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Friday, June 22, 2012
6:00 am
91 Comments
Tagged: fondant, fur coat, hilarious, Honey Gangsta, real housewives of orange county, recap, ridiculous, spoof, tvgasm
And guess what. We’re out! To be continued!
Next week! Heather throws Sarah out of the party, Vicki confronts Briana’s new husband,and Tamra finally voices her true opinion about Humpty Dumpty, provoking Vicki’s scary scream. We’ve always got to leave the season-end party with a bang.
So seriously. The catalyst for our end-of-the-season drama was a fondant bow? Eaten by SARAH? What the flip?
Flipit’s Coming Next Week Video Redub
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91 Comments
That’s pretty funny that you said “an anonymous friend of Heather’s” because wasn’t that the “actress” she went to for advice on renewing her career?
Also, I kept thinking “She raped my cake bow!” because of Flipit’s redub and it made the silliness of the whole party so much more awesome.
It was VERY clear that Bravo intended the engagement trip for Gretchen and Slade – the way Gretchen squeed, “[Bora Bora] is my FAVORITE place in the woooorld” made it obvious that she was supposed to have been there. I guess Gay Eddie is just as big a fame whore as Crooks (I read that in a Gasmii comment (I can’t remember who) and love it, so totally stealing – if it was you, feel free to take credit for wonderous naming).
I watched some of the lame Bobble Head “20 most memorable” Real Housewives reuinions last night, and they showed the one where Tamra was accusing Gretchen of cheating on her dying boyfriend Jeff the whole season, and MAN, Gretchen used to be so pretty. I don’t know if it’s her makeup now or what, but she used to be such a pretty girl. Now? Mm. No.
Anyway, I want that fountain globe the DuNOBOWs had. I was as mesmerized by it as Elaine was by that spinning tire display on Seinfeld when she stopped having sex. I miss Jeanna and Kara!
Oh, I have a question – I noticed Brooks brought the hanger AND plastic bag covering for the coat back to the limo. Wouldn’t he have just left that in the house? I smell loaner jacket!!!! Anyone else have a reason for that?
Also, is it just me or is anyone else waiting with bated breath for someone to swallow the real diamond? I would love that just for the chance to see Brooks and Slade wrestle each other over the right to be poopy patrol for the hapless victim!
I’m pretty certain that the Bora Bora trip was filmed after HEather’s party. No way would Tamra not want any event to be about anyone but her….she’s just not that magnanimous!
Is it just me or does Heather look like Jack Skellington from Nightmare before Christmas?
@S-natch…I was kinda worried about the diamond too. Or that someone might break a tooth, trying to eat it thinking it was one of the edible type that Timree put on the cake (which I didn’t see). Wasnt the top of the cake supposed to have edible diamonds spilling out of it? (didn’t timree do heathers painting party too? cause I’m afraid she won’t be getting business outta this job)
Great recap, Honey!
I know @Jaime Sommers!
It’s weird..her style has devolved into Forever 21 territory.
This episode made up for the dull ass season they had.
Like I said before, who the hell is Drunk Sarah again? At first she was Gretchen’s friend but then Alexis stole (borrowed?) her as her friend and now she’s Alexis’ friend? I feel like she’s the Dana of the RHOC and was cast as an extra on the show but got edited out. Her relevance is none.
Heather losing her shit about the bow was extremely humorous, as was Drunk Sarah’s “I have a sugar problem”. No bitch, no you don’t. And I was surprised that Alexis stood up for her friend, wrong or not. Usually she takes it on the chin (ha!) but she really did go to bat for this girl. I was amazed at the sudden appearance of a spine.
Vicki looked like a total moron as she paraded that ugly ass coat around. Nothing screams desperate than you repeatedly saying how your boyfriend bought you something. Honestly, if he did things like that for her on the regular, then she wouldn’t be parading the fact that he bought her a gift. So sad.
Dead Eyes Eddie and Fake Tears Tamra are so made for each other. Whenever Tamra fake cries she pokes herself in the corner of her eye, and I think that all that fake crying is going to damage her eyeball soon.
Gretchen, wearing that baby bird on your head wasn’t cute. Also, the dress so didn’t fit you. Sorry.
I was absolutely thrilled to see Kara and her mom. I really think out of all the OC kids Kara fared the best. She’s grown into a beautifully smart young woman, and I think the way she diffused Fake Tears Tamra was brilliant. Her approach to a situation that probably really upset her with humor was gracious and showed a maturity that Tamra will never attain. She really was amazing and looked amazing as well. And Eddie? You don’t need to intervene in the conversation. The shit had NOTHING to do with you, and besides, Jeana wasn’t going to start shit with her child between her and Tamra. Chill the fuck out.
Kudooz to Briana with her snarky comeback to her mother’s over the top gloating about that ugly fur coat with the $20 dress comment. I almost swallowed my tongue when she ever so dismissively said “oh yeah? you like my dress? $20!” You go girl!! Don’t let your mother’s craziness take over your happiness. And that BS conversation with Ryan and the whole “You stole my baby” crap, really lady? Cause your baby has a better head on her shoulders than that. You’re an ass.
Did anyone else fall off their chair when Nugget Ryan shut down Tamra’s digging for gossip about Brianna?
