RHOC Recap: Ridiculously Resourceful Reunion, Part 1


By Honey Gangsta | | 6:00 am | 57 Comments

*If a pretend news anchor calls you out on being a fake actress, keep calling it “maligning your career” so that the pretend news anchor can’t understand what you’re saying and therefore can’t respond.

*If you try to run offstage because a dive bombing sparrow scared the crap out of you, hurry and redeem yourself by making a twitter joke about giving new meaning to the word “tweet.”

*Speak clearly and concisely and make good points using legitimate examples.  It won’t get you anywhere with your castmates, but you’ll come off looking less insane.

*Save the day-glo colors for a muted print in a cute black dress.  This way you won’t look like a blinding block of tacky color.

*Always remind people that your husband is a doctor.  You’ll feel knowledgeable AND superior.

Gretchen’s Guidelines

*When it’s your first reunion as brand new BFFs, trade hairpieces and wear the same color so that people can’t tell you apart and it really sinks in that you are one soul. (Sound familiar?)

*Always stand by your man.  Especially if he is a lazy, mooching, deluded deadbeat dad.  It’s helpful when someone else gets a boyfriend just like him!

*Pronounce “ing” as “een.”  Like, “That was amazeen!”  It will remind everyone that you were in pageants and know how to talk without messing up your lipstick.

*If you get lip injections, but want to make sure you don’t have to answer questions about it on camera, only admit it at the reunion… which is on camera.  And stop thinking your extensions are fooling anyone.

And most importantly, from ALL of the Real Housewives of Orange County:

***Just remember that as long as there is noise coming out of your mouth, you are winning!

What brilliant instruction did you personally receive from the first half of the reunion?  Share it in the comments!


Check out Flipit’s Video ReDub of the Reunion 

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-Honey Gangsta

Late one afternoon in 2005, Honey Gangsta received an invite to join a two person blog set up by her former roommate who had recently ditched LA (California knows how to party) for the bright lights of NYC (these streets will make you feel brand new, the lights will inspire you). The purpose of the blog was to continue their nightly ritual of ripping on reality TV, which could no longer be done in person. Since Honey Gangsta was still watching 18 hours of TV a day and had nothing else to do, she agreed. 10,000 hits later, HG was inspired to submit a Bachelor recap to TVgasm - no one was reporting on Officer Mayo and his time traveling DeLorean - and the rest is history. It's been said that she writes what you're thinking. It's been said she is a genius - a Blogger Laureate of her time. It's also been said that the earth is flat and no one landed on the moon, so you just never know. With her keen observations, and colorful commentary, Honey Gangsta is beloved the world over.

57 Comments

  1. 1
    Runswithscissors
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 6:42 am

    Where is this facebook page about Alexis?

  2. 2
    Andyourlittledogtoo
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 7:14 am

    Great recap. I love the tips.

    I know. Tamra’s evil. Tamra’s evil. Tamra’s evil. But….of all the HWs she really seems to be the one that says what is true. She is manipulative and mean and moves people around to suit her own purposes but she says true things.

    I also liked how Heather kept trying to explain to Alexis about how normal people have conversations and Alexis just couldn’t wrap her little pea brain around the concept. Alexis is pretty harmless, certainly, but she is the most extraordinarily delusional materialistic superficial hypocrite in the franchise. She’s just not smart enough to destroy other people with it is all. And she is clearly humiliated by her asshat husband’s dismissive attitude toward her. She reminds me of a rat on a wheel who can’t get off for fear of being discarded as unworthy. He judges every move she makes, every word, every pound she gains or loses, everything she wears. It’s like she is on a precipice and can’t get off it. I feel bad for her even though I can’t stand her.

    Vickie is so hateful. And that whole ‘evil eye’ business is just ridiculous. I loved Tamra’s exclamation, “He had to protect you from an eyeroll!?’” No matter what the Doublemint Twins said Vickie turned it around on them in some way. It was breathtaking to watch the master at work deflecting and projecting and defending. She never falters, never wavers from her position of total perfection and superiority and rightness, even when she is batshit crazy and wrong. You’ve gotta admire that kind of consistency and steadfastness.

    Can’t wait until Monday. That should be great.

