RHOC Recap: It’s a Not-Celebration!

Recaps

By Honey Gangsta | Friday, May 11, 2012 | 12:01 am | 41 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , ,
Posted in: Real Housewives of Orange County, Recaps

Previously on the Real Housewives of Orange County, everyone went to Vegas where Gretchen proved to America that she absolutely can not sing – not even a really easy song with strippers pulling attention away from her voice.  And where Briana secretly got married at a chapel with a drive-through window.  We left Vicki just before her head exploded upon hearing the news.

Tonight we join Tamra and Vicki shopping for lingerie.  Ugh, do we really have to see this?  Who wants to watch grandmas shopping for underwear? 

“And I’ve been using fake fur to make my boobs look bigger, but I’ve got to change my clothes eventually, right?”

Oh, but I forgot there is an important issue at hand, which is that since Tamra has had her implants removed, she needs to be fitted for a brand new bra!  And since Vicki’s never had a special fitting, she’s going to get one too!  Vicki tells the lady with the tape measure that she doesn’t want a pointy bra; she wants to look natural.  Vicki, you’re not being measured for a “Mad Men” costume.  I think you’ll be all right.  It turns out that Vicki is a double F and Tamra is a D.  And that’s post-implant removal.  Whenever I see professional bra fittings on TV people are told they’re way bigger than they think.  It never sounds right.  Do the pro bra fitters have their own scale?  Either way, Vicki is offended because she doesn’t even think she’s a D. 

“My new boyfriend hates boobs.  HATES them.  So I made mine smaller.”

Once they get their bras squared away, they wander into the sexy lingerie section, which is just gross.  Tamra suggests Vicki gets something for Briana’s honeymoon, and Vicki gets all fidgety.  Tamra says she thinks that with all of the things going on in Briana’s life with her parents and her health, she may be reaching for something that just isn’t right.  Who can blame her?  Also, it makes total sense that Ryan would want to get married after being deployed.  Isn’t that pretty common for military guys?  Wanting to form strong connections at home?  Anyway, all Vicki cares about is that Briana’s eloping is making her look tired and sloppy.  Also that it robs her of the chance to be the overbearing mother of the bride.  Tamra points out that this is Briana’s decision and she’s the one who has to live with it.  How is Tamra the voice of reason here?

Over at Gretchen’s, Slade is doing the world a disservice by donning spandex biking shorts.  Gretchen is taking a curling iron to her extensions and brilliantly deduces that Slade is going for a bike ride.  She’s on her way to lunch with Tamra and wishes that Slade and Tamra would just become besties already.

Slade’s biking buddy for the afternoon is Scott, Gretchen’s dad.  I can’t believe her parents even speak to Slade.  Slade tells Scott he wants his permission to propose to Gretchen.  This again?  Doesn’t this come up a lot?  It’s like Slade gets worried that he’ll get the axe when casting for next season comes around, so he makes sure to pretend to have honorable intentions every now and then.  Then never does anything about it except charge Gretchen for his time.  Scott reminds Slade that he’s broke, a deadbeat dad, and America’s most hated man and that there’s no way his daughter is going to legally take all that on. 

“I mean, no offense, Slade.  But you’re a total loser.”

He advises Slade to get his crap in order so that maybe somewhere down the line he’ll have a chance at making a serious candidate for a husband.  I’m sure none of this will register with Slade.

At lunch with Tams and Gretch, serious cocktails are ordered and Tamra confides in Gretchen about wanting to open a fitness studio.  She stresses that it’s not a gym – it will just be a place to attend group classes.  A STUDIO.  Gretchen says that’s cool, then Tamra tells us she’s glad Gretchen is supportive about her gym.  HA! 

“So if it’s not a gym, but it’s a gym, can I get a gym membership to your gym?”

