripping off his microphone, complaining that it’s an ambush, and as he pulls away, Alexis screams, “Babe! Babe!” and he surprisingly stops long enough to let her in the car. And you all know you’re jealous of their happy marriage.