  3. 3
    aliens.rock aliens.rock
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 7:18 am

    Frankly, the recap wasn’t groundbreaking, but maybe because the reunion episode was so boring…I tried to watch it, but I found myself doing plenty of other things all over the house. Also, my husbund siiting on the couch and grumbling about the stupidity of the series was a factor, too. I gave up watching after a half an hour, I must admit.
    My initial reaction when I saw Gretchen and Tamra: WTF??? They looked so tacky and fake, almost like caricatures of themselves. Fake hair, fugly dresses, pounds of make up that is not fooling anyone…It is RH of Orange Country after all, right?
    Actually, they didn’t have to go there. I thouught that Alexis, Vicky, and Heather looked pretty( maybe in a sort of a regular woman vs. a transvestite way), but still….

  4. 4
    TWhit
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 7:18 am

    First off…OMG I LOVED HEATHER’S OUTFIT SO HARD!!!!!

    Secondly…I, too, scream and yell and my loved ones, have massive acne breakouts, and commence to throwdown over eyerolls when I AM AT MY HAPPIEST EVERRRRRRR!!!

    I’m apparently not very happy right now.

  5. 5
    Surly Girly Surly Girly
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 7:21 am

    Tamra is morphing into Dolly Parton! Could her hair get any bigger? Her little face peers from the middle of it like a capuchin monkey. Scroll down to the third photo and tell me I’m not lying …

    http://www.heathwood.org/simpson/quicklinks/animalsoftherainforest/capuchinmonkey.htm

    Gretchen is morphing into a Kewpie doll. But no matter how over the top her paint face and extensions get, I still maintain she’s an intelligent and quick-witted woman. I’d be her friend. And once friendship was established, I’d tell her to go wash her face.

    Vicki looks like she’s wearing support hose. Here’s a thought – if your legs are less than camera-ready, try wearing a soft, flowy dress that covers your knees. Oh, and Vicki? You really need to rethink those dresses that make you look like a Miss Piggy in a Blanket. Not a good look.

    There is too much of everything going on when I look at Alexis. The extensions too long, the curls too curly. The highlights too heavy, the lipgloss too thick and shiny, the eyelashes too heavy and black … and don’t get me started on her “Jesus Jugs.”

    I am happy to note that Heather has softened her Cruella de Ville look – she was borderline scary at her little party. Still, she needs to lose the Cruel attitude – please don’t tell someone to lie down and accept the fact they’re dead, even if they’re not.

    Finally … poor li’l sparrow. I hope it got out safely!

  6. 6
    cloudsinmycoffee
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 7:31 am

    Tamra is aging terribly, and her make-up isn’t helping her face in the least! I don’t understand why she keeps jumping into relationships without considering how maybe she should be single for a little while. I don’t think 1 session with a therapist will help those kids adjust.

    Gretchen has barbie textured hair, ugh. I like her, but does she really need extensions?

    Vicki’s hairdo was not the thing. It looked half done and rushed, and it wasn’t complimenting her Twilight Zone “In The Eye of the Beholder” face. Ugh.
    Alexis, ok. You get a pass because I didn’t get to see your areolas and that alone is a feat. And your husband is a total piece of garbage.
    While Heather has her moments of normal, she really has a mean girl streak in her. Just tell Alexis you don’t like her for not liking sake and move it along. Don’t sit there and say you dislike her because she treats the crew a certain way, that I don’t buy at all.

  7. 7
    OutHouseCat
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 7:39 am

    Surly Girly, you’re so right about that pinhead Tamra. My first thought was that she traded her Dolly Partin tittays for a Dolly Partin wig. With that microcephalic head encapsulating that tiny brain, I’m not surprised at some of the idiotic thoughts that spew out. She looked like pure evil at times, with her mouth drawn tight and her black eyes slitted. Scary! How old is that hag, anyway? If she gets a spin-off, it should be called Granny and the Gay.

  8. 8
    Toad
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 8:09 am

    @outhousecat i agree with you about Tamra looking evil! Especially during the reunion…She looked like a wax figure…she just did not look right

    Idk I’m not liking anyone this season. I hated how Heather Gretchen and Tamra were all together on that little couch harping on Alexis like a little mean girl gang. GAG. It is seriously high school and Heather is just as mean as Tamra, but atleast Tamra owns that she is a huge bitch.