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Late one afternoon in 2005, Honey Gangsta received an invite to join a two person blog set up by her former roommate who had recently ditched LA (California knows how to party) for the bright lights of NYC (these streets will make you feel brand new, the lights will inspire you). The purpose of the blog was to continue their nightly ritual of ripping on reality TV, which could no longer be done in person. Since Honey Gangsta was still watching 18 hours of TV a day and had nothing else to do, she agreed. 10,000 hits later, HG was inspired to submit a Bachelor recap to TVgasm - no one was reporting on Officer Mayo and his time traveling DeLorean - and the rest is history. It's been said that she writes what you're thinking. It's been said she is a genius - a Blogger Laureate of her time. It's also been said that the earth is flat and no one landed on the moon, so you just never know. With her keen observations, and colorful commentary, Honey Gangsta is beloved the world over.

41 Comments

  1. 1
    tvsnarkeling
    Posted May 11, 2012 at 6:17 am

    When did Tamara become my favorite and the voice of reason?? The bra shopping- I looked and the French sizing is the same as US. And Vicki states she hates big boobies yet she had implants, and they droop. I think Tamara looks great now. Go Briana!! Live your life. Vicki does, so why not you. Take your husband and move east away from the crazy one. The speach before introducing Briana and hubby was all about her and at the very end she added Briana. Vicki never goes out of character that this is all about her.

    Michael looked very mature but isn’t he still living at home at 25 with a full time job? So we have to give it to Ryan. Even though he works with Eddie at least he has is own place.

    Not much of Alexis this week. It is a big (not pet) peeve of mine with people being late when being on time is important. I do give Alexis some slack because she is not firing on all 8 cyclinder upstairs and she has to lug big old Jimmy Chin-Chin around. She does try hard and the religion preaching is less this season.

    Brooks is creapy. He creaps me out. He is slick and I want him off my tv. His slime is oozing out of the tv and onto my floor. The speach about the boys, icky icky. After hearing Briana’s talk about the things Vicki provides for Brooks, he and Slade have a lot in common.

    Finally, Love Heather’s husband (a doctor, right??) Great humor. Heather should learn to roll with his jokes and joke with him. But it can be hard to laugh with a stick – up there.

    HG – good catch on the dresses. I read these, always but don’t have time to post.

  2. 2
    NotWithoutMyTV notwithoutmytv
    Posted May 11, 2012 at 6:43 am

    Tonight on The VICKI show, your host, VICKI!! Tonight VICKI is joined by author and composer VICKI!! Tonight’s special musical guest: VICKI!! Stand-up comedy by VICKI!!! Lighting and set design by VICKI!!! And, as always, your announcer, VICKI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tonight’s show is sponsored by VICKI Insurance! Are you protected by/from VICKI????!!!!!!

    Really Fuckin’ Tired Reality Cliches that Need to be Retired
    1. Woman calling their breasts “the girls.”
    2. Fiances asking reality dads to marry their daughters.
    3. “I’m inviting X and Y to my theme party and there had BETTER NOT BE DRAMA.”
    4. Bravo-sponsored McCareers.
    5. The phrase “Are you kidding me right now??”

  3. 3
    firefly
    Posted May 11, 2012 at 6:43 am

    I just wanted to say that I thought Briana looked amazing in the dress!! It looked much better on her than it did on Tamra!

    Also, Brooks makes me feel physically ill.

    Great recap!

  4. 4
    featherhead
    Posted May 11, 2012 at 6:59 am

    I’ll always have a soft spot for Gretchen’s dad, he won me over with the statement “Whoops, I almost stepped in a big pile of Slade!” It seems he’s had Slade’s number from the get go. I noticed he never really answered Slade’s question of “permission to marry his daughter”. Ha!
    Brook’s is Creepy McCreepyson and everytime I look at him I think “45???45???? This slimeball is younger than me, but looks older then my dad, gross!!”
    On WWHL, Alexis admitted to calling her news station to see if they had really asked Gretchen first, they denied it and she sent them a contract of exclusitivity, so no other housewife can by a “news anchor” (LOL) like her.
    Lynn Curtin is finally divorcing Frank!!