I would have asked Sarah to leave. The cake is for everyone and if you stick your nasty hands in it then that’s less cake left for the other people at the party.
Normally when people with big houses have parties like that they rope off or have someone saying that this part of the house is off limits. I only have a two bed room apartment but if I did have a bigger house I definitely wouldn’t want a bunch of people rummaging through it. Friends or not.
I think I need to go back and watch the episode again. Like MaryE I think I am missing some things because I am thinking of Flipit’s redubs.
@classy — this is getting into NWMTV territory with the cynicism, but do you think that was the real cake? It looked both unimpressive and not like the description. I think she said white bow, for instance. And yes, it was supposed to have diamonds pouring out of it. That cake was small and kind of tacky. A perfect cake to have on hand if you know that the script calls for someone to desecrate it. Someone uninvited who shows up dressed like a hooker. Sarah was totally hired for this occasion and I bet Alexis is the only one who didn’t know it!
@Jaime Sommers – I didn’t see Andy’s special, but I’ve noticed this whole season (and last season too) that Gretchen has done something to her face – and it ain’t pretty. Is it from too much weight loss? Bad veneers? Bad plastic surgery? What is it?!
And, these cows are all HORRIBLE! The whole lot of ‘em!!!
OK, maybe it is my midwest ignorance but WHY is everyone wearing fur?? Do you really need fur in California? Even in the winter? I was so distracted by this I could barely pay attention to Heather fake over reacting about the cake. Yeah be pissed but to babble on and on with a clearly shitfaced person is just a waste of time. And she is a grown woman. Its not like Sarah set your house on fire.
Back to the furs..I mean they were all outside and some people were in little strapless dresses while Vicky and Alexis were decked out in fur. So either one group was freezing or one group was sweating to death. IDK . Very thrown off by that haha.
Also I love how Vicki was like “this proves he has money, he bought me a fur”. Its not that impressive. It would be more impressive if he bought you a car or a really expensive peice of jewlery, IMO. Its nice but nothing to brag about THAT much.
Alexis standing up for shitfaced Heather was unexpected. I think we are going to see her come into her own in the next few seasons. And I am pretty sure I hate Jeanna and don’t really ever need to see her in the episodes. Never liked her from the beginning of the series.
Great Recap!!
This was one of the best episodes I’ve seen; glad it is in two parts so we can see what happens next in “cake-gate”. A few observations…Vicki’s son Michael has obviously had enough of this crap and didn’t want to come to the party. I still feel bad for him for when Vicki showed up at his college with beer and a “Woo Hoo” as she walked in the door. Seriously one of the most cringe-worthy moments in RHOC history. Slade showed up at the party looking like the Secret Service, maybe hoping he’d score a tip from Heather’s house manager at the end of the evening as he tried to blend in with the catering staff? Yes, Nugget is over his mom’s crap; loved that he shut her down right away; I’m sure he is just thrilled to know that he’ll be dealing with another in a long line of stepdads. Simon might be looking a little better now that he knows he’s going to have to deal with Betty-Eddie. How is it that the guests were allowed to just invite random other guests from the past? I was hoping Laurie and George would show up with their dozens of kids, and let’s throw in Jo so that she, Laurie and Gretchen can compare notes on “50 Shades of Slade”. The whole fur coat thing was so pathetic, and suspicious. Just a few episodes ago Vicki was thrilled when Brooks showed up at her office with a Starbucks coffee for her and now it’s a mink coat? I am looking forward to when the fur really flies (ha ha, I just realized that was funny) next episode regarding Brooks being a leach. I really miss Don; he was such a nice guy and really knew how to put Vicki in her place. I would have paid for him to show up as Geana’s date; Vicki’s reaction would have been so priceless as she shoved Brooks over the cliffs of the Duborow mansion and gave the coat to the restroom attendant. I would raise my glass of “Champs” to that!
Body temperature in Southern Cali adjusts to the mildness and people do get chilly, according to those who live there. Cold enough for fur? No. (That’s why they drape said furs over their shoulders and leave them open. ) But then, it doesn’t get truly cold enough for fur in NYC either.
I had a different take on Kara. I thought the “raincoat” thing was taken out of the Tamra/Gretchen feud playbook, and I found it totally annoying. I didn’t find her mature; I thought she was like a very beautiful steamroller. But this episode was so fake I didn’t know what to think of anyone.
The fur was completely bizarre but not because it’s not cold. Depending on where you live in California it can get very cold (by our standards anyway) and also depending on the time of year. I lived by the beach in Southern California my entire life and the ocean air can make 60 degrees feel freezing. I go to places further inland and it’s 35 degrees and it doesn’t seem that chilly to me. A lot of it has to do with the ocean air. Just like it’s rarely humid in Southern California but in the south you practically die of heat in the summer. The weather is just different in different places and it’s not about temperature all the time, it’s about moisture in the air. There is also the fact that just because you live in Southern California doesn’t mean you don’t often go places where it snows. We have huge mountains nearby that we often visit in the winter for skiing etc. Not to mention if you have more money like these hos, er ladies, do you would expect to go to ski resorts from time to time. So. Furs. Sure.