  9. 9
    polk8dot
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 8:14 am

    Icky is one of those jerks that blindly treats people like shi! all the time, unless she really needs something from them, or knows she may in the future. Then she turns around and accuses everybody else of doing to her what she’s been doing to others all along.
    I can’t stand a-holes like that! Her self-righteousness, her total lack of accountability, her complete shirking of ANY responsibility, are galling in the extreme. But her constant insistence that everyone is just jealous of her happiness goes to prove how tryly delussional she is. Icky – you’re not all that!!! There is realy NOT ONE reason for anybody to be jealous of you!
    That b!tch is f-ing 50!!!!! Acting like a brain-free high school brat is so not pretty on her. And, with all her ‘life experience’, it is hillarious that she’d be the one, of all of them, who got so di@kmatized she stopped seeing straight.
    I totally understand the ‘ladies’s’ frustration – you can’t argue with stupid, an Icky (despite her business sense – or what we think of it based on her boasting) is unbelievably stupid.

  10. 10
    hot cawfee
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 8:38 am

    @6 Cloudy– agreeing with you on Heather– I suspect (and strongly I may add) that Mrs. Dr. Heather has had many a moment of treating people badly ( wait staff, salespeople etc). She has so many other reasons for disliking Alexis–Heather, don’t make yourself a saint by sticking up for the crew. They will get Alexis back—am counting (and really hoping) on that.

  11. 11
    cloudsinmycoffee
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 8:43 am

    @10 – hot cawfee – Yeah!! Like the scene in the beginning of the season where’s she’s having dinner with her husband and has this moment because the fish she ordered was “too thick” or some such nonsense. The mean look she gave and the snide comment of how the waiter didn’t understand what she said, seriously? It’s fucking fish. Slice the damn thing in half and eat the half you want. Idiot. How does that really ruin a meal???

    Alexis may be an idiot, but she’s a harmless idiot. And the only person her husband is hurting with his presence is her. Her posturing gets old, but I don’t think she actually knows any better, and that fake intervention was total b.s., but then she did the same to Vicki (who I think deserved it and is a hag anyway, so…. )

  12. 12
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 9:18 am

    Clearly HG you were reading my rum filled mind on this one:

    *If you realize that you’re looking older and older, despite modern surgery’s best efforts, put white eyeliner along your lower inner eyelids. Poof! You’re 24 again.

    Back to reading!

  13. 13
    JJ
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 9:22 am

    I actually buy that Alexis is horrible to the crew. Remember her bitchiness to the people serving breakfast in Costa Mexico??? If she is like that on camera I think she would be worse behind the scenes.

  14. 14
    Surly Girly Surly Girly
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 9:29 am

    @OutHouseCat: You nailed it – Tamra lost volume on her chest and had to compensate by adding it to her head. One way or another, she’s compelled to look like a hooker – girl can’t help it.

  15. 15
    labowner
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 9:37 am

    First off Heather, even if the Facebook page was true, you might have gotten them all fired as I am sure that is a number one no-no for Nordstroms. As if all sales people are the nicest in the world. Please. Secondly, the reaction Andy had made me think Heather is lying and one person got in her ear. After three seasons you want me to believe he hasn’t heard anything negative from the crew?

    Who is Heather to take about Alexis treating people like crap when she is the queen of mean at restaurants? Does she not think her food gets dropped on the floor especially now that everyone in OC can see what she thinks of their establishments? Come on Heather, show them how to run a proper restaurant with great food.

  16. 16
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 9:50 am

    Can’t we all take a moment to stop and really think about the amount of botox that was used in preparation for that reunion? Good GOD!

    I agree with so much here, Tamra Pardon, Heather from Heathers, Icky Gunvalson ever defiant and righteous, and Alexis always always always having to be quizzed by Miss Andy over a definition or geography or her annuciation of a word(s), it’s embarassing and boring but who I am most disappointed in is Gretchen.

    Like the above commenter, I have always liked Gretch and I think, though she doesn’t make the best choices in the love department, she has always been consistent in her personality and I admired that. What pissed me off (even though I knew already) was when Alexis finally ratted her out for her fake hair and lips (and breats, I suspect) after they attacked her. I felt let down somehow that even though she’s had a bumpy ride the past 4 years she maintained some couth but man, she’s a phony liar too. (With Synergy of Gem and the Holograms type make-up, GAG!)