  5. 5
    cloudsinmycoffee
    Posted May 11, 2012 at 7:08 am

    Briana, the poor thing, has always been harassed by her annoyingly overbearing mother. Vicki’s an asshole for making Briana’s experiences and choices all about her. When she told the camera how SHE was going to miss planning parties, and how SHE was disappointed that this was happening to HER, just ugh. I like Donn, i can see why he became distant from her, most likely he got tired of her shit. And I love, love love that he’s still a part of the kids’ lives. Briana really does care for Donn, and if Vicki had any sort of a clue, she’d see that and respect it. No wonder Brooks is fleecing the shit out of her, she’s so into herself she can’t see two feet in front of her.

    Tamra’s son, Ryan, reeeeeeeeeeeeeeally got ugly. He wasn’t a bad looking kid, but as he gets older he seems to be looking more Unabomber-esque. Ew. He just looks dusty and indulged. I can’t. As a mother I can get why Tamra wants to pamper her son, but he looks like he would totally take advantage. And that ugly ass beard doesn’t detract from your bald spot hon. Just saying.

    Slade, you annoy me. Ugh.

  6. 6
    NotWithoutMyTV notwithoutmytv
    Posted May 11, 2012 at 8:08 am

    Brooks has got his storyline (he’s Slade 2.0) , and he’s gonna work it ’till everybody pukes.

    And then the producers will have him work it some more.

  7. 7
    kczar
    Posted May 11, 2012 at 8:14 am

    Great recap, Honey!

    Creepy Brooks gave an interview where he stated that he and Vicki met in 2007 but were strictly friends. Uh-huh. I’m hoping that’s what Brianna brings up. I’m sure Vicki was cheating on Donn during all those “insurance conferences” she went to. She probably flew Brooksie in.

    He’s also moved to California so they can “take the relationship to the next level.” I assume that means making him a signer on her bank account.

  8. 8
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted May 11, 2012 at 8:15 am

    Sometimes I lay awake at night and think Vicki really IS dumber than Alexis.

  9. 9
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted May 11, 2012 at 8:40 am

    Please please please let Brianna drop a bomb. Like one of those bombs where you can literally see the shit hit the fan. Yes one of those.

    Brooks is laying it on too thick. I think it is ok to say it looks like you have raised some nice young men, but to elaborate and you don’t even know them is crazy pants. Then to speak about Michael’s sister after just meeting him was over the line. Catty comment normally only work with women when they don’t like someone. That’s why we have all bonded over these shows. :)

    I noticed Brianna and Tamra had on the same dress as soon as Tamra walked into the event. They both looked very nice and Tamra doesn’t look as slutty with normal people boobs.

    Gretchen is smart for thinking through a marriage to Slade. Love doesn’t pay the creditors when they come knocking at your door to evict you. Ask Lynn and Sharee.

    Poor Brianna. To have a person in your life let alone your mother who never lets you have any attention or can never let anything be about you is exhausting. I hope that Ryan is able to make her happy and shower her with all the attention her mother doesn’t let her have.

  10. 10
    mere2142
    Posted May 11, 2012 at 8:51 am

    As much as I hate Vicki, she does kind of have a point in Briana not telling her about getting married (ugh did I really just type that?). My brother got married in Vegas and not only did he not tell anyone, he kept it a secret for about 4 months. After seeing the trauma it caused my mother, I can kind of see where Vicki is coming from. That being said, I think she is WAY over the top about this whole thing revolving around HER. She can still throw a reception or whatnot and celebrate things.

    Also, why force the meeting with Brooks right then – to make it about her of course! I was pretty sure Vicki said something about gravitating toward ‘people who love you’ vesus who we love again making it one-sided. Briana was kind of an asshole about that whole meeting but I cut her some slack having had to deal with Vicki as your mom for the last 25 years.

    Totally with Tamra on Brooks fawning over Mike and Ryan – they are strangers! Stop being such a creep.

    I was convinced Tamra and Brianna had the same dress on. Thanks for confirming!!