That said…Furs? WTF?! There is so much anti-fur sentiment in Southern California that I can’t imagine anyone going out of their way to proclaim that they have ACTUAL real fur coats that are not handed down from prior less fur conscious generations. It’s so retro to do that. It’s like a 1950s purchase for the little woman, not a 2012 purchase. A car, expensive jewelry, a trip — but a fur? I don’t get that.
The cake was ridiculous. If that cost $550 I would not let anyone know that’s what I paid for it. Total rip off if that’s true. I don’t know these people, I don’t like these people, I think they clearly have first world problems and need to get a grip and get over themselves BUT — I wanted to reach through the TV and punch Drunk Sarah in the throat just on general principles. She needs a beat down. Bad. Sadly no one will ever give it to her. Pity.
Vicki and her Briana angst and Ryan hate can STFU. What a loathsome mother. She thinks she is mother of the year but she forgets we’ve been watching her since Briana was in high school. We’ve had a front row seat to that unfolding mother-daughter blowup for years now. You go Briana! Seriously. Go, Briana! Go far and fast! Get away from that sucking hole that masquerades as your mother. She is not going to change and you are not going to change that relationship. It’s a done deal.
Excellent recap as always. Loved the Heather-as-raving-lunatic pic.
What I found annoying (besides the stupid party and Heather’s over the top reaction to dumbass eating the bow) was everyone wondering how Alexis was going to act. Gretchen was annoyed she was acting like nothing happened. HOW THE HELL was she supposed to act? If she brought up the “intervention” at the party, everyone would have been all over her about bringing drama to Heather’s “big night”. It wasn’t the place to get into it.
Something seems to have gone haywire for the producers this season and I would love to know what it was. Maybe Brianna’s operation and elopement threw their plot lines out? As someone (was it Classy?) said last week, Heather’s new house plot was so clumsily dropped I didn’t even know where they were supposed to be in this episode. And I’m sure we were supposed to see more of Sarah because it made absolutely zero sense that Alexis would be going out to lunch with her. I could buy her as a friend of Gretchen, but Alexis? No way.
@trkaelin — That bothered me SO MUCH too! And it’s such a constant feature of this show. On the one hand they all say “I don’t want any drama!” and then they all bitch because the person in question isn’t acting…dramatic enough.
Thanks for the fur explanation! I think I was just thrown off by not only the fur in cali but the some people wearing fur and some people wearing little dresses and seeming fine haha.
I’m from chicago burbs and once it hits..say 45 degrees you see people prancing about in shorts and sandals, haha. We save our furs for the -10 days (lol jk!)
How much longer they can work this contrived party and vacation thing?? I don’t even know who this Sarah person IS, but of course, Alex brings her, because Sarah is (apparently) bat shit crazy and an alkie. To a party where Alexis knows everybody hates her. And she knows this because she just went on vacation with them. Where they all said they hated her.
Maybe next week, SARAH will invite them all to St. Kits. And they’ll all go. For no reason in the world. Giving interviews all the way saying “I don’t even know why I’m going with these bitches, but there had better not be drama!!!” It was never real, but it’s gotten too fake now.
I didn’t know Tamera’s make up gun had a setting higher than “Raccoon Whore”. I love learning new things, don’t you?
I wish I could get the script so I could keep up. The inconsistent story lines a confusing me and that’s saying alot. I watch Pretty Little Liars AND Vampire Diaries.
@maryedith- I found it hypocritical she didn’t want any drama at her party yet she made a big stink over the bow lol. She could have just pulled Sarah to the side quietly and asked her “WTF?” But (since this show is in NO WAY scripted in parts by any means whatsoever) I guess they needed some drama to the season finale. I would have expected to find this kinda drama at a party for a 6 year old, not for “classy” women.
If Crooks (use it if you want S-Natch
) bought Vickie a fur coat as a gift, wouldn’t it be in a huge box with a bow, not a garment bag? He looked so crappy getting out of the limo at Vickie’s house that I thought he was carrying a suit in the garment bag for him to change into. Scumbag didn’t even shave to go to the par-tee!
I died when Vickie told the limo driver that Crooks bought her a mink coat, and at the party she didn’t even give anyone a chance to compliment her on the coat before blurting out “See, Crooks has money”" Although, if he did buy it, chances are he used their Joint Checking Account.
Crooks was so clueless about what to do with that coat that I’m 100% sure it was handed to him by a Bravo producer as he was stepping into his limo. If he’d bought it himself a) he would have brought the cameras with him, or b) the shop people would have given him advice on how to present it.
Poor little minks that had to die for that hags coat. Why couldn’t he get her a nice watch or a bracelet or something? Who the hell buys furs as gifts anymore? Something smells fishy.
And, will somebody please tell me what is wrong with Gretchen’s face?
Does anyone remember that in season one Briana (a senior in high school) was dating and kind of engaged to a nice boy whose goal was to be a fireman and Vickie was just beside herself about it? Because ‘fireman’ wasn’t good enough for her daughter? Because a fireman would never pull in the huge amounts of money that she felt Briana should have in a husband? Now fast forward to season umpty-seventy and Briana has married a guy in the military. Briana clearly has a type. And Vickie, to me, clearly hates it. I think Vickie is still hoping Briana will find some nice investment banker or perhaps a ‘consultant’ and rake in the dough as a wealthy ho-wife and it is killing her that she has wasted her marriage on someone ‘beneath’ her like this.