    I hope next week is better but I am doubtful. As always Miss Andy just let’s everyone yell over each other and no one gets heard. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

    Thanks for the recap HG!

  17. 17
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 9:59 am

    @labowner, I agree with you about Heather. The movie ‘Waiting” comes to mind every time I hear/read/see something about her bitching about OC eating establishments.

    Having been a bartender/waitress at one point in my life, I learned you NEVER mistreat the staff.

    I will disagree on one point though. Nordstrom’s is famous and often the most widely used example on how to train a sales representative properly. They’ve set the industry standard with the age old story of them taking back a lawn mower when, at the time, they only sold shoes. Its how the’ve set the bar. So, do I think everyone is a peach, no. But, I do think Nordstrom Sales Reps swallow a LOT to take care of their customers to protect that store’s brand.

    The FB page would definitely get them all fired IMHO.

  18. 18
    LAC LAC
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 10:03 am

    Oh, HoneyG – you hit it out of the park!! I just wanted to walk on that set with some wet towelettes and wipe some of the layers of makeup on these heiffas. It is not glamourous when you look like you got your makeup done at Lauren Manzo’s Caaface counter. A paint ball shooter would have been more subdued.

    Vicki – trade the “like a Virgin” outfit in for a dictionary. You do not know what the word hypocrite means.

    Tamra – that “Dynasty” hair does not deflect from that ferret face of yours. Particularly when it is mid snarl.

    Gretchen – matching outfits and Barbie hair? Really? Are you sure you want to be one with Tamra because I think Charlize Theron was channeling her in “Snow White and the Huntsman”.

    Alexis – I believe that you are a “see you next tuesday” to staff and that you are a “pretenscious” twit with the IQ of a lemon. However, you have chinned up load who you have to lay back and point your feet to Jesus to, so things even out. :)

    Heather – you were making sense up there, your dress wasn’t day glo, and your hair didn’t appear to have “grown” overnight – I would say that you don’t belong here, but your glorious pretentiousness saved you.

  19. 19
    Mimo
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 10:31 am

    Whoever worked on Heather’s eyes (certainly hope it wasn’t Terry) should be shot. I don’t know if it was the make up, lighting, or if she had something done, but talk scowl everytime she was talking. It was like there was an elastic rope between her mouth and her right eye. Everytime she spoke, the right eye came down.

  20. 20
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 10:48 am

    @ Mimo I said the same thing!

  21. 21
    Sugarbush Sugarbush
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 11:13 am

    @Cloudsinmycoffee — Twilight Zone “In The Eye of the Beholder” face.

    I’m still crying over that comment. That’s the most spot-on observation I’ve ever heard.

    @HoneyG – Awesome recap! I love the format. It’s probably the only way to make any real sense out of that. I applaud your abilities!

    Mr. Sugarbush gets increasingly grossed out by Tamra each episode. This show makes my face hurt. When I watch it, my face wants to see how natural it can possibly feel to look like them. With Tamra, my eyes squint and top lip does that weird grimace/arch thing. With Jesus Jugs, it’s the blow-up doll lip pose. Gretchen’s is the lips working over the giant veneers. And with Vicki, it’s the flared nostrils, super dimples, teeth showing/chomping, O-mouth thingy, and bugged out eyes. Vicki’s bothers me the most. It’s very tiring to hold a face like that.

    With all of that said, thank God that Skeletor-looking chick from last year is gone, because her face hurt really, really bad.

  22. 22
    Sugarbush Sugarbush
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 11:33 am

    I love that Breanna is rebellious child, because being rebellious against Vicki makes a very well-balanced, normal person.

    I never understood the Gretchen hate. I’m not totally sure how I feel about the Unbreakable bracelet. I’m not sure if that makes her a fake bitch or if it’s hilarious and she’s not letting Tamra get away with being a horrible person for a long time.

  23. 23
    labowner
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 11:35 am

    Sugar do you use your hands to pull your face back to look like Heather?

    How embarrassed must Tamra’s kids feel? I see a new show in Dr. Drew’s future. The Children of the Housewives Show Rehab Institute.