  11. 11
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted May 11, 2012 at 9:09 am

    @(space )NWMTV

    You forgot: Key Grip…..Vicki Gunvalson

    And, how DARE YOU insult Slade like that!

    Love the double dresses and that I love Brianna and Tamra this season. Gretchy take those icky extensions out your real hair was so muh nicer. Thanks HG!

  12. 12
    hot cawfee
    Posted May 11, 2012 at 9:32 am

    I agree with ya TVSnark– I heart Terry so much that I am ok with putting up with Heather (how pretentious is she?? I mean for a big band singer)

    And Mike– MVP for coming to Mom’s shin-dig in jeans–bbwwahhaahhaaa–cause we know Vick-ster laid out his clothes and didnt wear them–lololol

    I think Brooks (shuddering) is making Slimey Slade look good. He is totally trying to keep himself on TV with Gretchen

  13. 13
    hot cawfee
    Posted May 11, 2012 at 9:33 am

    @feather– yikes !!!! and well…yay for Lynn Curtain

  14. 14
    labowner
    Posted May 11, 2012 at 10:03 am

    @ 1 TVSnarkling hate to tell you but Brianna and Ryan just bought a house 10 minutes away from Vicki. What I can’t figure out is if she bought the second house Vicki was trying to sell.

    If Vicki needs Donn to pay the mortgage, how is she planning on staying in her abode? Does she expect Brooks to help? Does Brooks know that she needs Donn’s money to pay the mortgage? Does she need Donn’s money because she is spending all of hers on Brooks and his legal problems and crotch fruit? All of this and more on the next SOAP.

    @ 5 Clouds I wonder of Tamara is making up for her past of being a crappy mom to Ryan. Where is his dad?

  15. 15
    NotWithoutMyTV notwithoutmytv
    Posted May 11, 2012 at 11:12 am

    I don’t think I’d trust Ryan alone with my guinea pig. He might try to take it to Vegas and marry it.
    But what would really worry me is that he might not wait for the ceremony before starting the wedding night activities, if you know what I mean.

    And I think you do.

  16. 16
    wow
    Posted May 11, 2012 at 11:19 am

    Cosign on everyone mentioning Tamra being the voice of reason, all season she has. Its refreshing and on top of that she has normal sized boobs now too? Who is this woman, I’m thinking Eddie is a good influence on her!

    I gotta say I would take Slade over Brooks any day, Slade is a loser but I can’t deal with that cheesy phoniness that Brooks spews. Its vomit inducing through the TV, I can’t even imagine stomaching it in person. Love Terry’s sense of humor, he’s great.

  17. 17
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted May 11, 2012 at 1:07 pm

    Mike came to the party in jeans and a button up b/c he was swamped with lining up comforter stripes in Coto all day that day.

  18. 18
    2muchbravo
    Posted May 11, 2012 at 1:47 pm

    A friend of one of the other regular posters here saw Vicki, Brooks and Mike at the Kentucky Derby. So, they’re still together. Ick!

  19. 19
    thisbuggs4u
    Posted May 11, 2012 at 2:00 pm

    I know I have said this before, but, MR Z and I went to the court house in Seattle and got married. We did not tell anyone! We were found out when a letter from Tricare came to me while I was still living with my aunt! So we did a family ceremony 5 months later. My mom still got to help pick out wedding dresses. My dad did walk me down the isle, but it wasn’t like he thought it would be. My parents had met MR Z before. They really did like him. My mom made a joke about how your car insurance will go down in price when you hit 25 or get married…we hadn’t told her that we actally were… :) What the hell is Vicki going to do when she becomes Granny Vicki?!?! You know that child isn’t going to be able to call her Grandma!