For all of her moralizing Vickie lacks any actual understanding of the deeper and more meaningful things of life. It’s all shiny shiny objects and pretentiousness with her. Which makes the whole Crooks thing a total mystery to me. She wants him because he fills some need she has (or the producers drugged her up and foisted him on her) but she cannot accept his actual station in life so she has to build him up and ‘fix’ him up. He’s a fixer-upper. But Briana’s choices are inappropriate. Yeah. Sure.
@AYLDT, You’re right about Brianna. She is also a nurse so obviously she likes people who serve and protect others.
Maybe Vicki thought she’d end up with a doctor, but he aren’t on the front lines like a fireman or military man.
Joint checking account? Hope Briana and Michael weren’t relying on an inheritance.
Sara Winchester was probably going to join the cast and then Bravo found out what a poor lush she was and said hmmm we already have Ramona and Taylor Shana Ford do we need another one in the mix? Anyone think Sara read up on Taylor’s usage of the name Ford to fraud folks and tried to do the same with the Winchester name?
Does Bravo want me to believe that is the cake that Heather choose for her name changing party? Someone’s kid at Bravo just open a bakery? That looked like the top to the real cake.
You would be amazed at how wimpy people are when it comes to the weather out here. The amount of down coats, scarves, hats, gloves/mittens, and UGG boots worn by chicks in San Francisco could keep the UP warm on the coldest nights.
I think Heather was over-reacting (and we can see why she gave up acting, ham!) to the cake because she needed something to keep her on this show. Heather seems to have a good head on her shoulders and when rando lady told her about the cake, she was a little pissed but then was like whatever. It was Tammy Sue that got her riled up and goaded Heather and Terry into making a much bigger deal. Cakegate could have been a non-event (and should have been) but that wouldn’t have made for good TV.
So much drama on every installment is over a stupid word (“insecure”, RHOBH) or perceived slight (not letting Simon speak at a pride parade, RHONY) or joke (THE COOKBOOK, RHONJ) etc, ad infinitum. But that’s why we watch, right?
I heart Briana and her choice in men. I agree with Classy and Yourlittledogtoo… Stupid vicky needs to back off and be proud of her daughters hubby!! It pisses me off!
Vicky is clearly not the voice of reason when it comes to men relationships and dating so I really hope Briana does not even acknowlege Vickys “concerns” .
Anyone remember when Briana was considering joining the Military to be a nurse ?? How did Crazy Vicky manage to produce such a wonderful young lady??
That’s an interesting way to look at Vicki, for sure. She’s always talking about how “realistic” she is, about money, etc, but she’s actually always running away from it. She thinks that if you make enough money you won’t have to deal with reality. If you are a controlling enough parent you won’t have to deal with your kids as real people. Etc.
Andyourlittledog you must not be from out here and Vicki obviously wasn’t keeping up with the insane salaries for fireman especially after 9/11. They make well into the 6 figures, great benefits and have enough time off to have another full time job if they choose. I know plenty of firemen here in SF with places in Tahoe.
@labowner, so glad you think the cake was fake too. I don’t know why but it really bugged me that we were expected to believe that Heather wouldn’t have shaken all of LA down to get the cake she really ordered if that little pink thing was what she really got. She had all day, after all.
YAY!! Funny recap on the drama at the “wonderful of me to change my name” pink party. Thank you!
Heather – would it kill you to soften the makeup just a little? While you were getting your hair did, I was waiting for the “mirror, mirror on the wall” incantation. Morticia Adams called and would like to do lunch next week. I did enjoy her outrage about the cake, if only to watch Terry be adorable.
Yeah, it’s a fucking cake, but don’t touch it, Sarah Slur! Do you go to weddings and stick your face into the cake before it is cut? Maybe if you didn’t get your primary calorie intake from the bottom of a martini glass, you might have noticed things on trays that you stick in your mouth and chew on. They are known as appetizers, ya drunk heiffa. Not everthing you stick in your mouth is going to buy you something afterwards, but at least it will slow down the alcohol you are guzzling down. Think about it.
Alexis – if your basis of reality is from Sarah, you are in trouble.
Gretchen – what the hell were you wearing? What the hell was Slade wearing? what the hell?
Tamra – really? really? really? (I cannot get over the hilarity of Flipit’s redub) Seriously, she is catty little bitch. I have to say I was impressed with Ryan shutting her down. And if she ever gets anything dribbling down her face that resembles a tear, I will eat a cake ribbon!
And Vicki – yeah, the fur coat does it – YOU WIN!!! Brooks is rollling in stacks and filling your love tank and blah, blah, blah….She had that thing glued on her back. Remember when Gretchen got her motorcycle and Vicki was all dismissive about people showing off gifts? Well, Vicki doesn’t!!! And it is different because it is Vicki, and she has not been happy for a long time and INSURANCE! Loved Brianna’s response. Some of these OC kids have turned out ok!
As for Kara – yeah, she is pretty, but she is not nearly the wit she thinks she is. I think she is of the impression that because she wrinkles her nose and mugs for the camera, she is Kathy Griffin.