  24. 24
    Angela
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 11:52 am

    @labowner – Yes! I would tune in for that. There are certainly many damaged Housewives offspring to choose from. They could do several episdoes on Kelly “Crackers” Bensimmon’s poor unseen children.

  25. 25
    LAC LAC
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 12:10 pm

    Angela – or a season with Danielle Staub’s kids.

  26. 26
    Andyourlittledogtoo
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 12:17 pm

    Don’t even get me started on the hair, makeup, and clothing choices of these women.

    Heather does pretty well. Her clothing and hair are usually very good and she looked good at the reunion. Her makeup was too heavy and I don’t know what the eye thing is with her but all in all she’s fine.

    Alexis looks pretty good if the look she is going for is call girl Barbie, which honestly I think it is. It’s way too much of everything but it works together nicely, no glaring wrongness other than the over the top sluttiness of the whole thing, especially on a woman who claims a hyper evangelical religiosity. No areola sightings indeed. That was refreshing.

    Vickie you can understand by simply looking at her ‘Vickie’ blurb before her scenes: she does the ‘oooo!’ Betty Boop dip and dimple that I am sure she thinks makes her look young and sexy. She is not young and sexy, she is ridiculous and piggish. Her clothing mostly says ‘businesswoman who wouldn’t mind sleeping with the client if she thought it would get her the business’. A strange juxtaposition for someone who claims to be as hard working and righteous as she is. Her breasts are way too large for her clothing and her makeup is way too caked on to have any effect other than to emphasize her age. I didn’t think her hair looked too bad although the style seems too young for her. But she’ll be Betty Booping into her eighties so good luck explaining any of that to her. Insurance!

    Tamra at the reunion put me in mind of a line from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. When asked how she knew a guy was a vampire she exclaimed, “You’d have to have been dead for ten years to think THAT was still the look!” I have seen Goths wear less dark eye makeup than Tamra has this season. Does she think if she just hides her eyes from view behind gobs of black that we will not notice her wrinkles? She looks ten years older this year than last year. Girl is rough. I don’t think I have ever seen her look worse than at the reunion though, that was just an unfortunate choice of hair, makeup, and clothing all around.

    And last, Gretchen. Oh, Gretchen. There are twelve year olds that have more fashion sense than you and dress more appropriately (and older). If Slade is ‘helping’ her pick out her clothing then whatever she is ‘paying’ him to ‘assist’ her needs to stop immediately. Slade is not helping you sweetie. She needs to stop shopping in the junior miss section of the store. From 1980.

  27. 27
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 12:31 pm

    OMG! You are all killing me! LAC…I can’t….

    @Andyourlittledogtoo I told Gypsy BF that Alexis should STFU and just do porn already!

    HA! I am going to hell.

  28. 28
    labowner
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 1:06 pm

    To me Alexis dresses no different than most “catholic women” who attend new age or one off churches. Look at Victoria Olsteen.

    Gypsy we will all be there with you. What I don’t understand is why folks ask for aisle or window seats on their trip to hell. There will be nothing but middle seats and your worst nightmares sitting all around you.

  29. 29
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 1:11 pm

    Fuckin’ A right. Middle seat, clutching that foam seat that smells like feet and farts, as if that will save any of us at all.

  30. 30
    LAC LAC
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 1:20 pm

    Gypsy! LOL!! feet and farts – what, is Jim Bellino sitting near you?

  31. 31
    Maudtherriault
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 1:21 pm

    Labowner, I’m a “Catholic woman” and have been accused of looking a bit dowdy at Mass, so thanks for the compliment!

  32. 32
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 1:29 pm

    LAC, I travel a lot for work, I see things that happen on planes that can’t be unseen! It’s a pitfall of the job for sure. Last three trips were close to what I would consider my rocketship ride to hell.

    One woman was picking her barefeet with her hands…it gets worse from there…GAH!

    Tamra Barney’s white eyeliner is less scary than thinking about holding on to that feet/fart/flotation device. (Which btw…that whole number she had on was a very bad idea but, whoever talked her into white eyeliner should join us on the plane; first row middle seat!)