  20. 20
    whoochile
    Posted May 11, 2012 at 3:29 pm

    to steal from the T&T minicap, Vicki is a thundercunt! yes, I said cunt because it totally applies to her, bitch, hate her!!
    I am so glad Tamara took out the implants, I know she is a tiny person and those fake boobs made her look pudgy. Honestly, I work my ass off to stay slimish, there is no way I would ever add the “weight” (the appearance of weight) of fake boobies on my body. Vicki would look considerably better if she reduced the size of her saggy boobies in addition to getting a better bra (i’d still hate the shit out of her though). Ughs, I see it in the gym all the time, gals with cute figures get their implants and they instantly look heavier. Sorry for the boob rant.
    Also, from the perspective of a pilates instructor, I can’t look at Michael’s neck, freaks me the fuck out.

  21. 21
    thisbuggs4u
    Posted May 11, 2012 at 4:48 pm

    LOL Whoochile! Thundercunt :) Have you read all 513 comments over there? Ok So I may have contributed some of them, but still….Vicki is either a thundercunt or a choochwaffle, have yet to decide :)

  22. 22
    whoochile
    Posted May 11, 2012 at 5:08 pm

    omg, my head exploded and my eyes bled from reading all those comments. Coochwaffle is another great term. There was another one that someone threw around but I simply can’t plow through them again.

  23. 23
    2muchbravo
    Posted May 11, 2012 at 6:02 pm

    Coochwaffle LOL. That’s a good one. I’ve heard of twatwaffle before.

    I understand people were a little surprised by the elopement and I guess the comments are normal. But it’s not like Briana and Ryan were 18 or barely knew each other. They’d known each other for over 2 years are in their mid-twenties. Tamra was probably on her second marriage by then! So, I don’t think Briana’s acting too rashly. Besides can you imagine what Vicki would be like it they’d gone the traditional route?
    “Do you know how many hours I had to work for you to have this wedding?”
    “Since I’m paying for it I think you should go with this food and this dress.”
    “Do you know realize I have to take time off from work to go to your wedding?”
    “You are a virgin aren’t you? If you’re not, don’t talk to me about s-p-e-r-m. Ewww.”

    Can’t say I blame the girl one bit.

  24. 24
    thisbuggs4u
    Posted May 11, 2012 at 6:14 pm

    2muchbravo & whoochile, it was twatwaffle! I knew it was something like that, but I couldn’t remember…I guess if you thinkabout it, what ever is put infront of “waffle” it all means the same doesn’t it?! Yes, I just noticed I spelled coochwaffle wrong! oops

    Exactly, those two, B & R are what 25 now, she just had a major surgery, thank the lord it was not cancer, and he had done 2 tours in the Desert. As for me, eh, I knew MR Z for 4 months…hey don’t judge me!! He was going to be deployed and he told me, “I am going to marry you when I get home, lets do it now!” so we did. That my friends was 8 yrs ago….well to get technical 8 in july :)

  25. 25
    Tmurda
    Posted May 12, 2012 at 7:11 am

    *sigh*…..I’m totally a chick who is all about having a real, go-all-out wedding, but I have to say that if vicki was my mom, I might just opt for elopement as well. Almost all moms get a bit psycho when their daughter is planning a wedding, and vicki is already a controlling lunatic in every day life, so “momzilla vicki” sounds like something i’d be willing to give up my dream wedding to avoid, just like bri did.
    Vicki MASTERED the whole i’m-gonna-announce-my-daughters-elopement-while-pretending-to-sound-happy-but-too-overwhelmed-by-the-emotional-betrayel-of-it-all-to-hold-back-my-devastation-and-appear-convincing thing. Her announcement was nothing more than a way to get sympathy. I love briana, and she can do whatever her lil heart pleases, in my book. If your mom disposes of your awesome stepfather because things got rough for a min, then jumps right into a relationship with some poor, clingy, alchy, creepy tool, then your life decisions are no longer up for criticism by said mom. Case closed.
    Deep down, Gretchen has no respect for Slade (not unlike the rest of the planet), therefore, she will NEVER marry him. I bet she has to get drunk as hell to fuck him. For real.
    I’m obsessed with Heather and Terry. They are an awesome couple. I totally feel like she should get on my nerves, but she just doesn’t. Terry’s comment about smacking her around was hysterical, and EXACTLY the kind of thing my boyfriend and I would find funny, and maybe even a weird form of verbal affection.
    Ryan and Micheal are both douche-bags, and have turned into exactly the kind of young men one could expect to come of being “raised” by an attention-starved mother whom they have zero respect for.
    Lastly, Alexis will always be the dumbest, most un-appealing housewife in history, to me. Iv’e said it many times before……I have no problem with Jim, and don’t see him as the skeez that others do, simply cuz alexis is just THAT bad, that her awefulness over-shadows his character defects by a mile.