Is it just me, or was the dressing for this party weird? With some of the overdressing going on, I kept looking for Alexis and Crystal to show up and have a fight at the fountain.
Folks Don was around. He is the influence on Briana that makes her normal.
LAC since the party was so last minute I was wondering if people were stopping by on their way to other holiday parties as it was Christmas time. And the sun is still out when Alexis arrives so that has to be around 4pm, if not earlier, in December? Me thinks this was a stop by for apps/champs and then go on with your evening.
@Yanksfan, I think Heather was already upset that Sarah was there. So the cake just gave her a reason to let out those emotions.
I also hate when people have been disrespectful to something of yours and tell you get over it I’ll buy you a new one. No the party is tonight when else will I need a have a “no reason bravo wrap up party but say it’s something else that doesn’t mean a damn thing to anyone”.
@labowner – you might be right about that.
God I would love an apps and champs party!!! Like today…
@ Maryedith … Isnt’t Vicki different? I feel like I watched the demise of a person. Going to Michael’s dormroom and flirting with the college kids and woohooing was crazy behavior, and cringe worthy, but wasnt there also a sense of fun?
Vicki – when this all started was so different. This whole thing got to her. She just became way too busy being jealous of what she thought everyone else had and lost complete control of herself. I often wonder if Vicki wishes she could go back in time. She had a husband, a beautiful home, a fulfilling job, great kids and there was a sense that she also had fun – which she earned through hard work – the lake house, the vacations, etc. It’s too bad that Vicki could never just relax and be content with her own awesome life. I truly think she looked around and did too many comparisons without realizing that she was comparing herself to people who were not engaged in reality.
Vicki so depeerately wanted to be Tamara. She wanted Don to be Simon. It’s like she could not ascertain that Simon and Tamara were a young couple with toddlers who were in a complete different stage in thier marriage. Vicki so desperately wanted to be Laurie and get Mercedes delivered to her outside of work. Laurie was busy trying to keep her son out of prison, her daughters out of poverty and hang on to George who I think left his wife and mistress to be with her. Vicki should have went home to her manshion, her kids and had taco night with Donn – she couldn’t find it in herself to realize she was better than all of them!
Too bad.
When I look at some of those women, I remember the saying: After certain age a woman needs to choose between her face and her ass…
Clearly Gretchen chose her ass. She has enviable figure, but her face looks gaunt and old. It could be also too many injectables, and caked on make up.
She reminds me of Kim from RH of Atlanta. She was passable at first, but now she looks like a drag queen.
aliens.rock – I agree. That is why I choose my face. Well, actually my ass gave me no choice and refuses to return my calls. But I am happy with my relationship with my face…really
Mr. Gyspy said: “Who is that awesome guy that just told that girl that, that ‘was not cool’”? Well, I told him it’s was amazeballs Terri! Duh!
I cannot wait for this reuinon!
Naming party cake scandal is the new Christening unattended baby scandal.
If Brooks the Hugger came up to me with arms outstretched, I’d knee him in the nuts.
@44. Vicki has absolutely no sense of humor. None.
@Aliens. Depending on the lighting, I sometimes can’t distinguish between my ass and my face.
I hope they do a montage of Heather saying “Champs” at the reuinon, so obnoxious. I will also never type or utter that word again.
WASN’T THE WHOLE POINT OF THE EYEBROWS INITIAL INTRODUCTION TO MOVE??? I SAW NARY A ROLL OF PACKING TAPE. I CALL BULLSHIT!
To the above commentors: I too agree, Gretch used to be so pretty and her real hair is gorgeous. She looks so Fug now, ick, ick ick.
Also I love how all the ‘first marriage’ kids of these hoes, all have better sense than their parents. It’s pretty awesome actually. I
@Honey Gangsta That’s the best Heather Head ever! And you had me ROFLing from the 1st sentence.
I really liked this episode! Even though I was disappointed.
I was expecting to see Drunk Sarah break off the whole bow and eat it up! The promos were misleading. Which is on Bravo.
But us not getting that scene is 100% Drunk Sarah’s fault. She blew her big chance. You had to pause to even see where that little bit was pinched off. And they didn’t show her even doing that. I bet she got too drunk to eat any cake bows.
So an intern or something had to go do it. That was not even close to a qualified professional. So they just broke off that little bitty piece.
@labowner: I didn’t say firemen didn’t make good money. I said Vickie didn’t think a fireman would make big bucks and wasn’t worthy of Briana. She actually had that conversation with her daughter and also some talking heads about it. She didn’t want Briana ‘settling’ for a fireman and not having the finest things in life like her mother. The woman is heinous.
And yes, firemen in some departments make pretty good money as they should, it’s very difficult and dangerous work and not everybody can do it. But they will never make investment banker money. You don’t become a fireman to get rich. And Vickie wanted Briana to marry someone who would be rich.