  33. 33
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 1:30 pm

    And I should be so lucky to have Jimmy “The Chin” sit next to me…*chesire cat grin*

  34. 34
    LAC LAC
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 1:34 pm

    Oh, Gypsy! The humanity. Picking feet? Jaysus!!

  35. 35
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 1:48 pm

    I made sure to stop there so you can all enjoy your weekends! XO

  36. 36
    Sugarbush Sugarbush
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 2:21 pm

    Oh, I almost forgot! Did anyone notice during Heather’s educating Alexis on normal conversations that she noted how much she’s learned about insurance from talking to Vicki?! That had me rolling, y’all.

  37. 37
    Rosemary's Baby
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 2:50 pm

    Vicki is a disciple from gospel according to George Costanza: “It’s not a lie, if you believe it”.
    Amen.

  38. 38
    labowner
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 3:14 pm

    Oh my gawd. Has anyone read Tamra’s blog yet? What an ever loving bitch. “The bottom line: friends don’t let friends date losers!” No Tamra, friends let their friends date losers (as much as it might pain you) and then they do what a friend is supposed to do and be there when it falls apart without saying “I told you so”. You are way out of high school, please start acting like it.

    Interesting as Vicki tosses a dig at Tamra for being unemployed and needing money to support her kids. I would have assumed Tamra has been around for long enough she should be getting a fat paycheck no?

  39. 39
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 3:47 pm

    I think Nads posted the paychecks for most of the highest paid RH’s, I think Tamra was in the 250k range…

    Can’t remember for sure though and not sure if it was posted pre or post hackergate.

  40. 40
    annie Annie
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 4:38 pm

    I seriously think Tamz’s hair is thinning out (stress? Aging? who knows) and her solution is to tease the shit out of it like a blonde Elvira Mistress of the Dark.

    http://my.spill.com/photo/elvira-mistress-of-the-dark-10

  41. 41
    labowner
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 5:34 pm

    Please let’s address the weave in the room. . .Austin Powers Fembot, Barbarella, Stepford Wife, Dolly Parton, bird’s nest, I have heard all the jokes. Hell, I had a great time on Twitter laughing at some of them! Okay I get it, it wasn’t my best hair day. I had a new hair person that put about 10 clip-in hair pieces and by the end of the day I had a headache from holding up that weave. Live and learn. . .right?

  42. 42
    outhousecat
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 6:54 pm

    Who else thinks Tamra’s new bff Gretchen helped her with her hair and make-up? I mean, I know Gretch wanted her new bestie to look great, right?

  43. 43
    maryedith
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 7:19 pm

    Tamra’s gonna turn on Gretchen like nobody’s business next season (maybe two) and worm her way into 80′s Heather’s good graces. Icky is right that she can only be friends with one woman at a time. I think Heather’s mean girlness was something the producers asked for, but I still hated her for it.

  44. 44
    caligal
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 9:57 pm

    Tammy Sue looked like a washed up, b-list country singer, circa 1984.

    Brooks on replay, on replay, on replay was even creepier than the first time we all heard his crap.

    Brooks: “I put the STD in stud. All I need is U.”
    Vickie: “I AM SO HAPPY! I HAVE TO GO TO WORK!”

  45. 45
    Surly Girly Surly Girly
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 10:00 pm

    I totally agree with maryedith re Heather’s mean girl persona. She realizes she needs to deliver the drama in order to be invited back. Without stirring the pot, she’s kinda irrelevant. Still – her frequent bouts of normalcy and level-headedness are refreshing in that otherwise turgid swamp of fear and loathing.

  46. 46
    caligal
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 10:02 pm

    And Alexis isn’t smart enough to brag about Jimbo’s grifting without playing the one-up game. It’s the only way she knows how to talk about success, even if it is a rented house and a fake ring. She’s an idiot and I cannot stand her.

    Heather is the only one who looked like she did not buy her dress at some knock-off strip mall store in the valley, and have her hair and make-up done at the local community beauty school.

  47. 47
    2muchbravo
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 11:46 pm

    OMG caligal!

    STD in Stud!
    That sounds SO like something Crooks would say and Icky would eat it up.

    Vicky keeps screaming that she’s happier than she’s been in a long time. Everyone thinks Crooks is up to no good. I wonder if anyone has ever tried to tell her, “I’m glad you’re happy. We want you to be happy. You just deserve better than him.” I guess love is blind. Or he’s got a really big schlong.