  26. 26
    caligal
    Posted May 12, 2012 at 8:29 am

    Rumor has it in OC, Brianna is four months pregnant. Dear Reality Show Gawds (aka) Miss Andy, please get that little revelation on camera. We will finally get to watch Vickie stroke out.
    Congratulations, Grandma Vickie!!!!!

  27. 27
    featherhead
    Posted May 12, 2012 at 8:33 am

    @ Tmurda – Where you been girl??? I miss your recaps and no one calls me a hooker anymore, lol!! Hope all is well, great to see you posting!

  28. 28
    maryedith
    Posted May 12, 2012 at 4:27 pm

    Re the first comment (I am totally missing the Reply button now, btw): I thought Vicki always said she hated small boobs. “Who wants small boobs? That’s gross,” is what I remember her saying when Tamra first said she was getting her implants out.

  29. 29
    Tmurda
    Posted May 12, 2012 at 11:04 pm

    @featherhead- I missed ya’ll too, Hooker! Ive been busting my ass finishing Paramedic school. (Finished this past thurs, yay). 12-16hr shifts on the ambulance a few times a week…class from 9-5 wed…serving tables at night…ya know. AND caught up in new love, so I kinda fell off the face of the earth for a min. Thnx for asking! xoxo

  30. 30
    featherhead
    Posted May 13, 2012 at 6:13 am

    @ Tmurda – awesome! Glad you’re back!

  31. 31
    2muchbravo
    Posted May 13, 2012 at 8:54 pm

    Bravo Tmurda!

    @ caligal They’ll be doing the reunion sometime soon. Someone ought to submit a question to Miss Andy requesting a confirmation of Briana’s pregnancy from Grandma Vicki.

  32. 32
    maryedith
    Posted May 13, 2012 at 9:10 pm

    I love Brianna and her husband seems like a straight-up guy, but I think she and Vicki are co-dependent to an alarming degree. Running off and getting married feels to me like passive aggressively getting back at Vicki for what she’s doing with Brooks. Not that Vicki doesn’t deserve it, but it will be so sad if it turns out that Brianna sabotaged her own life just to get Vicki to notice her.

  33. 33
    Melanie
    Posted May 13, 2012 at 9:26 pm

    First, WHY has Vicky never answered why it doesn’t bother her that Brooks is a deadbeat Dad, in debt and broke? Can Andy Cohen just stop the show, just halt the show in its tracks and make Vicki answer that question, please?

    Can everybody please bombard Andy Cohen with that question to Vicky??:
    WHY has Vicky never answered why it doesn’t bother her that Brooks is a deadbeat Dad, in debt and broke?

    VICKY: WHY have you never answered why it doesn’t bother you that Brooks is a deadbeat Dad, in debt and broke?

    Remember a few season ago when Vicki went to that summer town to whoop it up she got into a pool with a look- a- like to her husband, who was hitting on her- was that Brooks? Was that the first Brooks spotting?

  34. 34
    rebecca pressley
    Posted May 14, 2012 at 7:38 am

    My Daily Affirmation: “I tell you this, A car with no gas will not get you far, but a car with gas will get you down the road and back

  35. 35
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted May 14, 2012 at 7:41 am

    Ok, I know I shouldn’t do this but how excited is for Vicki and Brianna’s EPIC fight while Vicki is wearing a Skunk pelt?

    I am!!!!!!!!!!