As for the wimpiness of our reaction to weather out here, yeah we are. It always amazes me that we tend to take it as a given that you don’t take the baby for a walk, for instance, if it’s a cold day. ‘But’s it cold!’ While the rest of the world just bundles the little tykes up and goes out like normal. It’s like we forget you can put a coat on a kid and go outside anyway. We are weird like that, we lose perspective. Of course it doesn’t help that our newscasts literally go outside and give us updates on whether it’s sprinkling yet on Mulholland, etc when there’s the slightest chance of any rain. Our weather is kind of bland so anything that varies from it usually produces hysteria.
It was Catherine Deneuve who made the famous “choose your face or your ass” comment. I think it may rhyme in French, not sure.
And I too thought it was strange that Sarah took such a tiny part of the bow.
Seriously, what was up with the house? Did Heather and Terry make a decision not to show it off to the viewers after all or something? Why did they go to all the trouble of showing us her old place and then only show us the main lobby and back yard of this one? They could have rented the place for the occasion for all we know. I wonder if the kids were at Uncle Quiet Riot’s house?
I’m trying to remember, but wasn’t it just a lot that Tamra was showing them? They couldn’t have built that house in this amount of time, could they? But it looked like the same lot.
I wish I could delete those last two comments. I thought from some other comments that this was Heather’s “new house,” but I read what you guys were saying wrong. Sorry.
Rosemary’s Baby:
How cute! Do you have TWO sets of adorable dimples??! LOL
I want them to do Real Housewives All Stars. Like on Project Runway.
Here’s my picks (at least today) Ramona (NY), Nene (ATL), Teresa (NJ),
Jodi (VBC) and maybe Vicki (OC) and Kim Richards (BH)
Could you throw in a wife swap twist with it, kthx? Like, Nene with Slade, Ramona with Crooks, Kim with Eddie (grr for Tamra) and Vicki with Mario?
Actually, let’s put Vyle with Eddie and see what Tamra does.
K they would have no idea what hit them when it comes to Jody. Oh my gawd did you not love the last episode. Such a classy way to deal with problems. Are Canadians more sophisticated than us?
@maryedith YES! And put Vicki with Juicy Joe!
oops @labowner I’m going to watch the last 2 episodes now. But since she doesn’t have a husband to swap maybe we could borrow her 1. So far I’m thinking either Crooks or Midge.
I thought Jody was on her third husband. She blew threw him as well?
Gretchen Use to be pretty, she aint no more. now shes all caked and fake, just like Alexsis, I don’t know why they all gained up on her when they’re as superficial. Anywho After season the finale part 1
i feel like my OC dream cast is
Jeana
Lauri
Vicki
Gretchen
Alexis
Tamara
Heather
@labowner — the “blow throw” sounds like quite a way to get rid of a third husband!
I thought this was one of the most entertaining and cringe worthy episodes of the entire season.
As far as the cake goes, Cinderella Cakes is very popular in this area and I could easily see that cake costing $500. There was obviously a miscommunication about the styling of the cake but Ive purchase a cake from there for a simple birthday and it cost me over $100.
Heather had mentioned that she was kindof doing a naming party like she did with her kids when they were named which is a jewish tradition, so while i do think it was an ‘all about me’ party, she did have sincer intentions.
As far as Sarah goes and Heather overreacting.. I dont think she overreacted at all. Most of the drama did seem to take place inside with just the housewives, where the guests were outside. I dont care if I was serving a Costco sheet cake, I’d be way pissed if someone touched it before it was even served. You just dont do that.
Vickis ‘fur’ looked way outdated and I wouldnt be surprised if it was purchased second hand, if it was even purchased at all. Brooks is just so slimey I cant take it! Speaking of slimey, what the hell was Slade wearing? He came dressed as if he was hoping to tend bar. The wa=earing of the furs is for attention and nothing else. It does get cold at night by the water but a heavy fur coat is not comfortable and a big waste of money to me. Fake fur vests and such are a huge trend right now which I still dont get.
Kara actually annoyed me. Was she just trying to get camera time? I dont get it? She was just to manufactured and over the top to get attention.
oh my goodness, excuse the typos! I just re read. Thats what I get for typing all that on my phone.
I thought Slade was going for an artist/boho look (fail/fail) because everyone knew they couldn’t compete with the Dubrows’ house. The Norwegian film director does not have to dress to impress.
I have no doubt the CHARGED over $500 for that hideous cake. I just would never ADMIT that I was shallow and stupid enough to PAY over $500 for that hideous cake. There are no limits to what enterprising retailers will find to lure people with money to spend that money on (see ‘life coach’, ‘spiritual advisor’, ‘astrologist’, ‘personal shopper/makeup artist/assistant’, etc) that we see all the time on the Housewives franchises. And super duper special fondant party cakes for less than super duper special occasions for half a K fall into that category for me as well. That old saying, ‘a fool and his money are soon departed’ was really tailor made for those with new money. They’ll spend money on ANYTHING as long as they think it makes them seem special and entitled. Very Klassy.
Oh, and the whole ‘hotel’ comment: that was priceless. I’ve been thinking that for a while now. That house looks like they rented it from someone who told them to be sure and stay in only certain rooms and stay off the furniture, what little of it there is. I think it is very telling that one of the housewives was taken to the BATHROOM to visit with Heather a few weeks back (Gretchen or Tamra, I don’t remember which). I don’t care how enormous and lovely your bathroom is, it’s not the usual place to receive visitors for a sit down and have a glass of wine talk. That was totally bizarre and the only reason I could think of for it is that Heather isn’t allowed to film in most of the house. That ‘It’s 20000 square feet but now that we have four kids it simply will not be large enough! We must build a completely NEW house!’ house.