  48. 48
    Robin Robinez
    Posted July 15, 2012 at 7:50 pm

    “when Alexis finally ratted her out for her fake hair and lips (and breats, I suspect) after they attacked her. I felt let down somehow that even though she’s had a bumpy ride the past 4 years she maintained some couth but man, she’s a phony liar too”

    I had a completely different take on that. I though that Alexis was a terrible friend for bringing that up. It looked to me like Alexis was saying ” I am not the only phony one”, “go ahead and admit that you have fake lips”.

    Gretchen had every right to expect a friend not to bring that up on camera. And she had every right to deny it. She shouldn’t have been put in that position. Alexis is a bitch. I can believe it.

    TC, Robin

  49. 49
    Robin Robinez
    Posted July 15, 2012 at 8:09 pm

    “Yes! I would tune in for that. There are certainly many damaged Housewives offspring to choose from.”

    One of them might even show up in a plastic bag! (that plastic bag shit was so stupid)

    TC, Robin

  50. 50
    labowner
    Posted July 16, 2012 at 9:20 am

    Robinez after what Gretchen did to Alexis, how is Alexis the bitch for telling the truth about Gretchen’s lips which she already lied to Tamra, the cameras and everyone at Vicki’s dinner about getting them injected? Gretchen lives in a glass house and was throwing stones. One got tossed back.

  51. 51
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted July 16, 2012 at 9:47 am

    I wasn’t even thinking about Alexis because, I usually don’t. I just felt disappointed in the one character I ‘liked’ on the show even though deep down I, we, all knew there was something not ‘right’ about Gretchen.

    The fact that she was deluded enough to think that getting that drastic amount of work done would go unnoticed shows how out of touch she really is and, how much Gretch is now a fully functioning cog on the Bravo machine.

    Alexis wasn’t really the focus of my thoughts as I do not value her opinion so, I am set free of any offense she commits. I just don’t care about her.

  52. 52
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted July 16, 2012 at 9:48 am

    @labowner, what did Gretchen do? Be honest with her friend about being pretentious.

    I’ll say I’m with you Robin. Even if we aren’t friendly anymore I won’t out you to other people. Secrets stay secrets.

    They had this same issue on Basketball Wives.

  53. 53
    labowner
    Posted July 16, 2012 at 11:56 am

    I am sure Alexis knows a lot juicer stuff than injected lips about Gretchen and she has kept her quiet on all of those things. Ever since Gretchen boarded the Slade train, she has turned into an “always on the defensive” bitch. I do give her credit for attempting to be the mature one when it came to uncovering Brooks’ life issues. This location needs a recasting or scrap and start anew with real wives with real money. Unless Tamra is gone, who would want to join?

  54. 54
    labowner
    Posted July 16, 2012 at 11:58 am

    Heather and Gretchen you both have had work done. Own it because if you are going to lie about something so obvious, what else will you lie about?

  55. 55
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted July 16, 2012 at 12:15 pm

    They is NO WAY Bravo is doing away with Icky. She’s so bad it’s good reality TV.

  56. 56
    cherrylipgloss
    Posted July 16, 2012 at 9:08 pm

    Genius! Honeygangsta…
    @Toad….agree 100% that Heather is every bit as mean as Tamra….she just does it in her floity-toity….eh…excuse me…make that hoity-toity way of hers and thinks that makes it all better. Tamra’s just mean and makes no apologies and half the time she makes me laugh at her meaness….for that…she gets a checkplus

  57. 57
    Sugarbush Sugarbush
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 6:32 pm

    Holy moly! Vicki has lost her cotton-pickin’ mind. Straight up. She’s clearly suffering from depression and is clinging to the first person that showed her “love”. I went through this, too. Luckily it was when I was in my early 20s and not at the age of Methusela. I really do feel for her because of that experience and I have tons of sympathy. However (I just said that in the voice of Flipit doing Gretchen), she’s a finger-pointer and that’s not at all cool. There’s no excuse for that. I’m shocked Gretchen has remained as calm as she has, because I would have lost my shit on her a long time ago and the Bunco party most certainly was not Gretchen losing her shit at the level I would.

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