  36. 36
    LAC LAC
    Posted May 14, 2012 at 11:25 am

    @Gypsy! So am I – so that thing is still a part of Vicki’s wardrobe? :)

    Funny recap for a clusterfuck of passive aggressive fun in time for Mother’s Day! OMG, Vicki…short of wire hangers, you would give Joan Crawford a run for the money. You expect everyone to dance a happy dance, no questions asked, when you bring in ole conny Brooks around to smother everyone with his patented brand of southern fried gravy smarm, but everyone else needs your clearance to live their lives. Neither your son or your daughter are ready for this new relationship – short of locking them in a closet with Brooks for days, the bonding will have to wait. And Brianna stating what a lot of us are thinking is just icing on the truffle cake. And for the 400th time, IT IS NOT ALL ABOUT YOU, YA TWITCHY HEIFFA!!

    I kinda liked the lunch with Gretchen and Tamra (OH, GOD! DON’T HATE ME!” :) ) only because it was one of the few times I felt a geniune sense of friendship. Two girls talking about an idea and about relationships and making sense. It was sweet.

    Terry is funny – Heather should let him be, because he makes her human. He is my fav husband so far.

    Alexis and Chimbo’s time on my screen was mercifully short.

    Slade getting the 411 from Gretchen’s dad was fun to watch. No, you douche, not everything can be explained away as some media rumor. Especially when it is true.

  37. 37
    TWhit
    Posted May 14, 2012 at 2:58 pm

    I have to say Brooks is my new happy. When he comes on my screen, I flap my arms, squee, and wait to for the stupid that’s about to fly out. ‘Cause it’s always epic.

    That being said, if I met him in person, I’d probably try to cut him.

  38. 38
    robotmonkey
    Posted May 15, 2012 at 4:49 am

    Kudos to the RHOC! They’ve thrown off last year’s trend, the pocket gay, for an even more cutting edge accessory! The “pocket douche”! Nothing screams “I’m the boss” or “My tank is full” more than toting around a balding, chubby, financially emasculated man with child support issues. I think this is going to sweep America, people.

  39. 39
    realhousewivesfan
    Posted May 15, 2012 at 3:54 pm

    Alright I actually was creeped out when Brooks busted out an obnoxious laugh brining up to michael his sister’s eloping.
    These women can’t pull of the fancy look cause they’re not. Tamara is my favorite this season though, i wish she and her boyfriend would get married soon so shes a housewife again. for some reason
    it does make a difference to me. Vicky however is more interesting in the mist of this divorce, Brianne is rebelling! Brooks is a charector to watch out for. SO i s gretchen wasting her time with slade? seems she’s neverr gonna marry him. i agree withe everyone i put up with heather cause i like Terry! lol :)

  40. 40
    Surly Girly Surly Girly
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 4:35 pm

    So here’s the deal:

    I cannot stress out over how creepy Brooks is – how transparently a grifter he is, what a slime ball, phony loser. Why? Because if he is what Vicki wants … *GOOD LUCK* with that! I hope she gets what she deserves! She is hell-bent on being with this guy, has blinders on. Why do I care how she’s used and abused down the road?! Go for it, Brooks! If she’s that stupid, then you’re the smart one and she’s ripe for the plucking.

    Since I cannot stand the woman, I won’t be crying in my beer…

  41. 41
    Surly Girly Surly Girly
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 4:42 pm

    @ Melanie who wrote: “Remember a few season ago when Vicki went to that summer town to whoop it up she got into a pool with a look- a- like to her husband, who was hitting on her- was that Brooks? Was that the first Brooks spotting?”

    I was thinking the very same thing. So I went and downloaded the episode from iTunes and watched it several times, freeze-framing when the mug was on screen. Conclusion … no (frowny face). The guy has a different nose than Brooks – that’s what I’m pegging my decision on. Brooks has a “ski jump” while Vegas Dude had a down-turned shnozz. But that trip certainly showed how messy a drunk Vicki can be…

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