So, yeah. Hotel. Perfect description.
I heart all your comments. SOOO accurate. Tamra is the worst AND most frequent “fake-crier” in HW history…..”I’m headed *sniffle* for divorce *sniffle* and I don’t know what to do *shakeheadsniffle*”..classic. My BF’s baby AND my painkiller-seeking patients try the same shit, but fail miserably due to the fact that no tears actually come out.
I’m curious as to when Gretch will realize she’s not 13 yrs old. She’s a hot mess of 80′s make-up, hair-bows, Limited Too vintage, cutlet inserts, and clogged pores. I want hot-roller/pre-crows-feet-due-to-babysitting-deadbeat-bf Gretchen!!! Order some proactiv and quit shopping in the “tween” section, Bitch!
I love Terri.
Whoever commented waaaaay up top about Drunk Sarah having a Dana from BH air about her hit the nail on the head. She’s desperate to achieve relevance on a pathetic crapfest s/a bravo’s RHW, which is tragic and sad.
Alexis sucks in more ways than I can list for you,& I’m convinced that she only buddied up with Sarah’s pointless-ass cuz she knew that dumb bitch would do somehing stupid that she could then “go-to-bat” for her for. Alexis wanted to prove a non-existent point by “sticking up” for a moron’s behavior. Keepin it real, Alexis! *eyeroll*
Ya’ll are assholes for making me remember what a cuntface Vicki was a couple seasons back in reaction to Bri telling her she would like to be a nurse in the army. When I decided to become a medic, my parents were extremely proud of the un-rewarding, selfless choice I’d made to spend my life tending to other people, & vicki’s disappointed reaction angered me to no end. Fuck a fur coat….Accutane and a prenup should be Vicki’s only focuses in life at this point. You daughter married a soldier in Vegas. Get over it. There are FAR worse paths she could’ve gone down. Micheal is a chicklet-toothed frat-boy with zero redeaming qualities,, so I think the healthcare provider/Army wife deserves a lil slack, no? …*sigh*
I ended up spending $65 for a deluxe “Princess Cake” for my bf’s 2-yr-old (which I was quoted at the price of “around” $40), and ended up with a pile of neon frosting and a few plastic princess figurines from dollar general I had to apply myself, soooo I totes feel Heather’s pain. And I’d punch a bitch in the face if she fucked my $65 cake up. NEVER spend real moo-la on a cake, and if you choose to, make sure you see it IN PERSON before ordering it……Fucking Publix Bakery…. *twitch*
I’m LOVING these reunion list/re-runs the past couple days, ya’ll. “Close ya legs ta married men”….”Are you jealous of the shit that comes out of your mouth?”….”Go scratch Caroline”…..”I’m so weak that I let my douche-bag husband smack me around, but I’m tough enough to pop my jaw back into socket on a toilet”…O.k., I made up the last one, but Taylor deserved to get drowned in that pool for simply marrying a tool like Russel.
Ok, I’m done.
I don’t know if its too much make up on her face but the comment about her being caked up is totally true! It seems like she’s just all make up. I wonder if she took it all off if she’d be prettier. Kinda like Sammie’s no make up pictures from Jersey Shore.
@Zedd You know who else is like that? Kim Kardashian! I saw a picture of her without makeup on. I didn’t even recognize her. She’s actually a real pretty girl! But you’d never believe it if you didn’t see the picture.
“I don’t care how enormous and lovely your bathroom is, it’s not the usual place to receive visitors for a sit down and have a glass of wine talk. That was totally bizarre ”
Ah, but see, you are not a pompas ass that wants folks (and the camera) to think that you are giving them your precious time while you are getting ready for a more important meeting.
@Robinez…I couldn’t agree with you more…I’m so funny about bathrooms (and I’m ocd clean in my own due to being immunosuppresed) that I won’t even take a glass in my bathroom or leave my toothbrush out. It’s just not the place to eat and/or drink in my opinion.
I think the FUR that Crooks got must have been from a Salvation Army store, or some such. There is no way Crooks could have afforded it otherwise. And it kind of makes sense to me, considering that Vicky never took it off – there was probably sawn in Salvation Army store tag still there, and she did not have a chance to remove at home given their rushing out; or there was a huge stain or rip on the lining that Viks needed to hide. (I mean, that’s what I imagine Crooks’s standard is, and no use convincing me otherwise).
Plus that coat had a horrible cut/silhouette, like it came from the ’60s; totally out of fashion now, but apparently the FUR of the fur so blinded Vicky she did not even notice the cut. What a heinous, vapid piece of work she is.
Gretchen’s face looks like it has gotten stuck midway thru the hormone therapy for a gender reassignment surgery. It seems to have lost the hold on the underlying muscles and is sliding down, and the chin/jaw are desperately trying to stop this slide, so they keep extending themselves out and away. Also, her face used to look delicate due to the correct eye makeup. She used to wear day-use fake lashes, some light shadow, and barely any liner – definitely none on the lower lid. Now she’s ‘upgraded’ to the full on racoon eye treatment, and it is just WAY TOO F-ING MUCH!!! This way over-bleached weave is not helping matters either, and the amount of bronzer/rouge required to prevent complete washout is staggering, and clearly not healthy for her skin.
Finally, the stress of being imbroiled in Slimey’s financial mess must be adding to her skin problems, since that’s how our female bodies react, for shame. But most significantly, she may actually BE physically ALLEGIC to Slimey. It happens sometimes, the two people’s body chemistry does not mesh up, and the most visible reaction is the severe increase in ‘pimplage’.
Whatever the reason, she’s definitely entered the ‘not aging well’ club this season, and Vicki was holding the door wide open for her.
Actually, if Vickie’s ‘new’ fur was older that’s a good thing because that makes it more of a heritage fur and less likely to get the side eye from those who see wearing any fur as an executionable offense. If the animals were killed and skinned fifty years ago before people were really conscious of the evil of fur (the thinking goes) then the damage is already done and you are not feeding into the current fur harvesting industry. That’s the thinking. It doesn’t always fly with everyone but it is the first line of defense when wearing fur and being faced with someone who wants to hurt you badly for daring to do so. So…if I were going to buy a fur, not that I would myself, that’s what I would do. So I don’t have a problem with that.
She’s still an idiot, and no one who has any taste or class at all would even MENTION the fur, the gift, the expense, etc, but that’s our Housewives for you. Woo hoo! I work! Money! Insurance! Sigh.
If I’d known any better, I’d say Brooks stole that fur from Kramer’s (Seinfeld) closet for Vickie!
What did jeana mean by being guest of Gretchen/Slade? that was weird! $500 for a cake?? heather better learn to go to walmart and get a sheetcake. Was the lady that made the cake the same lady that did the painting party??
@Rebecca Pressley….I asked somewhere the same question about the cake lady but never got an answer. I’m thinking it must be so since we both recognized her….Her name was Timree…Heather/Bravo must’ve cut a deal with her….
Anyone think the fur coat was left behind at the cleaners because the owner died thus the plastic covering?
You all think so little of Brooks! He actually worked hard to collect all the bottles and cans it took to get the money to pay the consignment store for that coat. Then he had to meticulously and painstakingly remove all the stitching that spelled the previous owner’s name from the lining. You can’t expect Vicki to wear a coat that says ‘Gloria’ can you?
Wouldn’t it be hysterical if Gretchen said something like, “That looks just like one of my mother’s old furs.”
Can’t wait to see the real fur fly when Briana confronts Vick tonight. Meow! Go girl!
I am up at 2AM wondering why Jeana was a guest of Gretchen/slade……it truly bothers me!!
awww poor baby….that was just bravo’s reason du jour to get them there and add a spec of drama to a desperate finale…..
I just read that Crooks got the coat from a store in Newport, for publicity/promos. He probably had to return it bwhahahaha. Plus his ex’s are twittering up a storm that he’s still calling her (drunk dialing). Vickie – people have been telling you this, and you keep sticking up for the louse!!
@Rebecca – Slade and Jeana have been friends for years (remember Vickie’s house that Jeana was selling, well Jeana let Slade store all his stuff in Vickie’s garage without even asking her) Plus it was the finale, so Jeana and Kara probably wanted some airtime and a paycheck.
shouldnt heather have invited them since it was Heathers party??
“ostensibly” it’s heather’s party
I saw bits of an article that Vicki claims she got rid of the fur because PETA sent her videos of how animals are treated before being killed and skinned. She said she didn’t have any idea how awful the conditions were so she couldn’t keep the coat. LOL, like it wasn’t back at the rental store the next day.
@ kczar…HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *gasps for breath* bWHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
It’s as if the coat was a prop for the show and she gave it back. Gave it back where?!?!?!? FOH Vicki
LOL!! Yeah, like “saw the PETA video and was shocked” wasn’t code for “rental due back in three weeks. Otherwise additional charges will apply.”
Get ready for screaming Tuesday with Vicki!
The way Vicki’s screaming you’d think Tamera offered her a ride in a family van.
@sheesh…you got me big time…lolzzz
you can pick up vintage furs for less than £100 on ebay, retro boutiques etc. Most people don’t support the fur trade these days. I bet Vickis gift from Brooks is”pre-loved”. Heathers friend who flew them in her helicopter made a comment worthy of Alexis, about her son saying something along the lines of; ‘why dont those people take their helicopters rather than que in traffic’, not cute, sickening, a bit like Marie Antoinettes ‘let them eat cake’ I bet Heather didn’t tell her it makes her sound pretentious. Tamra saying about Vicki having a drunken fling was mean. Even if it’s true, you don’t break a confidence like that even if you fall out with that person. I wouldn’t trust her with any secret. Still, Vicki shouldn’t have accused Gretchen of cheating on Jeff, maybe it’s Karma. I’m surprised to find myself liking Gretchen more, she’s bright and articulate, the smartest of the lot, apart from her relationship with Slade, but nobody’s perfect. As for Alexis, all you young girls out there, never allow a man to treat you as anything other than an equal, look at Alexis and aspire to be the exact opposite.